Web Dating Sites?

[IMkrystal]

From: ********

To: IMKrystal

Subject: No Subject

Date: 2007-01-19 / 09:19:00



Hello,

I don't want to sound mean but it sounds as if you need to deal with some of your issues before you can have a meaningful relationship with a woman. If you like dressing up in women's clothing that in and of itself an issue that most people cannot accept.

I think you need to read your profile from the point of view someone else and then ask yourself, "do I want to meet and be with this person"?

I wish you good luck in your search and hope that you do not destory someone elses life in the process.

G


I have said in other threads I have posted that I have joined a number of dating sites, looking for accepting GGs. The number of responses to my "honest" profile have been few. The many threads that are posted here have dealt with the topic of either hiding this behavior or being honest and expressing your feelings to others.

I would like to know if other members had tried this method of meeting GGs and what have been your results?:(

[BOOTLOVINGGIRL]

I'm on a couple alternative type ones as a nonpaying member, which doesn't get you much. Response has been very sparse. I'm curious, are you on alternative type ones or laying it all out there on more vanilla type dating sites? While your respondent in your post is certainly trying to be helpful, I don't think she understands it's not something you can resolve, "become normal so to speak" and then start advertising yourself in a more acceptable manner to the female audience. I admire your truth in advertising. Might not be fruitful but you're not deceiving anyone.

[Lisa Maren]

When I do become ready to date, it will ideally mean that I am being my femme self out in public where Lisa belongs and advertising the real me. I would be going to friends' homes, parties, dinners and movies out, what have you, being myself and advertising the real me.

Hopefully, the type of girl who would be interested would take notice. I would also post a personals ad on Yahoo! Personals or whatever but without a photo. This way, the right girl might have a click, where as the b*****s who just want to say negative things would skip my profile. I have had a gander at a few TG/CD "dating sites" only to find that they're pretty heavily sexually oriented. Perhaps I'm looking in the wrong places, though!

But don't listen to me -- I'm an idealist! :heehee:

Hugs,
Lisa

[goofus]

From: ********

To: IMKrystal

Subject: No Subject

Date: 2007-01-19 / 09:19:00

Hello,

I don't want to sound mean but it sounds as if you need to deal with some of your issues before you can have a meaningful relationship with a woman. If you like dressing up in women's clothing that in and of itself an issue that most people cannot accept.

I think you need to read your profile from the point of view someone else and then ask yourself, "do I want to meet and be with this person"?

I wish you good luck in your search and hope that you do not destory someone elses life in the process.

G




This woman is a nimrod as well as an ignoramus. I wouldn't want to have a relationship with her in any case...

[Lisa Maren]

G - well said!

You said what I'm too nice to say. :heehee:

Hugs,
Lisa

[IMkrystal]

Thanks for your comments. One of you wanted to know if I posted on an alternative dating site or a more "Vanilla" one. Being Afro- American, I don't know how vanilla I can get. But if any of you wish to see how I posted go to:



IMKrystal (new) Princeton NJ, USA Online Now - Click to Chat!









http://C:\Documents and Settings\K\My Documents\P1000049 (2resized2).jpg


DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK !

Male
53 years old
5' 9" tall
Athletic build
Black hair - Black eyes
Black/African descent
I do not smoke
Good looking
Doctor (occupation)
Rather not say (income)
Looking for a Serious relationship
Never Married
Has 1 child, lives with 0
Catholic (religion)
Last Login - 1/20/2007


A little about me...
Being African-American, thanks to my parents, has not been a disadvantage for me in the way most people would think. I grew up in the Princeton New Jersey community, went to private school, and graduated from an Ivy League University.

During these developmental years I dealt with peer pressure, dating outside my "race" and family issues, (parent-son & a brother-twin sister). These years helped define who I am today.There have not been many relationships in my life that share my needs. The few times they did, were heart breaking and took time to get over. Now having lived through many events in my life, I have a clearer understanding what friendship and being in love mean.

What are you looking for in a partner?
I am looking for a woman, who has had similar experiences in life. Who has beauty, material and intellectual wealth, but is not impressed by them? Someone who is both interdependent, yet dependent on the trust and love of her partner. I am NOT looking for a woman with children, but one, who wants to start a family. College educated with her own career is a must. My partner must be in shape for both indoor and outdoor activities.

I'd just like to add...
There are some chinks in my armor. During my hospital residency I developed Type 1 Diabetes. It was a life changing experience, however time and advances in medical technology has enable me to live a normal life. Staying active, eating correctly, controling my weight, have been very important. However, there are still times when I eat junk food.

Another chink which needs mentioning, is something which has been part of me for a very long time. Since my cousin dressed me up over forty years ago I have fantasized about being with an attractive woman who could expand on my childhood desire, of being dressed and made up. My x-fiancée knew about this wish but did not find it arousing or enjoyable. My therapist has suggested I need to explore this part of me more. I wish I could be with woman who could accept this side of me and establish a loving and trusting relationship.

In this greeting, I have tried to be as honest and open as possible. The women who wish to respond must also possess these attributes. I will not respond to those lacking pictures or candor

[Deidra Cowen]

I did Adult Friend Finder...admittely thats a wild type site. Had very little luck. But I seem to be able to meet people out at da clubs with much better results, Men and Women both hit on me, now I am not exaggerating, its not like I am covered up with people trying to hit on me, but maybe once or twice a night some guy or girl seems interested in me. But on the net it was 99% creepos wanting quick and dirty sex. :Angry3:

I have a good Tgirl friend that did an ad on Friend Finders looking for a GG. She said she just got a couple of nibbles. By the way she is very sharp, smart and pretty both as a chick and a guy. But she got very little response.

The GGs interested for the most part (not all) seem to come out to the clubs looking for us. LOL

[Katrina]

I agree with what others have said. I don't think you want a relationship with a woman who would say something like that. I'd like to say "hang in there", but I'm not convinced myself that there are many women out there than can handle "conditions" like ours, at least not on conventional dating sites. Heck, my SO would have passed on me if she knew earlier that I was a CDer. She wouldn't have known what she was missing - a good guy that makes a great shopping buddy and more.

At this point, if I was on a dating site, I would spin it as a positive thing since a dating profile is like a resume. I might say something like:

"I'm looking for a very open-minded woman who enjoys a guy who is able to be a man, but also is in touch with his feminine side. I'm a great shopping buddy and I fully understand the pains that a woman goes through in the name of beauty, if you know what I mean."

That leaves a bit of mystery for any potential daters.

[Missy Anne]

Krystal,

I agree with Katrina. Presenting it as a positive thing for you will show that you are happy with yourself, an important factor in all relationships.

I really like the way Katrina wrote it. That should at least get some more exploratory responses. If after they get further knowledge they decide to bolt, then it's no loss. You will have gained experience for dealing with the next inquiry.

Your original presentation sounds a little like you are trying to satisfy a kink instead of looking for a life mate. When you find a life mate, the crossdressing acceptance will come naturally.

Keep us posted.

Missy Anne

[MsJanessa]

What the woman is suggesting is that you be dishonest in your profile(and therefore dishonest in any ensuing relationship) better to have fewer responses from those ladies interested in a CD then have lots of responses from those ladies who would view this as a turn off if they knew----write her back and tell her you are more interested in honesty and compatibility in a relationship than you are getting in her(or anybody else's) pants for a quickie.

[goofus]

G - well said!

You said what I'm too nice to say. :heehee:

Hugs,
Lisa

Thanx, somebody had to :D

[BOOTLOVINGGIRL]

IMKrystal,

I think your ad is terrific and totally honest EXCEPT I agree with the other girls that you need to phrase the CDing in a more positive or at least a more ambiguous way. Anytime you start discussing a fantasy scenario to a GG that doesn't know you you're throwing up a huge red flag no matter how well intended. You're on the right track in telling them but I'd tone it down more. Sans the crossdressing you'd probably have alot of interest. Good luck.

[Miss Terr]

I did Adult Friend Finder...admittely thats a wild type site. Had very little luck. But I seem to be able to meet people out at da clubs with much better results, Men and Women both hit on me, now I am not exaggerating, its not like I am covered up with people trying to hit on me, but maybe once or twice a night some guy or girl seems interested in me. But on the net it was 99% creepos wanting quick and dirty sex. :Angry3:

I have a good Tgirl friend that did an ad on Friend Finders looking for a GG. She said she just got a couple of nibbles. By the way she is very sharp, smart and pretty both as a chick and a guy. But she got very little response.

The GGs interested for the most part (not all) seem to come out to the clubs looking for us. LOL

What clubs are these? In GA?
I did AFF too lots of views, not so many contacts...

[Amanda Jane]

"Vanilla" one. Being Afro- American, I don't know how vanilla I can get"

In this sense 'vanilla' is not about race or skin color, but about sexual preferences, i.e. the more kinky your are the more your Pepermint Twist or Butter Brickel, and less plain, old, everyday, boring 'man on top lets get it over with quickly' vanilla.

[RobynP]

This is an excellent topic. Should we be 100% honest and up-front? Or should we "hide" it for awhile?

First, the people who use the web dating sites rarely use warning labels. "I've been in intensive therapy for 10 years and have to take ___, ___, and ___ daily to control ___, ___, and ___..." (fill in the blanks...) Very few people do that... Everyone writes in their profile the usual stuff about being a super special person that you just gotta meet.

Full disclosure (for both parties) shold come after a few dates if the relationship looks promising, not before...

I do have a cd profile on one of the dating sites in the "women interested in women" section. No one has responded at all...

Unfortunately, there are very few sites that offer CD <-> GG type of dating service and the few that are out there have very, very small numbers of users....

--Robyn P.