I think i've been spotted or is it in my mind?

[Jenni B]

With the winter and longer dark days being here, its that time of year when i need my fix more than usual.

So i've been doing rather a lot in the last month, plenty of full dressing and a bit of half dressing.

But i'm just wondering if i've been spotted.

You know that feeling when you think someone is avoiding talking to you or the feeling that someone is smiling in that certain way when they look at you as if they know something.

To be honest this is a couple of kids i think that might have seen something, possibly, or is in my mind? My guilty conscience.

I've sort of been in hiding for the last month so that i don't bump into them and that i don't see them and see their expressions.

The more i think about it the more i filll myself with this feeling of anxiety, a twisting of my stomach's innerds with worry.

So i was thinking when could it have been?

I remember one day coming home from work at 4.30 in the afternoon and it was dark with just the streetlighting and lights from nearby houses. I needed a small fix so i put on tan'ish pantyhose a pair of heeled sandals and a mid thigh beige skirt.

Instead of opening the rear door of the house where it would have been safer, i didn't cos it has half a dozen locks on it, i went to the side door cos it'll be easier. I only wanted to feel the draft around my legs. So there i stood for 30 to 60 seconds but it was enough for me, but i feel this is where it might have been.

Although there wasn't any lights on at the house so i was in the dark and the kids where playing in the distance with a 4ft wall in between us, this is where i thought it might have been.

So later at night i stood at the same point in the distance and thought to myself, could they see anything? They could have seen the top of what could be beige pants? Plus the wall is a bit high from that point.

Anyway i've probably gone on enough but i think i've probably managed to put across how i'm feeling.

I'm sure there has been the others in a similar if not same situation.

Help me to get back to 'normal'

[bgirl]

Oh my gosh, was that you?......................................I have had the paranoids visit me as well. If they know, they are not telling. Like Bart says " I didn't do it. Nobody saw me. You can't prove a thing man."

[Jodie_Lynn]

Sweetie, I think it is all in your mind. From what you've described, I don't think anyone saw anything.

Relax and try not to think negatively. And stop feeling guilty for what you are, you are creating a self image that you are "doing something wrong", and are feeling guilty. Stop.

In reality, not many people have the desire or time to be concerned about what you are doing.

:)

[Lisa Golightly]

Are you Fox Mulder? Chill baby...

[Karren H]

Its your mind!!! For sure! Happends to me all the time. Like I'm walking down the hall... And I see this girl from Marketing... And she has a frown on her face... As we pass!!

First thing in my mind!!! Damn!! She found out!! And now everyone will know!!

Come to find out she had something on her mind and didn't even see me!! Lol.

Or the phone message...." I really need to see you about something personal". Crap!!! Wants to know what kind of PC should he buy!! Whewwww!!

So don't fret it!!!

Karren

[FROCKYHORROR]

me too..had this need to just go for a little walk..i came out of rear of house and down my side ally..coast seemed clear..then i saw a young girl coming down pavement as i turned right,,my heart jumped and i thought its too late shes seen me..i just hope she thought i was a real girl...and doesn't live on the same street as me..i walked on and figured if i saw something "strange" i'd proberly turn my head round as i passed them..so i turned my head round (a little while after passing her) to see if she was turning round to look..it gave me great comfort to see she hadn't (or maybe she did it before my head turned...oh know i'm worrying again...)

[Glenda58]

Use to be like that. Now I go to mail box in the day pay the paperboy sign for the UPS truck. When they find you don't care what they think they leave you alone and most treat you the same. So don't let it upset you. Remember you only have fear to worry about is your fear.

[RobertaFermina]

What is real is what happens.
There is no evidence other than how you feel about how people behave, when those people have said nothing to confirm they are either feeling the way you think they are, or further, that they would feel that way for the reasons you think they do.

if the odds are 50/50 at any branch.

50/50 they didn't see you.
50/50 they saw you.

With odds of 50:50....If they saw you, 50/50 they thought your clothes weren't right and did a double take.
With odds of 25:75....If they double took, 50/50 they intuited that what was different was feminine dress.
With odds of 13.5:86.5....If they intuited it, 50/50 they care.
With odds of 6.75:94.25....if they care their behavior might shift.

Compare that to odds are better than 50/50 that you feel you have a lot at stake and are hypervigilent for signs of discovery.

It far more likely that you are paranoid than that you were discovered and it matters to anyone.

[susie evans]

aww don't worry about it i was sweating bullets the first time one of the nieghbor kid said some thing but they don't even look up now they just wave and keep going :heehee: :heehee:
susie

[Stephenie S]

Girl, get a grip. You are a grown man afraid of a couple of kids? Anxiety twisting at your stomach? For what? Relax, sweety. Remember who is the adult here. Probably you were not seen. Probably there is no problem at all. Probably this is your imagination running in overtime. And if they did see you, what are they going to do?

"Oh, Mr Jones wears womens clothes. I seen him".

"Yeah, right kid, and what were you smoking that day?"

You're the grownup and they're the kids, right? You have done nothing illegal or imoral.

Lovies,
Steph

[Amanda Shaft]

I'm sure things are okay but maybe next time take the trouble of going out the back door! I always think that the chances of being busted are much greater when you've only gone halfway, fully dressed and made up makes you a lot less likely to be read from any distance away. So relax, take a little more time and enjoy!
Amanda

[Jenni B]

Thanks for all the replies girls, your just the tonic i needed. Thats why i had to ask you i knew you would make me feel better.

Me and my SO created the same enviroment last night and each of us went for a walk around the side of the property, we couldn't see anything because it was dark and because of the side wall.

Like you say, its not as if they would tell anyone, who would believe them?

Some bloke who messes with cars and motorbikes who has a five oclock shadow like desperate dan wears skirts.......yeah right.

But i just wanted to share it with you, get it off my chest (38c).

I consider you not just as my friends but my councellors as well if you dont mind.

Love Jenni:hugs:

[julie w]

If you were spotted ,nobody is going to tell you ,so if it is not going to affect
your job or family dont sweat it ,

[hotbobbie]

Jenni i think this is just in your mind as most of us have gone thru this many times and it is really not what you think.

[Kelsy]

Could be your mind but there could be something to it!! my recient experience with this kind of thing came after being spotted in the driveway by some friends of my landlady!

now, I only had on some four inch heels, in drab and it was at night but the headlights were on me. Well any way, my landlady didn't talk to me for two weeks,quite out of character.

I thought she may have known and was avoiding me. well the other day I was doing my laundry, I use her machines, and she comes in from shopping and asks me if I am ok. I said sure.

then she proceeds to show me what she had bought - a blue suede jacket -two cashmere sweaters and a silk blend blouse. She then dumps out her other bag full of pantyhose in their boxes and proceeds to take them all out of the boxes and puts them all on the counter well I went on with my buisness and acted like this was just par for the course and went downstairs to my apt. as I left I said something like you know where I'll be - then she says something like I know I can tell your home when I smell your coffee or your aftershave and then says perfume! huh? she says when her other tenent was there she could tell buy smelling her perfume..It all threw me for a loop considering my suspicions about what she knew ---- probably all coincidence but a real mind bender. :eek:

Jennifer:happy: