Why have I always wanted to be a female?

[mikala]

I reflected back over a few decades of life and noted that I have always wanted to be a female.....

It started with noticing the girls were cute, wore cute clothes, had cute behaviour. As a youngster I always admired tights and cute little shoes. Now I love bras and hose and heels. It is not all sexual, although that can't be reled out. I just feel so great wrapped in cool looking snug fitting female clothes. The personia of "being" female is just so desirable.

A while back I lost a lot a weight, got my eyelids done, hair removal on my back, chest, and the heavy stuff on my arms. I love shaved legs with hot hose and pumps.... of course a nice (padded) bra works great too. I am very passable after loosing the weight (with makeup of course).... so I can go out to restuarants, the mall, etc with no problems..... I just love the female side. Although the wife doesn't like me going out, she is fine with it all in the bedroom.

The best to all,

Mikala

[Katelyn]

I feel just like you. There's just something about wabting to feel pretty. I don't know why, but I do know you're not alone. maybe gender is more complicated than we think.

[rocval2001]

I feel the same - there is something about panties and a bra that make me feel special and right some how. Panty hose make my legs look great and There is something about a dress of skirt - I wish I could do it all the time.

[Billie2day]

If I hear some who good at singing I too would like to sing like them, some us try (Can Idol). we would all like to golf like the "Tiger." Some of us try. And I too see a pretty girl and would like to be like her. And I try, by dressing like her, using makeup to look like her,and adopt her mannerisms, to be more like her. But as hard as I try even if I were pretty which I'm not,young like her. Again which I'm not. I can not be her .I am not female. I take solace in this fact and try to to the best to be like her and that is why I crossdress. Billie

[Joy Carter]

It's not about the clothes. It's being able to love my self. Something I have never been able to do while in J-- mode. I don't know. Maybe I should be asking the same question in the TS forum.

[RobertaFermina]

I lost a lot of weight as well - I still wonder who that handsome stranger in the mirror is - and this has opened up my self-permission to explore sensual dress as a CD, as well as attractive Menswear. I feel your Joy!

I had all those envying feelings about girls when I was preteen, and early in puberty. Testosterone fixed that. I think that the lessening of parenting stress, and the decrease in testosterone (I'm 48) is bringing some of that back.

Now that I read your posting, it comes back to me a little more. I remember images of girls and women in soft and tight fitting clothing - trapped in a satin, silken, and velvet sheathing and drapery. The feelings of vulnerability and smooth textures, the freedom to be flirty or coy or brightly exuberant...something that boys were never permitted or lost as puberty progressed.

Sometimes I feel like my long repressed "golden boy" spirit is at the heart of my fascination with the feminine. My feminine-androgynous little boy who loved to imagine receiving the attention, affection, and sensual permission granted to girls and women.

That said, Let's Play ! :tongueout

:<3: Roberta :rose:

[Lanore]

I started out doing what felt good to me with no labels attatched. As I grew up, I had a lot of female feelings inside. Rather than fight them, I just went with the feelings. I'm glad I didn't surpress the female side of me. Now, I'm right where I always wanted to be. I believe by not fighting those feelings, they just took over.

Reading some of the postings, bring back old memories of my transformation. I'm just glad they"re old memories and I accept who I am.

Lanore