People who know i crossdress at work

[DanielleAnne]

Hi, Is indirect make fun of talk of someone else other then me crossdressing still harrassment towards people who do like myself?? It seems that not a day goes by that the lead tormentor mentions someting about xdressing. One day he told my boss in the morning meeting that yesterday Dan told me he crossdresses. I did not say that. Why to some people is xdressing such a unusal thing to them? Why?// Maybe some one would allow me to contact them for further advice and knowledge. Thank you

[bobbielynn]

i would say that is harrasment. so what happened after the tormenter said that to the boss? can't leave a story unfinished. well u could, but i'm interested in the reaction.

[Rikkicn]

That is harrassment

[Amy Hepker]

I worked with a guy one time that I am sure was a crossdresser, but he never said he was, but always talked about it. He had a saying that if he would have been born Female there would be another hooker on the street. I really think he wished that he was one. He was really tall, about 6'6", so he never would have passed no matter what.

[noname]

This may call for what I call, damage control. For me, I think it would involve letters from lawyers, and the like. Nothing threatening, just a friendly, don't think about firing this guy. I'm guessing it would be best to make it open knowledge to management and HR

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

It's harassment.

Whether it's legally considered harassment depends on the laws of where you live as well as your company's policies. Generally you can only sue if the abuse is related to a "protected status," for example, race or gender. Typically the important phrase in your sort of situation is protecting people from harassment based on "gender expression" or for being "transgender" -- although the latter often tends to mean "transsexual" in practice.

Regardless of whether you can claim protection on these "grounds, it sounds like you've got justification to complain to your manager or HR on the more general grounds of being bullied by your co-worker (which doesn't necessitate outing yourself). Whether you want to do so, is only something you can decide, based on:
- your company's culture - i.e. regardless what's on paper, what's their real attitude toward bullying
- your position in the company and your tormentor's position - to be realistically cynical about it, if one or other of you is considered a star performer or is tight with the powers-that-be that's gonna make a difference in how the company will react
- how closely you and your tormentor work together -- i.e. how is it easy to keep the two of you separated (without having things to do like transferring one of you to a different job)
- all the other things that will play a role in how the company is likely to handle -- or not handle -- the situation

The other things to do is document, document, document. If you do decide to take up the issue with your manager/HR, it will help your case if you provide a detailed list of when incidents occurred, what was said, who was present, etc. Makes it harder for your tormentor to deny that it's happening (and it subtly signals that should things escalate to legal action that you'll have the necessary details to pursue).

The good news is that workplace bullying does seem to be a growning concern. (http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/01/21/BUG7DNKKN61.DTL) The bad news is it's still quite commonplace and companies often turn a blind eye to bullying by managers.

Consequently, while ideally I believe it's good to stand up to bullies, much as I hate to say it, there are times (if it's clear the company won't take things seriously) where it may be more practical to request a transfer if feasible or even look for another job if need be.

[julie w]

I think if you want to keep working at your job .I would just laugh with them if it doesnt bother you they will give up trying to get a rise out of you, if you start using the harassment card one its difficult to prove as the workers
wont be on your side two you will need deep pockets to fight a company
three the employer may try to get rid of you if possible and risk paying
you if you win in court , and remember if you win the lawyer will take the
lions share . so think hard before you act , Years ago I was spotted enfemme
by a fellow employee and I know he told everbody I would get the odd comment .I made out I didnt know what they were talking about .I even told one guy I didnt like the comments and if he kept it up I would take this f@#% head off , but that not the answer either
I just found a better job and left

[diane59]

Being in a quasi HR position in Florida, it is sexual harassment all the way. I do not know the laws in other states but if one of my employees complains about comments of this nature, I have to interject immediately and ask the offender to cease & decist immediately of risk losing his/her job. There are severe legal consenquences for ignorance.

[Wendy me]

That is harrassment .. OK what to do ??? you could file a complaint with your boss or employee relations .... or you could just simply tell the lead tormentor , look we have a police abought harassment here ... i am not playing games please stop this now... if you keep it up i will go to personal and file a complaint .... you could be sued and also lose your job .... do you relay think your stupid games are worth that much to you??? your choose .... you have your options next time we play hard ball .... have a nice day.... and say no more....