Sandygal
01-21-2007, 01:24 AM
I think sometimes my head acts more like the weather. Some days it can be so peaceful and other times a storm can pop up. The other night I was dropping off a perscription at the pharmacy. As I stood in line I noticed a box. Increase your bustline. I could not take my eyes off it. Yes, yes, I know that this stuff does not work. But I kept staring. I'm a crossdresser, I don't want real breasts, do I? No I don't. Yes I do. No. Yes. I'm so confused. There have been times in my past that I prayed so hard that I wished I could wake up and be a woman. Then the storms would pass and I would forget that I even prayed for this. Rainy day in my head would be dressing up and wanting to be seen, can't do it. A blizzard ragged most of last month, no alone time to dress. A sunny day for me is being dressed and relaxing in front of the computor reading everyone else's threads. So few sunny days. You know how the weathermen get it wrong so often. I keep telling myself, I'm just a crossdresser. But other things keep popping into my head. Maybe I'm more, maybe a lot more and I can't even admit it to myself. The storm rages as I write this. I want it all, but I don't want to give up what I have. I'm happy with my life and I hate my life. I think my wife is Mother nature. Without her I would be so alone. She is the only reason I have held the weather together. If I sound confused tonight, I'm sorry. Telling all of you really makes me feel better.............Sandy