Why Why Why

[MJ]

hi girls
First of all please forgive me but i just don't get it . i have made many wonderful friends here but i still don't understand Why it is that some adult "men" with no history of cross-dressing ... all of a sudden want to become one with the female population ?..
i just don't get it
i understand how many of us start at a Early age i get that. but how can this desire lay dormant for years and years and somehow come to life some 20 years or later ? what triggerd this and why now

please don't get me wrong i am trying to understand. i can't get my head around it
this is open to everyone please help me
hugs Marissa

[Jodie_Lynn]

perhaps they have been burying their feelings for decades, and have just now realized they are incomplete?

And remember that the attitudes today, while not exactly greeting our kind with open arms, IS more tolerant than 10, 20 or 30 years ago.

[Katrina]

I'm not sure. I always knew I had a latent gender issue, but it wasn't until recently that I became serious about CDing and more. I think mine was sparked by my divorce. I realized that this was my chance to live my life the way I wanted and things just went from there.

[Sherlyn]

Ummmmmm I think this is a case of basically .. To each their own !!!!!..Why worry about getting your head around it..What is.. is just is .

[Karren H]

Its obviously because they are "not normal"!! Hehe. Not to be confused with us real "girls"....

:D

No clue since I started when I was 8 but I'm bet a quarter (US not Canadian) that they have no clue either!!!

Love Karren

[Mikala0589]

I'm 25 and just started CDing this past year. However, I guess when I think back, I would RANDOMLY put on my mom's panties every once in a while when I was very young. And then like 2 yrs ago, I would RANDOMLY try on my gf's panties. Now, I go out and buy my own lingerie alllll the time. I love it, especially the thongs!!

[Talon DeRojo]

MJ - I can only guess that what is at work is a process similar to that of heterosexual singles and married men who "discover" that they are gay in their 30s after years of marriage and 'normal' life. They may have experienced the feelings as children or adolescents, but did not understand them, were frightened by them, and/or denied them. I believe that some CDs and gays embark upon macho, heterosexual lives in order to "cure" themselves, to prove that the feelings are not real, or to squash unwanted, little understood, strange, and "wrong/perverted" desires and impulses. Years later the feelings and desires are still there, straining to get out, and become so strong that people are compelled to acknowledge them and try to deal with them. I have no idea how accurate this suggested explanation might be, but I'd guess that it is true of at least some. Of course, there's always the possibility that whatever struck us as appealing about wearing women's clothes early in life just struck them much later.
What do any of you other girls think?
Talon:happy:

[Kate Simmons]

Hey, maybe they want to see what all the "shouting" is about. See, we do make a difference after all, a positive one.:happy:

[flogo920]

Many are so repressed and in denial and afraid of being gay- once kids grown and mature, and testosterone levels falling, it hits- have known many in their 50s who told me that.

Flo

[Wendy me]

so far i have not seen a rule book on when one should start cding........

[melissaK]

Why it is that some adult "men" with no history of cross-dressing ... all of a sudden want to become one with the female population ?..
i just don't get it

Well, MJ, I looked on eBay as I heard you can get "it" there, and I did a search under "it" and this is as close as I got:

http://cgi.ebay.com/Family-Guy-ITS-FUN-TO-DRESS-UP-Iron-On-Transfer-Sm_W0QQitemZ130068536984QQihZ003QQcategoryZ31730QQ rdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

hugs,
'lissa

[Tina Dixon]

I have no answer for you, I know the more I dress the more it over comes me, if not for my wife I think I would be dressed and probably out a lot as a female, but she keeps the male side strong.

[Peggy55]

hi girls
First of all please forgive me but i just don't get it . i have made many wonderful friends here but i still don't understand Why it is that some adult "men" with no history of cross-dressing ... all of a sudden want to become one with the female population ?..
i just don't get it
i understand how many of us start at a Early age i get that. but how can this desire lay dormant for years and years and somehow come to life some 20 years or later ? what triggerd this and why now

please don't get me wrong i am trying to understand. i can't get my head around it
this is open to everyone please help me
hugs Marissa

Hi Marissa,

I read one explanation that a person, after a series of tramatic expereiences, might then crossdress. This is what I'm going with. The article said the person is fleeing to the more "nurturing" side......

Peggy

[Angela E.]

I find this unusual myself, having always felt this way,but hey, who are we to judge? I`m just glad all of us are here, no matter what path we may have followed to arrive.Love to all my sisters-Angela:bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :doll: :dancing: :dancing: :dancing:

[Andrea_girl]

Maybe its somthing in the water lol

Andrea
X

[RobertaFermina]

Hey MJ, check this out, with special attention to the "Midlife Crisis" section.
It could even explain an emergence before the mid-thirties, I believe.

http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/cathytg/anima.htm

This really resonates with me.

Sometimes I feel I am mixing up my repressed little-boy's femininity with whatever-other-urges I have to CD. (what other urges?, now that I have an opportunity to communicate them).

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[Megan_Girl]

I can't speak for others but I've been dressing since ..... forever!

I don't think in my case it was ever dormant. Although I did spend a great deal of time by a famous river in Egypt.

But since I've returned from my trip down D-Nile I think I'm more comfortable with myself than I've ever been. And I am trying to keep a more balanced approach to my life that includes the of acceptance of who I am and who I'm not.
I am a crossdresser.... I'm not what society would consider your basic male. But, who wants to be basic?!
XXX
Megan

[janelle]

I don't know if this will help you understand. I use to dress up off & on for many years. Got married, had kids & hid it fairly well. Then the kids are gone(hurrah) & things at work get bad & in the mean time i learn i have health issues, thus depression sets in. Next thing you know you are seeing a shrink & you tell how dressing made you happy but you were trying not to for many reasons. You ask why you cannot shrug it off & in my case its because i know that it could be anytime that i pass on, so i am after what makes me whole, happy & at peace with myself.
Now i know this is not what you were completely after but maybe for some they have fought these feelings & are finding out like me that time is short & they want the best for themselves. I don't know, its only a guess on my part.
I will say that my health making me look at myself has been the greatest thing in my life. I am happier, i have many wonderful friends here & i am at such a peace about myself so what could anyone really ask for. Yes i guess at 50 i am a late bloomer but better late than never. I do wish i would have know this was me years ago when i was young, i believe my life would have been tons better than it was.
Sorry for going on so long but this is me. Maybe its me but it could be for some others, yet i am sure there are the few that do it for fun or to make fun of us. Hope this ups,tata.
:love: Janelle

[Ginger62]

Hi Marissa,

I have a BA in Psychology so maybe I can shed some light on this for you.

The best I can tell you is that when a guy allows himself to try on a womans clothes, it's the resulting endorphin rush that creates the OMG! moment.

It does not matter if it's thigh highs (as in my case), panties, that certain skirt or your moms girdle. When you allow yourself to experience that high, all you want is more of it. Don't believe me?!? Then why does the rat push the bar for more cocaine until it eventually dies? It's the rush.

Eventually, a guy wears more and more womens clothes to feel that high again and again. Then it turns to "Well how closely can I resemble a woman if I do this?" (e.g. shave my legs, wear a wig, etc.) and then the "hobby" turns into a challenge to see how good one can be at it.

Trust me, it's the same feeling a guy gets when he finally kisses that girl of his dreams for the first time. All you want to do is spend more time with her.

Hope this helps.

Hugs,

Ginger

[Deidra Cowen]

LOL...I dressed for the first time when I was 43. So I'm one of those thats driving ya nuts. :tongueout I think that link from Roberta might explain things pretty well for my case. Too lazy to do psycho analysis on myself right now.

[Joy Carter]

I recall trying on grandma's house dress at four. As I grew my sister was more my mom than mom. I guess my dressing was to be like my sister. But when I hit puberty things changed and I didn't feel the need to dress. Oh it was still there but I was interested in other things. Things began to come fast when I became an adult. And I think I went back to CD because I need that comfort I wasn't getting else where. Now it's just a pleasure because I have no more guilt to deal with. I'm basically happy.:D

[Marla S]

i just don't get it
i understand how many of us start at a Early age i get that. but how can this desire lay dormant for years and years and somehow come to life some 20 years or later ? what triggerd this and why now

A guess

-High social pressure. Suppression might be so strong that you even don't know what you are suppressing, you just feel less happy than you should (dull to depressive).

-There are times in life when other things attract and need your full attention (life is more than dressing); to establish in business life, to start a family, to rise children.
(with about 40 you have it or not, hence these things need less attention. First circle of life is done).

-Many attempts to find others ways of self-discovery. Which don't work and you finally abandon your inner resistance.

[Amanda Jane]

me either, all the cds i know began when they were very young, i for one just don't make the same connection with people who start later, i'm sure they are fine people, but they are not the same

[MJ]

so far i have not seen a rule book on when one should start cding........
true Wendy it can happen at any age i want to understand what triggers our desire to do so

Well, MJ, I looked on eBay as I heard you can get "it" there, and I did a search under "it" and this is as close as I got:

http://cgi.ebay.com/Family-Guy-ITS-FUN-TO-DRESS-UP-Iron-On-Transfer-Sm_W0QQitemZ130068536984QQihZ003QQcategoryZ31730QQ rdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

hugs,
'lissa
Melissa thanks thats funny

Hey MJ, check this out, with special attention to the "Midlife Crisis" section.

It could even explain an emergence before the mid-thirties, I believe.
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/cathytg/anima.htm

This really resonates with me.

Sometimes I feel I am mixing up my repressed little-boy's femininity with whatever-other-urges I have to CD. (what other urges?, now that I have an opportunity to communicate them).

:rose: Roberta :rose:
interesting link thank you Roberta

Hi Marissa,

I have a BA in Psychology so maybe I can shed some light on this for you.


The best I can tell you is that when a guy allows himself to try on a womans clothes, it's the resulting endorphin rush that creates the OMG! moment.

It does not matter if it's thigh highs (as in my case), panties, that certain skirt or your moms girdle. When you allow yourself to experience that high, all you want is more of it. Don't believe me?!? Then why does the rat push the bar for more cocaine until it eventually dies? It's the rush.

Eventually, a guy wears more and more womens clothes to feel that high again and again. Then it turns to "Well how closely can I resemble a woman if I do this?" (e.g. shave my legs, wear a wig, etc.) and then the "hobby" turns into a challenge to see how good one can be at it.

Trust me, it's the same feeling a guy gets when he finally kisses that girl of his dreams for the first time. All you want to do is spend more time with her.

Hope this helps.

Hugs,

Ginger
hi Ginger
thank you for the heads up , but i can't remember ever getting this rush from an early age i knew i should have been a girl , so i dress the way i feel


LOL...I dressed for the first time when I was 43. So I'm one of those thats driving ya nuts. :tongueout I think that link from Roberta might explain things pretty well for my case. Too lazy to do psycho analysis on myself right now.

hi Deidra
YOU were 43 omg, so tell me a. why did you do it.. b. what triggered you to dress has a chick "a hot one at that " c. up until that time did you feel anything to-wards cross-dressing or was there nothing there ? if so what change your mind ?
you see Deidre you can help me ... don't make me come down there
you hold the key thanks :love:

[carla smith]

Thanks Roberta, the article you posted said something "right on" for me...

"The inclusion of the female effects a change in the male personality, producing a new personality that is better than either alone. The female empowers and transforms the male. This stage is ongoing. The new self continues to grow--presumably in the direction of greater spirituality and service to others.
It is consistent with the anima theory that the urge to crossdress may diminish during these later stages. The crossdresser now understands that it was not the clothing or being a woman that he sought--these merely symbolized the deeper aspects of his personality he sought to express. Once he experiences and expresses these aspects directly, female clothing itself has less meaning and importance.

I have been saying the same thing for the last few months. With the knowledge gained....move on to other things more important...

Have fun out there!

But fun doesn't just happen. You have to make it a priority in your life or it'll go missing. Life's too short to not have it.

[sterling12]

Just a guess, but I have read some theory's which feel that almost all persons withhold some aspects of their deepest, darkest, feelings from others, and are very private.

It has to do with preserving "self", if you give up all your secrets, you lose your sense of the private self. It causes "bad karma" and makes you long for personal identity.

Having said all that, and having talked to quite a few transgendered people...something commonly admitted is that somewhere along the journey almost all of us have played the game of "what if".

IF, a person was withholding that deep, dark, secret of "what if", and finally decided to give it a try. That might explain the "sudden change". Actually, not so sudden at all!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[CharleneCD]

A guess

-High social pressure. Suppression might be so strong that you even don't know what you are suppressing, you just feel less happy than you should (dull to depressive).

.

This, I think sums it up for me. Even from a young age I was different from the other boys. Not a good thing in our society. I remember being called girlish and even gay from a young age. I did what I could to try to prove them wrong. I went through all the motions to show myself as masculine. (failed miserably as I still never fit in.) I even took it to the point of hating gays or effeminate men.

Looking back now I can see where things slipped through. Dressing up like a girl was just too easy a thing for Haloween. It is actualy a good thing as this kind of slip was was led me to fully discovering my full self once I was mature enough at 38.

[gennee]

I never had gender issues at all. Almost two years ago, I got the urge to try on a skirt. I acted on it and have been dressing ever since. Looking back, I remember for about 3 years, I had the urge to bust out. Bust out to what or whom I had no clue.

Another thing is that I always like odd and unusual things and activities. I always felt that I was different but didn't know why. I have now embraced dressing up and being transgender. I couldn't be happier.

Gennee

:happy: :gorgeous: