Is this why we dress?

[jillwadden]

As a teenager and young man, girls and women,on occasion, would tell me that I was good looking .I never believed them because,when I looked in the mirror,I didn't find the person looking back at me to be attractive at all.HOWEVER,when I was dressed enfemme I loved the way I looked and was very satisfied with my appearance.It occurred to me that this is the main reason that I am a CD.We like to feel good about ourselves,and I never feel better than when I'm wearing something sexy.I am wondering if any other girls feel the same way.I'd love to hear from you.
Love,
Jill

[Marla S]

Might not be the only reason, but there is certainly some truth in it.
In male mode I always felt a bit dull with the feeling that something is lacking.
A more feminine style produces something to look at, which boosts self-awareness and self-esteem a bit.

[bgirl]

All those reasons why are like clothes in my closet, I just can't figure out which ones to wear. In fact some times I just go for it and wear all of them.

I don't know what makes me want to be a girl. Its all academic anyway. Because I just do.

[LindaMarie]

As a teenager and young man, girls and women,on occasion, would tell me that I was good looking .I never believed them because,when I looked in the mirror,I didn't find the person looking back at me to be attractive at all.HOWEVER,when I was dressed enfemme I loved the way I looked and was very satisfied with my appearance.It occurred to me that this is the main reason that I am a CD.We like to feel good about ourselves,and I never feel better than when I'm wearing something sexy.I am wondering if any other girls feel the same way.I'd love to hear from you.
Love,
Jill

Jill,

Great post. I think that's part of it. I was embarassed when people gave me compliments in boy mode. I also didn't want to feel like I should "try too hard" to look good. That would be unmanly. And appearances were definitely more valued for girls. My sisters got braces and I didn't because it just wasn't so important for a guy.

But in girl mode, I get to try really hard to look good. and the clothes and makeup are such fun. I know intellectually that there's so, so much more to being a woman than looking good and showing off how great you look, but there's core fantasy somewhere that says it's a very important part of being female. I'm sure the appearance of clothes and makeup and looking pretty being the main thing about being female is one of the chief things that drive my wife crazy about my dressing. It's hard to explain how you can know something intellectually and still have this crazy fantasy part of you that contradicts that knowledge.

Linda

[Casey Morgan]

I agree with Marla: it's part of the reason but not all of it. When I looked at "him" I saw all my faults, percieved or actual, and I was very quick to find fault with how I looked. When I looked at "her" though I left all that baggage behind and I could look at myself more objectively, if a little optomistically.

[TxKimberly]

This might not be THE reason I CD, but there is no question that to me it is true.
Kim


As a teenager and young man, girls and women,on occasion, would tell me that I was good looking .I never believed them because,when I looked in the mirror,I didn't find the person looking back at me to be attractive at all.HOWEVER,when I was dressed enfemme I loved the way I looked and was very satisfied with my appearance.It occurred to me that this is the main reason that I am a CD.We like to feel good about ourselves,and I never feel better than when I'm wearing something sexy.I am wondering if any other girls feel the same way.I'd love to hear from you.
Love,
Jill

[Kate Simmons]

It's the outward reflection of the inner me with all the beauty and wisdom that goes along with it.:happy:

[Penny]

[QUOTE=jillwadden;713170]As a teenager and young man, girls and women,on occasion, would tell me that I was good looking .I never believed them because,when I looked in the mirror,I didn't find the person looking back at me to be attractive at all.HOWEVER,when I was dressed enfemme I loved the way I looked and was very satisfied with my appearance.It occurred to me that this is the main reason that I am a CD.We like to feel good about ourselves,and I never feel better than when I'm wearing something sexy.I am wondering if any other girls feel the same way.I'd love to hear from you.
Love,
Jill[/QUOTE
Yes! A thousand times yes! It may not be the only reason but I believe it is primary and fills our need to feel pretty. Some would say they dress to express their feminine side. For sure, I have an overabundance of feminine traits or qualities. Sobbing at the end of a sad movie shows that side but mostly makes me feel like an idiot instead of pretty. I am not afraid to cry but
it does nothing for me except clear my sunuses.
Many men, some gay but most straight, have similar traits as mine but the only thing that distinquishes then from me is the dress.
We do crossdress afterall!
I don't know why I got the "pretty bug", I just have it.
I do know that explaining it in this simple form, rather than trying to justify it,
makes it easier for others to understand. Women understand more so than
do men because most women have that need too are more willing to accept it. That generally makes it easier to associate with women but doesn't alter the fact that I am male.

:hugs:

Penny
:hugs:

[sara_also]

If we don't like who we are, we try to change...good post

[Marianna Julianna]

Like so many things, no real answer, or at least a different answer for different people. I don't know, my first recollection of wearing a skirt or dress is very hazy, but as time has gone on I know more and more that when I am dressed 'properly' I feel somehow more complete. Maybe not quite the right word, but I feel as if just for a little while I can totally myself. Even without a mirror it feels good, but when I can see that complete me it's even better.

[Rachel Morley]

Well it is fair to say (IMHO) that on women, nice clothes, great hair, and flawless makeup will improve how they look....so if this is so on women, why not on men? Ok, I admit it, some guys will look better than others but in a general sense, I think make up improves everyone, and having a wig is an "instant different hairstyle".

As "different" guys, we look in the mirror, we see no make up, very little hair (in my case), and boring dowdy clothes, so of course getting all dressed up makes us feel more attractive. Ask your wife if she feels more attractive when she's had her hair and make up done?.....it's the same for us too. :D

[Marcie Sexton]

There is alot of truth there...I am though comfortable in a business suit as a skirt & heels...

The only difference is I am more at peace and ease with myself...no standard to live up to when Marcie is out and about...:2c:

[tommi]

I think when it started I just liked the feel of the clothes , soft silky, now I find it to be relaxing and and who doesn't like the feeling of satin,silk and nylons.:doll:
:bonk: Tried to convince my SO to wear somethings and maybe I wouldn't
need to wear them so much:bonk:

[Cassy11]

When I look in the mirror in male mode I could see myself growing more mature (older) and it was always the same old me. Being a CD would give me excitement when I was younger. As my CDing progressed it became a wonderful way to melt away the tension of the day. I was able to bring alive a different and to my eyes, a better looking person. Cassy has taken up 3/4 of the closet with different colors and styles. Male mode clothes just don't generate any excitement.

[Karren H]

Nahhh!! I don't subscribe to that theory!! I feel good about myself no matter how I'm dressed!!! So at least for me that doesn't hold water...

And everyone has their reasons that they think is why they dress.... But when it comes right down to it no one really knows.... And does it really matter?? If you knew it wouldn't change a thing!!

Love Karren

[Chiana]

As a teenager and young man, girls and women,on occasion, would tell me that I was good looking .I never believed them because,when I looked in the mirror,I didn't find the person looking back at me to be attractive at all.HOWEVER,when I was dressed enfemme I loved the way I looked and was very satisfied with my appearance.It occurred to me that this is the main reason that I am a CD.We like to feel good about ourselves,and I never feel better than when I'm wearing something sexy.I am wondering if any other girls feel the same way.I'd love to hear from you.
Love,
Jill


This touches a nerve with me. It is not why I dress, however. I dressed for many years before I saw myself fully transformed, in a mirror. For as long as I can remember, I never felt I was handsome or good looking, as a guy. Over the years, I received compliments about my drab looks but I always thought it was false praise and not really sincere. In virtually every photo of me, I am making some kind of face. A defense mechanism due to not liking my looks. The first time I got fully made up, I was amazed and over joyed at what I saw in the mirror. To this day, I know I make a better looking woman than a man. But I have grown much more accepting of my male appearance and actually had some pictures taken where I wasn't making a face.

[bredalee25]

I don't want to be a girl i just love the clothes and the way i look wearing them so yes thats probabally why i started dressing to look good and feel better about myself.

ttfn

[janedoe311]

My wife and other ladies have told me I am good looking and I do not belive them. Because what I see in the mirror is an ugly face. She gets at me all the time about me downing myself. Can not help it, wish I would stop. Not good for the kids to see or my self esteem, such as it is.

FYI I do not dress it would not help.

[Dominique Melt]

Marla, Chiana and Jane said it pretty much for me. The convoluted narcissisism and vanity, the longing to be someone I thought looked/was attractive, the list could go on. Somehow from as early as I can remember, I just felt that girls were more desirable. They just seemed so vibrant and sensuous ALL THE TIME. Or maybe that's the Latina influence from mom's side. I also remember as a small child it was easier to act, be and pass as androgynous. But truth be told, there is a powerful sexual component to it, and I have never really figured it out.

[Sasha Anne Meadows]

All girls look better than any guy could. Guys just aren't attractive. That's why I just do not want to look like a guy anymore.

[patti.jean]

Being told I look good as Patti is still one of my greatest pleasures of dressing but not the main reason I dress. I was recently out having dinner as Patti with my GG girlfriend when we ended up talking with a couple of GG ladies at a table next to us and before the night was over we ended up at their table. It was all girl talk and a great time. I received some complements on how I was dressed, but nothing was said about me being a CD. This was in a small resort town. The next day at breakfast I was in drab mode with my girlfriend again and realize the same two ladies where also there having breakfast. On the way out we ended up talking to them again. I was told by one lady that I am a better looking woman then a man, then the other lady to be PC I think said I am also a good looking gentleman. I took the complement as a women but could not take the complement as a gentleman.

[Christina Nicole]

HOWEVER,when I was dressed enfemme I loved the way I looked and was very satisfied with my appearance.It occurred to me that this is the main reason that I am a CD.We like to feel good about ourselves,and I never feel better than when I'm wearing something sexy.I am wondering if any other girls feel the same way.I'd love to hear from you.
Love,
Jill

No, but I rarely wear anything sexy. That's probably more for the fetish crossdressers. Nothing wrong with being that if that's your thing. See JoAnn's post (http://crossdressers.com/forums/showpost.php?p=713377&postcount=1).

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[melissaK]

. .. when I looked in the mirror,I didn't find the person looking back at me to be attractive at all.HOWEVER,when I was dressed enfemme I loved the way I looked and was very satisfied with my appearance.

Whoa, LMTY I have issues with mirrors! :heehee: I have never identified with my reflection in male mode. Maybe sort of in fem mode, but even then . . . its a puzzle. Passing takes a bit of work for me so maybe that's why fem mode doesn't quite do it either.

But, if I get into actor mode, I can make myself look sharp in male mode (every girls crazy about a sharp dressed man . . . ). But, I am just plain more comfortable in fem clothes and all the acting in the world doesn't get that done for me in male mode.

"Soooo 'lissa would you get to the point?" "OK, already. The babe in the mirror is not why I dress."

[nataliecd77]

There is alot of truth there...I am though comfortable in a business suit as a skirt & heels...

The only difference is I am more at peace and ease with myself...no standard to live up to when Marcie is out and about...:2c:

There's a lil bit of the "looks better" in myself also, but Marcie hit pretty close to me. When I dress I feel like a totally different person, I'm Natalie and she doesn't have the same sense of obligation and responsiblities that male me has. Natalie can be funny, and fun she can cut loose and feel good about herself without having to worry about what needs to be done next and who needs to be doing it.
Not sure if that makes much sense to any of ya'll but It's the best I can explain it right now.
Love,
Natalie

[Alice Torn]

I relate to some of you. I always have had low sense of looks, didn't like being so awfully tall, was picked on in school, and by my brothers. It is always a work in progress, accepting my male side, and also my Lucille side. As far as all guys not looking very good, in the Bible, in the book of Isaiah, chapter 53, verses 1thru 3, it predicted that Jesus, would NOT be an attractive person! We are in good company, our male sides, despite looking, and feeling better dressed up!

[Angela E.]

That I would make a beautiful girl by lots of women.They didn`t know it but they were right.This wasn`t the reason I started though,it just always felt right.-Angela.:2c: :GE: :daydreaming:

[susananklet]

:2c: This may be part of the equation. But I think most of us just like the easygoing way the female in us likes life!:D Susan