An Update from Maggie

[maggie]

As I mentioned a few months ago, I am currently separated from my wife due to the obvious issues. I have now been living for several months in my own apartment. Whether or not I am willing to call myself "transgender," l am continuing to struggle with the issue of my dual male/female personae. This is not something that most people can tolerate in a relationship. Therefore I have resumed going to my TG support group meetings (in addition to seeing a therapist) - since that's the only place where I can talk to people who understand.

Meanwhile, the anonymity of my new surroundings has allowed me the freedom to be Maggie, both privately and in public, whenever I please. So far I have succeeded in publicly presenting myself as female without any problem.

Here is a recent picture of me in my apartment.

http://members.aol.com/miscmg/redhead-apt-denim-smile-500.jpg

I have found that being Maggie relieves my anxiety and stress, thereby enabling me to focus and to work more productively. Life would be much less complicated if I could do that in my male persona (or alternatively, if the world would just accept us as we are).

Here's wishing us all a happier New Year.

Maggie

[melissaK]

Nice update, and please tell me your clutterless apratment is because you haven't lived there long enough to generate clutter. (Lie to me if you have to.:heehee: )

Glad to hear you're sticking with some support groups and your therapist. I posted "11 Guidelines for Disclosing" and one of the girls posted a reply that she thought the "in person" support far exceeded the online approach. So, she'd probably agree with your decision too.

[Mitzi]

Hi Maggie...

First of all, let me say you look very GG in your pic, little wonder you 've encountered no problems going out.

Are you happier in your new life than in your old? How about your wife?

I used to think of doing the same thing when things got a bit nasty at home, but always felt both of us would be unhappier should I do so. Plus, after so many years together, I feel very protective of her. Not the hearts and flowers romance, but just old fashion love, I guess.

Mitzi

[Tracy_Victoria]

I have found that being Maggie relieves my anxiety and stress, thereby enabling me to focus and to work more productively. Life would be much less complicated if I could do that in my male persona (or alternatively, if the world would just accept us as we are).

Maggie

I think thats a thing most people (both CDer and Partners (SO's) forget, this is a release for us, and we feel better for doing it. some need to do it daily, others weekly and some even hold out longer, be all the same we all feel better for doing it. you Certainly seem to have settled happily dispite the problems in your life at present, so I hope, and wish you all the best for 2007.

Myself I'm very lucky in that I have a partner that understands my needs, and my desire to dress (she even bought Tracy christmas presents this year), I'm just unlucky she can't bear to see me dressed enfem, however she does allow me space to be the other me, when I need to do so! it just a shame, but for all her blessing and understanding, it seems she is just unable to be in the same room, dispite knowing fully well about my dressing and to the extent I need to take it to. However I see this as only a minor glitch, in our relationship and I'm thankful that at least I can talk to her when I need to (something I need to do more of though!) and I know have her blessing to be the person I need to be with out having to hide my desires to do this, or lie to her about it.

Sadly sometimes in life we just have to admit, we just can't have it all.

good luck for 2007 Maggie!

[Lovely Rita]

You look so very happy. I am glad to see your smiling face. You are quite beautiful.

take care

[gwenrob43]

Hi Maggie,
It seems as though Maggie is becoming more of an entity in your life. Are you happy with that? If you are then let it be. If you long for a reunion with your wife, then some learning must go on. My wife knows I dress, but thinks it's more like an illness. She has never seen me dressed and doesn't want to. OK, I can live with that; but if I had to choose between her and dressing, I'd choose her.

[suzy]

Maggie,

Whatever it is that you're doing agrees with you. You certainly look happy and contented...I'm sure it isn't all roses but you appear to have things well under control.:D

[SherriePall]

Maggie -- Thanks for checking in with us. I'm glad to hear that things are going better for you now than when you said good bye. I always thought you looked so natural, but the pic posted here is just the best. That smile says it all.
Take care and keep in touch.

[Satrana]

Maggie

There was a item on Yahoo yesterday about happiness. In summary it said to be happy you must be honest with yourself, understand what is important to you, do not judge yourself or others and pursue the things in life which make you happy.

If you find yourself happier now than before you must face the fact that living with your wife may not be the best situation for you. Do not force yourself to pursue something just because you think you have to. I believe many people find having their own space is actually the optimum solution. It is possible to continue having a relationship but also maintaining two seperate residences.

Best wishes

[RobertaFermina]

Happy New Year to You, Maggie.

You are a burst of sunshine, and an inspiration.

Life looks beautiful on you !

[Sweet Jane]

Hi Maggie

you look great.....happy too. Anyway all the best and I hope 2007 is great for you.

[gennee]

You look so radiant, Maggie. I can see how relaxed you are. The support group has helped me to understand myself and other people who are transgender. Keep us posted.

Gennee


:happy: :hugs:

[ColleenCD]

Maggie,

You look happy and settled. Your smile is most genuine.

Colleen

[S. Lisa Smith]

Great to hear from you. I know things are both good and bad right now, but you know that we all wish you well, peace and happiness in 2007 and beyond!

[Kristen Kelly]

Maggie -- Thanks for checking in with us. I'm glad to hear that things are going better for you now than when you said good bye. I always thought you looked so natural, but the pic posted here is just the best. That smile says it all.
Take care and keep in touch.

:iagree:

[Sherry love]

maggie i think that you look like a very nice lady.

[linnea]

You do look happy and healthy and feminine. I'm glad that you are feeling good about yourself and what you are doing.

[Lilith Moon]

Suggestion....why not replace your avatar with your face from the pic ? You look more happy, relaxed and femme.

[Angie G]

Maggie you look great hun a real GG look :hugs:
Angie

[maggie]

Thanks, Ladies, for all of your encouragement and compliments. You have really boosted my spirits.

I'm glad you liked the smiling picture of me as Maggie. This is one of several recent photos that express the relaxation and joy I feel in being a woman. But I am also proud of pictures that show me to be a serious, tough-minded woman as well.

Here is one of several pictures I took during a long walk on New Year's weekend, which illustrates the more contemplative side of my female persona. I was pondering the needs of my female identity in the face of some important decisions I had made - which will enhance the meaning of my life as a man but which will severely restrict my freedom to be Maggie in the future.

http://members.aol.com/miscmg/redhead-12-30-06-walk3-500.jpg

This image may not look as "feminine" and joyful as the previous picture, but I think it accurately portrays the "true me" at the moment, as I consider the depths of my gender dilemma.

Hugs to all,

Maggie

[JulieC]

Maggie,

I know you're facing some tough decisions. Regardless of your decisions, know that a lot of people are standing with you in support.

-BB

[great gg]

Maggie,

I know you're facing some tough decisions. Regardless of your decisions, know that a lot of people are standing with you in support.

-BB

ditto.

[Mary Morgan]

Maggie, I wish all the best to you in the new year, and only wish you could look so pretty and happy and be with the one you love. I'll hope that it all works out and you both end up winners. Hugs, Louise

[Sally24]

Maggie, all we can do is try to be "ourselves" enough. Situtations aren't perfect so we have to try to find some middle ground, a comprimise, that allows us to express ourselves enough without disturbing whatever delicate balance we have acheived.

Here's hoping that you find that balance in your life.

Sally

[Amy Hepker]

Congrats Maggie! The way you look you should worry about being outed. You look Great! I am sorry to hear about, the seperation though.