I just cant help myself

[natasha]

Lately I have been thinking that I may be taking this a little too far, dressing that is, so I have been trying to curb the urges. Well guess what, it aint workin noway no how!!! While I absolutley love dressing as frilly as I can, I am just worried that it is getting out of hand. I think about it almost every waking moment and Ive never been out enfemme yet. Almost every night when everyone saunters off to bed I cant help but to go downstairs to do some "research" and well...........that involves at the minimum wearing heels and hose. Most times I end up putting on one of my bras, inserts, and a skirt or a dress too. Ok, I got it out I feel better now.:love:

[Melinda G]

It's a lifetime thing. Get used to it, and enjoy it. It's like the mafia. Nobody gets out. :eek:

[Casey Morgan]

There is a fine line between enjoyment and obsession. As long as you respect that you can come back if you go too far. Remember, "transgendered" modifies "person", not the other way around. This is only part of who you are. If you can keep it in balance with the rest of your life then just relax and have fun.

[crossing-the-rain]

I'm struggle my life as you are,don't know hoe to answer you but remember this is our way and our choice , you choose the way for your own self or your family,your kids if you have,I just don't how to answer you nd slao myself .
Rain.

[Robin Leigh]

Sorry, what's the problem, Natasha? :D

The Pink Fog is like a drug that we have unlimited access to, except that it's more powerful than any drug yet discovered. Learning to use it wisely is an art that can take years to master! :)

If you feel your CDing is getting out of control, don't to try to suppress it. That will only make the urges stronger & harder to resist. The simplest way to achieve balance with any activity is to create a timetable & try to stick with it. A pattern of regularity can dominate spontaneous urges, given practice & positive reinforcement. For example, with eating disorders, it's recomended to eat only at regular mealtimes & to (try to) eat what you plan to eat.

So give yourself a realistic dressing up plan & try to stick with it. Make sure you get enough sleep at night & enough fresh air, exercise & sunshine during the day. If you want to under-dress, there's no reason why that can't be part of your CDing "diet". Some of us find that under-dressing can reduce those irresistable urges to fully dress.

Enjoy yourself when you dress, and don't torture yourself with guilt. Gradually, you will come to pride yourself on your ability to dress when you want to, not because you can't help yourself.

I hope this helps,

:hugs:

Robin

[suzy]

Natasha,

Well, welcome to the world we live in. Dressing is a consuming desire for a lot of us. It isn't easily surpressed and there is usually no good reason to surpress it. Managing time for it is ok if it has to be managed but time management must give ample time for dressing or you'll just go nuts!:eek:

I am not sure what you mean when you say that it is getting out of control. Who is being hurt by it? If you see it necessary, set aside a time specifically for dressing and then plan for that time to only dress or use it how you want to.

The point is starvation diets don't work. Depriving yourself of dressing will only create a stronger desire to dress, and it builds up until there is a problem.:hugs:

[Diana West]

It could be like me: an ebb and flow thing.
Sometimes I can go days without having the desire to dress. Then I've got days that I need to at least put on panties and some mascara before going to work. Then when I get home I completely dress up.
I wouldn't worry about it right now. If it starts interfering with something else that you want/need to do or if you start neglecting things because of it then you might want to thinking about whether it has become a hobby or lifestyle.
Otherwise enjoy!

[Michelle 51]

Natasha I think most of us know the feeling and your at the age that it seems to come to the surface again and seems to just keep progressing and we need more and go farther with it.Its like a drug in that its a fix and feels good and when we undress we're looking for another chance to do it again.There is no cure but being so addictive it wants to control you instead of you controling it.If you can try to control it because some say its harmless but if you are married and raising a family it can cost you a lot with family and work etc. Now if your single and in a ts lifestyle or your family has no problem with it fine.Depends where you are and how far you want to go.with it. I try to control it(depends on what day you ask me on what the reply will be)as much as i can because of where i am in life now.I know i wasn't much help but i feel better now.The answer to-day is i'm dressed to the hilt right now .O well tomorrow will be better. Maybe

[Emily Ann Brown]

I know what you mean hun and feel. Was a long time before I could dress and actually have a normal life while doing it. Just finally have the freedom to dress when I get home from work and live a normal life and be productive....in a dress. It takes time and lots of knowing yourself.

Emily Ann

[marie354]

Just face it... It's part of who you are. Go with the flow, not upstream.
:hugs:

[RobertaFermina]

Natasha,

I'm glad we can help you by hearing what you need to get out ! Glad you feel better.

I hear what you say about urges, and I am feeling the same thing. For me, it is about dressing, and communicating about dressing. I'm sure I spend more time Online about CDing than enfemme. Together that is a lot of time. My heart is in it, and my heart has withdrawn from other areas and I have to take inventory of myself and what I'm doing and how it serves me (or not?).

I agree with what Robin says about planning my time. It is a powerful technique. When I let someone declare the amounts of food I would eat, the food categories, and when, and I could choose what foods from those categories I would eat - I had structure not of my choosing, and variety of my choosing. Like scheduling when I would dress, and having the freedom to choose how I would dress.

I went from 303lbs to 175lbs in 10 months, and seldom felt deprived. My body learned to know when the next meal was coming, and I stopped wanting to eat as if I wasn't going to get another meal.

So if anyone feels like their dressing is overcoming their personal commitments and responsibilities and (if it is possible) physical or mental health, then scheduled doses as a remedy gets my vote.

I think this is tough stuff to regulate. My challenge is to get to know myself well enough to know, whenever I choose to "cross over" whether I am embracing or avoiding my life's meaning and purpose. Even as I am staying open and keeping an account, the process of dressing and being "as a woman" is changing me and my judgement.

Roberta

[Sasha Anne Meadows]

I believe what we have is a gift and we shouldn't supress it. Being this way is wonderful and we should be thankful for who we are.

[JulieC]

Natasha,

Getting out of hand? How so? If crossdressing makes you happy, then how is being happy a bad thing?

You have to define your own limits of what you're willing to accept. For some people, they accept nothing less than living full time as a woman. For some, they accept nothing more than occasionally dressing up in private when no one else can see them. For all of us, there's some level we accept.

There are external factors that affect this. Some of these are your living circumstances, what kind of town you live in, your job, your spouse, etc.

You have to determine for yourself what your level is. If you're happy to dress lots and lots, then dress lots and lots.

[Charlene Crowell]

As the general concensus, there is no such thing as dressing too much. We are so fortunate that we can drift back and forth from drab to femme. If femme is where you find most enjoyment than relish and take as much pleasure as often as you can. I know for me personally I have been dressing since early adolescence and through all my stages of life I tended to deprive myself for the fear that I was odd or wierd, purging and buying over and over. In these last few years I have come to embrace the woman I am, and with each day seek to find more and more time to spend as Charlene. If you are not hurting anyone, family or friends then go for it girl. And get yourself out into the world, it's a fabulous place for girls like us.

[Lovely Rita]

Lately I have been thinking that I may be taking this a little too far, dressing that is, so I have been trying to curb the urges. Well guess what, it aint workin noway no how!!! While I absolutley love dressing as frilly as I can, I am just worried that it is getting out of hand. I think about it almost every waking moment and Ive never been out enfemme yet. Almost every night when everyone saunters off to bed I cant help but to go downstairs to do some "research" and well...........that involves at the minimum wearing heels and hose. Most times I end up putting on one of my bras, inserts, and a skirt or a dress too. Ok, I got it out I feel better now.:love:

I find cross dressing becomes almost addictive and I have to impose balances and discipline especially when it gets in the way of doing things that need to get done. Crossdressing also transcends me to another place free of the daily worries and concerns and becomes an escape. I am working on keeping things in balance. I have to make sure I control my crossdressing and not that it controls me. What a powerful thing this is.

[JenniferR771]

No problem--I lose interest periodically--except today I needed to try on some new red patent open toe 4.5 inch heels. Just take a few minutes. Well i also needed to see how they would look with my cocktail dress, and with the long wig, the short wig and the big earrings, and my 2 skirt suits and my corset and the brown dress and which necklace looked the best. Well once started it sort of snowballs, takes hours longer than I planned.

[cemab4y]

Don't obsess too much with your "problem". If you were hurting yourself, or some other innocent person, then you would have a real problem. You need to relax, take a deep breath (metaphorically), and realize that you are just what you are. You are a person of worth and value, and if you find yourself thinking about your need then, just go ahead.

There is no shame or disgrace in seeking some counseling. You may find that there is more support and mental health, in just facing up to who you are, and learning to accept yourself.

If you find yourself putting on hose and heels every night, instead of every other night, then relax- Who in the world would put a quota on this activity?

Most of all, remember to be good to yourself.

[Rachaelb64]

Dont obsess just go with the flow it all part of finding your balance. You find it might calm down to just once a month/week or you may find you are happy doing every evening when you come home from work to relax a little :happy:

[carla smith]

Lets see, let me guess....are you just starting to explore your feminine side? If this is true...then I can relate to this. I just started crossdressing a couple years ago and the desire to keep progressing in my femininity was consuming me. Pink Fog! For me this finally leveled off when I was completely dressed and could walk into the world with confidence that everyone would see that I am a woman.....the reality of it is that I am a man dressed as a woman, and that is how most see me. This realization is what gave me a new perspective of crossdressing.

Everyone is different. For me crossdressing is a fun thing to do, I do it to have fun...when it is not fun anymore...I will do something else...I think!

Have fun out there!

"But fun doesn't just happen. You have to make it a priority in your life or it'll go missing. Life's too short to not have it." David Bach

[Jill]

I'm with you here, I know how you feel, I can relate. I knew that you would get the response that you did though, a lot of people just go with it and not give it a second thought. I like to keep it in check, I do think there is such thing as "to far" and I try very hard to keep that from happening. I've read posts written by people who are out dressed at bars on christmas day and then wonder why their family is mad and doesn't understand. And say things like, "Why can't they just accept me for who I am?" when it's not really about that. I don't want to be that person. As much as I love dressing sometimes, other times I hate being a slave to it. Sometimes I ask myself, who is in control? Me or the clothes? As much as I want it to be me and as much as I want to say it is me, it's the clothes. Sometimes when I slide into a pair of hose or a bra I can feel something inside of me screaming, "don't do it! NOO!"
I guess I just don't like the idea of something or someone in control over me. But I'm like the rest of you, I can't stop, I can't help myself.

[Andrea Nicole]

Natasha....
You really appear to have very little control over your situation, for whatever reason. If this continues, I HIGHLY recommend seeking some professional help.
Take Care,
Andi...

[SandyR]

For me (and we are all different) so long has I manage to dress a bit every week and try to dress longer and get out once or twice a month, its all good. This morning I only had about 30 minutes before work, so I dressed and practiced my walking in heels, felt good! Almost ready to step outside in heels.

Sandy

[Deanna2]

Sounds like a lot of things in life. You never really know whether you are doing things too often, too little or just about right and other people can't know for you.

Since you have asked the question, you may feel less than comfortable. However, if you want reassurance, then just do it.

[natasha]

Wow, thank you for all the kind and thoughtfull replies!! I do have it in control, in that it is not interferring(sp) with the daily routine. I do have a wife and kids that need food on the table. If I could continue to do that in a dress then things would be a little different :happy: I just find myself thinking almost constantly about how I would rather be presenting myself differently and lately it has becoming more and more prominent in my thoughts. Once again thank you to all who replied!!

[DeniseNJ]

trust me Natasha your not alone, I know I have been crossing the line with my dressing and I can't help myself either. This site and all it's great stories make you want to be a better girl. I am trying and it's working.. It is kinda scary at the same time what's next!!!!

[soccervixen]

Isn't this really part of it all - we have a strong desire to either 1) dress like women, or 2) be women. So we need to fulfill the desire, and I say do it whenever you can in your own world with its limitations. We are all different.

I do find that my desires wax and wane. For the past couple weeks, I have had no real desire to dress up other than my sleepwear and panties during the day (and sometimes mascara). Then yesterday - wham! - all I could think about was dressing, planning when I can do it next (a couple hours with an empty house this Sunday night), and what I want to wear. The impulses have been strong, but I have been managing them. Sounds like you're like us - you enjoy dressing to whatever extent you like it, and you do it as you can.

[Peggy55]

Lately I have been thinking that I may be taking this a little too far, dressing that is, so I have been trying to curb the urges. Well guess what, it aint workin noway no how!!! While I absolutley love dressing as frilly as I can, I am just worried that it is getting out of hand. I think about it almost every waking moment and Ive never been out enfemme yet. Almost every night when everyone saunters off to bed I cant help but to go downstairs to do some "research" and well...........that involves at the minimum wearing heels and hose. Most times I end up putting on one of my bras, inserts, and a skirt or a dress too. Ok, I got it out I feel better now.:love:

Natasha,

Seems your replies run the gamit from "go with the flow" to "go get help". As I have written before to others, I am in your boat! I sort of stumbled into cding last summer and I am now pretty much obsessed. For me it's a solo and, at home only endevor. I very much enjoy dressing in my various lingere and have a complusion to hit the thrift store for more at least twice a week. What troubles me is that this sounds, from most of the gals in here, not to be something you can just turn off at will. I personally do not want the mental turmoil of "coming out" or even going out of the house dressed for that matter. But my overwelming desire to dress and the way I feel when dressed has won out so far. So no real advice here only to say you are not alone.
We all have to find that degree of crossdressing we are comfortible with and for you and I it is still a struggle to find that balance. Good Luck.

Peggy :2c:

[Casey Morgan]

I just find myself thinking almost constantly about how I would rather be presenting myself differently and lately it has becoming more and more prominent in my thoughts.

Yeah, I've been there. And it drove me nuts for a while. It felt like my thoughts were starting to spin out of control. I started distracting myself when I felt my thoughts were starting to consume me. It worked. Now I think about it at what I would call a healthy level.

I know this has come up a few times. There were some great replies you might find helpful.

[Tiffy]

I have not been able to help myself for years hun. It is who you are. And if you do dress then things should level out. Best wishes hun, but to enjoy this you have to be happy in your own skin and dress.:happy:

Tiffy

[Gerri Paul]

I'm struggle my life as you are,don't know hoe to answer you but remember this is our way and our choice , you choose the way for your own self or your family,your kids if you have,I just don't how to answer you nd slao myself .
Rain.

Your right rain its our choice,By the way nice legs!! Gerri Paul