When I grow up...lol!

[pocoyo]

Ok well, when that fantastic classic Big with the marvellous Tom Hanks was on tv the other day, it struck a bit of a chord with me. It was cool that the little boy got his wish and became a man.

I love it and haven't seen it for a while. Probably since I was a little kid.
It was interesting suddenly seeing the little boy as a man. I was envious!

When I think of myself... I can't quite imagine myself when I'm "grown up"... as a female.
It's almost like I naturally feel that when I get a bit older I will have stubble and a deep voice.
When watching Big I felt like if I got to see myself as an "adult" (well I know I am one, sort of... but a proper one) like Josh does... that it would be a man.

It's a little confusing to part of me, that I won't have stubble, deep voice etc. (Well, unless I transition).
When I was about 9 and my mum told me I would get boobs too, I didn't believe her... what I feel now is a bit like that.

From my observations, some girls/young ladies are similar to young boys. Look, sound and even attitude wise.
Sometimes I feel a bit like I'm stuck being a little boy.
I guess now that I'm a young adult, this could be why my transgenderness is becoming poignant. Like... "Er.. so when IS my voice gonna get deeper? When will I get taller? When will I need to start to shave?" etc etc

Does anyone else (who's not quite certain of themselves) feel similarly?

[CaptLex]

Well, you know I refuse to grow up, but I think I can relate to what you're saying. When I was little, I used to imagine that I'd be a boy when I grew up. When that didn't happen, it was like going through the stages of grief until I finally had to accept it (sadly and reluctantly) and felt that I had no choice but live my life as a female.

Now it kind of feels like that again - either transition or grow into an older woman. And I can't picture myself being an older woman (though I have no problem picturing myself as an older man), so I know I don't want that. Somebody recently asked me if my transitioning meant I would never have to face menopause. I hadn't thought about that, but what a great feeling. :tongueout

[KrazyKat]

Thank you, pocoyo, I don't know why, but your words finally clarified some things in my home life that I just didn't get!! My partner, Karen is going to HRT and SRS. Being in the middle of the gender spectrum, it's just been hard for me to understand what is the big deal? I can see and hear the pain people go through, but I don't understand why, I could be happy if born with either genitals, you see.

Your words touched me, I get it now. I don't know how to thank you for putting the missing piece into the puzzle, but I've always got your back, bro!!:thumbsup: That's the best I can think of right now!!

[Evert]

I know what you mean... :happy:
It's like I'm 12 years old, waiting for my puberty.

Which never comes...

[pocoyo]

Lexalot - I so relate to you.
HAHA! You baby! (lmao) Nyah nyah to you too! :tongueout As you know I also refuse to be a grown up :D, (Peter Pan eat your tights off, I am eternally young and gorgeous for thousands of years like Legolas hahaha) I'd just like to be able to look like a young man rather than a little boy! :daydreaming:

KrazyKat - Wow! I've got no idea what it was that I said but I'm so glad something has clicked for you :happy:
Thanks very much, and lots of good luck to you and Karen! :hugs:

Evert - Oh yes....it is very frustrating at times isn't it? grrrrr!!!

[kerrianna]

I hope you don't mind me posting this here Pocoyo, but I just wanted to say I hope you never grow up. By that I mean I hope you always retain your boyish charm and natural curiousity. You do have a puckish spirit.

I love your new avatar! You are so rock star sexy! You look like the kind of young man my mom would have warned me about if she had known she had a girl :heehee: . I would have ignored her too. :daydreaming:

[pocoyo]

I hope you don't mind me posting this here Pocoyo, but I just wanted to say I hope you never grow up. By that I mean I hope you always retain your boyish charm and natural curiousity. You do have a puckish spirit.

I love your new avatar! You are so rock star sexy! You look like the kind of young man my mom would have warned me about if she had known she had a girl :heehee: . I would have ignored her too. :daydreaming:

Aww thank you. Of course I don't mind you posting that! Muaha! *gives Kerrianna a mischievous look* Don't worry, I don't think it's actually possible for me to grow up or be sensible for too long. Even if I was a 45 yr old dad I'd still be like a ridiculous little kid haha! lol.. rather like my own Dad is actually now I come to think of it...:heehee:
Rock star sexy?? Awww wow. That's a major compliment thank you very much :hugs: :bighug: And btw your mom would have been sensible to warn you about boys like me.... ;) ;)

[Abraxas]

Oh, I definitely feel the same way, like I'm in some perpetual pre-pubescent grey-area. I feel like I'mm never be a man-- even the word doesn't feel right because I can't imagine myself as a grown-up-- but I'd die before becoming a 'woman.'

[Amanda Jane]

When I grow up I want to be an old woman
When I grow up I want to be an old woman
Oh, an o-o-o-o-old, an old, old woman

Then I think I'm gonna find myself an old man
Then I think I'm gonna marry myself that old man
An old, an old, an old, an old, a really old man

We're gonna have a hundred and twenty babies
A hundred and five, ten, fifteen, twenty babies
Uh huh, that's what I said a hundred and twenty babies

We'll raise 'em on tiger's milk and green bananas
Mangoes and coconuts and watermelon
We're gonna give 'em that watermelon when they starts yellin'

Here's what they'll yell...

In the summer we'll sit in a field and watch the sun melt
In the winter we'll sit by a fire and watch the moon freeze
Me my old man and a hundred and twenty babies
Me my old man and a hundred and twenty babies
I said, me my old man and a hundred and twenty babies
Oh, when I grow up I want to be an old woman
When I grow up I want to be an oooooold...


michelle schocked

[Kimberley]

Happy New Year Pocs! (And you too Evert!)

I guess I have pretty much given up on the wishing side of things and now am willing to settle for whatever comes my way whether it is good or bad. I just roll with the punches. Eventually this stuff just wears you down unless you do something about it and the younger the better in my opinion.

Growing up does not require a sacrifice of having fun. Growing up does alter your thinking from being narrowly centered to a wider scope of the world around you and your place in it. I know a lot of 50 year olds going on 16 just as I know 16 year olds going on 30.

Aging is the pits in my opinion and not a glorious time of life. Things slow down and dont work like they used to both physically and mentally. Some of us manage very well while others battle every day.

Reality sucks in this one.

I can remember when I was young wishing above all else that I too would not develop into a young man that everything would just change overnight in my sleep and voila! No more male stuff to live. HA. Boy did I get fooled.

I know I have said it time and again and will continue to do so. Start your transition NOW. Do it with an RLT and if you are comfortable living 24/7 as a male then hit the medical community for the real thing starting with T. Just give yourself the chance to experience life the best way you can and on your terms, not someone else's. You will be disappointed if you live your life for others.

Well enough of the preaching.

:hugs:
Kimberley

[Evert]

Happy New Year Pocs! (And you too Evert!)

Happy New Year :hugs:

[Kate Simmons]

None of us have to "grow up" per se Poc. It's nice to always have that childish charm. I don't mind maturing though, especially with understanding and friendships in view.;) :battingeyelashes:

[Taylor105]

Hey guys....I am in the same stuck in boyhood stage. I don't think I will ever be able to look like a man. Oh well. As long as I pass as a boy I'm good. It just sucks to think that someday I will get old (if I live) and people will know I am NOT a boy. Unless I can look like a very petite short little old man. haha Taylor

[Lex]

I know what you mean, I keep waiting to get facial hair, for my body hair to get thicker, for my voice to break, all the while knowing that it won't happen. And as for boobs, I never really saw them as permanent, I've always felt that they would go away someday.
Aaaaaand I'm never going to grow up, I'm just going to be 11. And a half.

[Dasein9]

I'm 37, and still a boy trying to figure out how to be a man. All those coming-of-age stories with the harrowing experiences made me decide to take on Peter Pan and don Quixote as my patron saints. I've been saying since I was really too young to say it: There's a difference between growing and growing up.

[pocoyo]

There's a difference between growing and growing up.

Now that is a cool saying/philosophy!! :D :thumbsup:

[Dasein9]

Well, I used to get in trouble in school for reading too much. Really, that's what the teachers said. And in the kids' books, grown-ups were always the enemy, so I've never wanted to be one.

Other themes from children's literature: When I was a kid, the coming-of-age stories were almost always about boys, and only very rarely about girls. Even when they were about girls, they were about a different kind of growing up. More acceptance of the girl's lot in life than any sort of challenge and overcoming.

And... did you ever notice that in kids' books, characters who are described as having eyes that are too close together are always untrustworthy? Therefore, I make sure to always wear glasses, since they pull the eyes apart a bit, visually.

[pocoyo]

Well, I used to get in trouble in school for reading too much. Really, that's what the teachers said. And in the kids' books, grown-ups were always the enemy, so I've never wanted to be one.

That is one dumbass teacher... sounds like the opposite of teaching!
Hah yeah... grown ups stink lol!
The kind of grown-up I don't like, is one of those that have forgotten what it's like to be a kid, how to have fun and let themselves go. They think it's "wrong" to be silly, and have forgotten the magic and mystery of life. They seem to just try to be "acceptable" to society and stuff. How very very boring and unfun. Bleh :yawn:


Other themes from children's literature: When I was a kid, the coming-of-age stories were almost always about boys, and only very rarely about girls. Even when they were about girls, they were about a different kind of growing up. More acceptance of the girl's lot in life than any sort of challenge and overcoming.
Yeah and lots of the time boys seem so much "cooler" than girls. Who'd want to be like a pretty little quaint maid or demure young lady when you can be out battling, riding horses, climbing trees, getting grubby, spying on people etc...
Some girls in stories get to do cool things though...


And... did you ever notice that in kids' books, characters who are described as having eyes that are too close together are always untrustworthy? Therefore, I make sure to always wear glasses, since they pull the eyes apart a bit, visually.

Haha! I can't actually say as I've noticed that in books, but I have heard someone say it once. Its so untrue. There are many lovely, kind and handsome men with fairly close together eyes and I have a friend who has a narrow face and his eyes seem very close together but he is the lovliest person you could meet!

[Dasein9]

Yeh, it was several teachers who said that... I got to see my so-called permanent record once, and my reading "too much" was a constant theme.

I felt so betrayed by the girls in books as a kid that for a long time, I wouldn't read books about girls or by women. I only picked up Jane Austen this summer.

And as for being trustworthy or not, I guess one shouldn't take stereotypes at face value anyway. (Pardon the pun.) After all, not all redheads have short tempers, and plenty of blondes and brunettes do. But since my eyes are close, I do feel more comfortable with the glasses. Besides, contacts fall out too easily. And, even better, people listen to people who wear glasses. Since I teach, that's a plus.