Gay and CD

[dds]

I am new to the forum, so ... Hi! I am wondering if there are others out there who are gay and who also CD. In a way, I feel a bit like a minority within a minority -- I'm not quite like the other CDs who are straight and I'm not quite like other gay men who do not dress up. I am in a long-range relationship and my SO is seemingly accepting although we have had some rough spots over the whole CD thing. He is the only one who really knows that I like to CD, and I would really like to go to a support meeting or something. However, working up the courage is difficult and I wish that my SO did not find the whole idea so ridiculous. Just wondering if there are others out there in the same situation. (and, of course, for those who are not gay: I would love to get any advice)
Thanks!

[amanda barber]

Sadly here really isn't alot of support for gay crossdressers.
www.glaad.org or www.joeylee.com/resources.html might be able to point you towards something.

[Jesse69]

If you're gay & cd aren't there a lot of tranny chasers on the web? I've had 2 pm's but wasn't into that!

[Marla S]

Welcome to the forum.

Minority of a minority is probably true. Nevertheless make yourself comfortable here. Your input will be very welcome.

As for non accepting SOs, well, not many others than crossdressers appreciate crossdressing. The reasons might be a bit different for GMs and GGs, but our problems are the same.

[tvbeckytv]

If you're gay & cd aren't there a lot of tranny chasers on the web? I've had 2 pm's but wasn't into that!

the question wasnt about getting sex, it was about a relationship issue with crossdressing.
dds, you are exactly as you feel, a minority within a minority. unfortunately minorities tend to be just as blinkered and intolerent of sub cultures as the greater society is of them.
i think you can forget the sexuality side of it and view it as any other relationship problem associated with crossdressing. how important a part of your life is crossdressing...if your partner finds it ridiculas, then you probably will just have to make a choice, just as any straight tranny would.

[Brenda Love]

I myself am not a gay CD but our problems sound similar.I love my wife and am willing to keep my crossdressing in the closet if it makes her unhappy or less atracted to me.:(

Hugs
Brenda

[RobertaFermina]

Welcome,

Whenever something us up for you, where being Gay is a key factor, I will probably have to expand my mind toward seeing things your way in order to support you.

That may be a little new, or startling....but it shouldn't hurt.

I hope you find what you need.

Roberta

[Joyciecd]

dds, I am bi, unattached, with several guy boyfriends that I talk about here on the various threads. Most CD's here claim to be hetro, and in married relationships with GG's. Most seem to also be closeted. There are a couple that seem to be 'single' also, but mostly hetro too. I frankly don't find much support here, but still look in and contribute once in a while, like I am doing now. My BF's are all OK with my CDing, and seem to find it very stimulating. In fact, I never see them en drab since I am CD @ 99% of the time. I do have a couple GG friends too who are OK with my CDing, and we have lots of good femmy times together.

[Sharon]

I frankly don't find much support here, but still look in and contribute once in a while, like I am doing now.

What sort of support are you looking for?



I am new to the forum, so ... Hi! I am wondering if there are others out there who are gay and who also CD. In a way, I feel a bit like a minority within a minority -- I'm not quite like the other CDs who are straight and I'm not quite like other gay men who do not dress up. I am in a long-range relationship and my SO is seemingly accepting although we have had some rough spots over the whole CD thing. He is the only one who really knows that I like to CD, and I would really like to go to a support meeting or something. However, working up the courage is difficult and I wish that my SO did not find the whole idea so ridiculous. Just wondering if there are others out there in the same situation. (and, of course, for those who are not gay: I would love to get any advice)
Thanks!

There are many gay members here, some quite open about it and some not so much. Hetero members vastly outnumber the gay membership, but there's a place here for all of us.

[Kate Simmons]

Wow DDS, we continually find new people with different situations. That's what I like about this site. Most folks are tolerant of us for who we are. I know where you are coming from though. A lot of my friends are gay and they love me for who I am but what I do as a CD is not their personal "cup of tea" and they really cannot understand why I want to dress like a woman. I find it encouraging that you seem to have kind of unique situation where you want to go to support meetings and your SO is a man who doesn't like the idea of that or your CDing to begin with. You are more than welcome here my friend for support and advice and we may learn something from you as well about your situation. Just bear in mind though that as I said your situation is unique and the majority here won't understand it. I for one am more than happy to help you become the "woman" you want to be, just put the questions out there and we will all do our best to help. Nice to meet you my friend.:happy: Ericka

[Bethanygirl]

Give you boyfriend time, he has to realise that it is important to you, and that it is just the way you are. If he loves you, it will become something he not only tolerates, but encourages you to do. The reasons this happens are varied, but mostly it is because he will become aware of your pain and wish you not to have it. If he loves you, you can wait for his approval.
Good luck honey...
:love:

[cemab4y]

Dear DD, Welcome aboard. While it is true that most CDs (Myself included) are 100% hetero, that does not mean that you will not be accepted here. You will probably find more support here, than you imagine. As far as the technical side of the hobby (make-up, breast forms,etc) this information and the associated discussions are neutral with respect to your sexual orientation.

I wish you good luck in your journey.

[Rachel Morley]

I am wondering if there are others out there who are gay and who also CD.
Out all the gay people I have met and befriended in my life, (which over the years is quite a few) I personally have found that actually very few of them were crossdressers or liked feeling feminine. DQs are different, they're in a class of their own that some of us can only aspire to! (that's to say from a feminine presentation point of view in my case) :D

[Kimberley]

Yes and yes.

There are gays here. Anyway, one has nothing to do with the other. Sexuality and gender are distinctly different realms. Some people will try to equate them but that is their issue and it is misguided. They wont really find support here because they cant separate the two and try to make them interdependent. When they can there is plenty of support on both sides of the coin.

Best of luck.

:hugs:
Kimberley

[heelme]

I read lots of "SO" statements in threads on the forum. That, to me, is about as neutral as you can get. To me, "SO" is the person of interest in your life and does not mean man, woman, CD or anything that specific. You describe a relationship issue and the only outstanding difference is organic plumbing of the partners. But deal. You want to crossdress and your "SO" is not comfortable with it. That statement holds true for a large number of people that post here. I just don't understand, nor accept, the thought process that says "I may be gay, but at least I'm not a transvestite" or "I may be a classy transgendered lady, but at least I'm not a flaming drag queen". What a load of manure!

Sorry, just couldn't stop my fingers. They can be quite opinionated at times :).

Your SO, like many, many SOs may simply need more time to adjust to what is probably a large change in the relationship. As has been stated here so many times, slow and steady wins the race. Don't expect acceptance and toleration over night. In my case, it's taken years for my wife to move from tolerance, to acceptance and she will be the first to say she still is not totally comfortable. We both know that can take time and my job is to respect that and NOT push. Best wishes with your relationship and it's growth. I've a feeling you two can work through this bump with patience and communication. Keep us up on progress.

[sterling12]

Hi DD:

Sometimes one question leads to a different question, or more questions.

Ask yourself this not so simple question: "If I fell in love with a straight man and he accepted me as a woman, would I be gay or straight or Bi?" If your answer is, "Yes, I could fall for a straight man", probably you are just thinking as The Woman Within. Now the question becomes, "Am I transsexual?" If that's the case, then your not gay, you are attracted to the opposite sex. At the very least, The question would be: "Could I be Bi?"

See, it gets complex, doesn't it?

So does it pay to even rack your brain with this sort of question? You want to go to a Support Group, not necessary to bring your partner. Maybe you will find the answers your looking for, right there in That Group. I will assume you want to be an Adult Woman, go by yourself.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Brianna Lovely]

Welcome to the forum.
I'm a "family" member too and although, at times, I've felt that there was some "bashing" going on, in general, this is a supportive and helpful forum.

I've, only recently, gone from dressing at home, to walking out into the public world. And I go out, dressed, whether to a "straight" or "gay" place, and either people accept me, or they don't, that's their problem.

As far as a SO goes, I don't have one, but, I would want someone who loved me, as I am, whatever that may be, giggle.

So DDS, do a lot of reading of the posts here, and you'll learn a lot, about others and about yourself.

And, Jesse, I think what you said, was hurtful.

"Jesse69 If you're gay & cd aren't there a lot of tranny chasers on the web?"

[dds]

What sort of support are you looking for?

Thanks, everyone, for all your responses. I guess the kind of support I am looking for is to help me understand the CD side of my life more. In my mind, being gay and being CD are 2 completely different things. I am perfectfly comfortable being gay and have been "out" for 25 years. But being CD is a very private part of my life that I don't understand very well, my SO really doesn't understand, and most of my gay friends couldn't relate to. I think I have a lot in common with those on this forum who have SOs and are in a long, committed relationship. I guess I need support and help dealing with that end of things, too. Ultimately, I'd like to feel good about all parts of my life. Thanks again for all the advice.

[Carroll]

Just wondering if there are others out there in the same situation. (and, of course, for those who are not gay: I would love to get any advice)
Thanks!

A simple answer to your question; Yes. lets face it, your situation is not unlike most everybody here. You are a dude that likes to wear womens clothing and you have an SO that seems to accept you. The ONLY difference is your SO has exterior plumbing. Most uninformed people think that a cross dresser is gay, so you are one up on others because you are. Women don't want to be with a cross dressing man for fear that they might be a lesbian. Gay men don't want to be around a cross dressing gay for fear they might be straight. So in the simplest way to put it, you situation is really no different than anybody else here.

Carroll

[Penny]

Sexual orientation has little to do with crossdressing; if you have the prettty bug, you have it. I can see your point about a relationship. Most here are hetero including myself. Unlike us though, your relationship is with a guy.
As a guy, I can understand how your partner feels. And while it is very similar
to how a GG feels It does have an added wrinkle and that is "the guy thing"
You two must find common ground with boundries acceptable to both. He does have to accept this as part of you. He doesn't have to participate, see you dressed or suppost it but does have to accept it.
Many women here find pleasure in assisting the CD's in the efforts. He will not. He does not know how to look like woman. He will not go shopping with
you for pretty things because of "the guy thing" syndrome.
If you two really love each other, it can work out. Time, understanding and
tollorance will be needed.

:hugs:


Penny

[Raychel]

As everyone else has said, being gay has nothing to do with crossdressing. I personally am happy for anyone that has found a partner that they are happy with, even if that partner is the same sex. So if you are happy that is all that counts.

So if you are a crossdresser, you are welcome here.

Fair warning though, If you try to grab my butt there will be issues then.
:heehee: :heehee: :heehee:

[Angela E.]

Nothing really to add,the other girls seem to have covered it pretty well.I`m TS and Bi if that helps.Just want to let you know you are not alone.:hugs: Angela.:bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :worship: :worship: :worship: :doll:

[Billie1]

dds:
Gender preferences aside, I feel that it all comes down to the same question; Acceptance vs. rejection. Most of us here are wrestling with the same issue, to one degree or another. Patience, understanding and communication are all important pieces to the puzzle. I wish you the best of luck, and remember, if it were easy, anybody could do it!:D

[Sara Kat]

I am wondering if there are others out there who are gay and who also CD. In a way, I feel a bit like a minority within a minority -- I'm not quite like the other CDs who are straight and I'm not quite like other gay men who do not dress up.
Listen to me. There are plenty of other CDs and TGs out there who like men. I, myself am one of them. So don't you think that you're alone with this. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's a lot of fun and I say if it makes you happy then just do it. I've been reading these forums for quite awhile and I've found that this place probably isn't the best for support with that kind of thing. A lot of people here seem too look down on those of us who like guys.

[MsJanessa]

I am new to the forum, so ... Hi! I am wondering if there are others out there who are gay and who also CD. In a way, I feel a bit like a minority within a minority -- I'm not quite like the other CDs who are straight and I'm not quite like other gay men who do not dress up. I am in a long-range relationship and my SO is seemingly accepting although we have had some rough spots over the whole CD thing. He is the only one who really knows that I like to CD, and I would really like to go to a support meeting or something. However, working up the courage is difficult and I wish that my SO did not find the whole idea so ridiculous. Just wondering if there are others out there in the same situation. (and, of course, for those who are not gay: I would love to get any advice)
Thanks!

Hi darling---I'm bi and CD--and I know what you are going through---most of the "straight" CDs in this forum don't realize it but CDs are not really accepted in the gay world any more than the straight one---many times We are looked down upon as second class---although I do go out to gay bars dressed I have had some negative comments by people in the bars(although not as many as I may have had in straight bars) However I've also had lots of positive remarks and many propositions(some of which I've accepted)---goodluck with your BF---and you should go to a support group--there's no reason why you shouldn't go out in public--if he can't handle that then dump him and find a cuter more accepting guy---you don't need the aggravation.