Why ?

[rexy]

WHY DOES THERE HAVE TO BE SUCH A BIG DEAL ABOUT A MAN WEARING WOMEN'S CLOTHING ? IT IS JUST CLOTHES ISN'T IT ? BECAUSE WE ALL FEEL GOOD ABOUT WEARING WOMENS CLOTHING,:happy: AS SUCH SOME THINK THAT WE ARE DOING SOMETHING WRONG? JUST WONDERED WHAT SOME OF YOU GIRLS THINK ABOUT THIS .:rose2:

[Karren H]

I do't think it's such a big deal.... but then again I'm biased.... hehe

Love Karren

[bgirl]

I said that to my wife and she said .....and make-up and painted toes and shaving and wigs and.................I agree with you but I still won't let the neigbors in on my secret. Why for a while I wouldn't let myself in on it.

[Marla S]

IT IS JUST CLOTHES ISN'T IT ?
If it would be just clothes, it probably wouldn't be a big deal, but neither we nor the others see it just as a fashion statement.
That's whats beyond the "just" makes it tricky and hard to understand for us and others.
It's not wrong, but a bit off the beaten track.

[Amy Hepker]

Rexy, This is the reason why we have our own website. There are a lot of people that think CDing is the worst thing in the world. It just really gets to me as there are people out there everyday acting as Doctors and Lawyers and such that should never be, yet nobody says anything about it. Just because you wear the clothing does not mean you are or know anything about it. I have seen so called experts that thought they knew everything about what they were doing, just to say well, I have never seen that happen before. Everything is fine UNTIL you cross the GENDER LINES. Just be glad we all have each other here and maybe someday we can be who we want to be.

[dl_pink_pink]

I think in the culture we are raised we are programmed that certain activities are still a taboo. Most of us have lived at least for a while being told that this kind of behavior is unacceptable - having lived that for a while one may start to believe it.
With me I know there is nothing wrong with it - I am getting to get further away from these teachings.
There is still a little guilt or shame attached but it is fading away.

A lot of it was my parents finding some fem things growing up and having them not understand and being against what I was wishing to do has imprinted some fear into me

I am learning now that the main goal of every being should be to feel good. If crossdressing, trangenderism and the demolition of gender makes you feel good then participate - we only are here for a short time.

[MJ]

we are BIASED AND WARPED remember so hey there is nothing wrong in what we do . i have no problem with it, but it's more than just the CLOTHING ,
but i think the people need to accept us for who we are, i long for the day

[celeste26]

Group identity and the taboos relate to the activity of that group. In the case of males the clothes violate that identity and therefore are taboo.

Just means we form another group, like we have, and have our own taboos. We never criticize our fellow CD's over our beauty issues do we. What other taboos do we have?

[Kate Simmons]

If it would be just clothes, it probably wouldn't be a big deal, but neither we nor the others see it just as a fashion statement.
That's whats beyond the "just" makes it tricky and hard to understand for us and others.
It's not wrong, but a bit off the the beaten track.That's just it Marla, Rexy has a valid question here. A question that when you back the naysayers into a corner sometimes, they either have no answer or just parrot something someone else said. It's "wrong" because they've been told it's wrong by someone else who doesn't know why either. It's like a little kid who keeps asking "why". The person who's answering them keeps giving reasons to each succeeding question until they run out of valid answers. Pretty soon the answerer gets frustrated with the little kid and just tells them anything in an attempt to get them to shut up.Bottom line is they don't care if the answer is right or not, they just want the kid to shut up and were sorry they even started answering. That being the case, I guess we have to be like innocent little kids who are curious. We just have to keep asking why it is wrong until the people challenging us get to the point of having no valid answer and concede that they really just don't know.:happy:

[bikini02]

I'm not sure but sometimes I think that GG are threatened by men that dress in women's clothing, hair, makeup.

[Peggy55]

I finally told my therapist the other day about my crossdressing. She played it off, didn't think it was that big of a deal. Said it's a way a lot of men escape the stress of everyday life.

Peggy

[Synchronicity]

You're asking the wrong crowd, Sweetie. Why not pose this question in a non-crossdresser forum and get back to us. :p

[Peggy55]

Very true Synchronicity!

[susie evans]

it's not a big deal i just like them better a lot more style and a skirt is more comfe than pants any day of the week and heels are much easer to put on rather than work boots :heehee: :heehee:

love susie

[melissacd]

I think to some extent it is a big deal because it 'is' more than just about clothing. Many cross dressers, myself included, want to create a complete feminine illusion. If it were just clothing then we would still look like males, just in attire normally ascribed to women. For example, women wear pants and yet there is no question, in the normal case, that they are still women.

Many cross dressers on the other hand, wear a wig, bra, breast forms, tuck, shave, wear makeup and so on trying to achieve the 'passable' look. They add to that feminine mannerisms and when you bring it all together, if done with great care, requires one to look twice in many cases to tell that it is not a woman at all. In some cases the illusion is so perfect you cannot tell it is a man.

Therefore, while I love cross dressing and will never again give it up, I can see why someone would consider what we do way beyond what women generally do. That being said, the argument for tolerance is no less diminished, what this really speaks to is a society that understands and accepts that there are as many forms of expression as they are people in this world and we need to be respectful and tolerant of those forms of expression so long as they do not infringe upon the health and safety of others and so long as they do not prevent others from their own forms of personal expression.

Huggs
Melissa

[Marianna Julianna]

Maybe because some feel threatened by it, the natural response to a threat is either fight or flight. Of course, if someone is brought up to think than anything outside the 'normal' is a perversion, whatever it might be that's not going to help either. I think if more people excepted that just because other people are different they're not necesarily a threat the world would be a better and saner place. It's not going to happen though, because (and I think I'm talking wider here than just cross-dressing) along as there's someone out there who can make some capital, either financially or politically, from demonising what others do it will go on going on. Can't see that ever happening.

[Marla S]

Reading Melissa's post another thought pops up.

What would you/we think if there would be some people that walk around/go to work etc. as knight in full armament, clowns with full makeup, whites as native americans with feather bonnet and all the stuff etc.
It's just clothes too, but it is a bit strange too, isn't it?
The more when they say I am a knight, I am a clown, I am an native american.
Of course not always, but once in a while I have to live it out and want to be treated as such. The rest of the time I feel comfortable not to be a knight, clown, native american.

I think that is a bit hard to get for someone who's not involved with it.

[Tasha Meredith]

A lot see it a rejection of "manly duty" (including a few GGs). Even if the gurl is only a part-timer, there's a prevailing belief of masculinity being a superior way of life that should never be second-guessed. Likewise, male effeminacy is received as a sign of weakness or inadequacy. That behavior is probably an evolutionary response, so I won't really whine when people can't become tolerant overnight. Just try to set a positive example.

A few friends (including one new CD) I came out to dismissed it as a fetish. From what I saw, this was the part that can turn off GGs because it assumed my sexuality was targeted toward the clothes and not...actual people. It took forever to show I simply admire women in general and want to emulate.


There's really a ton of reasons why people react the way they do. Our disadvantage is we're rarely able to communicate our reasons. So outsiders are forced to draw their own conclusions.

[27th Jennifer]

Maybe it also terrifies a lot of men out there who might see a cd that they find attractive under the assumption that they are admiring a woman. If they find out they are checking out a man, they are afraid that they might be gay, which causes them to lash out. Just a thought.:2c:

[Tasha Meredith]

That's possible. Rooming with a straight guy while I was en femme sort of caused both of us to confront our sexuality a little. I mean, it didn't lead anywhere but there was always that tension. Personally, I avoided CDing around the very young for that reason. Doubting your sexuality can be pretty emasculating sometimes.

[Jenny Wilson]

Tasha Merideth wrote: "A lot see it a rejection of "manly duty" (including a few GGs). Even if the gurl is only a part-timer, there's a prevailing belief of masculinity being a superior way of life that should never be second-guessed. Likewise, male effeminacy is received as a sign of weakness or inadequacy. That behavior is probably an evolutionary response, so I won't really whine when people can't become tolerant overnight. Just try to set a positive example."

I have to agree with Tasha. Most of the world is a male driven society. That is taken to an extreme in the Muslim world, but even in Europe and the US women are perceived as being "second class." They earn less, etc. They aren't considered to be as dedicated to their careers as are men. Granted, there are exceptions, but for the most part this line of thinking is common. "Men' are concerned with "important" things like technology, tools, cars, etc., while "women" are only concerned with clothesm makeup, soap operas, and such. Men are expected to be masculine. To be effiminante is not not be a man, and is frowned upon and ridiculed. I think that is because more value has been placed on masculinity than femininity. We are what we are, from a plumbing standoint, and God forbid we shold deviate from those roles.

The second component is that some women do feel threatened by men who are not doing their "manly duty." I don't think these women are completely at ease with themselves and with their role as dictated by society. Society placed a lot of expectations on men and women, or males and females, if you prefer those labels. Some of us might not feel all that comfortable with those expcectations. We might also have doubts as to how well we are capable of measuring up to those expectations, on an individual basis. Remember how women's magazines used to talk about "super women" who could "do it all," have a successful career, be the perfect wife and mother, and be beautiful and charming?

It took a couple of generations for it to become acceptable for women to wear pants. It's going to take quite a while before it's acceptable for us genetic males to be able to wear dresses and heels in public. At age 55, I know that I won't live to see that day.

Jenny

[Robin Leigh]

Why? Transphobia/homophobia.

Some taboos deserve to be broken!

Robin

[Lindsay]

It took a couple of generations for it to become acceptable for women to wear pants.

That's not the same as CDing, though. How do our experiences compare to those of FTMs? Are they bouncing around in a great big cloud of joy, acceptance and tolerance because, hey, it's only when you don't conform to male stereotypes that the world has a problem with you?

Synchronicity wrote:
> You're asking the wrong crowd, Sweetie. Why not pose this question in a non-crossdresser forum and get back to us.

Rather than posting in non-CD forums, maybe we should try to put ourselves in GGs' shoes mentally, rather than physically :) Seriously though, we're smart enough to know why people have problems with it. Generally it's not because of gender theory or societal norms or anything like that; it's because we're seen as perverts. I mean, I'm a CD and I'm pretty cool with most aspects of sexuality, whether it floats my boat or not, but there are some parts of the CD world that freak *me* out.

[eleventhdr]

You can not accept what you will not or can not understand that's very probaly one of the main reason of why we are not allowed to be ourselves and dress as we do please!

OH well
One of these day's Alice One of these day's!

Suzy!