What now?

[pocoyo]

Er, do you ever wonder...

If you transitioned and became complete, what if suddenly it felt like there was nothing to aim for? Nothing to work towards? Nothing to look forward to now you've transitioned?

Like... you've been working so hard to be recognised as a guy/girl for so long, and sort of FIGHTING.... that what if you suddenly felt overwhelmed and empty and lost, when all the fuss was over and you were finally complete?

I know that you probably wouldn't... I mean we can still keep making our bodies the best we can and how we want them, through exercise (or eating junk-food/drinking beer... what ever our aims are :p). There are also far more important things to worry about in life rather than gender.

Hmm, talking of which, what if gender was a helpful distraction and now that's sorted out we have to face up to other problems?

Haha I know I know, I think/worry too much sometimes.

But it's a consideration!

A friend of mine has gone through a similar thing recently where she had an illness for ages... then got better and suddenly felt lost because she'd been "fighting" for so long, she didn't know what to do with herself.
(And no I do not mean that being transgendered is an illness.. I merely draw the parallel to serve a point... as you well know, so don't even think of picking on me any mean people!)

On the other hand it might just be totally wonderful and such a relief to finally feel complete and right, and life might be much more fun and happy.
The transition may actually even help cancel-out some problems (which could well have been caused by the original "imbalance" in the 1st place.)
Which is, after all, what we hope isn't it.. that things will feel so much better afterwards that even if we did feel flat it would only be for a moment then we'd get back to feeling "ahhhh!"?!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again....Oooh the confusion.

Hmmmmm :thinking:

[Adam]

transition is a part of my life is does not define my life i already think myself as male i dont fight to the end i simply makeing my life the way it should be to me.

i have many hobbes ect i go out enjoy my life when im fully transtioned i will feel complete and happy but i wont feel lost because i still will do all the things i did before transtion


hope that makes sence :D

[pocoyo]

Yeah it totally does :)
Excellent

[Kate Simmons]

Hi Poc, I'm to the point of being balanced(balancing my two sides that is) and kind of felt the same way. Your comment to stay gave me inspiration though. Even if we feel we are "complete", we can continue to improve on who we are as a person, make our relationships better with our family and our friends and continue to have a positive outlook. I've gotten inspiration from all of my friends here and love you all. It's no mean feat to come as far as we have as a community and we should continue to have pride in our accomplishments. Don't forget also, we are examples of people who don't give up easily even if the going gets tough sometimes. I can truthfully say that I am extremely proud to be a part of the community and consider myself a better person to have known you all. We'd certainly be missing a lot if we simply said there is nothing left to do.:happy:

[suzy]

You mean sort of like a dog that chases cars all his life and then finally he catches one?:straightface: Then what?:eek: Look for another car? hummmmm....

[Marcie Sexton]

If I were to transition fully and acheive the total female body, then I could work on perfection...Put a goal just out of reach and strive to reach it...and another, and another...

[Abraxas]

I know what you mean, poc, and I'm not sure. My brother actually once asked me a similar question (then again, it was totally in a different context).
He paralleled 'House' (don't hit me for bringing that up again lol)... Wilson says to House (for those who don't know, he's got a bum leg) that he's defined himself by his illness, in the way that some people who get chronic diseases do. Like with AIDS. AIDS testing is 99% accurate, which means that some people are tested positive when they really aren't. When they find out they're actually negative, usually they get depressed because they've defined themselves by their disease. 'Suddenly what made them, them, isn't real.'
What my brother said was something along the lines of 'What if you aren't really Trans-- what if there's just some sort of chemical imbalance going on in your brain, which could be corrected?'
And that made me think. Also made me really upset, and I realised he was right. I've more or less 'defined' myself as Trans, and if that suddenly went away, I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I would never want for this to 'go away.'
So I think, poc, that you've taken this situation a step further, or in a slightly different direction anyway. I'm not entirely sure whether, if I transitioned fully, I'd think in that exact way about it, but it's definitely something to consider. I don't plan on fully transitioning anyway, for loads of reasons (in fact, at present I can't see myself taking this too much farther than I already have), but maybe there's a possibility that what you've said was at the back of my mind or something.

Anyway, hope that made some sort of sense (just woke up, haha!), and that I've more or less answered your question. :happy:

[Kimberley]

In my view, transition (to whatever degree) is the icing on the cake. It doesnt define you, your beliefs, attributes, goals or anything else. You already have those in abundance. Transition only lets you move on with your life with more ease than previously.

:2c: Cha ching!

Okay, just my opinion that is worth ...

:hugs:
Kimberley

[CaptLex]

You're making me think . . . which is hard enough to do without the dope . . . :p I think the answer depends on whether you see being trans as a permanent thing (like being tall/short, brown-eyed/blue-eyed, left-handed/right-handed, etc.) or whether you see it as a temporary thing that would be over once you transition or decide not to. I'm not sure that made much sense to me either.

In my case, I see it as a permanent part of me, regardless of whether I transition, and not a goal or problem to be solved. But if it were a temporary condition, then I can see feeling like "what now?" when that becomes a thing of the past. I think I need a nap now.

[Sheila]

Gives Capt a nudge to wake him up :heehee: :heehee: you won't sleep tonight if you sleep during the day:tongueout


Poc, interesting question but one I fear a bit like the chicken and egg senario

Jess

[Lex]

Interesting. And yeah, it probably would be really weird to get there and not be working towards it. But maybe it would be like dieting, where you need to keep working to stay on the weight you get to, maybe you'd need to keep working to stay at the gender you get to? Maybe you should find some fully transitioned FtM's or MtF's and ask them about it?

[ZenFrost]

I think that once you've finished fighting for something, you can just find something else to fight for. Goodness knows there's enough things to fight for in this world.