It's not just dressing.

[Rikkicn]

The dressing is only an out expression of who we really are. Some dress a lot and some dress much less often. Some wear only panties and some go all the way. We all have dressing in common. Many of us desire to be more feminine which is another way express who we are. Some of like to be submissive which is still another way of expressing who we really are.

There are many ways the our desire to be our real self comes out. They are countless and ever changing.

The need for self expression resides in us all. It's the brave and courageous that give it a chance to see the light of day and to someday thrive and bloom.

Our willingness to live our authentic lives is proportional to the amount of happiness and joy we can experience. Make no mistake about it, leading your life to the fullest came bring some sad and difficult times. Remember on your gender travels, that without these times the sweetness of joy and happiness is missing.

Travel well my sisters

[Kate Simmons]

I couldn't agree more. Being ourselves and being comfortable and receiving joy from that is what it is all about. How we choose to express that is what makes us individuals. Our outlook makes all the difference. We can be happy or we can be miserable. The choice is up to us really.:happy:

[linnea]

Thank you for your insightful and sensitive comments.

[kerrianna]

Thank you for your insightful and sensitive comments.

Yes, thank you :love:

[Sierra Evon]

great insite well put , I tottaly agree with ya..:happy:

[Angie G]

Rikki that was very nice thank you :hugs:
Angie

[Cheryl GG]

what a perfect way to say such an insightful tid bit.....C/

[MarinaTwelve200]

The dressing is only an out expression of who we really are. Some dress a lot and some dress much less often. Some wear only panties and some go all the way. We all have dressing in common. Many of us desire to be more feminine which is another way express who we are. Some of like to be submissive which is still another way of expressing who we really are.

There are many ways the our desire to be our real self comes out. They are countless and ever changing.



Dont forget that there are OTHER motives also for CDing for some of us. Many of us dress to be NOT who we really are. We have the desire to temporally "escape" from our real male selves. We are "Escapists" rather than "Fem siders".

Instead of GOING TO "who we really are" we escape from it. I find it interestingly odd that both types resort to the same technique of CDing to achieve completely different objectives.

Us escapists are not as vocal as fem siders, so it may seem that most CDers are of the fem sider persuasion, but I think, not counting the thrill seekers and fetishists, us escapists and fem siders may be roughly equal in number.

[Diana West]

Some dress to expand who we are. Being male all the time can be dull for some of us. Delving into our feminine side tends to "expand out horizons."
In all cases, even in those that are "escaping" we are tapping into a part of ourselves, releasing that part which we keep hidden.
You cannot be what you are not. Even the most talented of actors admit that they draw from within themselves.

Personally, I adore the variety of personalities and degrees of crossdressing that I read about here. It makes me feel unique while belonging to a group.
Did any of that make any sense?

[Kate Simmons]

It makes perfect sense to me Janis.:happy:

[Joy Carter]

Some dress to expand who we are. Being male all the time can be dull for some of us. Delving into our feminine side tends to "expand out horizons."
In all cases, even in those that are "escaping" we are tapping into a part of ourselves, releasing that part which we keep hidden.
You cannot be what you are not. Even the most talented of actors admit that they draw from within themselves.

Personally, I adore the variety of personalities and degrees of cross dressing that I read about here. It makes me feel unique while belonging to a group.
Did any of that make any sense?

I total conjure with you Janis. And Rikki You always post something that's insightful. Marina you have very valid points there. Thank you gurls.

[EmmaB GG]

Hi Marina

Hope you don't mind me jumping in on this thread, but am trying to work out how I can best support my SO with his occasional crossdressing, and something you said makes me think that I might have stumbled across how he sees it, but doesn't know it - that he's escaping from something rather than moving toward something.

He thinks men's clothes are boring, but when we went shopping the other day and I encouraged him to look at more flamboyant men's clothes, he was very happy and bought lots! And rather than wanting to be a woman, he seemed to me to not to want to be a man - and maybe dealing with it as escaping will help.

He "escapes" his thoughts of CDing by running and sometimes packs his days to exhaustion. This might just be the small light that we've been looking for to help us move forward ... thank you!!!

Ex

[Rachaelb64]

We are all just peacocks? Maybe?

Are we escaping or just trying to find our otherselves.

The Greeks believe that humans were once both male & female toghether in the same body and were very happy. This upset the gods who seperated the male and female forms and scattered them across the World. So for ever more both males and females wondered the Earth looking for thier other half thier soul mate and would not be truely happy until they have found them.

Maybe this is what we are doing lookingfor our female half (or male half).

But Crossdressers or Transvestites are nothing new from Nero to Charles d'Eon to Eddie Izzard history is full of us :D

[Satrana]

He thinks men's clothes are boring, but when we went shopping the other day and I encouraged him to look at more flamboyant men's clothes, he was very happy and bought lots! And rather than wanting to be a woman, he seemed to me to not to want to be a man - and maybe dealing with it as escaping will help.


Emma

Yes there are two forces at work here - those drawn towards femininity and those reacting against masculinity. If you reject the male role then the only other choice society offers is to accept the female role. I think many crossdressers experience a combination of the two forces at the same time but for some it is one or the other.

No matter what the reasons though, crossdressing is still being used as a means for self-expression and so I believe should be allowed to develop as freely as possible. The problems of understanding start when people including the crossdresser himself misinterpret why they are crossdressing in the first place. For example even crossdressers can spend years pondering if dressing in feminine clothes means they must be gay.

There are other factors at play beyond self-expression. Men discover that feminine clothes are fun to wear and love the tactile feeling they produce which are missing in male clothes. Also transforming yourself into someone else and learning a new set of skills can be an addictive challenge. So additional elements can be layered on top of the original meaning which only obscures why the crossdressing began in the first instance.

[MarinaTwelve200]

I agree with several of uou above----EXPANDING horizions is yet another valid CD motivation, and also sometimes there are both "rejection " and "moving to" elements in some CDing. I wanted to make a point in that there are MORE than those of us trying to express a fem side involved in CD. Ive seen the "Its who I really am" thing expressed too many times, and it can be confusing to those of us who know its Not really who we are but CD anyways.

I have to admit it took me years to figgure out WHY, or my primary motive for CDing. It was not until I was doing some unrelated work (Psychology is a big hobby of mine) concerning identity aspects and components, and discovered a big bunch of people who are into "Transformationisim" (TF) (animals and objects rather than TG) that I realized what was going on with ME and my own CDing.

I was trying to escape my MALE true self just as the transformationists were trying to escape their true HUMAN selves----with the sexual element not promenant in TF people, to confuse things , it was easy to see what was happening to THEM----and my own self--but on a different identity level---(Male/female vs Human/amimal)

[Alice Torn]

Interesting pants, I mean points Marina, and Rachel. I can see now, that there is a lot of escaping the boredom of being male, particularly, being a low income, unwanted, older bachelor. I go to singles dances, and observe. I see that average, to pretty women, are having all the fun, and a lot of bachelors, are not having much. For me, dressing up, is the escape, from the torture, of being an expendable poor , older bachelor, who is misunderstood, and solitary. However, I dress less often, now, and have been mostly just on the computer sites. I ordered a brand new blue dress, on the internet, and hope to dress once every few weeks. I know that dressing up, escaping, can take over my life, and I could drop all responsibility. I am coming to value my maleness, more, but, still l ike to escape, into Lucille, once in a while. Thanks for all the insights. Lucille

[Alice Torn]

Interesting pants, I mean points Marina, and Rachel. I can see now, that there is a lot of escaping the boredom of being male, particularly, being a low income, unwanted, older bachelor. I go to singles dances, and observe. I see that average, to pretty women, are having all the fun, and a lot of bachelors, are not having much. For me, dressing up, is the escape, from the torture, of being an expendable poor , older bachelor, who is misunderstood, and solitary. However, I dress less often, now, and have been mostly just on the computer sites. I ordered a brand new blue dress, on the internet, and hope to dress once every few weeks. I know that dressing up, escaping, can take over my life, and I could drop all responsibility. I am coming to value my maleness, more, but, still l ike to escape, into Lucille, once in a while. Thanks for all the insights. Lucille

[cemab4y]

Cross dressing means more to most of us, than just putting on clothes. Cheryl is a friend of mine. She is wonderful person, and I consider myself a better man, just knowing her. Cheryl is a friend to all mankind, and a true classic in every sense of the word. I respect and admire Cheryl, and I wish that I could be more like her. Many CDers have a good relationship with their femme side. Some even "love" their femme persona.

Being in a stable and loving marriage with my spouse, helps my relationship with Cheryl. My wife is friends with Cheryl, even calling her by name, when I am en femme.

[eleventhdr]

That is right on!

Suzy!

[Veronica E. Scott]

What you have all written is very interesting but it leaves me very confused as to where I fit in to all this. I haven't analized why I do what I do and the extent to which i do it I just like what I do it feels normal to me.I dont feel as though I am escaping form something or running towards something else,I am just trying to be me what ever that is.You girls are to heady for me. In a good way gives me lots to think about.

[Marla S]

We are all just peacocks? Maybe?

Are we escaping or just trying to find our otherselves.
Escaping in trying to find ourself.
I see the Marina's "Escapists" and "Fem siders" as roughly the same. The difference is the personal rationalization and definition. But both flee from and try to deny the male part temporarily.

It is hard for me to get how one could find it's identity in denying a major part of it.

[Amy Hepker]

Well, That is what makes the world go round, the fact that we are all different and nothing ever stays the same and nothing lasts forever. That truely is what makes the world keep going, nothing lasts forever.

[Deanna2]

Earlier Janis said 'Being male all the time can be dull for some of us'.

I agree with this, particularly as far as clothing is concerned. Male attire is so boringly dreary. I love wearing femme gear for a range of reasons, especially for the different colours and styles. However, I'm not so sure about exploring other aspects at the same time.

[Tiffy]

Well said and well written. I have been telling people this very thing for a long time. Just lacked the words to make it sound so good.


Well done hun, Tiffy