For those that have told your partners

[loki_uk]

One thought that lingers is that I'm afraid of is being seen as a different person if she knew about my tranny side, not just the fear of rejection but that you wouldn't be seen as the same person again

So after the initial shock, did your relationship change or does she still see you as the same man she met ?

[Joy Carter]

One thought that lingers is that I'm afraid of is being seen as a different person if she knew about my tranny side, not just the fear of rejection but that you wouldn't be seen as the same person again

So after the initial shock, did your relationship change or does she still see you as the same man she met ?

I can't define it but there is something going on with her. When I try to talk to her she ends up crying. She tells me that this TG thing is so against all that she believes in. She did fire a broadside at me that hurt for quite a while. She told me that had she known she wouldn't have gotten involved with me. God did I really know what was going on with me at the age of nineteen ? We are OK though. I think we are a little closer now. Just wish I knew how to talk about it without the emotional upset.

[Brenda Love]

I have the same fears loki,that's why I don't think I will ever come out to my wife.

Hugs
Brenda

[Christina Nicole]

It changes things. Even when it doesn't surface in conversation, you know it's in the back of her mind. Plus, it's one more thing she can use against you when she's angry and feeling mean. I can't see giving a wife one more thing to use against her husband. Bad enough that she'll hammer you for everything down to forgetting your six month anniversary when you were dating, but being TG? Yow!

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[Cherry Lynn]

I guess I am a lucky one because my wife is supportive and even encourages me to dress. She has gone through some phases but we worked it out. The only thing she has trouble with is me going out in public.

[suchacutie]

This is a complex question because it involves the dynamic of an interpersonal relationship. Given that, the answer, I think, must be defined in terms of the relationship.

My wife says that she is honored that I would divulge and discuss in detail this very personal in intimate part of me, a part that we, thus, get to explore together as we discover Tina. My wife is tremendously analytical and part of her fun is watching me trying to analyze the facets that make Tina what she is.

At the same time, she is assured that I enjoy (very much) being a male. I have no intention of giving up what she expects of her mate, at all levels. She is also assured that Tina is a shared project, with shared decisions, none of which will tread on the relationship. She is assured that there is no facet of Tina that is more important than my wife.

So, in that context, Tina has incredible flexibility, freedom, acceptance, and encouragement.

It's all in context!

[linnea]

I have the same fears too, but I may still decide to come out to my wife.


I have the same fears loki,that's why I don't think I will ever come out to my wife.

Hugs
Brenda

[SuzyZahn]

I`m one of the lucky girls (so far) in that I have a supportive ,understanding wife,,,matter of fact bought me a new skirt yesterday on her own!!!,,,The bottom line here I feel is that you have to really love each other and reassure and show your wife that no matter what you look like on the outside,,,You are you,,,its part of whom you are,,,just like some men like to hang in bars,,,go fishing,,or skiing,,or bowling,,,you just prefer a quiet nite enfemme,,,take it slow,,,let her digest things abit and always reassure your love and commitments to her,,,,,part of my :2c:

[EricaCD]

you would have to ask Helene, really...

[SandyR]

I am one of the lucky girls. Before I could tell my wife she just out of noware asked me if I was a crossdresser. I said "yes". She said "do like wearing pantyhose?". I said "YEAH!". Her reply was "they feel nice huh". So, its been some bumps, but all in all she is supportive! I think she is a bit taken back by my shaving leggs, chest, ect. One day at a time. I think the key is to just take it slowwwww.......

Huggs.

SandyR

[TxKimberly]

For me, yes things changed some, but not in a bad way. Once I told my wife, I felt changed. Once you have told your wife that you cross dress, and the world doesn't end, there isn't much that you wouldnt consider sharing with her - I mean that's about as honest and up front as you can get. So yes things changed for me - she knew my deepest and darkest secret and it didn't matter to her.

Kim

[SandyR]

You hit the nail on the head. Things did change, little stuff. Like when we shop and look for shoes, she will give me the eye like "those would lookl good on you too". I think its for the good! Like I said, I am one of the lucky girls.

SandyR

[courtney44]

I guess that I may be one of the lucky ones. I told my girlfriend some time ago and she took it very well. When I dress up, she helps me and not long after she was told, she went with me shopping and got me some new tops and a new skirt. I suppose that knowing that she is bi helps being more open. Some days she even tells me to go enjoy myself dressing up. :hugs:

Courtney44

[GinaVegas]

Well okay.....I didn't exactly tell my wife, she found out by finding photos of me dressed in a skirt and heels on the computer. I didn't tell her during our 8 years of marriage possibly because of rejection and/or being ashamed.

I can tell you that I am glad that it is finally out in the open now, but it'll still take her some time to get used to the whole thing (she just found out in November). However, we have had sex a few times with me wearing heels and/or with a skirt, and she didn't have a problem with it.

Gina

[Lindsay]

One thought that lingers is that I'm afraid of is being seen as a different person if she knew about my tranny side, not just the fear of rejection but that you wouldn't be seen as the same person again

So after the initial shock, did your relationship change or does she still see you as the same man she met ?

I think, as others have said, it depends on the kind of relationship you have with your partner. And it also depends on how *you* handle it.

What I mean by that is, when I told my partner (now, wife) about CDing, she was cool with it - but I didn't immediately run upstairs, get changed into a french maid outfit and burst into the front room shouting "look at meeee! I'm a laydeeeeee!" :-D It took a long, long time between first talking about it ("I'm cool with it, but I don't think I want to be involved with it") to accepting it and ultimately, having a great deal of fun with it.

I think it helped that she knew from very early in our relationship (third date) so she knew my Big Scary Secret from the very beginning. And I do think the less shocking you can make the announcement, the easier the whole thing will be. Better to out yourself verbally, to have a proper talk about it, than to have her discover your secret by accident. And don't expect immediate enthusiasm, even if your partner is really open-minded.

[mary sue]

I am one of the fortunate ones also my wife accepts it and will help me as long as its at home I dont think she wants to be out with a bearded lady. We share everything I an truly blessed.

[Raychel]

I would say that after the initial shock and tears, now some 2 years later that all is the same. Only difference is I don't have to hide from her anymore. I still have to be a bit descreet around the kids. But my wife knows everything. And she still thinks of me as the same person.

:hugs: :hugs:

[michellebesweet]

I have been with my SO for quit some time now, I love her dearly, she is my best friend, I do not think of anyone else, nor have I had relationships with anyone else. I have been crossdressing before we met and started living together. She found out by finding me home one day dressed, of course she freaked out, but we talk and somewhat worked things out. She knew something was going on with me, but thought it was someone else I was seeing. I know that she loves me, but don't think the trust is still there like it once was.

She has asked me to stop on several occations, and of course I said yes, but we all know, we need the panty, bra, and pantyhose feeling on our bodies. I don't know if it is some sort of addiction, but I love it, need it, and want more of it, all the time. I have tried to explain things to her as best that I can, but she knows I still do it, she knows where my stash of clothes are, but she has not left me, she has talked about it, but she is still with me. Maybe there is some hope that we can work this out. I would love for her to support me, but if she don't I would hope she would just look the other way and not let it come between our relationship.

She as never seen me in full dress with my makeup and wig, nor does she know I am online saying the things here. I think if she knew about this site and looked at it, she would pick me out and freak out again. Any advice from anyone would be helpful.

[Emily Ann Brown]

I am NOT one of the lucky ones......separated and probably divorcing. I couldn't even wear my pink oxford shirt after she knew without a fight. Everything went out the window......trust, respect......and we won't even talk about the looks when passing the ladies section in WalMart.

Yes Joy....mine told me the "if I'd known then" speech too.


Emily Ann

[suzy]

What changed with my wife is that now she enjoys shopping more with me and gives me the cute little grin, :You'd look cute in this" grin....as we shop. Certainly has been for the better... I worry too much about if she is alright with it....sometimes she tells me again... "I'm fine with it!"...so I need to loosen up some....:o Meanwhile, I am having the time of my life....and am supported by my wonderful wife.:D

[Angie G]

Loki I think my wife still sees her husband and a maybe a little bit of a girlfriend :hugs:
Angie

[Bluebird GG]

for me it didnt change the person it only personified the person more, brought out the better person within to be more compassionate and understanding, whatever can help a person be mentally sound and alive i am all for that, i would never forbid someone to not do their thing at my own expense, so anyways if a person comes out its all good it just reveal the inner beauty of a budding flower waiting to bloom within, being a cd'er doesnt change the person for the bad it only enchances the soul from within thats from my perspective.:happy:

[Lovely Rita]

One thought that lingers is that I'm afraid of is being seen as a different person if she knew about my tranny side, not just the fear of rejection but that you wouldn't be seen as the same person again

So after the initial shock, did your relationship change or does she still see you as the same man she met ?


I really can relate to your question because this was the main reason I did not tell her for many years. I did not want to lose the person I was in her eyes. She found my credit card statements showing purchases of Wigs and Hi heels and so the gig was up. It was a terrible day. Emotions flying everywhere. Needless to say we got through it. She was actually relieved that the items were for me and not another woman.

I probably will not be the same in her eyes, but at leaste I am more the person I trully am and that is invaluable. The Joy and the liberation, the relief from hiding and machination. Not having to keep hiding places but instead share something that is so dear to me.

If I only knew then what I know now. I would have done it sooner. I had built a masculine monument with overcompensation to hide my feminine side.

no more. I can still be her man as well and that has been enhanced as well.

My story is not everyone's story and I know that the danger of things not working out is probably more likely, so I say really think about what you want to do. Go through the worst case scenario and think about whether you can live with it.

[Stacy GG]

What changed with my wife is that now she enjoys shopping more with me and gives me the cute little grin, :You'd look cute in this" grin....as we shop. Certainly has been for the better... I worry too much about if she is alright with it....sometimes she tells me again... "I'm fine with it!"...so I need to loosen up some....:o Meanwhile, I am having the time of my life....and am supported by my wonderful wife.:D

wow I have that experience alot point out something to elly, give her the it would look cute on you grin and almost always she passes it up..unless it's blue . LOL :D

[Marcie Sexton]

Change would be a mild under statement !!! When I first came out to my wife, I was met with indifference, maybe tolerance would be a better word...I suppose that this tolerance strwed into resentment or something in that area and she DEMANDED that I choose between my "sick" obsession or her and my son...I did I quit dressing. For well over a year I never allowed it to enter my mind, I sunk in to my work as a diversion, this diversion took its toll on me, her and the family. We tolerated each other, all the things that a "loving" couple are suppose to share suffered. We were more or less just married for convience.

Turn the page to November 2006

On my birthday my wife brought me a birthday present that was in a big box and I really had no idea what it could be. When I opened it at her insistance, it was all the clothing, wigs, makeup and girlie girl things I had...For some unknown reason she had worked things out personally and figured it would be better to see Marcie than to live in a dead relationship...We had our little talk about my dressing, and she frankly told me she wanted her husband back, no matter if she had to share him with Marcie, so long as Marcie was the only person she had to share me with...

Turn the page to now !!!

Now we openly discuss my dressing, she bought me a couple of outfits for Christmas, although admittingly tought for her. Today we have circled the wagons, our love has come back stronger that ever before, perhaps more so than I ever loved her the day I said "I do". Yesterday we went out shopping, she took me back to the ladies department bought me some bikini cut panties, a coulpe new bras, < she says mine are worn out >. She has ordered me a pair of mid calf boots, makes suggestions on my makeup, and show me fashions that she thinks I'd look good in...Yep we get all the magizines that cater to the gg's< no offense > fashions.

So yea I'd say my relationship has changed...from a living hell asking why I came out, to resentment, back to an open loving relationship that continues to grow each and every day:love: ...Looking back it wasn't easy, done a lot of second guessing about some decisions I made, but now I wouldn't change a thing...I consider it an investment in life...and the dividends are paying big time...I just hope every one can realize what I have...their SO/wife love them for better or worse...in my opinion, now there is no worse only better to look forward to...:hugs:

[Sandra]

I see Nigella as the man I met after all under all the clothes that is what she is a man.

[gennee]

I'm still the same person my spouse married 26 years ago. She understands that Gennee is just another part of me.

Gennee

:gorgeous:

[jillwadden]

I came out to my wife just a few months ago.The reason I did was because I knew that I was going to go bonkers trying to hide all the time.I knew that this was so much a part of me that it simply could not be denied and hiding it from her was being dishonest.I asked myself,"Do I want to remain in the closet and be unhappy ,or tell her and hope she understands with the risk of her leaving?" .I chose the latter.A word of caution: I KNEW SHE LOVED ME.Make sure you know too.
By the way,it was the smartest thing I've ever done.

Good luck,Honey,
Jill

[Tracy_Victoria]

I see Nigella as the man I met after all under all the clothes that is what she is a man.

How very true, and a fact that seems often to be forgotten!

At the end of the day, I'm a guy, I love being a guy, and I enjoy Guy things, Crossdressing is just a bit of fun to me, CDing is just a bit of fun to me, but even if it was not the case, in my eyes, with all the SRS available, I would still not be a girl. So it's a good Job I'm a guy and happy with it!

[Tracy_Victoria]

One thought that lingers is that I'm afraid of is being seen as a different person if she knew about my tranny side, not just the fear of rejection but that you wouldn't be seen as the same person again

So after the initial shock, did your relationship change or does she still see you as the same man she met ?

I hope my partner (Raksha) and i'm sure she does, just knows that I'm me! I told her about my dressing long before we got serious, it was the two things I never wanted to do to her, ie Lie, and hide things. When I told her I was absolutely besotted with her, and still am, but I would rather have given her up, than have to lie and hide this from her.

We still have our problems, we have good times and bad times over my dressing, but I prefer how we are, because at least I can be honest, and I know she is with me. Part of the problem is I know that she still struggles to see me dressed, therefore clearly she does not see me in the same light when dressed as Tracy. We're still looking for a way forward, hopefully one day we will find it, but if not at least We know, and at least I don't need to be covert.

[Melinda]

Well, I'm right in the middle of it, came out last week, went to a TG friendly counselor last night and got my own reassurance that I'm not transsexual, just a guy in a dress. My wife is trying very hard to understand and accept. It hasn't been easy so far but could be a lot worse. I was so terrified that she would leave and take my son that I broke down in tears, something I can't remember doing since I was a child. She is just such a kind, loving, loyal person that I sometimes can't even believe it. She insisted I go to counseling, trying desperately to believe I could be "cured." I think she is now resigned to the fact that there is no cure, it's just the way I am and we are working on setting up acceptable boundaries and expectations. She has moved from saying things like "just stop!" to "you can do it if you want but I never want to see you that way," "it's a huge turn-off," and other similair things (tolerance but not acceptance.) We're going to see the counselor together soon. I intend to keep the idea in front of her (without throwing it in her face, nagging her about it or shocking her by suddenly appearing in heels and makeup) in order to keep the dialog going. Having accepted this part of myself a long time ago I want to help her down this road with love and respect but cannot return to the closet while keeping faith with myself and with my wife.

There is loads of good advice in this forum and, sometimes, some bad. If anyone decides to come out to their SO please please remember that this is an emotional issue and not a rational one (for both parties) and DO NOT try to reason with her to gain acceptance. There are a million valid reasons why there is nothing wrong with crossdressing and none of them mean a damn thing to a woman who is confronted with this huge change in her world. Even after she has had time to process the shock and is looking for reasons she will need to find her own way, just as you have, and may reject anything you tell her (and you with it) as selfish and self-serving. Women are born to be caring and nurturing and will find a way to love us despite ourselves. Is it any wonder we want to be more like them?

[tommi]

Best to tell her rather then have her find out by accident.
Mine treates me different depending on mood swings but she does love to shop and insists that I go with her it can be real fun.

[melissaK]

So, Loki UK, you've heard tales now suggesting you do and you don't. It certainly proves there is no one way doesn't it. So, your path, your life, your call.

My :2c: , I've been around the block. Wife 1 & 2 don't count. (They do count, but the circumstances are too different.)

Wife 3, I was out of my closet and exploring my cding when we began dating some 15 years ago. I told her pert near right away. I have a pretty good TS streak in me and I told her about that too. She was initially supportive, shopped with me a time or two, taught me make-up techniques. But she was terrified I would decide to transistion and I would leave her. We kept dating anyway. I eventually decided I couldn't accept occasional cding as passing was such a chore, nor could I talk myself into more complex undertaking like electrolosis or other procedures associated with transistioning. I used the common rationales like career and family reasons, and I thought I could just not CD and I'd be OK. I slipped back into a closet. My wife's support of cding slipped right away too.

Anyway, during the next dozen years my occasional minor cding was always overreacted to by my wife and I slipped further and further into my own little closet. And I eventually fell into an untreated depression with an eventual big time break down on my part last fall. I have been rebuilding myself since. Re-establishing gender issue discussions and boundaries with my wife is going slow. Today I'm a "wonderful" mix of hope and doubt. :doh:

Hugs,
'lissa

[loki_uk]

It was just something thats been on my mind a bit too much, probably just the post christmas blues

One day I'll have to spill the beans but that would be better when the kids are older so that if she doesn't want me anymore they don't suffer as much, I'm a coward I'm preparing for the day I really get caught but I don't want to be there voluntarily yet

[VTDresser]

I happen to be in the "I just don't understand why you do this?" relationship. I feel so uncomfortable now that my dressing has gone from covered up underclothes to slacks, blouses, some make up...

Lately I have tested the waters to see how my SO would react to me in a nightie in bed or wearing a nice pair of conservative slacks. I don't feel secure yet as it always comes back to "you're looking for something else, why else would you wear clothes like that?"

It is hard to explain that wearing women's clothing doesn't mean you are looking for something else. I guess I am possibly either going to go back to the closet or end up somewhere else. That would be a shame because I am a good provider, mate, person that just happens to have a twist in his gender.

No to mention that bringing up any conversation is difficult, a painful reminder of the "If I knew then what I know now...". It's too bad that twice my SO turned her back on different men when we were dating and I will always wonder if she has regretted being with me, especially now as she knows about my dressing.

But she won't walk out the door. Neither will I. I just hope we can reach an accord and move on. It's been 4 years and there has been minimal progress and I feel still trapped, even more isolated than I was before.

[marie354]

When I first came out to my SO, and she saw it for the first time, she didn't want to see it any more. She insisted that I kept it hid. Now that she's let me out of the closet, so to speak since I dress daily unless I have to go out, I asked her that very question. She doesn't like or dislike it, it's just different. Those are her words. She has no problem hugging me or kissing me when I'm dressed and have makeup on, so it's all good to me.
:hugs:

[sharon ball]

yes it did change for the better:D
we have been married for 29 yrs this june, and now we share clothes make-up,
girls and guys. yes, we are swingers.
it's nice to finally be able to open up and have fun.
i'd tell anyone to go for it. If she leaves tham then it isn't true love.
that's my opinion for what it's worth

[Babette]

The question was, "Did it change for the better?" I posed this question to my wife and she emphatically said, "Absolutely so!!"

When I asked her to explain this, she told me that it has brought us closer together. More than anything else, she indicated much she appreciated the honesty and sensed the relief I had.

Was it easy for me to approach with the subject? Absolutely not.

For everyone else that is struggling with the decision of "coming out" to your SO/wife, I can really understand your anxiety. When you do approach the subject, I wish you the very best. Like so many others have said, take it slow and be sensitive to her feelings because this is an overwhelming situation. :happy:

Babette

[dave785]

In my case started out during sex I suggested we dress in hose and it proigressed from there. She still thinks weird but is OK with me dressing up though right now is just clothing nothing further like wigs or makeup. But at least she was open enough to let me dress as I wish.

[HeleneGG]

I can only speak for myself, of course, and Erica and I are still working things out...I think it helps that I have no moral objection, as such, to crossdressing. When Erica told me, it was a tremendous shock. For a while, I did have a sort of bottom-of-the-universe-falling-out, WHO IS THIS PERSON I MARRIED!!! kind of reaction. It was probably aggravated by the fact that we've been together so long--you can be forgiven for thinking that you've got a handle on who someone is after eighteen years.

However after some time, several panic attacks, and a lot of reassurance from Erica that this is IT as far as life-changing revelations go (at least for now), I've come to see that Erica is still essentially the same person I dated, fell in love with and married all those years ago. I'm not saying I'm 100 percent comfortable with the CDing all the time, but it hasn't broken our marriage, and we're working on it. Relationships are always a work-in-progress, after all! Hope this helps.

[dave785]

Helene

Look at it this way. It's just clothing? I mean what do you think women like you (GG) felt 150 years ago when they started wearing pants. I mean if you think about it along tese lines that would make almost every women (GG) a CD cause up until more modern times women alnd guys wore the pants. Now look at society it's well excepted for a lady (GG) to be out in public dress in a pair of pants or pant suit. It's just jumping over that societial barrier.

I mean it is sad that society has to put labels on people who don't want to follow along like good little sheeple. It's all about what makes us happy in life and in your case towards him it shouldn't matter what she's wearing but what's inside.

But good that you are open to Erica dress as she feels. Besides why should you ladies (GG) get all the fun :D


I can only speak for myself, of course, and Erica and I are still working things out...I think it helps that I have no moral objection, as such, to crossdressing. When Erica told me, it was a tremendous shock. For a while, I did have a sort of bottom-of-the-universe-falling-out, WHO IS THIS PERSON I MARRIED!!! kind of reaction. It was probably aggravated by the fact that we've been together so long--you can be forgiven for thinking that you've got a handle on who someone is after eighteen years.

However after some time, several panic attacks, and a lot of reassurance from Erica that this is IT as far as life-changing revelations go (at least for now), I've come to see that Erica is still essentially the same person I dated, fell in love with and married all those years ago. I'm not saying I'm 100 percent comfortable with the CDing all the time, but it hasn't broken our marriage, and we're working on it. Relationships are always a work-in-progress, after all! Hope this helps.

[Sheila]

Look at it this way. It's just clothing?

not a truer word spoken, BUT if that's the case than why aren't you out there doing it after all as you yourself said why should you ladies (GG) get all the fun

Jess

[dave785]

hey hey one step at a time until yesterday only one that knew this was my wife. And she's not 100&#37; approving in the sense she finds weird so...

[cindie]

Dont been fooled. No matter what it changes things

My wife knows and supports me but it is not easy espically for her. Time is the key as well as a strong relationship

[Tina B.]

Does it change things? I guess that would depend on a lot of differernt things.
how open is your wife/SO to things such as men dressed as woman in the movies, never finds it funny or understandable( then keep it to yourself) if she is a homophobe (KEEP IT TO YOURSELF) when Icame out to my wife, her first questions where are you gay? answer no! are you transgendered, and if so do you plan to have the change surgery? answer don't plan to! (but at that time really was not so sure of that answer, still had a lot to learn about myself.
we had a few bumps in the road, but as soon as she had asked her questions and felt that she had the answers that she wanted to hear, I love you, do not plan to be any less a man (except when dress as a woman) she told me out, and bought me two dresses, shoes, and undrewear, including a set of cheap forms, and I was on cloud 9. Then I over did it with all the freedom, and we fought, and had to set limits, like I would like to see you as a guy sometimes please!!!
thirty four years latter, we are best of friends, I am still her hero, and also her best girl friend. And while I don't go out in public, as my choice, I feel like life has been a great ride.
She spends more on Tina's wardrobe than I do, and if I don't dress for a while and she see's me being moody, she will tell me to go put on a dress and cheer up!
But as we have all read, we and our wifes are all different, so handle well some not at all.
Tina B.

[Kristen Kelly]

For me, yes things changed some, but not in a bad way. Once I told my wife, I felt changed. Once you have told your wife that you cross dress, and the world doesn't end, there isn't much that you wouldnt consider sharing with her - I mean that's about as honest and up front as you can get. So yes things changed for me - she knew my deepest and darkest secret and it didn't matter to her.
Kim

Same here Kimberly it has change me and her and our relationship, we have our bumps but I am adjusting. After I told her I was that girl in the candy store could not get out enough, always pushing the envelope in how far I would go. I have found my confort zone and it's deep in the outfield, little I would do dressed that I would not do in drab, even my drab boundry has been pushed to the limit.

I wish I had been able to tell her when we met but I could not admit it to myself other than admit it to another person, and now it's "Here I am Accept me for who I am"

[loki_uk]

Does it change things? I guess that would depend on a lot of differernt things.
how open is your wife/SO to things such as men dressed as woman in the movies, never finds it funny or understandable( then keep it to yourself) if she is a homophobe (KEEP IT TO YOURSELF) when Icame out to my wife, her first questions where are you gay? answer no! are you transgendered, and if so do you plan to have the change surgery? answer don't plan to! (but at that time really was not so sure of that answer, still had a lot to learn about myself.
we had a few bumps in the road, but as soon as she had asked her questions and felt that she had the answers that she wanted to hear, I love you, do not plan to be any less a man (except when dress as a woman) she told me out, and bought me two dresses, shoes, and undrewear, including a set of cheap forms, and I was on cloud 9. Then I over did it with all the freedom, and we fought, and had to set limits, like I would like to see you as a guy sometimes please!!!
thirty four years latter, we are best of friends, I am still her hero, and also her best girl friend. And while I don't go out in public, as my choice, I feel like life has been a great ride.
She spends more on Tina's wardrobe than I do, and if I don't dress for a while and she see's me being moody, she will tell me to go put on a dress and cheer up!
But as we have all read, we and our wifes are all different, so handle well some not at all.
Tina B.

She used to be a fag hag, but ironically screamed and shouted 'your not some bloody tranny are you' when she jokingly told me to put her stockings on one time...she didnt really mean it and she freaked

Years later I'm still rather hestitent to mention it despite being somewhat caught out on occassion. Like her coming home from work convinced I've had another women in the house because she found underwear that isn't hers....thats a hard one to talk you way out of

Yeah I know there is no other women, well Ok I am the women...but sometimes I feel it would be easier to pretend there really was another women (:

[jennifer easton]

My relationship with my GF has changed for the better! I told her of Jennifer almost 2 years ago and she has helped me with all kinds of stuff, we go shopping together ( of corse I'm in manmode, some day I'll get around to posting some pics of Jennifer and you'll see why I don't shop engirly mode!!) she says that she wants me to be comfortable so around the house I can wear anything I want to, she said this morring that she wants to get me a wig and makeup for Valentine's day, what a sweetheart,I LOVES THIS WOMAN!! we have talked of maybe a vaction out of town so I can maybe do some dressing, now I want you to know I'm not braggin but I do know that I'm a lucky girl, well maybe I am!! for 50 of my 57 closeted years I never ever thought I would ever tell anybody of Jennifer, but now wished I would have told her from the start, that was 10 years ago, so thats my story and I'm stickin to it (hey I think theres a song in ther some where!) xoxoxoJennifer

[Melora]

I have posted this before, but..
I guess I am one of the lucky ones.. I got all dolled up, got drunk, passed out and she found me.. She was and is, "still kinda shocked". I thought it would have lightened up a little, and it did, but not totally. She says she loves me for what I am, and nothing more. In saying that she accepts me for what I do and have done behind her back for so many years. She as well as "I" are doing this whole thing SLOWLY. She will even learn to participate with some time. This other "side" of me is not transitioning with her as fast as I would like or feel comfortable with, BUT IT WILL happen. And thank god she kinda knows now.. I do not feel soo bad if she finds some foreign Feminine object around anymore.. She Knows now.
Dear Loki.. I do not know what to say, except that you got to come out to her at some point or spend the rest of your clever & hiding life covering up.. OR HeHe....:) Do as I did ...Etc.... Kinda like Russian Roulette with relationships kinda? :), But I am HAPPY that she found me out, AND I DO NOT have soo much to hide at last. Good luck to ya! Just remember... What is LOVE?

[Tracy Lynn]

Our relationship changed but it was a good change. My wife now knows who she truly married after 17 years. She was freaked out by it at first and has since become accepting. She knows I am still the same person she married and we talk about the situation often. I think sometimes she is only being polite and others times in tune with who I am.

I feel as though our relationship has grown. We have so much more to talk about now and new topics to talk of. It has broadened both of our horizons.

The only negative aspect is that she fears how far I will go. What will become of us should I ever feel the need to transition? I cannot answer that question at this time as I really don't know,

Overall all I would say I wish I had told her before we ever got involved and YES it was a positive thing telling her.

Tracie

[vannesar]

It's a very touchy and personal subject. We as cds are tormented by our inner demons of guilt,confusion and fear of being found out.
My wife wasn't happy but as stuck by me. You have to handle it gently , when I read about some of the experiences and how it has backfired on partners perhaps a little more sensitivityshould have been applied. Remember in a lot of ways you are not the man she married and if you take the vow of marriage you should stick by it. regards vanessa

[Karen Francis]

Good Question. Married for 34 years, she has known about my "hobby" for 35 years. I was in the closet except to her for the last 30, About 4 years ago, when the kids moved out(finally!) I started in earnest making changes to become passable, which now includes electolysis.

Her two overiding concerns are: That the neighbors/friends don't find out and that I might want to fully transition to female with SRS. She will never understand it, will never really like it, but since i spend 75% of the time dressed around her, she is getting used to it, a totally practical response.

What helps is when I am dressed in feminine top/jeans/ shoes and the dishwasher craps out, I still go get the tool box and fix it, just have to be a little more careful so I don't ruin my nails... Also I have introduced Karen to my 2 adult sons and a few select friends and all of those people are totally supportive, which makes her a little more comfortable about the idea.

Lots of dynamics going on here, every situation is different. But after she compares our situation to numerous other married couples we have know who are now divorced, she still thinks she is better of with me that without me...

[Karen Johnson]

I told mine several years ago and it was well recieved. She even gets into it a little.

However....

She does see me a little differently and she has never come fully to terms with it. She doesn't fully understand it (and neither do I), which I think leads to certain fears on her part. So, even with her being okay with it, she can't help but see me in a different light.