what if

[Lynette]

hi :eek:
I don't dress fully because I could never pass. I have to ask what if you see someone that is out but shouldn't be. what I"m saying is someone that kind of gives cross dressing a bad image. Should you say something to them ? If so what should you say. I live in a small town and when you see what other people say its a black mark for the ones that take time to pass.
Lynette

[MsJanessa]

hi :eek:
I don't dress fully because I could never pass. I have to ask what if you see someone that is out but shouldn't be. what I"m saying is someone that kind of gives cross dressing a bad image. Should you say something to them ? If so what should you say. I live in a small town and when you see what other people say its a black mark for the ones that take time to pass.
Lynette

You mean out and misbehaving---(drunk, combative, loud, rude etc) or do you mean out and not convincingly passing? There is a big difference. My tendency is to help the later with dressing, wig, and make up to be as pretty as she can be---the former I would just avoid--who needs the aggravation?

[BeckyAnderson]

Hi Lynette,

I don't think that we girls should have to worry about passing. There are really very few of us who can truly pass ourselves off as female. Passing is really a state of mind. Personally, I am a man who is not afraid to express his feminine side and go out in public so there is no need to try to pass, I'm just being who I am. I'm a crossdresser and, as such, I am responding to a need I have deep within my very soul. Why try to deceive, simply be who we are. As long as I am appropriately dressed for where I am I can't be giving a bad name to our sisters. My feelings are such that if some people can't deal with seeing a man dressing as a woman then perhaps they are in need of finding and securing their own personal identity.

I guess all I am trying to say is we can't use "passing" as a gauge to determine whether we should venture out in public or not. There are many other reasons perhaps but passing shouldn't be one of them.

Just my :2c:

Hugs,
Becky

[Trinni]

When someone doesn't look like they pass or could pass, I think they know how they look. I personally have not gone out en femme but have seen many people out and about who have. If they want to go out that way then more power to them. The fact the have the confidence and courage to go out iI think is fine.

[tvbeckytv]

I wouldnt say a thing if i were you, for your own safety.
If i had the 'passing police' make comment to me, they would need urgent surgery to get that stiletto out that was stuck right up their ****

[Mary Morgan]

It's all part of the human condition. I hear people being critical of the over-weight, the under-weight, other races and religions, tatoos, piercings, the list goes on and on. I remember in the 60s and 70s all the talk about the long haired boys from Great Britain. I think we need to be comfortable in our own skins as a goal, then hopefully, we will learn to help make others comfortable in theirs. I didn't choose to be who I am and must work with what I've got. I have always been more impressed by those who make the effort than by the result of that effort. I can be critical too, but I'm working on it. Let's try to embrace each other and lead by example.

[Karren H]

Passing is way over-rated in my opinion.... plus I feel that we all have the right to wear anything we want, anywhere...any time!! So if a CD doesn't pass....who cares as long as she's having fun and isn't being hastled!! Heck, i've seen some real girls that don't pass as female and some real males that don't pass as men...

Love Karren

[Lisa Golightly]

Who cares what anyone else thinks... You have one life.

[Kristen Kelly]

Passing is way over-rated in my opinion.... plus I feel that we all have the right to wear anything we want, anywhere...any time!! So if a CD doesn't pass....who cares as long as she's having fun and isn't being hastled!! Heck, i've seen some real girls that don't pass as female and some real males that don't pass as men...

Love Karren

I agree totally, brings up the saying beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some people put all their effort into looking their best and maybe they don’t have a talent or have never been shown how to properly do makeup. Should that stop them from going out NO.
Girls look back at your older photos, I look mine and say, “You’ve come a long way Sweetie in a short time”, and that’s only because of how much I’ve gone out. If only I knew what I know now, when I was younger

[Kahlan51]

Hi Lynette,

I don't think that we girls should have to worry about passing. There are really very few of us who can truly pass ourselves off as female. Passing is really a state of mind. Personally, I am a man who is not afraid to express his feminine side and go out in public so there is no need to try to pass, I'm just being who I am. I'm a crossdresser and, as such, I am responding to a need I have deep within my very soul. Why try to deceive, simply be who we are. As long as I am appropriately dressed for where I am I can't be giving a bad name to our sisters. My feelings are such that if some people can't deal with seeing a man dressing as a woman then perhaps they are in need of finding and securing their own personal identity.

I guess all I am trying to say is we can't use "passing" as a gauge to determine whether we should venture out in public or not. There are many other reasons perhaps but passing shouldn't be one of them.

Just my :2c:

Hugs,
Becky
I agree Becky lets just be ourselves and proud of it Kahlan

[Kate Simmons]

Who's to judge who looks "good" and who looks "bad" really? I give them credit for being out there to begin with. Tells me something about their committment and their need to express that part of themselves. On the other hand, if someone asks me if I think they "pass" and it's obvious that they have beard shadow or "muscles", I will point that out (Well they did ask and I'm going to be honest. How could I be their friend otherwise?) to them and if they ask help, I would do my best to do so. To attempt to impose my own "standards" on someone else is unthinkable to me. Being free to be yourself is the goal in my opinion. Those are my thoughts on this anyway. I like being part of the TG community but the people ARE the community and are the most important thing in my opinion, not the overall image.:happy:

[Joy Carter]

I just try to look my best. Be-damed what anyone thinks. I'm me and though I look like a Yettie in a dress I don't care. :2c:

[Marla S]

A forced (artificial) and/or an over-sexed look would irritate me and I see this a bit as giving a bad image. "Does it need to ?
The rest is personal style. Not my duty to judge this.
Passing is over-rated and a bogus for most CDs, which shouldn't be reason to stay at home.
BTW: Those who realy pass don't give an image at all. It's up to the non-passers to open the door for acceptance, passing doesn't help here.

[Bev06 GG]

Hi Lynette,

I don't think that we girls should have to worry about passing. There are really very few of us who can truly pass ourselves off as female. Passing is really a state of mind. Personally, I am a man who is not afraid to express his feminine side and go out in public so there is no need to try to pass, I'm just being who I am. I'm a crossdresser and, as such, I am responding to a need I have deep within my very soul. Why try to deceive, simply be who we are. As long as I am appropriately dressed for where I am I can't be giving a bad name to our sisters. My feelings are such that if some people can't deal with seeing a man dressing as a woman then perhaps they are in need of finding and securing their own personal identity.

I guess all I am trying to say is we can't use "passing" as a gauge to determine whether we should venture out in public or not. There are many other reasons perhaps but passing shouldn't be one of them.

Just my :2c:

Hugs,
Becky

Mmmm I like that.
Bev

[alisoncdnj]

I agree totally, brings up the saying beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some people put all their effort into looking their best and maybe they don’t have a talent or have never been shown how to properly do makeup. Should that stop them from going out NO.
Girls look back at your older photos, I look mine and say, “You’ve come a long way Sweetie in a short time”, and that’s only because of how much I’ve gone out. If only I knew what I know now, when I was younger

I totally agree and could not have said it any better. I know I don't pass but each time I go out I gain a little more confidence and I am a little less nervous. Each time I try to get a little better with my presentation. You are absolutely right when I look back at my old photos and see just how far I have come. I look at it as a work in progress. I just go out and have a good time. I don't worry about what other people think anymore.

[Sandra]

If the person in question is happy then it is up to them as to wether they go out or not and they shouldn't have to worry about someone who may think they don't pass, speaking to them about it. Chance's are if they are not happy then they wouldn't be out in the first place.

[MsJanessa]

Hi Lynette,

I don't think that we girls should have to worry about passing. There are really very few of us who can truly pass ourselves off as female. Passing is really a state of mind. Personally, I am a man who is not afraid to express his feminine side and go out in public so there is no need to try to pass, I'm just being who I am. I'm a crossdresser and, as such, I am responding to a need I have deep within my very soul. Why try to deceive, simply be who we are. As long as I am appropriately dressed for where I am I can't be giving a bad name to our sisters. My feelings are such that if some people can't deal with seeing a man dressing as a woman then perhaps they are in need of finding and securing their own personal identity.

I guess all I am trying to say is we can't use "passing" as a gauge to determine whether we should venture out in public or not. There are many other reasons perhaps but passing shouldn't be one of them.

Just my :2c:

Hugs,
Becky

couldn't have said it better Myself---It's not really about "passing" its about being comfortable with who and what you are---ironicaly once that occurs and you no longer care about "passing" the more likely you are to "pass"

[trannie T]

Are you part of the Fashion Police? I shall were what I want to wear and in the unlikely event I wish to hear your opinion I will ask you.

[Bev06 GG]

I know its most CDs dream to actually pass as a woman but I have to say very few can actually pull it off. Even if they have great looks there is usually something that will give them away if your in their company long enough. However, have you ever thought that guys who do a good job on their makeup and outfit but still don't pass are probably doing the CD cause alot of good.
I've seen many CDs out on the town now and mostly its obvious what they are. I've got to admit though they look darned good and have made a great effort to look stunning. I'd like to tell them that but I'm always afraid that they will be mortally offended that I've read them so I keep my mouth shut.
If other people are seeing them out and admiring them not only for their courage but their makeup skills and dress sense, then surely this will all help to win over public opinion and so make people feel more comfortable in a Trannys company. I know it might be a slow and painful process, but if every CD out there in the public eye was a 100% passable, how would we ever convince people that Crossdressing was very popular, when they wouldn't even realise when they were in the company of one.
I've heard quite alot of you in the past say that you don't like to be noticed and you feel very uncomfortable when you think people are talking about you. I can understand that, not many people like to be in that position. But the cold hard facts are that Gays and Lesbians were once talked about alot, both negative and positive and look how educated people are now about their cause. If you see a couple of Gays holding hands in the high street now it hardly causes a murmur.
I know to some of you its very important to pass as a Female, but I think you need to liberate yourselves and be proud of who you are, not who you want to be. There are a few of you on this site who already possess thess qualities and are lucky enough to have the freedom to strut their stuff. They are the ones whom I suspect are accussed of narcissism and being full of themselves but they are the ones who will highlight your cause. And even if they dont pass, and even if they do make mistakes with their dress sense of their makeup from time to time, they are the ones who are free to enjoy who they are and what they do. So no to your question, I dont think you should tell people that they shouldn't be out if they dont pass. I dont think theyre giving Trannys a bad name If theyre behaving themselves, I think theyre male suffragettes who one day we will all thank for having the balls to show themselves to the world.
Bevxxxx

[johnna]

Hi Lynette,

I don't think that we girls should have to worry about passing. There are really very few of us who can truly pass ourselves off as female. Passing is really a state of mind. Personally, I am a man who is not afraid to express his feminine side and go out in public so there is no need to try to pass, I'm just being who I am. I'm a crossdresser and, as such, I am responding to a need I have deep within my very soul. Why try to deceive, simply be who we are. As long as I am appropriately dressed for where I am I can't be giving a bad name to our sisters. My feelings are such that if some people can't deal with seeing a man dressing as a woman then perhaps they are in need of finding and securing their own personal identity.

I guess all I am trying to say is we can't use "passing" as a gauge to determine whether we should venture out in public or not. There are many other reasons perhaps but passing shouldn't be one of them.

Just my :2c:

Hugs,
Becky


Ditto! It truly is about being who you are instead of trying to be someone your not.

[susie evans]

way over rated confidence and attitude will go a long way and i don't think as many people care as you think:2c:

susie

[Diannna]

I believe I would have to just let it go. I'm sure there are some of us here that couldn't pass if you used a ton of make up and tried to strut your best form. Those of us that would do that, is your own business. For the most part though, I believe that the majority of us really try our best at looking fem as possible. Even if we know we're probably going to get read. But then there are those of us (few as it is) that have much less trouble looking our best. Just how many of us can really say they totally pass, I'm sure the figure is a low single digit %. Got to love it though!

[marie354]

I just try to look my best.

I try to represent my enfemme self in a reasonable way. Practice helps, and I've seen some improvement from my past pics.
:hugs:
Trying to look natural is about all one can do. Some do look better than others as is the case with GG's too.
I work with what I got, and go from there.
:hugs:

[dods460]

A forced (artificial) and/or an over-sexed look would irritate me and I see this a bit as giving a bad image. "Does it need to ?
The rest is personal style. Not my duty to judge this.
Passing is over-rated and a bogus for most CDs, which shouldn't be reason to stay at home.
BTW: Those who realy pass don't give an image at all. It's up to the non-passers to open the door for acceptance, passing doesn't help here.

Marla I swear we could be mind twins:happy:

[Marla S]

Marla I swear we could be mind twins:happy:
Maybe we are ?:happy:

[jozee]

are they trying to be something they're not, other than a woman? if they are just trying to be a woman, tell them you wish you had the guts to do the same thing.:hugs:

[RobertaFermina]

I'm working at passing as an engaging, thoughtful, compassionate, empowering and beautiful being.

I'm faking it till I make it !

I know that, when enfemme, I get a positive and interested response from women, and I make other men nervous. Same as the macho masculine ideal !?

And it is so much more fun, free, and exciting than doing it in MaleWear.

:rose: Roberta :rose: