What does a Mistress expect from you?

[IMkrystal]

I have not had much success seeking out a supportive GG on the various dating web sites. After reading one of the threads posted here concerning an Adult web site, I sent a wink to a mistress:dom: who was looking for subs and slaves for training. I was not expecting much, however this person has now responded with a request to interview me, after emailing, it will be a safe environment. I do not know what I am getting myself into and would value getting others opinions. What I do know is that after searching on the INTERNET for over six months for interested GGs, GGs who know, "up front", about my interest in crossdressing, this is one of few times there seems to be an interest and not someone leading me on.:tongueout

What do you think?:2c:

[rickie121x]

:devil: Ummm. You are likely to find a whole spectrum of people in this field - the mistress business. There are some who just want a submissive male as a friend - others who are willing to take your life savings without a thought.

In the middle are some wonderful businesswomen who know how to keep things in order, financially comfortable for you, and profitable for them. Mostly, they are wonderfully kinky folk who delight in the many many wonders of the BDSM field of endeavor. The trick is finding the right one for you.

Were I looking for a mistress, I would search the local BDSM clubs and go to a few meetings. Typically you will find women who with a moral structure that will allow them to be part of a group and continue so. References are easily obtained also.

You sound as if you don't have much experience in this field. I would again recommend a local BDSM club as a source of educational experience. That is how I started about 30 years ago.... :heehee:

Hey, have a good time!

I just do females: Rickie :dom:

[MsJanessa]

There is no short easy answer to your question---each Mistress has different expectations from Her submissives---it really all depends on the relationship--I will tell you what I expect from My slavegirls and slaveboys. First of all a good submissive attitude---after we have discussed each others needs and limits and a safe word to stop the action---I don't want to hear any demands from a sub---I will respect their desires and their limits but once I discuss them, I don't want the sub to start demanding new things in the middle of a scene---the sub can use the safe word and stop the action---but with Me that means the fun is over---that's ok--what I do is not for everybody and I understand that someone may just want to experiment and then decide the BD/SM thing is not for her. But to make continual demands on your Mistress is "topping from below" and most of Us Dommes don't like it. The second thing I like is a slave who absolutly worships Me in any way I desire and demand---without getting too graphic in a G-rated website, this includes all types of submissive sexual actions---just use your imagination--I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. Finally, the last thing that I demand is that the slave maintains a respectful silence. Only answer direct questions that She puts to you and always address Her as Ma'am or Mistress or whatever title She has chosen(Lady Janessa suits Me). If you have to use the safe word, that's fine go ahead and use it---but only when the situation becomes too intensly uncomfortable for you. All the other aspects of the scene should be negotiated with your Domme---likes such as crossdressing and feminiztion, bodyworship, maid service, bondage, flogging(marks or no marks), pain stimuli and any other fantasies should be discussed before hand----also if you are seeing a pro Domme you should pay before the session start. If you want to get more into graphic specifics, send Me an e-mail.:dom:

[Emily Ann Brown]

Hun, I think the Mistress question has already been adequately answered here, so I'll address the real need ..... a supportive GG. I doubt if many GGs go looking for a CD, they just end up with one by default. However......I found mine by using the Yahoo advanced profile search and typing in asking for crossdress and my state and then reading a lot of profiles.

Good luck sis!

Emily Ann

[Marissa Mae]

One of my sinful fascinations is to be dominated... while en femme of course. Lady Janessa makes it sound very intriguing. :o

Someday I think I will further explore the world of BDSM :happy:

[MsJanessa]

One of my sinful fascinations is to be dominated... while en femme of course. Lady Janessa makes it sound very intriguing. :o

Someday I think I will further explore the world of BDSM :happy:

Let Me know if you ever get to New England, darling:dom:

[IMkrystal]

Thanks everyone for the advice. I went to the Yahoo site after reading your reply and used the keyword search tool. I never have thought about doing this before, but it is an effective way of narrowing down profiles that may be more receptive to CDs.

As for contacting this Mistress, your advices has given me caution on acting on this thought. I must feel secure that my action will not cause harm to myself. Recalling the Movie " Marathon Man" where Dustin Hoffman is strapped in a chair and being asked, "IS IT SAFE?"


Krystal

[lucy]

there is a bound and trust as i hear your doubts dont contact the mistress cause somehow you dont feel safe. but i trust my mistress and she giving me orders which are sometimes hard but i have to do what she wants and feels good for me. Follow your heart not your mind ... is it safe? i dont know only you
lucy

[Christina Nicole]

Krystal,

You probably made the better choice. If you are looking for a friend or a partner, then a paid employee is a pale comparison. Just as one can't get love from a hooker, one can't get friendship, or more than friends, from a paid "mistress."

This (http://etransgender.com/viewtopic.php?t=486) is a great article written about finding an accepting GG. Certainly the best that I've read, or at least remember reading. It makes sense and seems easy enough to implement. It's practically cook book easy!

On the other hand, if one were to go that route, based on what was posted above, you should set the rules, not the hired hand. That means that you get what you want, you get a full measure of what you described, and that you are in control at all times. It's really just play acting anyway, so it is the illusion of giving up control. It's your fantasy that counts so you can step in when you don't feel things are heading in a direction your comfortable with them going. She can indulge her fantasies on her own dime.

Finally, to insure that you get what you want, payment in full after services are rendered, which is standard for any business. I'd love if my clients would pay me in advance of my delivering my project, but that simply is not the way the world works. Remember the golden rule, "(S)he who has the gold, rules!" So it's either your way or it's the highway. There's others who can be hired.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[loki_uk]

Get onto informedconsent.co.uk, read the boards then go to a munch once you've got the lie of the land and see how you fit in

Don't expect instant miracles thouh

[MsJanessa]

Krystal,

You probably made the better choice. If you are looking for a friend or a partner, then a paid employee is a pale comparison. Just as one can't get love from a hooker, one can't get friendship, or more than friends, from a paid "mistress."

This (http://etransgender.com/viewtopic.php?t=486) is a great article written about finding an accepting GG. Certainly the best that I've read, or at least remember reading. It makes sense and seems easy enough to implement. It's practically cook book easy!

On the other hand, if one were to go that route, based on what was posted above, you should set the rules, not the hired hand. That means that you get what you want, you get a full measure of what you described, and that you are in control at all times. It's really just play acting anyway, so it is the illusion of giving up control. It's your fantasy that counts so you can step in when you don't feel things are heading in a direction your comfortable with them going. She can indulge her fantasies on her own dime.

Finally, to insure that you get what you want, payment in full after services are rendered, which is standard for any business. I'd love if my clients would pay me in advance of my delivering my project, but that simply is not the way the world works. Remember the golden rule, "(S)he who has the gold, rules!" So it's either your way or it's the highway. There's others who can be hired.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

Hi Christina---I have done some prodomme work---I always make sure I"m paid in advance(after I show up and am ready to go of course) and have never had any of My subs complain about this or refuse to do it. No Prodomme that I know of waits until after the scene to be paid---In this business it's standard practice to get the money up front---if one of My paying subs refused to do this it would be the highway for him. The reason for this is that many subs, after "release" don't feel the need to pay---and quite frankly there is no way I know of to force them. If you or any of the other T-Girls here feel the need to hire a professional you can expect to pay before services are rendered xoxox Ms Janessa---ps I totally agree with you that if you can find a compatible Domme (either GG or TG) to have a personal rather than professional reltionship with , you will be much better off---Much more satisfying to have a D/S relationship with a friend and lover than a paid pro.:dom:

[Christina Nicole]

I don't have any experience, but your point make sense.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[IMkrystal]

Krystal,

This (http://etransgender.com/viewtopic.php?t=486) is a great article written about finding an accepting GG. Certainly the best that I've read, or at least remember reading. It makes sense and seems easy enough to implement. It's practically cook book easy!

Christina this is a must read article for those of us still searching for accepting GGs. Let me know if you have any further good advice!

[Amy Hepker]

Make sure of what you are getting into. Some Mistresses want to please you, others want you to please them. Others deprive you of what you really want. Be sure before you get into it what is expected and if she will accept what you want. Be Careful.

[Sweet Jane]

Hi

mistresses scare me....

[MsJanessa]

Hi

mistresses scare me....

BOO!!!:dom:

[hotbobbie]

Stay away

[Jo Anne]

One of the possible fantasies of crossdressing is to be submissive, in whatever context that might mean to each person individually. And, one of the possble fantasies of playing D/s is to be forced to crossdress, in whole or in part.

So the topic of Mistress/submissive is appropriate and interesting, whether or not one is seeking a pro, another cd'er or just an understanding gg.

I've participated in the pro scene for many years, always as a submissive. In fact, my first experience in crossdressing was under the control of my favorite Mistress years ago. After some cd sessions with her, I began to experiment on my own.

To each his/her own...but if done carefully and within bounds, there is nothing to be afraid of.

[Karren H]

Didn't Lincoln abolish slavery?? Seems like we fought a big war over that too? Guess you didn't get the memo? Hehehe

Well I think it sounds like a bad idea... The whole subserviant thingy!! Not man enough to dress yourself up fem that you have to find some "woman" who is a control freak to do it for you? Just doesn't make any sence..

Get with the program woman!! Do I have to come over there and smack some sence into you? Hmmmmm. Then again you might enjoy that too much.... Never mind...

:D

Love Karren

[Marissa Mae]

Let Me know if you ever get to New England, darling:dom:

:hugs: