Remembering our dead, fighting for our living

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Something I wrote for my blog awhile back, but didn't get a chance to post here....

Nov. 20 was the annual Transgender Day of Remembrance (http://www.dayofsilence.org/tdr/), created to memorialize those who were killed (http://www.rememberingourdead.org/day/who.html) -- more than one person per month over the last decade -- due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice. For me, this year it's personal, since I got to know the mother and sister of a transwoman, Krystal Heskin (http://www.jenburke.com/2006/05/09/words-from-the-mother-of-krystal-heskin/), who was killed near Chicago last April.

While there's sometimes acrimony between the LGB and T communities (and sadly too-often within the T communities too (http://transblog.grieve-smith.com/?p=25)), it's worth remembering that those who hate us -- and sometimes attack and even kill us -- don't bother with the sort of distinctions we sometimes obsess over ourselves.

Finally, much as it's important to remember our dead, it's equally important to remember our living. There are still many fights to be fought. Crossdressers in particular need to become engaged. On various crossdressing forums, it's not uncommon to hear the complaint: "but women can wear whatever they want." (Which ain't exactly true, but that's another post.) Guess what, women earned (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminist_history_in_the_United_States) the right to wear pants, to have a broader range of gender expression.

Crossdressers are notoriously politically inactive (although it should be noted that while crossdressers rarely leave the closet, a number transsexuals disappear back into the woodwork as soon as they're able). So the "transgender" organizations end up being predominently made up of transsexuals, and not surprisingly, even with the best of intentions, it's their interests that become top priority. I'm not saying their concerns are unimportant, just that we crossdressers have our own concerns that are also important -- and it's unrealistic to expect them to be given top priority if we're having some else carry our water for us. So if we want our voices to be heard, we need to speak up for ourselves.

(Admittedly, it's tough. The Catch-22 is that because of the stigma, the vast majority of us are reluctant to put ourselves in a position where we may be in the public eye. How many transsexuals would out themselves if they could avoid it? I'm still figuring out how to negotiate the issue of activism and privacy myself. It would a lot easier if I were just fully out, but I confess I'm not quite ready for that step yet.)

But act we must.

[Christina Nicole]

Lets keep this in perspective. Those who are transgendered and murdered are not martyrs for the cause. They are the unfortunate victims of crime, which already is illegal. There are a few people who kill without compunction. It really matters not that the victim is a different color, sex, nationality, etc. Sometimes the only reason is that the victim is available. Murder and violence are illegal now. I doubt that much more can be done with respect to the law.

I see little to gain apropos political activity for transgender issues. All of the political activism isn't going to change my wife's mind, and she's the only person who really matters to me. I already can and do go out. There is nothing to be gained and much to be lost. Even if nothing is lost, expending political capital to gain nothing is foolish. Better to work for change that will truly be beneficial.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[tvbeckytv]

I see little to gain apropos political activity for transgender issues. Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

you see little that will be achieved for you.
here a thing, the world dosnt revolve around you...shock horror

[Christina Nicole]

you see little that will be achieved for you.
here a thing, the world dosnt revolve around you...shock horror

That's the best counter argument that you can do, fella? I, and quite probably the majority of transgendered see little to gain from any activism. Thus, we do not get political. There is no secret about what it takes to make a political statement. I would venture that most crossdressers find that it simply is not worth the cost. The only exception that I can name off the top of my head, are those who transition but do not pass. For example, many, probably most of the post-op TSs I know who are politically active tend not to pass very well as women, while those who do pass as women tend to not be activists. I do not know any FTMs.

People, including the transgendered, will do what is in their own self interest. For me, and for most it seems, that is to not get involved as the risk/reward ratio is quite unfavorable.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[tvbeckytv]

That's the best counter argument that you can do, fella? I, and quite probably the majority of transgendered see little to gain from any activism. Thus, we do not get political. There is no secret about what it takes to make a political statement. I would venture that most crossdressers find that it simply is not worth the cost. The only exception that I can name off the top of my head, are those who transition but do not pass. For example, many, probably most of the post-op TSs I know who are politically active tend not to pass very well as women, while those who do pass as women tend to not be activists. I do not know any FTMs.

People, including the transgendered, will do what is in their own self interest. For me, and for most it seems, that is to not get involved as the risk/reward ratio is quite unfavorable.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

well, fella,
if you bother to read the post properly it was suggesting NON transsexuals need to get active and not hang off the coattails of others.

[Amanda Jane]

The American experiment has at its core the ideal that the expansion of human, civil and political rights for ANYone, is, in fact, an expansion of those same rights for EVERYone.

The human value, which superceeds even the American experiment, is that that every persons death is a loss for all of us.

"Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."
- John Donne

[susananklet]

An excellent post! How true and how sad....:sad:

[MJ]

An excellent post! How true and how sad....:sad:

without getting flamed or back biting here , if we do nothing , nothing gets done. can you please tell me the difference between a cross dresser and a transsexual , we both wear woman clothing right. BTW i know the answer , i am just pointing out that anyone of us could be next , but by the grace of god there go i . FYI we are all in this together. if we want a better life for our self's we have to stand up and do something or we all lose .. the problem is who will do it ?
yes i am scared of standing up for myself and others just in case someone recognizes me and i end up dead ... it's not fair it's not right

and i post my pictures here

[Christina Nicole]

Y'all can jump off that bridge if you want. You can urge others to jump, too. In the final analysis it's all wishful thinking. I think you'll find that you will find that in this endeavor that you will have few followers, but many closeted supporters. As I stated above, the risk/reward ratio is unfavorable. It is not a secret that the ratio is discommodious. Pretending otherwise is disingenuous; therefore, to whom are you urging to action?

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[Christina Nicole]

The American experiment has at its core the ideal that the expansion of human, civil and political rights for ANYone, is, in fact, an expansion of those same rights for EVERYone.


No, that's a poor reading of American History. The American Experiment is that rights of all people are intrinsic to humankind as they are bestowed by the Creator and are therefore part of Natural Law. The government can neither grant nor abrogate rights since rights are not of the government.

You may wish to brush up on your history. Try (off the top of my head) reading some biographies of Adams, Jefferson, Washington, and Madison. Also get and read The Federalist Papers, the Constitution and particularly the Declaration of Independence.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[Amanda Jane]

One of the ways we promoted transgender rights in SF was to play up the tourist angle. SF is now the number one TG vacation destination as well as being the number one gay tourist destination. That's a lot of jobs for a lot of people. Its good economic development. Its good business. GLBT day at the Giants is a hoot. Get to wear my little back skirt, orange top and sit in the sun and watch the boys of summer. Good for me, good for the City, good for the Giants.

These are basic human rights, and core American values. "I got mine, tough for you" is not.

You might try reading Martin Luther King's work, he writes a lot about rights.

Silence never won rights. They are not handed down from above; they are forced by pressures from below. -- Roger Nash Baldwin

"Everyone has a right to peaceful coexistence, the basic personal freedoms, the alleviation of suffering, and the opportunity to lead a productive life..."

and

America did not invent human rights. In a very real sense, it is the other way around. Human rights invented America. -- both by Jimmy Carter


However, the real truth, the core about why action must be taken is the lesson that Hannah Arendt learned covering and writing in Eichmann in Jerusalem: A Report on the Banality of Evil (1963). She wrote, that:

The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be either good or evil.

You might try some intelligent discourse and a bit less lecturing.
P.S. Your reading of American history is slightly bent, and hence, off the mark.

[Sally24]

Those who are transgendered and murdered are not martyrs for the cause. Sometimes the only reason is that the victim is available.
I think you'll find that most transgendered people who are murdered are not victims of a random crime. They were murdered for who they are, not where they are. The more society accepts or understands us, the less bias against us. The less bias that is accepted as normal, the less we become targets for the sociopaths among us.


There is nothing to be gained and much to be lost. Even if nothing is lost, expending political capital to gain nothing is foolish.
That's the story of fear that has always argued for inaction. It was used when people tried to fight for freedom as a country, freedom for races, and freedom for females and gays. The argument that you won't benefit from political action could quite possibly be true, many patriots and heros thru history have not recieved the benefit of their sacrifice. That doesn't mean it was in vain or the wrong choice. Sometimes you have to think of more than yourself. Much in the way that we veterans have and continue to serve. A few sacrifice much or all for the many and that is the way we survive and advance as a people.

That being said, I personally am not ready to be a visible sign for change in my male mode. In my female mode I do my best to interact with the people I meet and give them reason to rethink their perceptions of gender variant people. It is one of the aims of the group I am a member of and we meet alot of people (young and old) in the hotels and clubs that we visit. I think that in itself is a good thing that in the long run can make a difference.

The old saw "if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem" can be quite apropos (debate team types are so fond of fancy words that I thought you'd like)

Sally

[Eugenie]

Finally, much as it's important to remember our dead, it's equally important to remember our living. There are still many fights to be fought. Crossdressers in particular need to become engaged.

I completely aggree Marlena,

That's why with a group of Transgendered sisters we launched the idea of another day for T* people, a day for the ones who are trying to have a better life as X-dressers, even and perhaps mainly those who are in the closet and subject to discrimination even from the people whom they should feel most suportive... See the thread on "Inernational T* Day" (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=46120)

Contrary to some negative comments made after your post, I think that it is specifically those in the closet who might benefit most of a day of public awareness on transgender. It would hopefully provide a far more positive image of x-dressing than that which is all too often given in the medias.

A better media image may not convince all SOs who are rejecting their husbands x-dressing, but it may helps quite a few. In addition if the general public was made more aware of our reality, there might be somewhat less hate crimes against some of us wh go out in the streets.

You are right, it is our duty to advocate for our rights, but even more so for making the public more knowledgeable about who we really are.
:hugs:
Eugenie

[Amanda Jane]

What else do you do with political capital, its not like you can bank it and draw interest on it or anything. Its a use it or lose it deal.

I think that in the places that have accomplished this that life got better for everyone, not just a few. It got a lot better for some, granted. But it was better for all in the end.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Christina,

I'm sorry that nothing will change your wife's mind, but my experience is that it's definitely been possible to change other people's minds.

Activism doesn't necessarily have to be marching out in the street. Sometimes, it's just showing people "this is what a crossdresser is like." For example, I checked out a local plus-sized boutique today. I could've used the fiction that I was shopping for a girlfriend, but choose to say that, yes, I was shopping for me. Which started about a 15-minute Trans 101 discussion with the women running the boutique. Who were quite accepting, but learned a few things (most CDs are hetro-ish, the vast majority of transgendered people aren't interested in transitioning, etc.).

I understand different people have different comfort levels, so there's no "right" way to do activism any more than there's there a "right" way to be trans. For someone who's deeply closeted, it could be as something like speaking up when somebody says something derrogatory about trans people. It doesn't require outing oneself, one can simply say you think everyone, as a person, deserves a little respect.

Fact of the matter, society has changed dramatically over the past 50 years. The South before the civil rights movement was quite a different place. Likewise, it was very different for gays and lesbians pre-Stonewall. Or for women before the women's movement. So I have to respectfully disagree with your contention that things will never change. Except if we choose to make that a self-fulfilling prophecy.

[Amanda Jane]

I think your right about that MD. So much has changed, and continues to. There are over 20 years worth of TG rights laws passed. The earth did not spin off its axis. The nation stood. Life goes on. These laws have stood up in court, and there is no need to reinvent the wheel, just cut and paste into your local law.

There is a shift in the political landscape going on also. It will make it possible to pass a lot more of this legislation. The largest increase in voters in the last election was in those under 25. Meanwhile, the supporters of the old conservative movement are not getting younger. The religious right, the site of so much of our opposition is fading and there seems to be more of a trend to more progressive values and ideas.

[Kimberley]

Political activism while it can have some benefit in terms of legal definitions, does require some visibility from political champions. A crime against one who is transgendered is often classified as a hate crime however this is at the discretion of the prosecutors. Regardless, it doesnt stop the crime nor will it. Punishment has never been shown to be a deterrant by any statistic I have ever seen.

As to political action groups, there are numerous ones who dont seem to want to stretch themselves too far. They will lobby quietly and often get lip service and a pat on the head. Most changes legally have occured in the courtrooms.

The real change will have to be grass roots just as Marlena has pointed out. It means standing up for ourselves instead or hiding behind excuses for something as simple as shopping. Changing minds means interaction not legislation. I too have stated I was shopping for myself on more than one occasion and not met anything worse than passivity.

Our younger generations are far more tolerant of gender differences but those attitudes have to be nurtured and maintained. This is another reason I am an advocate for the support of transgendered youth. They are the future. When we see high profile people in everyday walks of life out of the closet then we will have succeeded. Society will have changed but it has to start at the bottom. Someday the boardrooms will be open but for now they are closeted.

We have the ability to promote our cause through personal contact and through the pen. I do my best on both fronts.

Good thread Marlena.:love:

:hugs:
Kimberley

[Amanda Jane]

9 states and 89 cities, towns and countys have such laws already, some dating back as far as 30 years now.

a complete list can be found at:

http://www.transgenderlaw.org/ndlaws/index.htm