Just a thought / question...

[Ellisia_Lynch]

I was just reading through Emily's thread about her divorce, and it occured to me that those of us with unaccepting spouses really do have to put up with an awful lot of flak from our partners over being the way we are.

When divorces happen because of crossdressing, it's always the wife that gets fed up and moves out when she gets to a point of not being able to handle it. Quite often though there seems to be an element of releif in the crossdresser when this happens - they can finally be who they want to be.

So why is it then, that when we are living in a relationship that is struggling and we are repressing our true selves, it is not us that gets fed up with our partners unacceptable behaviour and lack of understanding? Why do you think it is that crossdressers aren't the ones that leave to make themselves happy?

Just a thought......

Ellisia

[Marla S]

We carry a burden, but do profit a bit too (dressing "fun", relief, whatever)
What's the profit of a SO that doesn't like CDing ? She only has the social burden and might feel a bit "non-loved". No profit, except the hubby is a bit more happy, but we are a bit self-centered then too.

Leaving is not so easy, because dressing for oneself in the closet is the third best option only. We seek for approval finally. Hope dies last. There might be a chance she changes her mind. We can't understand that she can't understand, though we feel better and think we are able use the new energy to even improve the relationship.

Self-accusation: CDing is my "fault", my "deviation" ... she's maybe right in disliking it.

Of course there is a relief after breakup, especially when you are able to live it "your way" when ever you want. But at the same time, at least in my case, I had the knowladge that finding another partner with this "burden" will become tricky in the very moment the breakup was fixed.

[Karren H]

Good point!!! And I've been privey to Em's continuing strugle....so I know how hard its been on her!!!!

But for me I think its called LOVE...

After 30+ years of marriage its tough to just chuck it and walk away from somewone you've live with and loved for sooooo long!! For me it is and always be Family first!!!! And I'm really lucky in the fact that my wife still accepts me as her husband and still loves me.... Plus I'm still able to enjoy my fem side when time allows!!

Pluss no lawyers were enriched in the proicess!! :D

Love Karren

[Marcie Sexton]

Long before my dressing was an issue I went through a really nasty divorce, seems she wanted to sleep with me and have her men at work too...any way I really longed for her for a while, all well knowing there was no love, but convience for her rep. after some long sessions with my therp. I figured out that I really didn't love my ex, but merely had a convient relationship and didn't want to start over...

Thank GOD...now I have a loving & supportive wife :love:

[susie evans]

i feel for emily and the strugels she is going through it's very sad and what karren said is very ture it also takes a commitment on the gg's part to make it work she needs to reasearch the facts before making a descision of this kind :hugs: :hugs:
love susie