Cute is still cute.

[Julie York]

Inspired by Tamara's thread about frilly socks and Wendy Me's neat reply about CDs not caring about 'appropriate' categories of clothing, I thought I'd write this post. It might help some GGs get a handle on the strange CD mindset.


We all have something we like or dislike, and have no way of justifying why that is. All we know is that it sets off a response that is pleasurable or not. Simply saying that chocolate 'tastes nice' does not explain anything. How do you KNOW it is nice? What lead you to that conclusion?

Women and small girls (yes I know it is a generalisation!) have a genetically inbuilt Cute-ometer. They can't explain why, but they like frills, they like pink, they like ribbons, they like lace. Something about those things give them an inner pleasure. However, as they grow older they are conditioned to develope their taste so that it expresses itself in a more mature field of 'cuteness'. Petticoats are o.k. in a 'fun' context. Frills are o.k. in small amounts on a blouse etc. Lace is o.k. on sexy stockings.

The unadulterated pleasure derived from 'cute' things, has been subdued, in order to express a more mature outlook. And yet it still lurks beneath the surface. Think of the genuine fun and joy a grown woman gets from seeing a little girl in a cute dress, or a bride done out in lace and frills? You can see the pleasure in their faces.

Now imagine a small boy with an equally honed Cute-ometer, through no fault or choice of his own. He was born with it. He is drawn to the same frills and lace and party dresses and ribbons and curls......but is denied them. He is steered carefully away from them because they aren't allowed.

And so as a grown crossdresser, there was no maturing of those senses....there was no rite of passage. So to a CD cute is cute is cute. It may be "innapropriate" for a grown crossdresser to wear a little party dress and frilly socks but the reason they want to is because they are STILL cute things! If they weren't then girls wouldn't wear them.

The reason CDs want to wear outragiously short skirts and outlandish high heels is because they never went through that stage of "You can't go out looking like that!". Because it is usually a secret! Because it is done for entertainment without anyone to judge.

And BECAUSE it is done for pure entertainment...there is no censoring of what is appropriate because, after all, who is going to see you, judge you, or tell you it isn't right to wear this or that? If it's cute it's cute! If it's sexy it's sexy!

It's actually an honest and pure expression of sensory pleasure removed from the maturing process women go through when they abandon 'cute' things in order to express a more grown-up image. Your average CD has the mentality of an 11 year old girl when it comes to clothes. 'Cute' is so cutesy it is outragious. Their idea of 'Sexy' is so over the top it often comes across as a parody.

It is only when when someone wishes to present themselves to others, or get the approval of their wife etc, that they censor these unadulterated tastes and tone it down so that they can "go out looking like that" even if it is in their own bedroom....or a photo on the forum.



(This does not apply to TS....who apply their own censor because they are dressing for a different reason. )


Anyway, that's how I see it.

[Kahlan51]

I can't wait to show this to my wife I haven't been able to express this as well as I would like and you have expressed clearly. Thanks Kahlan

[Andrea_girl]

I Agree 100 % you`ve nailed it on the head.

I wish i had the chance to learn the lessons a GG learns when growing up.

I love all the frills and lace

Andrea

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Julie

This may just be the best post you have witten that I have seen :2c:

[susants]

wow you know me so well and i don't think we have ever met but i think i'm 12 going on 53
now that i started going out i'm learning very quickly just watching women my age group

[Julie York]

Hi Julie

This may just be the best post you have witten that I have seen :2c:

Thank you. My medication must have kicked in.:D

[Kate Simmons]

Very well put Julie. Everyone has their own level of "cuteness". I'd be hard pressed indeed to judge someone else as nutty because they like wearing schoolgirl outfits or sexy lingerie or anything else. Just what the hell is it about chocolate anyway? The point is I accept everyone for who they are regardless of whether it's my own personal "cup of tea" or not.
My "cute-o-meter" is saying I am "cute" for my personality. Works for me, anyway.:happy:

[Marla S]

Hi Julie

This may just be the best post you have witten that I have seen :2c:
I absolutely agree.

Well said Julie :thumbsup:

[Amy Hepker]

Julie,
I agree with you, we are left in a time when we were told NO! This is usally where we pickup at when we are finally able to dress in those Items we were told were NOT for US! I have found that after we do get to dress, we do tend to grow older with our Femine side and eventually we start to wear clothing that is more appropriate for an older age. But even at that, we are still way behind what would we should be and well behind our Male age. I am 50 and my Female side is only about 30-35.

[Daintre]

Wow Julie, you are bang on, I do find myself drawn to lacy frilly clothes. I have a dress that is a pouffy satiny one and would be a little girl's dream dress. I know that wearing this dress can only be done in private, but the joy it brings is fantastic.

Julie, this is by far one of the best posts you have submitted. thank you :happy:

[Joy Carter]

It's a good piece Julie. You do so well in writing things. Myself I have

never felt the age regression thing. My dressing has been pretty much

age appropriate. Not that I'm disputing you, I see it just as an "each to her own" thing.:2c:

[CharleneCD]

100% dead on Julie.

[Sedona]

Very profound!

Julie, whenever you want to have these revelations is fine by me.

Good stuff, and so true,

[MJ]

hi all
i was not going to reply to this but as a (ts ) you are right, please don't forget in order to become a (ts ) all of us go through the cross dressing experience so your comment :- (This does not apply to TS....who apply their own censor because they are dressing for a different reason.
is not totally true i CD for years before i was caught and then after wards i went to my doctor and the rest is history.so yes i always have felt i should have been born a woman , but playing the guy role robed me of the cute years , so even (ts) may have the sometime dress sense of a 10 year old but i never had the chance to wear cloths like that until now , even short skirts and very high heels , i maybe 46 but there are times i just like to be 26 even if it's in my own apartment i would never go out like that but thats just me. now i have a lot of catch up learning to do and without a gg in my life to help me i am afraid it's trial and error ...
hugs Marissa

[Barb Valentine]

Thank you. My medication must have kicked in.:D

I thought so :D

But every well written

[Sandra]

Well Julie it's made me think.

Glad the medication has kicked in :D

[Cassy11]

Julie I think you have ansered the question of why do we wear what we wear.

GG's have had that growing up and maturing experience also they have had the benefit of a mentor (mom) assisting them through their maturity. You also correctly indicated that CDing being no choice of our own. It's not a lifestyle choice as some would believe.

When this desire is awakened we go from there, what ever age we start with that is our beginning.

What ever meds you have, pass some around
Cassy

[Lourie James]

Juile you are so right. We will go to far becouse we don't get to go throuth all the diffent ages of being a girl. Lori

[Kelsy]

Julie!! Well there it is!!! As young boys we were denied the pleasures of cute things and that desire became repressed, frozen in time if you will, But the desire to be whole and expressive of who were are works something like a pressure cooker at some point we explode and all those pent up wants spill out. but we begin where we were repressed and have need to experience all of the femminine ways so to be 50 and wanting to wear styles of teens etc.
just reflects the maturity of our female innerselves. we have alot of catching up to do!! Cute is cute!!:thumbsup:

Jennifer:hugs:

[Jenny Beth]

Great post Julie, for once you haven't slandered anyone, pissed them off or had someone tell you to go jump off a cliff....:tongueout :D

All kidding aside you've hit the nail on the head. I my early days of dressing, fashion sense was not something that was important or even considered. I can only speak for myself here but I have to say that having my wife's support most probably kept me from going to the path that most call fetish dressing. There are no written rules here, we have to figure out why we dress in the first place before we can accept and be comfortable with our feminine side. I think the biggest reason most of us tend to stay in our closets is because we haven't a clue how to explain our behaviour to friends and family let alone expect them to understand it.

Again.....great post! :thumbsup:

[Terry]

VERY WELL PUT THAT COVERS ALLOT ,AND TO THE POINT

THANK YOU
Terry

[Julie York]

Great post Julie, for once you haven't slandered anyone, pissed them off or had someone tell you to go jump off a cliff....:tongueout :D

:thumbsup:

I'm having a day off. I'll be back to normal soon.:tongueout

[Phyliss]

Julie, your comments explain so much to me. Kinda wish I'd been able to read something like this about a year ago, Would have saved myself a bunch of buck$ and been able to avoid some of the clothes I've worn. (What was I thinking!!!). They looked nice in the store, even when I tried them on there. After I got home and put them on after a few days and looked at myself in the mirror, :eek: :eek: :eek: was my reaction.
Now I understand. Thank you very much for your comment.

[Tamara Croft]

I inspired you eh?? there must be something wrong with you :slap:

Your post does make perfect sense and I'd already come to this conclusion that because you were denied this at an early age, not given the chance to grow out of such frilly things and mature into, as you said, cuteness of what children are wearing, wedding dresses to mush over etc... you're more or less having to start from the beginning right? so..... you'll be what, 70 or so when you grow out of it :p

[Stephenie S]

Inspired by Tamara's thread about frilly socks and Wendy Me's neat reply about CDs not caring about 'appropriate' categories of clothing, I thought I'd write this post. It might help some GGs get a handle on the strange CD mindset.


We all have something we like or dislike, and have no way of justifying why that is. All we know is that it sets off a response that is pleasurable or not. Simply saying that chocolate 'tastes nice' does not explain anything. How do you KNOW it is nice? What lead you to that conclusion?

Women and small girls (yes I know it is a generalisation!) have a genetically inbuilt Cute-ometer. They can't explain why, but they like frills, they like pink, they like ribbons, they like lace. Something about those things give them an inner pleasure. However, as they grow older they are conditioned to develope their taste so that it expresses itself in a more mature field of 'cuteness'. Petticoats are o.k. in a 'fun' context. Frills are o.k. in small amounts on a blouse etc. Lace is o.k. on sexy stockings.

The unadulterated pleasure derived from 'cute' things, has been subdued, in order to express a more mature outlook. And yet it still lurks beneath the surface. Think of the genuine fun and joy a grown woman gets from seeing a little girl in a cute dress, or a bride done out in lace and frills? You can see the pleasure in their faces.

Now imagine a small boy with an equally honed Cute-ometer, through no fault or choice of his own. He was born with it. He is drawn to the same frills and lace and party dresses and ribbons and curls......but is denied them. He is steered carefully away from them because they aren't allowed.

And so as a grown crossdresser, there was no maturing of those senses....there was no rite of passage. So to a CD cute is cute is cute. It may be "innapropriate" for a grown crossdresser to wear a little party dress and frilly socks but the reason they want to is because they are STILL cute things! If they weren't then girls wouldn't wear them.

The reason CDs want to wear outragiously short skirts and outlandish high heels is because they never went through that stage of "You can't go out looking like that!". Because it is usually a secret! Because it is done for entertainment without anyone to judge.

And BECAUSE it is done for pure entertainment...there is no censoring of what is appropriate because, after all, who is going to see you, judge you, or tell you it isn't right to wear this or that? If it's cute it's cute! If it's sexy it's sexy!

It's actually an honest and pure expression of sensory pleasure removed from the maturing process women go through when they abandon 'cute' things in order to express a more grown-up image. Your average CD has the mentality of an 11 year old girl when it comes to clothes. 'Cute' is so cutesy it is outragious. Their idea of 'Sexy' is so over the top it often comes across as a parody.

It is only when when someone wishes to present themselves to others, or get the approval of their wife etc, that they censor these unadulterated tastes and tone it down so that they can "go out looking like that" even if it is in their own bedroom....or a photo on the forum.



(This does not apply to TS....who apply their own censor because they are dressing for a different reason. )


Anyway, that's how I see it.

Well Julie, that was a thoughtful post. And, wow, there has been 100% agreement on this. It certainly shows how desparate most are for a theory that explains our behavior.

But, that said, I find myself in disagreement with you. It will be interesting to see if I am the ONLY one who feels differently about this. Now I do agree with some of your reasoning. Where I have difficulty is with the "born with cuteness" part of your theory. I think that there is a HUGE factor of nurture going on here.

I think ALL humans are born with the ability to find pleasure in decorating ourselves. This ability, as you rightfully say, is thoughouly quashed in males, but you are only looking at OUR western culture. There are many human cultures where males do the decorative thing. So to say that females are BORN with a "genetically inbuilt Cute-ometer" is a bit of a stretch. I am sure a geneticist would have something to say about that.

Frills, lace, and the color pink are only how OUR culture decorates our bodies. To say that this was genetically programed in humans you would have to see it in all human cultures all over the globe, rather than just our western European one. In our culture, lacy, frilly, pink clothes are presented by society and our parents as the proper way for females to adorne their bodies. When a boy desires a pretty dress like his sister, the desire in stepped on quite heavily. Where I disagree with you is when you say this is genetically programed ONLY in females. No, I think it is a HUMAN trait. Not a female trait. We just don't let males participate in this in our society.

As many have pointed out on this forum in past threads, there once was a time in our culture when men wore powdered wigs, high heels, satin pants, stockings, and jackets COVERED in lace and frills. Were we somehow "genetically" programmed differently then? No, we were genetically the same as we are now. It's just that society presented a different way to decorate our bodies back then. Also remember it was not that long ago that boys and girls were BOTH kept in long hair and dresses until puberty.

So, while I understand your point, and it was well thought out, and certainly gathered an overwhelming agreement here, I have to point out there is probably no "cuteness gene" inherent in females.

And to speak personally, and to adhere to the "full disclosure" doctrine, I have to admit that, while I LOVE wearing my lacy bras, soft skirts, and lovely jewelry, I have NEVER thought of myself, or my clothes, as "cute".

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Jenny Beth]

I'm having a day off. I'll be back to normal soon.:tongueout



That's okay, I understand. We all have days where we aren't up to snuff..:D

[Jenny Beth]

Well Julie, that was a thoughtful post. And, wow, there has been 100% agreement on this. It certainly shows how desparate most are for a theory that explains our behavior.

But, that said, I find myself in disagreement with you. It will be interesting to see if I am the ONLY one who feels differently about this. Now I do agree with some of your reasoning. Where I have difficulty is with the "born with cuteness" part of your theory. I think that there is a HUGE factor of nurture going on here.

I think ALL humans are born with the ability to find pleasure in decorating ourselves. This ability, as you rightfully say, is thoughouly quashed in males, but you are only looking at OUR western culture. There are many human cultures where males do the decorative thing. So to say that females are BORN with a "genetically inbuilt Cute-ometer" is a bit of a stretch. I am sure a geneticist would have something to say about that.

Frills, lace, and the color pink are only how OUR culture decorates our bodies. To say that this was genetically programed in humans you would have to see it in all human cultures all over the globe, rather than just our western European one. In our culture, lacy, frilly, pink clothes are presented by society and our parents as the proper way for females to adorne their bodies. When a boy desires a pretty dress like his sister, the desire in stepped on quite heavily. Where I disagree with you is when you say this is genetically programed ONLY in females. No, I think it is a HUMAN trait. Not a female trait. We just don't let males participate in this in our society.

As many have pointed out on this forum in past threads, there once was a time in our culture when men wore powdered wigs, high heels, satin pants, stockings, and jackets COVERED in lace and frills. Were we somehow "genetically" programmed differently then? No, we were genetically the same as we are now. It's just that society presented a different way to decorate our bodies back then. Also remember it was not that long ago that boys and girls were BOTH kept in long hair and dresses until puberty.

So, while I understand your point, and it was well thought out, and certainly gathered an overwhelming agreement here, I have to point out there is probably no "cuteness gene" inherent in females.

And to speak personally, and to adhere to the "full disclosure" doctrine, I have to admit that, while I LOVE wearing my lacy bras, soft skirts, and lovely jewelry, I have NEVER thought of myself, or my clothes, as "cute".

Lovies,
Stephenie



You have a valid argument here but I'd like to take it a step further. As children we are influenced by how we are treated by our parents. Growing up I had three sisters and three brothers. Cuteness, lace and ribbons were not something I was jealous of but other things were. If I fell off my bike, skinned my knee and cried I was told to grow up and be a man, my sister's on the other hand were cuddled and had a fuss made over them, clearly at an early age I knew there was something better about being a girl. As boys we mowed lawns and shoveled snow to make money, the girls got allowances even though they babysat for spending money. My argument doesn't hold water for boys who grew up as the only child but I do believe in my case jealousy most probably played a huge role in how I turned out.

[Wendy me]

Julie :yrtw: wow omg this is well your best ever .... well done . .....

you have in some how explained the unexplainable ... it's like you pulled the unwritten CD definition out and posted it here .... yes cute is cute....

there is a saying" if i Had to explain it to you you would not understand ."...

well i you did a good job ....

[Amanda Jane]

as i recall some of those post on the cute sox liked them because they were so 'little girl' but others were remined of the ZZ Top sex-on-wheels look / there is a huge difference between the two

[jennifer easton]

Holy sh*t batman!! Julie I believe you've looked right in to my sole!! love ya! Jennifer

[kerrianna]

:eek: Okay what have you done with our Julie? :alien:

Great insight Julie...if you REALLY are Julie.

Come on, what did you do with her? :p

[Deborah_UK]

hi all
i was not going to reply to this but as a (ts ) you are right, please don't forget in order to become a (ts ) all of us go through the cross dressing experience so your comment :- (This does not apply to TS....who apply their own censor because they are dressing for a different reason.
is not totally true i CD for years before i was caught and then after wards i went to my doctor and the rest is history.so yes i always have felt i should have been born a woman , but playing the guy role robed me of the cute years , so even (ts) may have the sometime dress sense of a 10 year old but i never had the chance to wear cloths like that until now , even short skirts and very high heels , i maybe 46 but there are times i just like to be 26 even if it's in my own apartment i would never go out like that but thats just me. now i have a lot of catch up learning to do and without a gg in my life to help me i am afraid it's trial and error ...
hugs Marissa

I can relate to your post as well Marissa.

For years I put my feelings down to being a crossdresser (or TV in the UK!) although I had always known that there was something more I'd never acknowledged it.

But Julie's post certainly sums up that part of my life and even now I still like to dress for fun rather than practical (when the mood takes me that is).

Got to be contender for "Best thread of the Year" even this early.

[Marla S]

So, while I understand your point, and it was well thought out, and certainly gathered an overwhelming agreement here, I have to point out there is probably no "cuteness gene" inherent in females.

You are right about that, but they have a different "cuteness genes" in that that a woman's appearence is closer to the scheme of childlike characteristics than men's (we feel attracted to this scheme, caused by genetics). They are cute by nature !!!
Fashion usually pronounces what is already there i. e. cuteness (in the extreme corset, bustle, today breast enlargement). Hence cuteness is the women's "duty".
This scheme is why a boy is rather confused with a girl than the other way round and the childrens unisex dress style you spoke of was a girls and not a boys one.
That's also why women usually can wear everything and look at least cute in some way, whereas men very easily look "odd".
So the cute things are usually shuffeld towards the girls and they learn to apply it. This makes the cute-o-meter gentical of some sort.

[jennifer easton]

Whoa Jenny Beth good point,even though I have a brother, I can relate, always was jealouse of girls and how they always got over, just by being little girls xoxoxoxJennifer

[Kristen Kelly]

Inspired by Tamara's thread about frilly socks and Wendy Me's neat reply about CDs not caring about 'appropriate' categories of clothing, I thought I'd write this post. It might help some GGs get a handle on the strange CD mindset.

The reason CDs want to wear outragiously short skirts and outlandish high heels is because they never went through that stage of "You can't go out looking like that!". Because it is usually a secret! Because it is done for entertainment without anyone to judge.

Your average CD has the mentality of an 11 year old girl when it comes to clothes.

It is only when when someone wishes to present themselves to others, or get the approval of their wife etc, that they censor these unadulterated tastes and tone it down so that they can "go out looking like that" even if it is in their own bedroom....or a photo on the forum.

(This does not apply to TS....who apply their own censor because they are dressing for a different reason. )

Anyway, that's how I see it.


First of all my I comment best post so far this year I've seen, well written and hits the nail on the head.

The average CD don't act like they are 11 years old, an 11 year old wants to act like she's 18 years old

As for TS we have been robbed of our girlish childhood and we show our "cuteness" somewhere between a GG and CD in I like to dress cute when I can get away with it.

[Stephanie-L]

Great post, hit it right on the head. I used to dress in a totally inappropriate manner also, until I had some exposure to other CDs on forums like this one. This helped my sense of style mature rapidly, though I still wish I could get away with some things even an 18yo GG has trouble with LOL. I think that GGs have other GGs to talk to about fashion etc, moms, friends, magazines... We only have each other except for thse few who are lucky enogh to have a SO or GF whom they can talk to. I have only learned in the past few years to watch women of my age in the malls to see how they dress and carry themselves, not the teenyboppers that I wish I could look like. Great post....Stephanie

[Lovely Rita]

Wow Julie,
I love your views on the cute and frilly stuff and I must say I concur. You have my vote. As far as I am concerned you hit the nail on the head.

Thanks for the insights.

hugs

[Christina Nicole]

Perhaps to step back a bit, it may be acceptable to say that the parts of one's personality that are suppressed to some degree, fail to mature. So the feminine aspects of a male CDers personality, how he acts, thinks, and dresses as a female, are those of one who's development was arrested. Those aspects only begin to mature once they are allowed to develop.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[susie evans]

JULIE
that was a great post i can remember those days and the looks with the super short skirts and the 5" heels every where and i couldn't figure out why i was allways the center of attention and when i dress like a women my age no one hardly looks :hugs: :hugs:

susie

[Kimberley]

Julie, I am in awe.... I was waiting for the punchline all through that read.

Anyway, I think you are pretty much on the button with this. And yes, as TS we do have a different take on things but we still like frillies that dont show. :D

Kimberley

[Rachel Morley]

Your average CD has the mentality of an 11 year old girl when it comes to clothes.
I'm not sure I entirely agree with this statement, but I know where you're going with it.:happy:

Now imagine a small boy with an equally honed Cute-ometer, through no fault or choice of his own. He was born with it. He is drawn to the same frills and lace and party dresses and ribbons and curls......but is denied them.
This one I totally agree with :D This is is me all over, I was (and still am) that little girly boy. :o

Great post Julie :thumbsup:

[carla smith]

I have to be the odd one here at this site....cross-dressing is not a life sentence for me.

The real oddity is that my sister with my mother’s approval dressed me when I was a youth....until I could out run her. We lived in the country where no one that I remember ever saw me. Then when I was about 14 or so I had to play a female part in a skit for school and was really decked out in feminine attire....including petticoat! (My mother over did it!)

Now 30 years later I am again finding my feminine self with cross-dressing.
I started wearing age appropriate clothes fearing the worst while out and about. As I gained more confidence, I started to wear younger things...until I put together a school uniform, not ever aware of what it was until someone said...."what a cute school uniform"....oh is that what it is! Cheerleader uniforms and short skirts, oh my! Not around the house but around town, mostly to the local club (bar). I have been scolded by the local tg club that I should be wearing age appropriate clothes! I wear a tennis skirt with tennis panties (ruffled Lace) to play tennis in. (I am a good tennis player even with a skirt on...lol)

What a person wears in thier own home...in private...matters little or shouldn't matter to anyone. It's called freedom....being free to do what you want in the privacy of your home, unless it is illegal!

I guess even here I am the odd one! Oh well!

Oh, I almost forgot......I find that cross-dressing is interfering with alot of the things that are more important.... I will not purge....but the clothes will be boxed up and stored for the next time I get the urge to be feminine...not even sure I will need the clothes next time...we'll see!

Have fun out there!

[Sexy Nikki]

Wow, now that youve figured that out what are ya going to do. That must have taken alot time and brain power.

I dont waste alot of time on stuff like that anymore, its like gas, it stinks real bad for a while and then it goes away.

I just except myself for who I am.

:2c: :love:

[Michelle (Oz)]

A very interesting thread. I’d like to suggest an alternative “theory” based on my experience over the last 12 months when CDing kicked in with a vengeance.

I don’t think that I ever had the cute phase. My early stage of short skirts, etc was a hang over from what was for some years more sporadic erotic dressing. This phase passed very quickly to be dominated by wanting to blend, i.e. age appropriate and not outlandish. I do love the feel of the fabrics and sheer joy of being dressed.