Caz
01-20-2007, 09:56 AM
Hello All
I have a dilemma that is, in my experience and research, quite unusual, possibly unique. I am seeking your input so that I can work my way through this issue.
Here is some history:
I have always considered myself to be transgendered. I have always felt that I am female, inside a male body, and in 1996, actually commenced the gender reassignment programme. The reason I had to abandon the programme is another story. I have always found that wearing feminine clothing is a calming and peaceful state, and it has always given me great comfort and a feeling of completeness.
In 1996 I found out that I have Klinefelter Syndrome, that is to say, I have an extra X chromosome. I am XXY – females are XX and males are XY.
Throughout the years, there have been fluctuations, through circumstances, external or state of mind, when I have dressed femininely to greater or lesser degrees. I am currently in a completely supportive relationship, where my SO actually encourages me to self-actuate. She even makes clothing for me, both street-wear and lingerie. I am very blessed.
However, in the past year or so, I have completely lost interest in dressing in feminine clothing. COMPLETELY. I have no interest in removing facial and body hair, despite having had extensive electrolysis on my face, and then waxing the remaining facial hair for many years. I have, however, kept my hair long and in a feminine style. I also have no interest in wearing lingerie, nor putting on make-up, nor presenting as the woman I have always felt that I am. In all the reading I have done throughout the years, and all the CD’s and TG’s I have known over the decades, this would seem to be most unusual. The “norm” being that the urge to dress femininely increases as one gets older. I have not encountered my dilemma before, in either myself, or in anyone else. I feel empty and hollow, as if part of me has disappeared – a big part of me. When I look at photos of myself en femme, I feel a sense of longing for that person (me) to return. I have every opportunity to dress femininely, and as I said before, I have a supportive and encouraging SO, one who does not merely tolerate my femininity, but actually encourages it, but there is a total lack of interest on my part.
Has anyone else felt like this, encountered this, or recovered from this? How many times would a psychologist be confronted with a TG or CD who actually wanted help in restoring the longing and desire to be feminine?
I really miss me, and would love to have me back. All helpful comments would be appreciated.
Luv from
Caz xx
I have a dilemma that is, in my experience and research, quite unusual, possibly unique. I am seeking your input so that I can work my way through this issue.
Here is some history:
I have always considered myself to be transgendered. I have always felt that I am female, inside a male body, and in 1996, actually commenced the gender reassignment programme. The reason I had to abandon the programme is another story. I have always found that wearing feminine clothing is a calming and peaceful state, and it has always given me great comfort and a feeling of completeness.
In 1996 I found out that I have Klinefelter Syndrome, that is to say, I have an extra X chromosome. I am XXY – females are XX and males are XY.
Throughout the years, there have been fluctuations, through circumstances, external or state of mind, when I have dressed femininely to greater or lesser degrees. I am currently in a completely supportive relationship, where my SO actually encourages me to self-actuate. She even makes clothing for me, both street-wear and lingerie. I am very blessed.
However, in the past year or so, I have completely lost interest in dressing in feminine clothing. COMPLETELY. I have no interest in removing facial and body hair, despite having had extensive electrolysis on my face, and then waxing the remaining facial hair for many years. I have, however, kept my hair long and in a feminine style. I also have no interest in wearing lingerie, nor putting on make-up, nor presenting as the woman I have always felt that I am. In all the reading I have done throughout the years, and all the CD’s and TG’s I have known over the decades, this would seem to be most unusual. The “norm” being that the urge to dress femininely increases as one gets older. I have not encountered my dilemma before, in either myself, or in anyone else. I feel empty and hollow, as if part of me has disappeared – a big part of me. When I look at photos of myself en femme, I feel a sense of longing for that person (me) to return. I have every opportunity to dress femininely, and as I said before, I have a supportive and encouraging SO, one who does not merely tolerate my femininity, but actually encourages it, but there is a total lack of interest on my part.
Has anyone else felt like this, encountered this, or recovered from this? How many times would a psychologist be confronted with a TG or CD who actually wanted help in restoring the longing and desire to be feminine?
I really miss me, and would love to have me back. All helpful comments would be appreciated.
Luv from
Caz xx