Rebecca-L
01-16-2007, 07:21 PM
I discovered this forum back in November and have been reading some of the discussions each day. As my wife disapproves of me dressing fully (or even wearing makeup), I don't get to go out much. On the few times in the past that I tried it (when she was away or I was on a trip), I would get read quickly, usually by teenagers.
My wife was away for 3 days last week, so I decided to try again. But this time, I followed the advice I had read here. Try to blend in, wear the same style clothes as the real women would be wearing, head up, smile, and be confident. It worked out great!
The first day I just stayed dressed only in the house, as some friends had invited me over for dinner.
The second day, I decided to "go for it". I got dressed and did my makeup. I had decided to go to a suburban mall and actually go through the doors. As it is rather cool here and most of the real women would be wearing slacks or jeans, I decided to go with the slacks. I drove to a small mall, parked the car, got out, and walked toward the door (more slowly than my normal male gait). There was another woman walking toward the door, but she was ahead of me, so I stayed back just a little. I walked up to the door, opened it and stepped in. There were 2 women walking my way. As they passed, they did not react negatively, so I continued on. I made it to the hallway intersection and looked down the main mall way. There were more people, so I decided to walk back to the car. I went to another entrance and again walked only as far as the main mall way before heading back.
My confidence was building, so I drove to a strip mall with several larger stores. I walked the length of the sidewalk, passing people going the other way. No negative reactions, so I was feeling pretty good about myself. At this time, it was beginning to get more crowded, so I decided to head home for a while.
After supper, I decided that I needed to try again and see if I could actually walk the mall. This time, I went to a major mall about 10 miles from my house. I parked my car (at the end away from the food court) and walked through the door. This time, the hallway was longer and there were more people. I simply held my head up, kept my back straight, and tried to remember to smile. I passed people going the other way, and they did not have any negative reactions. I headed for the escalator, and went up to the next floor. Then I went back down, and out to the car.
So far, the experience was good, so I went to an adjacent shopping complex (like a mall, but the stores are separate buildings). I parked the car, got out and started walking down the sidewalk in front of the stores. Now there were younger women walking toward me, but they just passed by. I headed back to the major mall, determined to actually walk the main hallway. I parked the car, and went in. I took the escalator up and then back down. This time, however, I did not go directly back to the car, but headed down the main hallway, trying to not attract attention with the sound of my heels. A middle-aged woman walked toward me, then smiled a friendly smile as we passed, and I smiled back. I continued past some 20-ish girls. They looked over, but then went back to their conversation. I kept going until I reached the other entrance, and walked out. It was getting late, so I headed home, feeling wonderful.
The third day (Friday), I decided that I would go to a (CD-friendly) consignment shop to see if they had any skirts in my size (since my wife's skirts don't fit me). I parked the car at the curb near the shop (on Main Street) and went into the store. The owner greeted me with a friendly "Hello" and I went back to the section with skirts and slacks. There was a woman shopping, but she only looked up for a moment. There was no real selection, so I left the store and headed to another outdoor mall.
Again, there were more people, but not crowds. I smiled, the women smiled back, and the only awkward moment was when another woman and I approached each other and did the little dance over which side of the sidewalk to pass on. We both smiled, and she laughed a little about it.
Now it was time to get serious. I decided that a visit to Dress Barn might be in order. I called ahead and asked if they would sell to a man dressed and made up as a woman. The manager said "Absolutely, why not?", so I asked about what time would be good. She suggested that they were not as busy in the evening so I should come in, shop, and "have fun". I showed up at about 6:30 and walked through the doors and went to the back of the store where there was a Sales Associate. I asked for the manager by name, using a quieter version of my voice, but not trying to disguise it very much. The manager came over, greeted me warmly, and asked how she could help. I explained that I wanted to get a skirt. She asked about my size, and I told her "maybe a 16 or 18???". They only carried up to 16, but said "Let's see what we can find and you can try them to see how they fit". "WOW!" While she was looking, I asked how I looked. She looked at me and said "You look fine". Another "WOW!". She found 3 skirts and unlocked a dressing room for me. I went in and started trying them on. The first was a little loose (how did that happen?), but the second and third fit well. She asked how they fit, so I opened the door and stepped out, wearing the third skirt. She complemented me on it, but I said that the second one I tried was more to my liking so I tried it on and came back out. She praised my selection and asked if there was anything else I wanted to look at. I asked about slacks and she went looking while I looked at myself in the 3-way mirrors. The skirt really did fit well. (By the way, other customers had come in and were also shopping, but no one seemed to care about me. One woman looked right at me but went back to shopping.) The manager came back with some slacks, and I tried them on. One pair fit really well, but was too long. She suggested that it could be taken up, or I could wear taller heels. I suggested that maybe the 3 inch heels I had on were tall enough. Another pair fit wonderfully and felt great. They were exactly the right length, so I decided to take them and the skirt. There was a woman in line behind me at the counter, and only looked over when I asked a question of the manager as I walked away. I changed into the new slacks and left the store 45 minutes after arriving. I decided I needed a belt to go with the slacks, so I went into another clothing store near Dress Barn. No one gave me more than a passing glance as I walked in and looked at the belts. Nothing I liked. Then I went into Lane Bryant as asked an SA if they had a belt that would go with the slacks (using my toned down voice). She showed me the belts on sale, then the rest of the belts. Nothing was appropriate, so I thanked her and left. Next, I went to Marshalls to see what they had. Lots of people, but no good belts.
It was time to try going back to the major mall and actually walk into a store. I drove up to the mall and noticed teenagers standing by the main door. Well, a side door might be better. I went in a side door, down the hall, and up the escalator. More teenagers. I started to walk down the main hall and there were even more. When a teenaged girl almost crashed into me, she apologized. I smiled back and walked into Lord & Taylor. I took the escalator down and went out to the car, deciding this end of the mall was not comfortable. Macy's is at the other end, so I parked there and went in, took the escalator up and walked the length of the mall. More teenagers, but no problems. I took the escalator down and went back to Macy's. The entrance I needed was at the perfume and makeup counters, but the only reaction was a friendly "Hello" from an SA as I passed within 2 feet of her.
When I got home, I called the Dress Barn manager to thank her once again. She said "No problem, come on back in anytime you want." I commented that I hoped I had not disturbed any of the customers, and she replied "I don't think anyone noticed." A third "WOW!". What a wonderful day!
I know this is a long story, but I believe the difference between this experience and previous ones was the advice I read here. Blend in, head up, smile, slow down, and good posture. That's why I want to extend a very grateful "Thank you" to those whose advice I read over the previous 2 months.
Thank you.
My wife was away for 3 days last week, so I decided to try again. But this time, I followed the advice I had read here. Try to blend in, wear the same style clothes as the real women would be wearing, head up, smile, and be confident. It worked out great!
The first day I just stayed dressed only in the house, as some friends had invited me over for dinner.
The second day, I decided to "go for it". I got dressed and did my makeup. I had decided to go to a suburban mall and actually go through the doors. As it is rather cool here and most of the real women would be wearing slacks or jeans, I decided to go with the slacks. I drove to a small mall, parked the car, got out, and walked toward the door (more slowly than my normal male gait). There was another woman walking toward the door, but she was ahead of me, so I stayed back just a little. I walked up to the door, opened it and stepped in. There were 2 women walking my way. As they passed, they did not react negatively, so I continued on. I made it to the hallway intersection and looked down the main mall way. There were more people, so I decided to walk back to the car. I went to another entrance and again walked only as far as the main mall way before heading back.
My confidence was building, so I drove to a strip mall with several larger stores. I walked the length of the sidewalk, passing people going the other way. No negative reactions, so I was feeling pretty good about myself. At this time, it was beginning to get more crowded, so I decided to head home for a while.
After supper, I decided that I needed to try again and see if I could actually walk the mall. This time, I went to a major mall about 10 miles from my house. I parked my car (at the end away from the food court) and walked through the door. This time, the hallway was longer and there were more people. I simply held my head up, kept my back straight, and tried to remember to smile. I passed people going the other way, and they did not have any negative reactions. I headed for the escalator, and went up to the next floor. Then I went back down, and out to the car.
So far, the experience was good, so I went to an adjacent shopping complex (like a mall, but the stores are separate buildings). I parked the car, got out and started walking down the sidewalk in front of the stores. Now there were younger women walking toward me, but they just passed by. I headed back to the major mall, determined to actually walk the main hallway. I parked the car, and went in. I took the escalator up and then back down. This time, however, I did not go directly back to the car, but headed down the main hallway, trying to not attract attention with the sound of my heels. A middle-aged woman walked toward me, then smiled a friendly smile as we passed, and I smiled back. I continued past some 20-ish girls. They looked over, but then went back to their conversation. I kept going until I reached the other entrance, and walked out. It was getting late, so I headed home, feeling wonderful.
The third day (Friday), I decided that I would go to a (CD-friendly) consignment shop to see if they had any skirts in my size (since my wife's skirts don't fit me). I parked the car at the curb near the shop (on Main Street) and went into the store. The owner greeted me with a friendly "Hello" and I went back to the section with skirts and slacks. There was a woman shopping, but she only looked up for a moment. There was no real selection, so I left the store and headed to another outdoor mall.
Again, there were more people, but not crowds. I smiled, the women smiled back, and the only awkward moment was when another woman and I approached each other and did the little dance over which side of the sidewalk to pass on. We both smiled, and she laughed a little about it.
Now it was time to get serious. I decided that a visit to Dress Barn might be in order. I called ahead and asked if they would sell to a man dressed and made up as a woman. The manager said "Absolutely, why not?", so I asked about what time would be good. She suggested that they were not as busy in the evening so I should come in, shop, and "have fun". I showed up at about 6:30 and walked through the doors and went to the back of the store where there was a Sales Associate. I asked for the manager by name, using a quieter version of my voice, but not trying to disguise it very much. The manager came over, greeted me warmly, and asked how she could help. I explained that I wanted to get a skirt. She asked about my size, and I told her "maybe a 16 or 18???". They only carried up to 16, but said "Let's see what we can find and you can try them to see how they fit". "WOW!" While she was looking, I asked how I looked. She looked at me and said "You look fine". Another "WOW!". She found 3 skirts and unlocked a dressing room for me. I went in and started trying them on. The first was a little loose (how did that happen?), but the second and third fit well. She asked how they fit, so I opened the door and stepped out, wearing the third skirt. She complemented me on it, but I said that the second one I tried was more to my liking so I tried it on and came back out. She praised my selection and asked if there was anything else I wanted to look at. I asked about slacks and she went looking while I looked at myself in the 3-way mirrors. The skirt really did fit well. (By the way, other customers had come in and were also shopping, but no one seemed to care about me. One woman looked right at me but went back to shopping.) The manager came back with some slacks, and I tried them on. One pair fit really well, but was too long. She suggested that it could be taken up, or I could wear taller heels. I suggested that maybe the 3 inch heels I had on were tall enough. Another pair fit wonderfully and felt great. They were exactly the right length, so I decided to take them and the skirt. There was a woman in line behind me at the counter, and only looked over when I asked a question of the manager as I walked away. I changed into the new slacks and left the store 45 minutes after arriving. I decided I needed a belt to go with the slacks, so I went into another clothing store near Dress Barn. No one gave me more than a passing glance as I walked in and looked at the belts. Nothing I liked. Then I went into Lane Bryant as asked an SA if they had a belt that would go with the slacks (using my toned down voice). She showed me the belts on sale, then the rest of the belts. Nothing was appropriate, so I thanked her and left. Next, I went to Marshalls to see what they had. Lots of people, but no good belts.
It was time to try going back to the major mall and actually walk into a store. I drove up to the mall and noticed teenagers standing by the main door. Well, a side door might be better. I went in a side door, down the hall, and up the escalator. More teenagers. I started to walk down the main hall and there were even more. When a teenaged girl almost crashed into me, she apologized. I smiled back and walked into Lord & Taylor. I took the escalator down and went out to the car, deciding this end of the mall was not comfortable. Macy's is at the other end, so I parked there and went in, took the escalator up and walked the length of the mall. More teenagers, but no problems. I took the escalator down and went back to Macy's. The entrance I needed was at the perfume and makeup counters, but the only reaction was a friendly "Hello" from an SA as I passed within 2 feet of her.
When I got home, I called the Dress Barn manager to thank her once again. She said "No problem, come on back in anytime you want." I commented that I hoped I had not disturbed any of the customers, and she replied "I don't think anyone noticed." A third "WOW!". What a wonderful day!
I know this is a long story, but I believe the difference between this experience and previous ones was the advice I read here. Blend in, head up, smile, slow down, and good posture. That's why I want to extend a very grateful "Thank you" to those whose advice I read over the previous 2 months.
Thank you.