should i go to my friends wedding as a woman?

[Hermione Simpson]

my friends just told me thats she's getting married in june, & she's invited me to the wedding, but should i go dressed as a man or as a woman (she & her partner knows & accepts that i'm a crossdresser), if you say as a woman what should i wear, i'm 24

[Sandra]

I take it you would prefer to go as Hermione? if so then I would asked them if they would be ok with it.

[Kate Simmons]

Here's a small point. If you receive an invitation, I would go as the person it's addressed to. That's how they will want you to attend.:happy:

[RachelDenise]

Remember it's their day. I would talk to them and ask what they expect. If you routinely are around them as a woman and they accept that, then it might be OK.

[Joy Carter]

Remember it's their day. I would talk to them and ask what they expect. If you routinely are around them as a woman and they accept that, then it might be OK.

Yeah I agree. You wouldn't want to draw undue attention to yourself. May even cause trouble when the drinks start to flow.

[Andrea_girl]

At your friends wedding all the attention should be on the bride.

I would go as yourself.

You may be able to dress for the evening do. Ask her See what she says

Andrea
XX

[Tina Dixon]

Wear your sexy undies under your suit, there day saved.

[Lisa Golightly]

I wouldn't unless specifically asked. Parties I don't care about, but events like weddings and funerals I kind of go androgynus out of respect.

[RobertaFermina]

Dearie Me!

How would you go if this were YOUR WEDDING?

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[Amy Hepker]

I think you should ask them since they know of your CD side. Let them make that decission, they may have people there that are really RED about CDers.

[Jodie_Lynn]

It is your friends day. She is the one that all attention should be on.

In my opinion ( for what it is worth), unless you are currently dressing 24/7, I'd leave the party dress at home.

:)

[Wendy me]

you know i love those threads .... should i do this or that.... and you come here to ask ... i think you know the answer to your question ...but if you don't know the answer that scares the hell out of me......

[lowlavalentine]

Her wedding day is all about her. If she and her other guests would be accepting of you attending as a woman and it wouldn't be distracting from the wedding festivities then I'd go dress shopping immediately. If there was the potential for your womanly presence distracting from the event then boy mode would probably be advisable. It's a frank discussion you need to have with her and her maid of honor and bridesmaids. The other female members of her wedding party might be able to offer insight.

[Cyndie]

No, this is one of those questions that "if you have to ask, you know the answer". It is there day to be in the spotlight. If you dressed 24/7 and everyone there knew you as a girl, it may be OK. Put on your best panties, stockings and unpadded bra and go in male mode. Sit there and dream of being one of the bridesmaids while knowing that you are wearing nicer lingerie than any one of them:happy:

TTFN
Cyndie

[JenniferR771]

Go Go! What an opportunity! It won't happen again. Pretty dress, get your hair done, manicure, special event makeup.
Agreed you don't want to be a distraction. How many of the guests know you? Are you somewhat passable? Can you sit in the back, not talk and not be noticed?
If you go to the reception--think ahead--will you be seated with an unfamiliar guy? Will you drink? Use the bathroom? Will kids point at you? Will you have to do the chicken dance? Will you be asked to dance polkas by drunk men? Maybe you need a partner to help you out of certain situations.

[Stephenie S]

This is simple. If you won't be a distraction, go dressed. It is impolite in the extreme to take any attention away from the bride. If you will attract ANY attention, leave the dress at home. Weddings are for the bride.

Lovies,
Steph

[Cheery GG]

Absolutely under no circumstances should you go dressed.....well in some clothees of course but definatley male.

A wedding is not the time or place ! period !

em
x

[tommi]

how many people there know especially families of the couple , grandparents
aunts and uncles. Went to a wedding years ago with a friend her aunt and
female live in showed up the mother of the bride chased them out of church
with bucket of holy water in hand , funny at the time sad now looking back on it.:love: Mind the wishes of the couple and family members but if they
are Ok with it LBD time

[TxKimberly]

my friends just told me thats she's getting married in june, & she's invited me to the wedding, but should i go dressed as a man or as a woman (she & her partner knows & accepts that i'm a crossdresser), if you say as a woman what should i wear, i'm 24
The first thing I asked myself is what did they say when the invited you? Regardless of what they know about you, if they didn't specifically say "it's OK to come dressed" then don't do it. Even if they care enough for you to make this offer, I'd have to think twice about it.
This is their once in a life time, dreamed about it all their life event, and not a time for you to make it your event.
Kim

[carolinebrookes]

Okay here goes,

Last year, I went to a civil ceremony of a pair of friends of mines as Caroline.
The difference here was that the happy couple were tv/tg and had specifically asked friends to come en femme or as male for the f to m.

So as the couple know me as Caroline and all our other friends as girls too, then that was acceptable and we all had a ball.

I would suggest that unless you have been invited enfemme, that you may want to go as your male self out of respect for the bride and groom. It is after all their day. It is understandably, exciting to think that you could go enfemme but maybe you could just satisfy yourself by wearing underwear?

Only you know the answer to this one, but do remember this day is not about you. You should also consider what other guests may feel. It's all part of the package.

Good luck and have fun anyway what ever you decide.

Caroline x

[Susiegirl]

Go as your male self because as they may be comfortable with your female look the majority of thier guests will proably not. You don't want to become a distraction

[Charolette time]

No, this is one of those questions that "if you have to ask, you know the answer". It is there day to be in the spotlight. If you dressed 24/7 and everyone there knew you as a girl, it may be OK. Put on your best panties, stockings and unpadded bra and go in male mode. Sit there and dream of being one of the bridesmaids while knowing that you are wearing nicer lingerie than any one of them:happy:

TTFN
Cyndie

Cyndie said to dream about being a brides maid, did she ask you too be one , that would be a real thrill, as you go so goes you, dress accordingly to the invitation, :heehee: My :2c: Charolette

[Dominique Melt]

Not much to add, but I agree with the people recommending you stand down and enjoy the party as their male friend, in male attire. It is, after all, their day.
Discretion is the better part of valor [and good taste].

[Ranee Daze]

As someone who has attended hundreds of weddings I must say that Murphy's Law reins supreme at these events. Anything that can go wrong surely will with all of the excitement, emotions, family interaction etc. Your dressing only opens another back door for Mr. Murphy to enter and to poison the day, their day in fact. You have no right to expose their perfect day of days to any sort of turbulence which might arise from your choice of gender presentation that day.
Smarten up. Surely you could take a day off for a friend!

[Kieron Andrew]

who was the invitation addressed to him or her? will most of the guests be accepting of CD'ers......will the limelight be taken off the bride if everyone is talking about 'the cder in the corner'.........

no i dont think you should go en femme unless the bride specifically told you to do so......and somehow i dont think she has, so therefore go as him......you dont want the brides big day ruined just cos everyone is paying you more attention and maybe unwanted attention at that

[Penny]

you know i love those threads .... should i do this or that.... and you come here to ask ... i think you know the answer to your question ...but if you don't know the answer that scares the hell out of me......
Me too!
Or perhaps you were just looking for members to give you the wrong answer so that would make going dressed inappropriately allright. If that is the case, I don't think you got it!
If you ask me, and you did, go male. Just because they know and accept you doesn't mean everyone else will. If you spoil the day, they may not even accept you as a friend let alone CD.

:rolleyes:

Penny

[amanda barber]

my friends just told me thats she's getting married in june, & she's invited me to the wedding, but should i go dressed as a man or as a woman (she & her partner knows & accepts that i'm a crossdresser), if you say as a woman what should i wear, i'm 24

It's between you and a wedding couple. You don't have to answer to the guests.

[carla smith]

I think this is the point...they want you at the wedding.....dress as what is expected...and if you can't figure that out...it's ok....just ask! It will probably releive the couple to know how you will be dressed...if it is a concern...if you do not know...ask!

Have fun out there!

[Ginger62]

Hi Hermione,

Speaking from experience, it would be in very poor taste to attend your friends' wedding en femme. However accepting they are of you and your crossdressing, this is her day to be focused on entirely. Underdressing is HIGHLY suggested here. You never know, you just may meet one of her friends and hit it off. If you were dressed, then that certain someone may have second thoughts before getting to know you better.

For what it's worth gurlfriend.

Hugs,

Ginger

[Amanda Jane]

ask the bride, she is the only one that matters, if its cool with her, then do the plain, simple, and expensive deal and have a good time.

[Lovely Rita]

I would ask them. It is their day and you want everything to go well.

IMO

[Jasmine Ellis]

I think not...........its their day and all eyes should be on them

[Andrea Nicole]

Hi,
No matter what the brides says, and even if she said she approved of you attending dressed, it might only be to not hurt your feelings.

Your question alone is the answer.
1) How should I go ... dressed ... if your that unsure .... go as your real gender.
2) What should you wear....well, if you don't know what to wear to a wedding......enough said.

Please let the bride have her day, don't put her on the spot by MAKING her decide how you should come dressed....very inconsiderate.
Don't be a spectacle on her special day .... have your day out dressed at some other occasion ....
Take Care,
Andi...

[Amanda Jane]

I do like that "if you don't know what to wear then enough said"

[Hermione Simpson]

Most of you've said I should go to the wedding as my male self, so should I ask her if I could to her hen party as Hermione, then I won't cause embarrassment at the wedding.

[Kate Simmons]

Most of you've said I should go to the wedding as my male self, so should I ask her if I could to her hen party as Hermione, then I won't cause embarrassment at the wedding.There is a lot to consider Hon. I just figured if the invitation was to your male self, then that is how I would attend the wedding out of respect of their request. It is their day and as most have said, you wouldn't want to cast any negative feelings there with the friends and family even if they are okay with it. As far as the Bridal shower, I believe the Maid of honor usually arranges that. You may want to ask your friend what she feels about it. I know I would certainly be thrilled to go as Ericka. It's one of those things I always felt left out of while fulfilling my guy role. A lot of joy and fun for sure. Hope things work out well.:happy:

[Raychel]

There is a time and a place to CD. A wedding is niether the time or the place. Let them have thier day and go as a guy.

[darling_felicity]

I can't say anyhting that improves upon the wisdom already spoken by my sisters.

Enjoy the day.

Luv, Felicity.

[tommi]

Most of you've said I should go to the wedding as my male self, so should I ask her if I could to her hen party as Hermione, then I won't cause embarrassment at the wedding.

That could be the best idea and think of some of the great insight you can get watching what all the gg do and how they behave.

[suzy]

I think you need to ask the person who invited you....and then feel for the mood...it just depends but the wedding day needs to remain focused on the bride!:D

[crossing-the-rain]

Remember it's their day. I would talk to them and ask what they expect. If you routinely are around them as a woman and they accept that, then it might be OK.
This is also my suggestion.
Rain.

[Angie G]

Hermione I would ask them it may be OK to dress9just don't lookbeter then the bride :hugs:
Angie

[melissaK]

At your friends wedding all the attention should be on the bride.

:iagree: Never upstage the bride. If you do, people will talk about you.

Well really we need more facts to help with the decision but here's some ideas:

(1) Since you are asking us here, I suspect you are not Frank Marino and you don't pass 100%.

A local wedding reception hall in my town was/is run by a MTF/CDer (never asked her the details). She dressed nice but didn't pass well. I went to one reception there and everyone gossiped about her as much as the happy couple. Sad, but it's reality.

So if you get made easily, then ask what kind of gift to your friends is that? To make yourself the center of conversation rather than them.

(2) And I don't think you should ask your friends for permission. You'd be putting them on the hot spot and basically saying "So, how good a friend are you to me?" That's not fair.

(3) If they are average folks and have a pretty "straight" family tree, they have to consider what their new "inlaws" and other new extended family memebers are going to say about them, and if you are more the grooms friend than the brides, or vice versa, you invite judgment upon them based upon you. What kind of wedding gift is that?

But, if your friends are really close and you are like family, i.e. you spend thanksgiving/Christmas with them and cross dress at family functions, etc... then we could assume all judgments have already been made and who cares.

Or, if your friends have a passal of GLBT friends and/or immediate family who is well accepted, then once again we could assume all judgments have already been made and who cares.

(4) And lastly, they always take pictures at these sort of affairs, so be prepared. If you go en femme, the world is a changing place, but the old rule was flashy party cocktail dresses are a no-no for anyone not in the wedding party. My wife and I have had a long debate over whether any girl or woman should ever wear a red dress to such an affair - we're pretty staid I guess. But, I'd at least have your hair/wig professionally styled and schedule a make-over session so you can go from there to the wedding/reception looking your absolute passing best. Keep a compact in your purse and check for lipstick on your teeth ahead of time. :happy:

Hugs
'lissa

[Julie York]

Well if you ask me, this question just sounds like a cry for help.



But I strongly suggest that you go to the hen party first. Drunk women are very welcoming and once they see you are a genuine crossdresser they'll probably open up and help you with make-up and so on. In fact, they may even lend you clothes and make suggestions about what to wear for the wedding. If I were you I'd go to the hen night anyway whether you were invited or not, and then they'll all be prepared to see you on your big day.



I do hope my suggestions have been helpful.










(:tongueout )

[Bridget Fitzgerald]

Absolutely under no circumstances should you go dressed.....well in some clothees of course but definatley male.

A wedding is not the time or place ! period !

em
x


ditto that

[Marcie Sexton]

I assume < and we all know what tha can make of us >, she know you dress.
If in deed you two are friends and respect each other, ASK, if she would mind...Just remember she isn't the only one to consider...JUST MY :2c:

[Melinda G]

I would go as a guy, and do "my thing" later, somewhere else. Just my two cents.:2c:

[janedoe311]

You would not want to unset her at this time.
You never know she might let you be one of the brides maids! They wear beautiful gowns!

[Cassy11]

This is the happy couples day, not your comming out party.They may know you and accept but what about the other guests and the wedding party. Don't distract from the bride. You wouldn't want to be the one who turned a lovely wedding day into a circus.