Tonight's a good night, I think

[JulieC]

As related elsewhere, I've not gone full en-femme in public in broad daylight. I have gone for walks in the rain, at night, with a big umbrella that I can easily hide under. I've done this at first in places completely deserted, and more recently (two months ago) got up enough courage to do so in quiet neighborhoods.

The last six times...six!...that the weather has been forecasted to be raining in the late evening in my area, the rain never appeared. Frustrating as all heck. Well, assuming the weatherman doesn't stiff me yet again, tonight's supposed to be 90-100% chance of rain in the late evening. I'm hopeful...

I think tonight I may change that, and go in a place a bit more public, a bit more likely to happen across someone walking around. This forum helps give me the courage to do so, but I think I'm going to be fairly nervous. I hope all goes well. If not, I'd better learn to run in heels :)

-BB

[wabnaok]

I have only been out in public only once fully dressed. It was in a fairly busy place that was TG friendly and I was not alone. I was so nervous I could hardly breath. It turned out to be uneventful and very enjoyable. It was really alot of fun. Good luck and enjoy it!

[kaitlin]

Hi BB, I know you are a little scared to be seen out just yet but..I would be more concerned about being caught out in a storm or people looking and wondering who was out in the bad weather. I love walks in the rain in the summer time, heck I like walks in the mud too but that's a little different. All in all if you live in or are near a large city, you would be suprised how little anyone ever pays attention to you as you walk by. In this day and time most are scared to make eye contact with anyone. Just my thoughts! Kaitlin

[Rikkicn]

Dear BB,
We have to take those first tentative steps. It's so important. If you feel the need to go out then that's exactly what you should do.

Given that it's not easy. Who wants to be the brunt of finger pointing, laughing or being shamed in some terrible way? None of us want that and yet we all feel that it could happen to us. I know I did and still 9 years after those first steps I can still feel like that, it's very rare now but there anyway.

A late night drive. Walking up and down your hotel room or perhaps out in the hall. I bet that makes your heart beat really fast like it did mine.
I got bolder and bolder with each successful outing until I was ready to go to a mall on slow Tuesday morning. There was hardly anyone there but I walked by several people. It was enough to learn that no one noticed me.
WOW! what an amazing day it was to realize I could move about in the world, a slow day at the mall world, but it was a start.
What's your reason for going out? Is it to be out dressed and to see how it feels to be out or is it to find out if you can pass a little.
For me it was if I could pass a little. I was feeling the need, at 48 years old, to walk in the world and to dress and be seen as a woman. This was new for me but it was compelling enough that I had to pursue it.
Follow your desires and you can't go to far wrong.

[MJ]

Dear BB
hi there how are you . the more you get out the better it gets, over time your fear will go away,
BTW it is good to talk to you again, we had some good conversations on another forum?? now if you want to put another name to my face ...

your friend polywog :D :love:

[Helen in OK]

BB,

I can understand wanting to wait until night, but please be careful as there are individuals who prey on women, and will consider you fair game when en femme.

It is a shame that there are not any groups closer than Indianapolis. It would help to have a big sister to guide you.

Helen in OK

[sara_also]

Hi BB,
I will never forget my first time out enfem. I don't think any of us will. All I can say is to be confident of who you are, and you will find the more you go out the more comfortable you will become. You will discover that the world does not end, just as we all did. Enjoy every moment.
Sara

[Angie G]

BB ypu go girl but take care hun:hugs:
Angie

[JulieC]

Followup...

So, the weather report keeps getting "better" and "better". 90% chance of rain by 9pm. 100% by 10, and to stay 100% chance through 3am. Sounds perfect! I eagerly await as the time approaches. 7pm, and it's raining. Woohoo! I voice to my wife, "6 times in a row now the rain has vanished when it wasn't supposed to. This will FINALLY be it!". 8pm, the rain lightens up but it's still going well. By 9pm, the kids are in bed and...it has stopped raining. I pull up the weather radar, and see to my dismay that the front has passed, and every drop of rain is off to the north-east. 9:30, 10 both... I check. Same deal. :cry: Feeling under another type of 'weather' anyway, I take some Nyquil, and head off to bed. At least I got a good night's sleep. So, 7 times in a row now that the weather has refused to cooperate.

Some of you voiced concern about being safe. Certainly a valid concern, and one I've taken measures against. When I first ventured out for walks in the rain, I used a rails to trails that was open after dark, and always deserted when it was raining. Yes, I scoped it out :) I did this three times. On the third time, I began to realize just how dangerous this was. Sure, the chances of a predator lying in the weeds in the rain was *low*, but I was completely alone. When I got back from that foray, I told my wife about this and voiced that I felt it wasn't really safe. I suggested and she agreed that I should instead take these walks in neighborhoods where if I was assaulted, I could yell and scream enough to draw attention.

My town is a safe one. That's not to say violent crime doesn't happen here; it does. But, it's quite, quite rare. I've seen the police reports; less than ten rapes in the last two years. Murders happen, but 0-2 per year over the last five years. I am cautious and concerned about crime, knowing that the consequences are high, but the risk factor is low.

I feel the need to go out because dressing at home is at times like a cage. There's only one part of the house that I can be dressed in, for fear of my kids discovering me. Yes, it's nice to be dressed and be there, but it can get boring and cage like. Getting out relieves that, and also I enjoy the feeling of simply doing something 'normal'. Long ago I figured out that I'm not really interested in the adrenaline rush from people seeing me. It's just not my thing. In wanting to potentially have people see me, it's far more about just doing something normal and being accepted in the role of my outward appearance.

Though I'd be willing to attempt being en femme, in full daylight, I won't do so in my hometown or nearby. There are certain rules I've established for myself in crossdressing, and my wife agrees with them. First and foremost is protecting my family against negative consequences from crossdressing. This means not significantly risking discovery in my hometown. Walking in the rain means I can effectively prevent anyone from seeing my face, and thus prevent discovery in that manner.

Since I am not out of town frequently, the opportunity to dress en femme in public is limited to times when I can prevent significant risk of discovery and do so in my hometown. That means rainy nights. Of which of course the weatherman has been wrong 7 times in a row now :(

-BB

[JulieC]

Dear BB
hi there how are you . the more you get out the better it gets, over time your fear will go away,
BTW it is good to talk to you again, we had some good conversations on another forum?? now if you want to put another name to my face ...

your friend polywog :D :love:

*wave* Hi polywog!!!!!! :) :) :)