Poll: How accepting is your wife/SO or do you not have a wife/SO?

[JulieC]

I haven't seen a poll on this subject regarding acceptance/support of Wives/SOs. Options should be self explanatory.

[maggie]

In which category would you put "divorced or separated due to crossdressing"?

Maggie

[tommi]

When wife first found out was very accepting ,then she went totally the
other way and made me throw everything away.
Now she just ridicules me and any other cder she might come into contact
with.

[Andrea_girl]

I am so lucky. My SO is totally excepting and supportive.

I wonder sometimes what life would be like if she wasn't.

Scary

Andrea
XX

[Katrina CD]

I would have to say she knows, but is not accepting.
I've told her twice, so she knows, but she refuses to acknowledge the elephant in the closet, so she would not be accepting, in my opinion. I only say that because she shut down on discussion the last time when she realized it wasn't going to stop.
I guess I would actually say: Wife knows/Refuses to ackowledge.

Katrina

[JulieC]

Maggie; single, due to crossdressing. That goes for anyone else with the same question :)

[Casey Morgan]

Actually, this comes up every so often. It's just that there are so many new posts between the polls that it can be tough to find the old ones.

I'm single. I can't decide if I like that or not. Oh well, I wouldn't be the first bachelor in the family.

[Sheila]

I am an accepting So but have not voted as I assume this was for the cdr's M2F and F2M

Jess

[amanda barber]

SO knows, is accepting and actively encourages

If the relationship weren't that way I wouldn't be in it. Life is to short to not be happy.

[JulieC]

I am an accepting So but have not voted as I assume this was for the cdr's M2F and F2M

Jess

Jess, yes it's intended for the crossdresser themselves, not the wife/SO. Also, this is the MTF forum, so it's directed at MTF though a similar poll at FTM would be illuminating too I think.

-BB

[Jenni B]

Well i put my vote in.

My SO encourages and sometimes participates. She wants me to dress as and when i need because she doesn't like to see me fight with myself, due to not wanting to do it.:(

Oh well.

[lahr]

My wife knows of my penchant for panties, hose, heels, amd we have no problem with this. However. Wigs, Make up, Jewelry and painted nails are not usually allowed.

[ElleCD]

No-one else has posted a comment on SO does not know so far and this is definitely the minority in the poll. I was surprised that the proportion was so small. Maybe its because Forum members are more into CDing and therefore more likely to tell or be discovered by their SOs. I've certainly had more close shaves (surprisingly good pun) since becoming more involved in CDing. For me my SO not knowing is preferable to knowing and dissapproving and/or discouraging which I believe would be the likely outcome. I could not stop so the likely outcome would be pretty disasterous for our relationship.

[Brenda Love]

my wife has known for years that I like to wear her panties and thinks it's just a fetish that should stay in the closet although she has given me many opportunities to have my own panties , I think she's just testing me to see how strong the fetish is.she dosen't know that it's not just a fetish and has never seen me fully dressed.:eek: I wont risk our 11 year marrage for CDing so I stay in the closet and dress in private when I can.:(

Hugs
Brenda

[cindybarnes]

My wife is somewhere between accepting and activley encouraging... its the activley encouraging part that comes and goes,, but I consider myself VERY lucky either way !
I answered knows and is accepting
Cindy

[Joyciecd]

I am single and date guys and gals, always dressed. My friends have never dated me en drab, and don't want to. I don't know how to put this on the graph.

[Lovely Rita]

My SO loves it!

Hugs

[Samantha Jane Foster]

I'm single and mostly gay, looking for a boyfriend who accepts my crossdressing, which is one of the reasons I'm single. Most gay men want to be with "real" men (whatever). I have a million fantasies, which I won't go into (unless requested!) but since I do think girls are beautiful, I'd love to be with a girl as a girl.

I guess what I'd like to understand about straight, married crossdressers here is, when you're dressed up, especially in lingerie, wouldn't it really make you feel completely feminine to have a man, uh, holding you (among other things)? I haven't had much luck in the romance department, but I can say, when I'm all girly girly, it's a wonderful feeling to be with a man who treats me like a little hottie.

[Melanie R]

When wife first found out was very accepting ,then she went totally the
other way and made me throw everything away.
Now she just ridicules me and any other cder she might come into contact
with.

Why do you remain in a relationship where you and any other CD are ridiculed?

Hugs,

Melanie

[stephanie100]

my SO knows accepts and encourages so all is well though if she really gets mad it gets brought up in a bad way sometimes.

[Julie York]

I've certainly had more close shaves (surprisingly good pun) since becoming more involved in CDing. .

:thumbsup:

:D :D

[Katiegirl]

My SO found out 20+ years ago, I have now been divorced 20+ years.

Katie

[SherriePall]

She knows and is unaccepting. However, she gives me closet room and shares space for make-up. Plus she washes my undies and gives me my space when I need it. Plus she busts me from time to time. So....

[marie354]

I'm 24/7 almost every day and she has done my makeup and hair at times too.
When we go out though, I'm drab. So far anyway. We do shop together.

[wabnaok]

My wife knows and accepts it for me.

[adora]

My SO Annette is very supportive, very encouraging and most importantly very loving to adora...I couldn't ask for anything more.

[linnea]

I had the same impression when I saw the results of the poll so far, and I am in a similar situation as Elle. My concern about the response I would get far outweighs my sense of guilt for my dishonesty--at least at this time. I had waffled about telling my wife on numerous occasions, and I have taken some small steps in revealing my CDing to my grown daughter (that, I must say, has had a liberating effect on me). I continue to struggle even as I continue to enjoy CDing when I have the opportunities.



No-one else has posted a comment on SO does not know so far and this is definitely the minority in the poll. I was surprised that the proportion was so small. Maybe its because Forum members are more into CDing and therefore more likely to tell or be discovered by their SOs. I've certainly had more close shaves (surprisingly good pun) since becoming more involved in CDing. For me my SO not knowing is preferable to knowing and dissapproving and/or discouraging which I believe would be the likely outcome. I could not stop so the likely outcome would be pretty disasterous for our relationship.

[black leotards]

My wife has even made me a couple of outfits! Plus, she is the first to compliment me on how cute I look. (Black miniskirt with argyle tights tonight!)

[nataliecd77]

My Wife knows, supports and even encourages my dressing. I know how lucky I am in that and appreciate every bit of it to depths that I could never begin to explain to my wonderful Wife!
It's become so much of a part of us that she even made the comment" that whenever I need sexy clothes I have to find yours! You have much better clothes Natalie!"
Thank You for letting me have those wonderful clothes Nicole!:love: :hugs:
Love,
Natalie

[MJ]

i too am single due to drossdressing,

[Rachel Morley]

I voted "Wife/SO knows, is accepting and actively encourages"

[natasha]

My wife knows and is supportive.....but the other day she had to buy a skirt for a job interview and I jokingly said (testing the waters). Your only going to buy one? Well, she bought two and said that it was a little left of center but seemed ok with it. We'll see how things continue. How do I tell her though that I really dont like what she picked out lol. I have way nicer ones in my closet.

[Barb Valentine]

What can I say I'm still in the closet
:hiding:

[Joy Carter]

Acknowledged that it's not going away. Realized the benefit to me being happy being myself. So long as I don't do it around her. Hey, I'm farther ahead than I thought I'd be.

[breanna/bryan]

my so kows and is kind of accepting she allows me to wear womenns jenas some skirts and tops along with panties but she dose not want me wearing bras or make up dresses panty hose high heels basicaly anything that would scram cd she dose not approve of that is y i cna not wait till she gose away after vday for two weks to nj so i can be the girl i wanna be all i want for two weks ia m goingt o be enfemme:D

[Tanya83]

My wife and I are separated but still live in the same house (Separate bedrooms)
Anyway, up untill last night she was not accepting but now she is starting to accept it.
Last night I had a nightgown and heels on while we discussed our future arraignments and for the most part I was just so excited and pleased to be dressed in front of someone, my wife no less, I just wasn't really thinking about what we were talking about.
So I guess as one door closes, another one opens.
A real bitter sweet feeling it is.

[mary sue]

My wife knows and accepts and share bras and panties.She has bought for me and i her. I dont try to pass or go out in fem, having a full beard dont allow for that and no one wants to see my legs haha

[keeley]

To a degree my wife is accepting. She knows I own my own lingerie and has even bought some for me and some of best sex has been when I've been dressed in a bra or a basque. However I don't think she'd be too keen if I was to take it further in front of her. Becasuse of this it's become harder for me to dress as she's just thrown a load of clothes out of which many were the ones I wore.

Admittedly I could have told her but I enjoy the way our relationship is.

[Jenniferritchie]

My wife knows and when we are out shopping (always with me in drab) she will buy me femme clothes if i ask. At birthdays and xmas she will often buy something for Jennifer,

I am allowed to dress at home if the boys will not be in, but i am not allowed to wear makeup or my wigs, this i have to do when i go to my group meetings, we also buy and share makeup, handbags and shoes.
So i suppose i have to say that she participates to a degree, for that i am very thankful.

[Carroll]

interesting poll. They way most talked here, I was under the impression that supportive SO's were the minority, but the poll show it's the majority.

[Alyla]

My SO has taken me shopping, in drab, for clothes, shoes, lingerie, pajamas and H&B items. We don't go out together, but at home in the evenings we relax together with me dressed. It is very calming and relaxing for me after along day in the woodshop. I appreciate her.

Alyla

[JulieC]

interesting poll. They way most talked here, I was under the impression that supportive SO's were the minority, but the poll show it's the majority.

Caroll; I am surprised at the results too. I expected the sum of "is accepting" and "is accepting and actively encourages" to be somewhere around 20%, 30% at most. I'm very, very surprised it's hovering around 50%. In fact, it seems women who do not approve are in the minority. *shock*

Of course, this survey has a +/- 100% accuracy ;)

-BB

[julie w]

my gf of 5years knows makes jokes but wont see me dressed , she has been
talking about buying a house together ,she said it will have to be big enough
for you to have somewhere to prance around in you pretty frocks! I dont
know how you rate that I would say knows but wish it would go away
anyway I have made it clear from the start it wont go away

[silkshirt]

I am very envious of girls who have partners who are able to share what they love to do. My partner is, as far as I know, totally unaware of my dressing and my love of all things feminine. Should she find out I think that would be the end of our relationship, which is now entering our 10th year together. Finding a site like this is a great outlet for my feelings, being able to talk to other like-minded girls is a great relief.

xx

[tracy_Trevor]

My S.O Penny is supportive and buys me dresses and other female clothes. She knows that when I am dressed i am less stressed. I have also dressed when her sister form Canada stayed with us for 3 weeks. Her sister is the same very supportive of me in all ways.


Tracy

[TeriAnn]

My wife is fully behind me when I dress or if we are out shopping. Blue Bird just totally blew me out of my pantyhose last night. She ask if we could go to the mall, she had something she wanted to get for me. It was an outfit that cost 70.00 problem was it did not fit me. We went to jcPenny and I showed her a dress that I had been looking at but didn't have the money to get. She bought it for me it was 65.00. I was dumbfounded and could not believe it. It is a black knee length evening dress with crystals around the middle. I am in hog heaven over it and I really do love her for doing such a wonderful thing as that.
I do believe that she is 100% supportive.:heehee: :D

[Lanore]

Single and not gay. I don't understand one thing. What does 'single due to crossdressing' really mean?

Lanore

[vicky lee]

at first my wife or should i say so was so supportive giveing me skirts and bras to put on but me wanting to go that much further just causes arguements
she says it makes her feel sick
but theres no problem now we have separated so im going for it as much as
possible its sad yes but but then again so is drab

[Susan Johnson]

I put knows but neutral. Its a bit more complicated than that though (isn't it always). I have been wearing panties full time since last year. Already had several pairs which wife was aware of but having gone on holiday not taking any femme clothing because I would not have a chance to wear it, I felt the need to wear femme underwear so we spent several days searching for the type I like, also bought blouses and skirts then this autumn purchased lots of makeup and several new wigs. all well and good, only thing is I am not permitted to go out from home 'dressed' and with grown up children liable to call it at anytime up to midnight or later, very little opportunity to dress at home either. (all the toys and no chance to play with them). She is not totally against me wearing as is obvious but she does not want anyone else to know.
Susan

[michellebesweet]

I have been with my SO for quit some time now, I love her dearly, she is my best friend, I do not think of anyone else, nor have I had relationships with anyone else. I have been crossdressing before we met and started living together. She found out by finding me home one day dressed, of course she freaked out, but we talk and somewhat worked things out. She knew something was going on with me, but thought it was someone else I was seeing. I know that she loves me, but don't think the trust is still there like it once was.

She has asked me to stop on several occations, and of course I said yes, but we all know, we need the panty, bra, and pantyhose feeling on our bodies. I don't know if it is some sort of addiction, but I love it, need it, and want more of it, all the time. I have tried to explain things to her as best that I can, but she knows I still do it, she knows where my stash of clothes are, but she has not left me, she has talked about it, but she is still with me. Maybe there is some hope that we can work this out. I would love for her to support me, but if she don't I would hope she would just look the other way and not let it come between our relationship.

She as never seen me in full dress with my makeup and wig, nor does she know I am online saying the things here. I think if she knew about this site and looked at it, she would pick me out and freak out again. Any advice from anyone would be helpful.

[tommi]

My wife is worried that our son will turn out this way ,I've told her if he does
it will have little to do with my dressing but I would hope she would accept
him any way.:o

[suzy]

My wife is accepting and supportive. She seems to be more accepting and supportive that I believe... recently she joined this forum, but doesn't post much.:o

[Paula G]

My wife recently found out and is supportive of my dressing but she only encourages it when she wants me dressed, otherwise she doesn't say anything either way.

[melissacd]

I wonder sometimes what life would be like if she wasn't.



Then your life would then be like mine, horrible, depressing, excruciatingly painful, sad...need I say more

[clairemarie]

Having just gotten out of a bad marriage, I did not want to start off without being completely honest about myself with my fiancé. Believe it or not, she was very accepting of my crossdressing. After we were married and for next few years she was very supportive. About two years ago while vacationing in the UK she told me she did want to see me dressed nor did she want to discuss my dressing. She said that as long as I kept it out-of-site she would be fine with it. This attitude has continued with no change.

Soon after being married we got involved with Sig Ep in Atlanta. She attended several meeting with me seeming to enjoy herself (I think she would love to hear from her friends Stephanie and Karen). She met several people and seemed to be very comfortable. During this time she wrote two very supportive articles for the groups newsletter, both being published in the Tri Ess magazine. This was about six years ago. I have now decided to rejoin Sig Ep without her and try to attend monthly meetings. I am not sure how this will impact our relationship, but I hope it will force some sort of dialogue. She hasn't said it but I am thinking someone in our circle of friends must have said something about crossdressing and now she is worried that I will be found out and she will be embarrassed.

Wish me luck.

Claire

[unclejoann]

Wife knows and isn't supportive. Out of 3 wives, one was sort of supportive. But current situation is that she only knows about the panties.

So, now I have a bf who is very accepting and encouraging, and he says that I should not expose that side to the wife at all. She will be happier with me if it goes away. I think he is right, and he is very supportive and likes me to be as girly as i want to be ... which slowly emerges with his encouragement.

But, I live with her and I want to dress up right now!

[Jocelyn Quivers]

SO is extremely supportive and caring of my femme side. Jocelyn

[Amy Hepker]

My GLady is accepting. At first she didn't know what it was, but after 5 years of being with me she knows now. She is really trying to accept me and even to the extent of talking with other SOs of Crossdressers. She is a wonderful Lady and is letting me go to Meetings and I can dress when we are together alone. I have my 12 year old son living with us, so I am restricted to times when I can do it. She won't force me to do it, but she will help. She has even bought me dresses and underwear. I would say she is very accepting. She is not sure about going out with me dressed though.

[Kelly Greene]

My wife has known since before we got married, she even helped me pickout a couped of tops at walmart.

[Roxi Loh]

My wife has known before we were married and was very encouraging of it. She has switched in the last couple of years which has left me hanging (lol) so to speak. I still dress when she is around but she does not participate or approve.

[Deanna2]

You missed a category - wife knows, isn't all that pleased about it, but tolerates it (on occasions).

[JulieC]

You missed a category - wife knows, isn't all that pleased about it, but tolerates it (on occasions).

I'd call that neutral :)

[Satrana]

I would love to see the SOs of those who replied asked the same question. I suspect the answers would be very different. I think crossdressers can be overly optimistic when describing their SO's acceptance. It seems to me most women, who do allow their men to crossdress on occasions, tolerate it more for the sake of the relationship rather than actually accept it.

I think the fact that only 1% of the membership of this forum are GGs gives a more accurate picture of the level of acceptance than this poll suggests.:2c:

[Marianna Julianna]

My wife knows, accepts and even asks me sometimes why I didn't dress when I had the chance, I take that as encouraging me. As long as I keep in behind our four walls she's fine with it all, but any suggestion of taking it outside and she vetos it. I have yet to find out how she'd feel about me going away somewhere and dressing, I think she'd be okay though, it's just she doesn't want the neighbours to know because it'd be bad for the boy if his friends and school knew. Seems reasonable to me.

[RobynM]

I voted "accepting" although I should really add "reluctantly" to that.
My wife doesn't like the situation and refuses to see me dressed but,taking time to assess my situation, we have come a long way in the three years since I spilled the beans. She comes shopping with me, sometimes picking stuff out she thinks I might like, sometimes standing back with mild amusement whilst I browse or toddle off to pay for my goodies- there is an unspoken agreement that I don't buy underwear when she's with me.
A spare bedroom has effectively been converted into my dressing room (at her suggestion) complete with generous clothes storage - she always phones if she is coming home earlier than expected, or later. Recently she has agreed to my finally getting rid of all that horrible leg & body hair and reckons she has got used to it.
All of this she lives with because she loves me and whilst I can never be completely happy unless/until I can live permantly as my true self I cannot walk away from someone prepared to give so much

[Sweet Cindy]

Very interresting.

Not sure what this poll was meant to accomplish (if anything) but it's scared the living hell out of me despite the optimistic and encouraging results.

As I read thru the posts, I become more and more conscious of my specific situation. My SO doesn't know and while we love each other and I hate hiding this from her, I'm almost convinced that she won't handle the news well. At all. It could cause a complete nervous breakdown and that's a risk I'm not sure I can take. We have a wonderful little family that I wouldn't jeopardize for the world.

All you girls who's SO considers your femme side while browsing thru the mall (or is "accepting" on even the slightest level) are the luckiest in the world. Spoil your wife daily, she's certainly spoiling you.

Cindy

[Marcie Sexton]

she know and accepts me & Marcie...or should I say Marcie and him:heehee:

[Cassy11]

My wife knows, is accepting and encouraging.

[Margot]

I would like to have both male and female friends to go out with. That does not mean jump into bed with either.
Margot

[Suzie Green]

My wife is 100% accepting, encouraging, and helping me to be the person I want to be. I can ask for nothing better. She's always been my best friend, and now even more so! :love:

[PatyR]

To be honest I didn't know what to answer.

My wife knows and allow me. Once I saw some beautiful short-heel shoes and she bought it for me.

Sometimes, it seems that she doesn't like to much, and some others it seems like she really enjoys it.

I believe that she is not sure. Once I saw her looking at me while I was fully dressed and she gave me a very special look. It made me feel great, after all later on, she told me that I looked gorgeous.