I almost didn't get caught today!

[Samantha Jane Foster]

Not to make light of those of you who are trying to hide your crossdressing-- I feel bad for your plight.

But I have the opposite problem, and I wonder if anyone else also has it. You see, I wear girls' clothes all the time-- I don't own one male article of clothing. Sure, the clothes I wear in public are mostly subtle-- lowrise flair bottom jeans with stitchings that have heart patterns. Ballet flats. Espadrilles and cork wedges. Lacy camis under my tops. My nails are painted clear pink.

Yet I can't seem to get my coworkers and people I run into to figure out what's going on with me. You'd think they'd realize I want to be a girl. Some probably have guessed it, and I've told a few people here. But people are always saying "sir." I'm always getting lumped in with "the guys." You're also treated differently as a man-- the female coworkers will be discussing shopping and their kids and so forth, then I walk in and they ask me about the Super Bowl.

I'm wondering-- did I move too quickly as far as dressing up but not being totally passable? You girls seem to have more fun going out in public with wig, make-up, breast forms. Maybe by still having a sort of masculine face and shorter hair I just send mixed signals. I guess I'm more transgender than CD, so I should go to the other forum. But the bottom line is: I like girls' clothes more than guys', and I wonder if anyone else just likes to wear a juniors cap sleeved tee instead of a boring regular old T-shirt? Not completely en femme, or wearing only panties underneath, but somewhere in between?

[Jenn S.]

I can certainly relate on the jeans. Low-rise flaired jeans are a hell of a lot more comfortable than men's jeans. They're not as baggy and don't shift as much. I just go with regular women's t-shirts for tops, since my shoulders look a little obvious.

[celeste26]

The fashionable "in between" state some of our younger folk prefer. Without the clearly defined and feminine characteristics (such as the clearly defined bust line) there is a general deferral to the male gender these days.

[hotbobbie]

I to also wear womens clothing all the time. I think we have gotten to the point of men wearing womens clothing and women wearing mens society has just gotten to the point that it just part of who we are now. It is no longer a big thing or different.

[Sandra]

. I guess I'm more transgender than CD, so I should go to the other forum.

This forum is for transgendered people so why go to another forum.

If you feel comfy in what you wear then carry on doing what you'r doing, if on the other hand you want to be recognised as a girl and addressed as one then perhaps to have to do a bit more for people to take a bit more notice.

[Samantha Jane Foster]

Sandra-- I see there is a Transsexual Forum here too, whereas this forum might be more for men who like to dress up as women and maybe pretend they're a woman for a while but wouldn't get a sex change. Maybe I got my terms "transgender" and "transsexual" mixed up.

It's like today-- I'm wearing some UGG wooden clogs with shearling trim and rivets. Very trendy, cute. Victoria's Secret catalogs have pages of shoes just like them. But with me wearing them it looks like I'm trying to be a 1970s Blaxsploitation film pimp! And the other day I was wearing a long link silver necklace by Ralph Lauren and the effect was not that of a cute girl-- like the pic on Nordstrom.com-- but a gangsta with chains.

In other words, I wear what a lot of girls wear-- ballet flats, capri pants, a pink Yankees cap-- but people don't seem to figure out that I want to look like a girl, not a "dandy," as they used to say. They do make a lot of unique-looking shoes and other clothes that gay guys often buy (or metrosexuals)-- but all you have to do is open a VS catalog and you'll see most of my style. Do I really have to wear a dress, wig, makeup and breast forms to get the point across that my wish is to be a girl?

[Sandra]

Do I really have to wear a dress, wig, makeup and breast forms to get the point across that my wish is to be a girl?


No you could tell them :)

[Leslie16]

First time i was out enfemme, I wore girls jeans, a girls tee shirt, oxfords, and of course panties. No one knew. I didn't want them to. But then I thought -- what's the point! Its all been dresses and pantyhose and heels ever since.

[Samantha Jane Foster]

I did think about having my own "coming out" party in the office, with Barbie plates and cups and napkins. Announcing I want to be a girl. But I would think that over six plus years, without me trying to hide it, they'd figure it out on their own. I also don't like drawing attention to myself and then hearing the negative responses. I doubt such a party would go over very big.

[Karren H]

Sounds like you need to start wearing skirts and dresses... Then there will be no mixed signals!!

When I go out enfemme... It just that... Feminine! Not the casual maleish clothing that most women wear..

But that's just me... Sounds like your problem isn't really a problem per say.... but a sytle thing!! Ever thing of trying to get on "What not to wear"?? Lol. Most girls here would die to have a problem like yours!! Lucky girl!!

Love Karren

[Samantha Jane Foster]

I watch "What Not To Wear" with my mom sometimes, and they're *mean*! But I wish I looked like the girl on there, especially with her makeup.

My goal is to have a completely smooth face and body, then I can wear more makeup and maybe a short wig and tops with a lower cut. At that point hopefully people will do a double take: "Was that a guy or a girl?" I just want to make sure I look cute and not ridiculous. But I probably won't wear a dress to work. It wouldn't look as good without breasts and the people here would know they weren't real. Also, a straight up and down figure sometimes doesn't look good in a dress, unless you're short. I might venture out far enough to wear a peasant skirt with leggings, but they do have a dress code here (I've ignored the tie requirement successfully, and happily).

[Amy Hepker]

Hi Samantha,
I understand that you want to look and wear the clothes of a girl, but it sounds like you are still trying to keep a masculine side present. Like you want to look like both. If you really want to look like a girl you have to act like one too. Your manerisms will give you away as a guy. There are a lot of women out there with shorter hair these days, so that should not be the problem, like you say once you get rid of the extra hair that maybe what you need. But as far as your work and the people that you have been working around for so long, well, sometimes it is hard to see someone the oppisite of what they know they are. Try wearing a wig someday to enforce the fact that you are trying to be Female. It could be that they just don't want to support the idea of you changing over. There could be a lot to it. GOOD LUCK!

[Julie York]

Maybe they think you are subby camp poof stereotype. "Are you being served?"







Most people can't leap from that to TG. They don't have the information to work with.

[Samantha Jane Foster]

Actually, Amy, I want to eliminate everything about me that is masculine. But whereas I notice a lot of girls here dress up so they can pass (and do a great job too), yet are men the rest of the time, I'm in a situation where I want to wear women's clothes *all* the time, and look as feminine as possible. But I don't want to wear dresses, loads of makeup, and a wig just to go to work. I'm not even sure I would look that good-- and that's really the point. To look good. So I sort of go halfway with cap sleeved tees, lacy camis, capri pants, ballet flats. The way the college girls around here dress. And my initial problem was: why can't people see I'm trying to dress like a girl, and not refer to me as "sir" or treat me like I'm one of the guys? Should I maybe add some eyeliner and eyeshadow to the mix so the message is loud and clear?