I'm Not Just a Man . . . I'm a Transman

[CaptLex]

Oh, while I'm at it... why don't I just give a few tips on how to be a female?? (As I'm surely qualified as I have lived some parts of my life as a GG). Argh...you know what? I can't even bring myself to do that because it is so insulting and mean and would be wrong. Strange how MTF's tell us "how to be men" often, without a second thought.
I'm not just a man . . . I'm a transman. It's similar, but not the same. Inspired by Purser Pocoyo's recent rant (specifically, the part about getting unsolicited tips on being or acting like a "real" man - see the "What I like about being a guy" thread), I want to point out what some of these differences can be.

First, my disclaimer: nothing I'm posting here is carved in stone (and that's the point), nor should any of it be taken as an indication that all FtMs think and feel this way (and that's also the point), especially since not all FtMs identify as transmen. I don't think there is any one particular way to be a man (or woman), and I know there isn't any one particular way to be a transman. So here goes . . .

1. Transmen can participate in what some traditionalists consider "female" activities such as cooking, sewing, knitting, childcare and watching "chick flicks" (I hate that term), but that doesn't mean we don't also like to participate in any variety of traditionally "male" activities such as sports, cars, male-bonding play, etc. (and swashbuckling! :heehee:)

2. Transmen can, and do, feel and cry. But they may also make/laugh at dirty jokes and watch porn.

3. Transmen don't have to walk like John Wayne - they can be as swishy and limp-wristed as they want, if they want.

4. Transmen don't have to wear huge watches and rings - they can wear any and all type of jewelry, including their grandmother's diamond ring.

5. Transmen don't have to limit their wardrobe to dark or plain colors and straight lines. They can wear colorful shirts, ties and socks, cartoon boxers and ruffles, if that's what they like. By the way, our cartoon or superhero boxers are not an indication that we're girly - just juvenile.

6. Transmen hairstyles are as varied as we are: from bald to short to mohawk-style to . . . well, you get the idea. Similarly, they can choose to use cosmetics or not, get manicures or not, shave their legs, armpits and faces or not, etc.

7. Transmen can be attracted to women, men or both (and probably neither, though I haven't heard it yet).

And last but certainly not least . . .

8. A transman may not be a typical man, but he's also not "a GG in pants".

Thanks for indulging me. Did I leave any out? :shades:

[cathie]

Ok I can live with that ideal

[Felix]

Here here Lex well said !!!!! xx Felix :hugs:

[Sandra]

Straight and to the point. :)

[Kate Simmons]

No problems here my dear Captain. Never was and never will be. You know how much I hate stereotyping anyway. Yeah, I know we all do it to some extent since we live in such a wacky world but I usually take all that with a grain of salt and consider the source. I do now and always will accept everyone for whoever they are, everything else notwithstanding. Some of the finest people I have ever known are right here on this Forum and I trust them implicitly. That's how much confidence I have in my friends and how much I appreciate who they are.:happy:

[pocoyo]

Haha, love it. That was funny!

The way I see it though... that's just being a MAN... any man should have those rights.

Although those points rock and are so true (he's not "a GG in pants".)

I am now worried that (some) MTF's will misunderstand and maybe treat us with less respect, or see us in the wrong way, as part of it is saying we're not men.

To me a transman IS a man... (unless he deems his particular self otherwise). (Which I know you did say in your intro... that this thread shouldn't be taken as gospel about all transmen).

A transman (in your being-different-to-regular-men sense of the word), does sound like a marvellous, beautiful creature though...

I just know that a lot of transmen don't feel like a "transman" but just a regular ol' "man". So it freaks me out that now some MTF's will think "Oh right... so they don't even see themselves as "men"... okay..."

But at the end of the day... it shouldn't really matter what people think!

[bi_weird]

7. Transmen can be attracted to women, men or both (and probably neither, though I haven't heard it yet).

Hrm I know where to look for that fourth category, and this is an interesting idea. (A year before I realized I was bi a very close friend realized she was asexual, and I've been highly involved in that since) I'll get back to you if I find transgendered asexuals.

[CaptLex]

I am now worried that (some) MTF's will misunderstand and maybe treat us with less respect, or see us in the wrong way, as part of it is saying we're not men.

To me a transman IS a man... (unless he deems his particular self otherwise). (Which I know you did say in your intro... that this thread shouldn't be taken as gospel about all transmen). . . .

I just know that a lot of transmen don't feel like a "transman" but just a regular ol' "man". So it freaks me out that now some MTF's will think "Oh right... so they don't even see themselves as "men"... okay..."
You're right (so young yet so wise) . . . I hadn't thought of it that way. Let me clarify then: I see transmen as a type of men, not something completely separate and different (like a subset). Just as I see gay transmen as a type of gay men.

Does that help or make it worse? :idontknow:

[CaptLex]

Hrm I know where to look for that fourth category, and this is an interesting idea. (A year before I realized I was bi a very close friend realized she was asexual, and I've been highly involved in that since) I'll get back to you if I find transgendered asexuals.

Well I've known TGs that are not interested in sex, but still find women or men or both attractive - so I guess the attraction is still there, even if the drive isn't. But I don't think I've met one that wasn't attracted to anyone yet. But, yeah, if you hear of one, please let me know.

[pocoyo]

You're right (so young yet so wise) . . . I hadn't thought of it that way. Let me clarify then: I see transmen as a type of men, not something completely separate and different (like a subset). Just as I see gay transmen as a type of gay men.

Does that help or make it worse? :idontknow:

Hehe :heehee: wise.. as if!

That definitely makes it better!! That is such a cool way of putting it, yaaay!

.. .So you see a transman as a man... just a particular type of man. Coo-el!

[Robin Leigh]

I think you left a point out CaptLex...

Transmen don't abuse or humiliate other people for not conforming to stereotypical gender models.

Robin

[Evert]

Well I've known TGs that are not interested in sex, but still find women or men or both attractive - so I guess the attraction is still there, even if the drive isn't. But I don't think I've met one that wasn't attracted to anyone yet. But, yeah, if you hear of one, please let me know.

I'm one of your first category. :heehee: A kiss, okay... A little more than a kiss, maybe... Sex, I have a really nice single neighbour, try it there. :heehee:

I also know someone from your second category, however he isn't TG.. :(

[Kate Simmons]

I think you left a point out CaptLex...

Transmen don't abuse or humiliate other people for not conforming to stereotypical gender models.

RobinI agree Robin, that's a good lesson for all of us. One reason I appreciate all these guys so much.:happy:

[CaptLex]

Hehe :heehee: wise.. as if!

That definitely makes it better!! That is such a cool way of putting it, yaaay!

.. .So you see a transman as a man... just a particular type of man. Coo-el!

Maybe I should change the title of the thread to "I'm Not Just a Man . . . I'm a Transman". :p

[Kieron Andrew]

Maybe I should change the title of the thread to "I'm Not Just a Man . . . I'm a Transman". :p
yup!!!

[pocoyo]

Oooh yes yes!

[Kieron Andrew]

Oooh yes yes!
:roflmao: not too excited then

[CaptLex]

Okay, it's done - and I tweaked the first post a little too. I hope that helps clear things up.

One thing I wanted to add . . . we all have different styles and tastes, but for some reason (at least here in NY) it seems that all FtMs own at least one plaid shirt. It's like the classic uniform we all have to identify us as "part of the club". :heehee: Has anyone else noticed that where they live?

[Kieron Andrew]

Okay, it's done - and I tweaked the first post a little too. I hope that helps clear things up.

One thing I wanted to add . . . we all have different styles and tastes, but for some reason (at least here in NY) it seems that all FtMs own at least one plaid shirt. It's like the classic uniform we all have to identify us as "part of the club". :heehee: Has anyone else noticed that where they live?
i dont know about plaid shirts, but i do have EXACTLY the same blue one as Ryan lol

[CaptLex]

i dont know about plaid shirts, but i do have EXACTLY the same blue one as Ryan lol
Must be the FtM "uniform" in your neck of the woods. :D

[Kieron Andrew]

Must be the FtM "uniform" in your neck of the woods. :D
just got to remember not to wear it when i know he's gonna be around just in case he does too.....kinda like when women wear the same frock!

[bi_weird]

One thing I wanted to add . . . we all have different styles and tastes, but for some reason (at least here in NY) it seems that all FtMs own at least one plaid shirt.

Hah that's funny. The first shirt I bought because I wanted to look like a guy was plaid.

[Evert]

Maybe I'm just a stupid Dutch.... BUT WHAT IS A PLAID SHIRT!? :straightface:

[Kieron Andrew]

Maybe I'm just a stupid Dutch.... BUT WHAT IS A PLAID SHIRT!? :straightface:
checked shirt......lumberjack style

[CaptLex]

Maybe I'm just a stupid Dutch.... BUT WHAT IS A PLAID SHIRT!? :straightface:
You're not stupid, hon . . . don't ever say that. This is a plaid shirt (don't know what you call them over there):

39348

I sometimes forget that some things have different names in other countries. When I do, just remind me and I'll explain. And if I'm ever lost (as I often am), I expect you guys to inform me. That's the best part about an international forum - we learn from each other.

[Dasein9]

There's a good reason for that -- the busier pattern fools the eye and makes any bulges in the chest less noticable.

I have at least 5 plaid shirts.

[pocoyo]

I have them too hehe. Just because it is seen as male and helps me feel and look more male sometimes!
I do rather love shirts.
Someone did say to me when I was about 15 that my favourite shirt was "dykey" though.... I wasn't too impressed by that as 1) I don't fancy females and 2) I was wearing it to be a boy not a girl!
lol! Typical!


[Edit: and as Dasein said... the patterns help detract from the bulges!]