The problem with being a real woman

[Jesse69]

Well - I think the big problem with being a woman is -- guys! Like so many men are unattractive or losers (when women think of income) that finding the right guy is so hard! And sometimes the handsome hot guys are gay or crossdressers (huh?).

Like... aren't all the men Britney Spears has been with kinda ugly (my opinion)? The guys she has been with lately (after Federline) are ugly! Like why can't a hot woman like her find a nice hot guy? Obviously, Britney has poor taste in guys.

I sometimes pretend I'm a woman looking for a man and only a few times I see men that I'm attracted too (if I were a woman). It makes me wonder sometimes when I see a beautiful woman with an average, or ugly, or fat guy -- makes me wonder what she sees in him!

Another problem with being a woman is the preoccupation society has for slim women. Women are so obssessed with weight because lots of guys hate fat women! So many women's magazines talk about weight loss and diets!

What do real women have to say here? Opinions wanted!

What do you other crossdressers think of guys in general?

[Marla S]

What do you other crossdressers think of guys in general?
Most are boring, most are grey, most are highly addapted. Nevertheless there are some interesting and funny ones with personality. Prototype beauty isn't everything, neither for men nor for women, and on the long run boring most of the time, because it is superficial and fading. I can see why some men are considered attractive (even those you might call ugly), but I can't really understand it ... I don't have to.

I have the impression that couples tend to become grey and "boring" together, the wife and the husband; daily routine.

[michellebesweet]

That is an imagination you have. People have choices. Some make good choices and some make bad choices. I don't think because you are good looking and successful, that you should only date or marry good looking and successful people. Nor do I believe because you are a fat, ugly loser, you should only date or marry other fat, ugly loser's.

I believe that the beauty of one, is what is inside, not outside. I also believe that not only women, but men too, make choices based on thier trust in believing in a partner that they feel comfortable with. Life is not just material things, its emotions, its feeling safe in someones arms, and its enjoying life with someone you love.

If we all picked the good looking ones, it would be a lonely world out there, and we all would have missed many good opportunities for happiness.

[noname]

IMO most men dress pretty sloppy and for the most part are lazy. Too lazy to look nice, too lazy to care about the clothes they wear. Generally, to me they seem pretty dirty. Yes, I know there are those that are not. But yes, over all lazy, too lazy to fight for their rights to be treated like human beings.

Women are no angels either though. I was at the docs today and I over heard a couple of women, one of which worked there. She talked about how she wants to do other things in life, but shes looking to find a good guy that has a decent income because she needs some financial assistance. Too bad so many women are leaches.

[Teresa Amina]

when our GG members start piling on :D

[Carroll]

I have always said the best looking people are gay, married or a relative.

[Amanda Jane]

Point one - K-Fed (or now, FedEx) was a stud service. He did his job, gave her pretty babies and was put out to pasture.

Like men, woman are human, and hence very dualistic. Sure, they want a guy who looks great in a suit. Who wears a tux like Sean Conery as 007, Robert Redford or Paul Newman in the Sing, or Humphry Bogart in Cassablanca. But it also makes them all hot and runny to think of that same Paul Newman out cutting weeds with sweat rolling down him in Cool Hand Luke, or Robert Redford in Cowboy gear in Butch Cassidy or Humphry in the African Queen.

They want a guy who is comfortable at the opera and can fix the washer. Who is good with babies but also can defend them if need be.

Just like men want a woman who is a complete and total lady out in public and a wonton total pervert in the bedroom. Think Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast @ Tiffinys' and Traci Lords in some XXX movie.

Money is nice either way.

[Bluebird GG]

it doesnt matter whether cding or trans, we are all cut from the same seed we are all individuals what we want is our own progretive, what we floats towards is our own thing, at the end of the day we are all equal because God made us from His own image.:thumbsup:

[RobertaFermina]

Fortunately there are pheremones to help bridge the gap between supply and demand.

If it don't make sense, nature provides a vehicle to make us crazy enough to not care about it.

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[Kate Simmons]

Bottom line is people are people and aren't going to change any time soon. Somehow through all of this, the human race manages to survive. As a group, guys are this, as a group girls are that. So much for blanket observations. It comes down to the individuals and who they are as people and what their feelings are for each other. Aside from so called "normal" society, you throw TG into the "mix" and all bets are off and it's an entirely different ball game. That's kind of why, with myself, everyone kind of floats or sinks on their own merit and I always consider them for who they are inside as a person, gender disposition notwithstanding. It's neat to take the time to actually get to know people and I enjoy playing the "game" to an extent but in the end my instincts and feelings win out and that is how my perception of a person and my response to them is determined. Just people being people really and all part of the game we call "life".:happy:

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

iam what iam, so what im volumptoeus ( love that word ) !! if "some" men are that shallow to judge a GG on weight etc, then sorry. its whats inside that matters. making a man laugh, making him feel @ ease , is far more important !! these super-thin modles etc maybe ok on the eye, but they lack personailty !!
we are what we are :D & i dont live by what people think i should look like/be . iam what iam, take it or leave :D
( sorry, but i have strong views on things like that ) !!

[Brianna Lovely]

I suppose that if you're out "hunting", looking for someone, your vision may be clouded by un-realistic expectations. But, I'm reminded of the phrase, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", fat, thin, young, old, rich, poor, female, male, we all need love.

In the last three years, I've met hundreds of men, most of them seniors. One thing that impressed me, was the deep love, shared by many couples, some who've been together over forty years.

I don't judge the people I meet, but share my love, with them. Whether it's a friendly hello, a welcoming kiss, or a warm hug to ease their pain, after loosing a loved one. I always try to see the beauty in people.

[kerrianna]

I don't judge the people I meet, but share my love, with them. Whether it's a friendly hello, a welcoming kiss, or a warm hug to ease their pain, after loosing a loved one. I always try to see the beauty in people.

:hugs: Brianna, you've just described the secret to true, deep happiness. :love:

[cocopuff's girl GG]

Beauty is ONLY skin deep but ugly is TOO THE BONE. A fat woman/man can lose weight but how do you lose ugly? What's on the inside is what counts to me..... Not all but most people who are beautiful on the outside tend to walk around with their nose in the air and to me that makes them lose all that beauty. :2c: :love:

[Joy Carter]

iam what iam, so what I'm voluptuous ( love that word ) !! if "some" men are that shallow to judge a GG on weight etc, then sorry. its whats inside that matters. making a man laugh, making him feel @ ease , is far more important !! these super-thin models etc maybe OK on the eye, but they lack personality !!
we are what we are :D & i dont live by what people think i should look like/be . iam what iam, take it or leave :D
( sorry, but i have strong views on things like that ) !!

So true WB !

I have a friend who is very pretty. She told me once that she thought it was a curse because guys were afraid to ask her out. I told her it probably was more fear of rejection. She then told me pretty much what WB said here.

[Angie G]

Maybe Britney just has no taste or smarts :hugs:
Angie

[Sandra]

Well I would prefer the guy who isn't the most attractive because most of the attractive/good looking ones are so-far up their own a**** it's unbelievable.

As for the weight issue any one who judges another person with a weight problem is just a waste of time. The papers and magazines have all these stick people in them with clothes that hang off them and they call this beauty!!!!!!
Another thing it's not just the papers and magazines that go on about losing weight, it has been here on the forum, some replies have been helpful but some have been down right rude.

I'll finish with Wickedblondes comment

"I am what I am, take it or leave it"

[Casey Morgan]

I'm trying to remember how I put this in another thread. It's mine, which is probably why I can't remember it exactly.

"The kiln of inner beauty can ruin the most attractive of glazes and turn the plainest of glazes into works of art."

Something like that anyway. I'm human too, there are people I am initially attracted to based on their looks. But in the long run that isn't what matters. It's who a person is, what's in their heart, that ultimately matters. The outside is no indication of the inside. Which is why physical attraction is both a good thing and a bad thing.

And we also need to be careful not to assume that "beautiful people" are ugly inside. Some are, some aren't. It's another example of judging someone solely by the way they look.

[Marcie Sexton]

Speaking from the GM's view, yep you hit the nail on the head...I personally have made remarks about over weight people [ male & female }, poked fun behind their backs. Then I started hearing the same thing about me.

Perhaps it was a blessing, but after my wife got sick, she also put on a large amount of weight...I then realized that she was still the same gal I married 20 years ago, just a larger version.

I have since then learned all about life. I've been fat, now I'm thin, my wife was thin, then fat, then thin again...I suppose all I'm trying to say is 90% of the GM's are real A** holes:2c: , giving the guys who are or learned to be nice and considerate a bad rap...

I'd like to think that looks isn't what we see when we fall in love, but perhaps the whole person...I will admit though I've often thought to myself, why is she/he with that person, but size and looks isn't what influences my thoughts...To me "actions speak louder than words"

Being an A** hole or a smart A** is a learned trait with the support of all those who have laughed at remarks made about those that may not be pleasing in ones personal view...:2c:

[Tree GG]

Beauty is ONLY skin deep but ugly is TOO THE BONE. A fat woman/man can lose weight but how do you lose ugly? What's on the inside is what counts to me..... Not all but most people who are beautiful on the outside tend to walk around with their nose in the air and to me that makes them lose all that beauty. :2c: :love:

A contagious smile, a laugh, a generous hand up, a strong shoulder to cry on, a sincere pat on the back.

Those things are beautiful whether found in traditional, modern, old or young beauty. I can honestly say that even though I may notice an exceptional good looking man (appreciating that the universe does good work), I am not attracted to him. I have found my soul mate and there is no one else I want to be with. As we age, I think he's just as good looking as the day we met - maybe even better looking. I liked his appearance but that's not why we're still together.

Such a waste of time to only focus on the superficial. God - the universe - gave us all some really special gifts and attributes. It seems kind of petty to me to spend so much time worry about what you didn't get and covetting what someone else got. Rejoice in who you are and who they are. Spend your energies being the best you can be and beauty will surround you.

[Tamera]

My opinions on this subject are:
1. Everyone (No matter their shape, smarts, etc.) has someone out there for them.
2. In a relationship don't get pregnant. Expecially thinking this will keep you together and happy forever. Give yourself a waiting period, say 3 years.
3. You need to set guidelines when looking for a partner. Such as does he/she have a job, does he/she do drugs. My daughter goes through guys like washing her hands and then goes through depression when things don't work out.
4. Getting someone is a lot easier than keeping them. There are people who have been divorced many times and then there are long term relationships.
5. You also must be prepared for the ever-changing future. Such as loss-of-job, partner getting a catastrophic illness, losing health insurance, filing bancruptcy, etc.

Relationships are trial and error. Take your time!!! What ugly, or unattractive is to one person may not be the same to another. Yes our packages are different but its whats on the inside that matters. Sorry about touching a certain subjects but your question can lead to other questions.

[Sheila]

A contagious smile, a laugh, a generous hand up, a strong shoulder to cry on, a sincere pat on the back.

Those things are beautiful whether found in traditional, modern, old or young beauty. I can honestly say that even though I may notice an exceptional good looking man (appreciating that the universe does good work), I am not attracted to him. I have found my soul mate and there is no one else I want to be with. As we age, I think he's just as good looking as the day we met - maybe even better looking. I liked his appearance but that's not why we're still together.

Such a waste of time to only focus on the superficial. God - the universe - gave us all some really special gifts and attributes. It seems kind of petty to me to spend so much time worry about what you didn't get and covetting what someone else got. Rejoice in who you are and who they are. Spend your energies being the best you can be and beauty will surround you.

Tree you say what I would like too only far better than I ever could.
Thankyou my friend for your wisdom and inner beauty that shines over and above your exterior beauty

Jess

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

Actualy, i think "Dawn French" is gorgeous, beautiful, & shes a volumpteous woman :happy: & i also believe it isnt always looks that attract people to each other. if you have known someone for awhile, often the attraction has been made through conversation, just talking & learning about each other :happy: you shouldnt judge a book by its cover :D

[janedoe311]

Beauty is ONLY skin deep but ugly is TOO THE BONE. A fat woman/man can lose weight but how do you lose ugly? What's on the inside is what counts to me..... Not all but most people who are beautiful on the outside tend to walk around with their nose in the air and to me that makes them lose all that beauty. :2c: :love:

Some of the kindest and most “beautiful” women I have known were what most people see as homely.

I have known many beautiful woman that were shallow, stupid and some that were down right nasty and were users.

You can not judge someone by their looks; a good doctor can fix that. But a good doctor cannot fix your personality.

[Melinda G]

Gimme a break! I've been single for 26 years now, after 17 years of marriage.
Just try and find an attractive woman over 40, with a decent figure, who dresses well, heels, dresses, makeup, etc, who has some interests, besides grandkids, shopping and bingo. One of the main reasons I dress up, is because most women dont!

[RobertaFermina]

When I see women, as a GM in MaleBeing, I see her for who she is inside by the energy she radiates, as well as her appearance.

I also see her as someone I would be judged for associating with.

If I am attracted to a voluptuous woman, I need to weigh whether my fulfillment with her outweighs my fear of being judged by other people for 'settling' and not seeking out a more challenging conquest. I actually have this thought pattern learned into my psyche - appalling as it sounds.

I experienced this with my ex-fiancee. I met her on the phone and had a brilliant 45 minute conversation with her, and invited her to a date, so we could get to know each other better. I liked her so much, I couldn't just put the phone down after saying 'perhaps we'll meet someday.' I was so glad, giddy even, when she accepted, and amazed at my (relative to my patterns) forwardness.

When I went to the Tea House, and went to the front door, I peeked in, and saw a bright freckled red-head seated at a table, and no one else. I also saw that she was above 200lbs and about 5'2" tall.

I hesitated, and checked in with my gut. I reminded myself that here was a person I was so impressed by that I arranged my own blind date, and here I was feeling judgement of her. Whatever I thought about it, I stepped forward into six years of bliss, learning, misery, and learning that I reflect on with joy and sadness, and no regret. She is still voluptuous, and if she did not have a boyfriend, and she would have me, I would seriously consider getting back together. Love Remains.

All that time my connection was to her as a person, and my desire was to make something of our lives, support her in her dreams, get her support for mine...alongside my desire to flee from the hurts and confusions that are inevitable in relationship.

Her weight was never an issue during those six years, yet I once stood at a threshold, considering whether to cut that possibility off, in judgment of her appearance.

What made the difference? The Golden Rule. I wouldn't want to be judged that way, I'd want a chance to show someone who I really am, why shouldn't she have that chance. Game Over. We both won.

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[Sheila]

I am one of the fat ugly women of which you speak, but, I have the heart of a lioness (and the temper to match), the gentlness of gossamer, and one of the kindest men on earth by my side who just happens to be drop dead gorgeous and has incredible taste and me to top it off:tongueout

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

me to jess , iam a big fat minger :D but ive the heart of a pussycat, and i care about people, and a big softie:happy:

[Sheila]

wicked u forgot blonde to boot :tongueout :tongueout

[Sandra]

Gimme a break! I've been single for 26 years now, after 17 years of marriage.
Just try and find an attractive woman over 40, with a decent figure, who dresses well, heels, dresses, makeup, etc, who has some interests, besides grandkids, shopping and bingo. One of the main reasons I dress up, is because most women dont!


Perhaps you shouldn't be so picky :rolleyes:

[SusanTL]

Hi.

What ever problems a GG has. I would take them in a nano second to be a real GG woman.

Susan

[Sherlyn]

I'd just like to know why ..the person who stirred the pot ....is avoiding his issues so far ??

[Sheila]

Active Members: 6,802 and less than 100 of those are GG's and you wonder why??????????

[Sherlyn]

I think Jesse 69 has a little to much starch in those extreme suits ...losin' up those collars ...

[TV Wannabe]

Well - I think the big problem with being a woman is -- guys! Like so many men are unattractive or losers (when women think of income) that finding the right guy is so hard! And sometimes the handsome hot guys are gay or crossdressers (huh?).

Like... aren't all the men Britney Spears has been with kinda ugly (my opinion)? The guys she has been with lately (after Federline) are ugly! Like why can't a hot woman like her find a nice hot guy? Obviously, Britney has poor taste in guys.

I sometimes pretend I'm a woman looking for a man and only a few times I see men that I'm attracted too (if I were a woman). It makes me wonder sometimes when I see a beautiful woman with an average, or ugly, or fat guy -- makes me wonder what she sees in him!

What do you other crossdressers think of guys in general?

All of this seems really shallow, I mean their are hundreds of guys on this website with loving supportive wives that accept them for who they are not what the media says that they should be. I think you should consider media portrayl of what a man really is and what a human definition of a man is.

[Samantha Jane Foster]

I think K-Fed is kind of cute, actually. Justin Timberlake was more annoying to me. But I'm a huge Brit Brit fan so I shouldn't go off on this topic.

Like most Britney fans often do, I like to quote Bertrand Russell: "For my part I distrust all generalizations about women, favourable and unfavourable." And the same for men. Which is why stand-up comics who do the men-are-like-this, women-are-like-that routine don't appeal to me. Each person has an individual experience, shaped by external and internal factors.

Or, to quote another philosopher, "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman."

[Joy Carter]

Jess and WB will you guys stop !:Angry3: Everyone has qualities that out shine the so-called bad one's. I don't know what Jess looks like but you must be a fabulous woman to be with Clair. And WB you look really great and you have such a great Witt about you. I'd not hesitate to walk down Caranby street with you.:D

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

[quote=Joy Carter;722728]Jess and WB will you guys stop !:Angry3: Everyone has qualities that out shine the so-called bad one's. I don't know what Jess looks like but you must be a fabulous woman to be with Clair. And WB you look really great and you have such a great Witt about you. I'd not hesitate to walk down Caranby street with you.:D[/quoto
oh my :blushing:

[Bev06 GG]

Periods and the price of Tampax. Sorry to lower the tone, but its soooo true.
Bev

[Bev06 GG]

Gimme a break! I've been single for 26 years now, after 17 years of marriage.
Just try and find an attractive woman over 40, with a decent figure, who dresses well, heels, dresses, makeup, etc, who has some interests, besides grandkids, shopping and bingo. One of the main reasons I dress up, is because most women dont!

Awww Melinda,
Im 46 dont like bingo, love dressing up, dont have Grandkids, am not overweight and have lots of interests. Now we mustn't put people into categories must we, that would be like saying that all cross dressers are sexual perverts wouldn't it.
take care sweetlegs
Bev

[great gg]

try menopause, the losing fight with gravity, the cost of all things female and having to put up with jerks who worry about breasts, cleavage, looks and all the superfiicial stuff. what makes a person like that think that he could attract a good looking woman? many a beautiful woman passes any number of men by, not because if how the men look, but because of how they think, and act. my 2 cents.

[Sierra Evon]

many times I've put myself in as thinking Okay !!!!!, now if I were a gg and looking for a man , ??, I dont like what I see, out their :thumbsdn: , ditto , lots of losers ......

[Tamera]

Lots of Estrogen flying!!!

[Sheila]

Okay your female, now face the fact that your partner is a CDR. How u gonna cope with that

[Jesse69]

Well - I think the big problem with being a woman is -- guys! Like so many men are unattractive or losers (when women think of income) that finding the right guy is so hard! And sometimes the handsome hot guys are gay or crossdressers (huh?).

Like... aren't all the men Britney Spears has been with kinda ugly (my opinion)? The guys she has been with lately (after Federline) are ugly! Like why can't a hot woman like her find a nice hot guy? Obviously, Britney has poor taste in guys.

I sometimes pretend I'm a woman looking for a man and only a few times I see men that I'm attracted too (if I were a woman). It makes me wonder sometimes when I see a beautiful woman with an average, or ugly, or fat guy -- makes me wonder what she sees in him!

Another problem with being a woman is the preoccupation society has for slim women. Women are so obssessed with weight because lots of guys hate fat women! So many women's magazines talk about weight loss and diets!

What do real women have to say here? Opinions wanted!

What do you other crossdressers think of guys in general?

Hey, this is all I said when I started this topic. I didn't condemn fat ugly women. I said society puts so much pressure on women to be slim, and that a lot of guys generally don't like fat women. But it's funny how being fat doesn't affect a guy - women would still like him. But there are few men that like fat women too.

I've had very few relationships with women. And 2 were slightly overweight but I didn't hate them for it. And one beautiful girl - turned out our personalities didn't match.

I was just stating that it's hard for a woman to find the right guy, and that when I look at guys (pretending I'm a woman) - I find a lot that I don't like.

.. And that Britney Spears has poor taste in men!

[Shelly Preston]

WARNING



Please keep this thead on topic and free from insults or it will be closed

[tvbeckytv]

how can a straight guy, non transsexual even begin to imagine what women will see in men....you arnt wired to get it.
this is a wierd topic..thats if ive understood what the topic is

[Sheila]

????????????????????

[Sherlyn]

How can you state >>>
I was just stating that it's hard for a woman to find the right guy, and that when I look at guys (pretending I'm a woman) - I find a lot that I don't like.

Seems pretending makes assumptions !!!!

[Nigella]

... Hey, this is all I said when I started this topic. I didn't condemn fat ugly women.

To make a comment like this is inflamatory in itself. What right has any of us to call another human being "fat or ugly" Who gave us the right to label another?


I said society puts so much pressure on women to be slim, and that a lot of guys generally don't like fat women.

Society does not control us, we do, you can tell "society" where to get off, I certainly do". Did you do a poll of guys to ask them if they "don't like fat women"?


I was just stating that it's hard for a woman to find the right guy, and that when I look at guys (pretending I'm a woman) - I find a lot that I don't like.

Only one person can say "its hard to find the right guy" and that is the woman doing the looking, her taste in men may be so precise that it could be hard to find the "right guy". Ok so when you look at a guy (pretending that your a woman, of course) what do you look for, and what do you see that you don't like


.. And that Britney Spears has poor taste in men!

Who is Britney Spears??? :)

[lady lycra]

They want a guy who is comfortable at the opera and can fix the washer. Who is good with babies but also can defend them if need be.


Sounds like someone I know... ME!!!

Not really into opera but I write poetry. I make up stories for children.
I'm an electrician (washing machines are easy), bloody good mechanic, and I was a stay at home dad for 5 years (all through the nappy stage). I also grew up in the rough end of town and stand 5'11" in my stockinged feet :) Not what you'd call petit.... So I guess I tick most of the boxes...
I also like to dress all girly now and then, have a keen eye for what looks good and will go shopping for days on end without complaining.

If I wasn't already married... I'd ask myself :)

LL

PS... Can we cut all the crap that's flying around, and drop it.
Life is too short to get arsey with like minded people.

[Jesse69]

It seems like I can't often talk about issues concerning weight without people taking me the wrong way. This also happened in another thread where I said it's good to lose weight so you can buy a bigger selection of clothes on ebay especially at size 8. Then people condemned me for being insensitive, when I was just stating good advice because my own weight loss opened the doors to a big beautiful clothes collection.

I stated what I said on societies pressure for women to be slim because I see all over women's magazine on topics of dieting all the time. And I've seen it plastered all over the web for diets. And then have you ever noticed that men's magazines like Playboy, Maxum, or FHM & etc. have never pictured an obese woman as an ideal of beauty?

I didn't mean to say that all men hate fat women. One of my best friends married a fat woman and he is very happy with her. And I don't complain about that!

And if you don't know who Britney Spears is you must be from another planet!

[Ashleigh GG]

Far too many men judge women based on their weight. If I were a man, I would want a woman who loved to cook, loved sex, and loved to laugh! A great smile never hurts, either. When I look at other women, I find a lot of so-called heavier women very attractive - it's the sparkle in their eyes, the joie de vivre (joy of life) they carry with them. Being a woman is difficult for another reason entirely - it's called a menstrual period!!! LOL :P

[Sheila]

Far too many men judge women based on their weight. If I were a man, I would want a woman who loved to cook, loved sex, and loved to laugh! A great smile never hurts, either. When I look at other women, I find a lot of so-called heavier women very attractive - it's the sparkle in their eyes, the joie de vivre (joy of life) they carry with them. Being a woman is difficult for another reason entirely - it's called a menstrual period!!! LOL :P

AFL if I were not already taken and blissfully happy with my guy I would be throwing my hat into your ring

Jess

[ChristineRenee]

iam what iam, so what im volumptoeus ( love that word ) !! if "some" men are that shallow to judge a GG on weight etc, then sorry. its whats inside that matters. making a man laugh, making him feel @ ease , is far more important !! these super-thin modles etc maybe ok on the eye, but they lack personailty !!
we are what we are :D & i dont live by what people think i should look like/be . iam what iam, take it or leave :D
( sorry, but i have strong views on things like that ) !!Wicked...you...are...AWESOME babe! :love:

[Jodie_Lynn]

Who defines "ugly" or "attractive"? What is "normal" and what is "weird"?

Sure, its easy to lay the blame on "society", but ya know what?

WE are "society". WE decide what is attractive or ugly from our own, unique POV.

But, I've noticed that if YOU feel good about yourself, others tend to pick up on it.

And, before anyone starts throwing out labels like "fat", "skinny", ugly, pretty, weird, normal, or what ever else, they should take a long hard look in the mirror.
The "freak" just might be the face staring back at you.

Final word: Love yourself, and make no judgements on others.

namaste

[Tamara Croft]

I sometimes pretend I'm a woman looking for a man and only a few times I see men that I'm attracted too (if I were a woman). It makes me wonder sometimes when I see a beautiful woman with an average, or ugly, or fat guy -- makes me wonder what she sees in him!

Another problem with being a woman is the preoccupation society has for slim women. Women are so obssessed with weight because lots of guys hate fat women! So many women's magazines talk about weight loss and diets!

What do real women have to say here? Opinions wanted!
You know, I've read through this first post I don't know how many times and I fail to see why so many of you have got your knickers in such a twist!!!!

Jesse hasn't mentioned anyone on this forum, she was simply posting her observations when she is out or reading through magazines and I'm pretty damn sure, not one of you haven't thought the same thing, when you've seen an attractive woman/guy with some guy/woman that you wouldn't look twice at.

And no matter what you all say, it's true about magazines, there's always some goddamn diet in it, it's always on the TV - lose this, eat this..... blah blah blah..... and yes, women are obsessed with weight, they are always saying... oh I'm too fat.... oh I need to diet... oh blah blah blah....

Instead of picking Jesse's first post to bits, reading in between the lines, why don't you try reading it properly and stop condemning her for everyday things I bet you all have thought about or said to another person. :thumbsdn: :thumbsdn:

[Lilian]

Actualy, i think "Dawn French" is gorgeous, beautiful, & shes a volumpteous woman :happy: & i also believe it isnt always looks that attract people to each other. if you have known someone for awhile, often the attraction has been made through conversation, just talking & learning about each other :happy: you shouldnt judge a book by its cover :D

you are so right she is a lovely lady and so full of fun, Beauty is only skin deep and its like everyone said its whats on the inside that counts.

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

Wicked...you...are...AWESOME babe! :love:
cheers hun :D :hugs:

[Tina Dixon]

I just started reading this, and stooped, I'm a average fat guy in drab, so I'm not good enough for a bimbo like Britney Spears? Well I am and for any woman out there, but I got a great lady:D

[Carlacd]

Britney Spears, has had more hands up her dress then the muppetts:D

[AngGG]

You know, I've read through this first post I don't know how many times and I fail to see why so many of you have got your knickers in such a twist!!!!

Jesse hasn't mentioned anyone on this forum, she was simply posting her observations when she is out or reading through magazines and I'm pretty damn sure, not one of you haven't thought the same thing, when you've seen an attractive woman/guy with some guy/woman that you wouldn't look twice at.

And no matter what you all say, it's true about magazines, there's always some goddamn diet in it, it's always on the TV - lose this, eat this..... blah blah blah..... and yes, women are obsessed with weight, they are always saying... oh I'm too fat.... oh I need to diet... oh blah blah blah....

Instead of picking Jesse's first post to bits, reading in between the lines, why don't you try reading it properly and stop condemning her for everyday things I bet you all have thought about or said to another person. :thumbsdn: :thumbsdn:


:iagree:

[janedoe311]

Perhaps you shouldn't be so picky :rolleyes:

My wife is over weight and a wonderfull lady.

[RobertaFermina]

I am absolutely capable of innocently insulting someone. If anything I say here insults you, please tell me. I would want me a chance to understand, and make amends.

That said, I hope to do good for everyone through these words...

The impact of Jesse69's words is SELF-EVIDENT, and I feel DEAD CERTAIN Jesse69 is innocent of any intention to irritate, insult, or demean any woman.

I feel the pain, and anger, and astonishment expressed here is not a conspiracy to attack Jesse69. I see it as a fund emotion due to insults, judgments and internalization of media and societal messages.

I have heard that noon can make a person less through words and messages, that it is up to the individual determine and manifest their inalienable self-worth. It is also arrogant to expect anyone to fully manifest from the root of their being that wisdom which must be learned by examples, in this world where such examples are the exception. Words often hurt, and it is hard work to let the hurt go, or arrive at a state where we are immune to their wounding.


For a woman, being a woman is a given. Woman is. Women are. No adjectives are necessary.

BUT! being seen as a woman, a fountain of power, life, nurturing, and mystery and <your favorite womanly attributes here>, gets complicated by the must-have attributes of "slender", "compliant" etc. When bombarded by these messages that make womanhood conditional...you are a woman if....well that can cause a woman to doubt herself, or to grow her own inner warrior to banish such doubts and messages from her Queendom.

When I look at a woman and dismiss her because she doesn't have one of these must-haves - then I am denying her right to self-determination, and the appreciation she deserves for the essential miracle that she is.

Were I to be a woman so judged, in my vulnerability it would depress, and respecting and protecting my vulnerability, I would rise in anger.

I feel that way when judged about certain masculine/male attributes, except that the new must-have is that men should not get angry, so I only get depressed.

The important truth is:
I DON'T LIVE MY LIFE AS A WOMAN AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE WORDS LIKE 'SLENDER', AND 'FAT' AND 'UGLY' MEAN 'YOU DON'T EXIST', 'YOU AREN'T WORTHY', AND 'GO AWAY'.

Deep in my gut, these words have only their dictionary meaning to me, as a man, despite the fact that for 20 years I ranged in weight from 250 to 300 lbs - no one doubted my manhood over that. For many women, they are hand-grenades, barbed spears, bitter acid, or atom bombs.

Innocents can hurl them innocently, and those wounded by them can innocently blame those who hurl them.

When there is innocent action that leads to real pain, what is there to do ?

Absolve the innocent, and diminish the reality and pain of the anguished? That diminishing would feel like a repeated insult. It is not my place to say what is to be done.

I think there is no sensible solution that preserves the relationships of the participants as it is. Our relationship to these messages, our status as men and women, and to each other must change.

People in 'privileged groups' (men) that 'innocently' transgress upon those in a 'target group' (women) will not find peace until they realize the power of their words - they must accept an end of their ignorance. It is also true that those in the target group can become so exasperated with the constant society-sanctioned barrage of insult that they lose any hope of healing and bridging the rifts that have been created. They must accept that healing and forgiveness is possible.

Has this kind of wounding happened Here?

Can this kind of healing happen here?

In this community of people seeking care and support and fellowship and encouragement, I do think that respect, and forgiveness and being honest and open enough to earn trust, and courageous enough to trust and risk the inescapable betrayals by loving, however imperfect beings....I think these would be nice ingredients for the healing pot....


In Love and Service,

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[Deborah]

I don't often agree with Jesse69, but this time i will. So TameraGG's post should be read again by those who disagree.
If i recall correctly Jesse69 was also over weight and lost a lot of it. So it's not like she doesn't know what it's like. ;)

Oh and in response to the title thread i don't care what the problem is with being a real woman it sure beats being a "real" man.

[GACountrygal]

Well - I think the big problem with being a woman is -- guys! Like so many men are unattractive or losers (when women think of income) that finding the right guy is so hard! And sometimes the handsome hot guys are gay or crossdressers (huh?).

Like... aren't all the men Britney Spears has been with kinda ugly (my opinion)? The guys she has been with lately (after Federline) are ugly! Like why can't a hot woman like her find a nice hot guy? Obviously, Britney has poor taste in guys.

I sometimes pretend I'm a woman looking for a man and only a few times I see men that I'm attracted too (if I were a woman). It makes me wonder sometimes when I see a beautiful woman with an average, or ugly, or fat guy -- makes me wonder what she sees in him!

Another problem with being a woman is the preoccupation society has for slim women. Women are so obssessed with weight because lots of guys hate fat women! So many women's magazines talk about weight loss and diets!

What do real women have to say here? Opinions wanted!

What do you other crossdressers think of guys in general?


Now I havent read anything but the initial post, so this might have already been said...

It makes me wonder sometimes when I see a beautiful woman with an average, or ugly, or fat guy -- makes me wonder what she sees in him!

Because there are women out there who are not shallow, and care foe the person within:2c:

[Country girl]

You know, I've read through this first post I don't know how many times and I fail to see why so many of you have got your knickers in such a twist!!!!

Jesse hasn't mentioned anyone on this forum, she was simply posting her observations when she is out or reading through magazines and I'm pretty damn sure, not one of you haven't thought the same thing, when you've seen an attractive woman/guy with some guy/woman that you wouldn't look twice at.

And no matter what you all say, it's true about magazines, there's always some goddamn diet in it, it's always on the TV - lose this, eat this..... blah blah blah..... and yes, women are obsessed with weight, they are always saying... oh I'm too fat.... oh I need to diet... oh blah blah blah....

Instead of picking Jesse's first post to bits, reading in between the lines, why don't you try reading it properly and stop condemning her for everyday things I bet you all have thought about or said to another person. :thumbsdn: :thumbsdn:

You know Tamara, when I first read this, I had the exact same thoughts you had. Unfortunately I was on my way out the door and wasn't able to post to it. But you are right. It isn't like she was picking on anyone. She was just stating that, like you said, what we have all thought. Some of us have felt them as well. I am only 5'2" and at one time in my life I weighed almost 300 lbs. Yep, that's right 300. I was married to a goodlooking man who was 6' and weighed 180 lbs.I'm sure, in fact i know, his family wondered why he had married me. Well today I weigh 115, but I'm still the same person, make that the same woman, I was then. I have a great personality, an infectious laugh, a wicked tounge:eek: , and I throw the best superbowl parties in the state of Texas:tongueout . Life is what you want to make it. It doesn't matter how goodlooking your spouse is, beauty comes from within, and someday, if we live long enough, none of us are going to look all that hot! Don't judge a book by it's cover. Because if you do you might just be missing out on the greatest read of your life!

[Country girl]

Gimme a break! I've been single for 26 years now, after 17 years of marriage.
Just try and find an attractive woman over 40, with a decent figure, who dresses well, heels, dresses, makeup, etc, who has some interests, besides grandkids, shopping and bingo. One of the main reasons I dress up, is because most women dont!


Melinda, I'm with Bev on this one. At 48, I think I look better than a lot of 25 year olds:tongueout , but hey, alot of that has to do with personality and attitude. I don't smoke, LOVE to dress up, don't have grandkids and most likely won't for at least 6 more years, and I don't play bingo. But then again I have a lot of interests and keep myself young looking by enjoying life as much as I can.

[janedoe311]

You know Tamara, when I first read this, I had the exact same thoughts you had. Unfortunately I was on my way out the door and wasn't able to post to it. But you are right. It isn't like she was picking on anyone. She was just stating that, like you said, what we have all thought. Some of us have felt them as well. I am only 5'2" and at one time in my life I weighed almost 300 lbs. Yep, that's right 300. I was married to a goodlooking man who was 6' and weighed 180 lbs.I'm sure, in fact i know, his family wondered why he had married me. Well today I weigh 115, but I'm still the same person, make that the same woman, I was then. I have a great personality, an infectious laugh, a wicked tounge:eek: , and I throw the best superbowl parties in the state of Texas:tongueout . Life is what you want to make it. It doesn't matter how goodlooking your spouse is, beauty comes from within, and someday, if we live long enough, none of us are going to look all that hot! Don't judge a book by it's cover. Because if you do you might just be missing out on the greatest read of your life!


And don't you forget it!

[Country girl]

And don't you forget it!

Awww Jane, that's so sweet. Thanks for saying so. Even I have my days when I look in the mirror and all I see is a ugly ole lady.:eek: But I always give myself a good hard shake and remind myself that beauty comes from within AND beauty is as beauty does!
:hugs: CG gg

[kathy gg]

Jesse, the first thing I would answer in regards to this post is that *beauty* is truly in the eyes of the beholder. What I consider beautiful, you may not.

As for *tradtionally* handsome men....well I can appreaciate male handsomeness, but the person may only be truely beautiful if once I got to know them and figure out for myself if they are as beautiful on the inside as on the outside.

To me, my husband is absolutly handsome and gorgeous and everything about him makes me melt and makes me so happy he loves me right back. Is he GQ movie star material? Probably not....but to me is a gorgeous as Brad Pitt or any movie star. he looks that way to me because he is good to me, treats me with love and respect and makes me laugh and knows how to make me feel better when I am sad.

When the day comes {and for everyone's sake I hope it eventually does} and you find someone who loves all that you are as a person, inside and out, you will understand how one person can be with another. Even if that person may not look like the traditional idea of handsome or beautiful.





Well - I think the big problem with being a woman is -- guys! Like so many men are unattractive or losers (when women think of income) that finding the right guy is so hard! And sometimes the handsome hot guys are gay or crossdressers (huh?).

Like... aren't all the men Britney Spears has been with kinda ugly (my opinion)? The guys she has been with lately (after Federline) are ugly! Like why can't a hot woman like her find a nice hot guy? Obviously, Britney has poor taste in guys.

I sometimes pretend I'm a woman looking for a man and only a few times I see men that I'm attracted too (if I were a woman). It makes me wonder sometimes when I see a beautiful woman with an average, or ugly, or fat guy -- makes me wonder what she sees in him!

Another problem with being a woman is the preoccupation society has for slim women. Women are so obssessed with weight because lots of guys hate fat women! So many women's magazines talk about weight loss and diets!

What do real women have to say here? Opinions wanted!

What do you other crossdressers think of guys in general?

[JoJoGG]

It's not whats on the outside it's what's on the inside that counts. Beauty is only skin deep it's how you feel about a guy and how they make you feel when you're with them. I am with a guy that is heavy but his weight has nothing to do with it. No he don't look like some movie star but he is the person i fell in love with. Also the person i'll love forever no matter what happens.:cheer:

JoJoGG

[toygun22]

not to sound icky, but the biggest problem with being a real cick is periods, that is why im glad im a cd..haha

[Jesse69]

Well, multiple childbirth pregnancy is a real pain too. Saw a woman with sextuplets on tv and her stomach was so big I thought it would explode!

[Paulacder]

Lookat it this way the advantages of being a Crossdresser over a Real woman is that a Crossdresser 1. Cant get Pregnant 2. Don't have Periods 3. Cant get Yeast Infections:tongueout