addiction

[bobby-joe]

I have come to the conclusion that crossdressing is similar to an addiction. Say like drugs, smoking, drinking,

These are my thoughts:

1-the person feels so good when they "use" they cannot stop
2- they sneak and hide to get their "fix"
3- they borrow, steal, hide money to support habit
4- it is usually done in private so they wont get caught
5- they lie, cheat, to SO and children
6- it breaks hearts and marriages
7- they don't see what is so wrong about it
8- they hurt the people that love them
9- it consumes their everyday thoughts that they cannot fuction
10- they calculate the next time the opportunity will arise

maybe I am having a tough day, and need to vent my thoughts
Any other SO's feel this way????
cheers

[JoAnnDallas]

Most addictions like smoking, drinking, drugs are nasty habits. CD is not nasty. Also habits are something you want to stop doing. I don't want to stop CDing. LOL

[Joy Carter]

bobby-joe. Had I been allowed by society to be myself this wouldn't be the problem it was. Now that I'm semi retired and old enough to not give a flip. I have gently settled down to self acceptance and I like who I am.:D

[susie evans]

call it what you want i don't do any of the things you mentioned and a lot of people don't the first thing you have to do is except your self

susie

[marie354]

I used to hide my CDing, but since I have found this site and realized that it really is OK to have these feelings, I have accepted it as a part of me. I since have told a few friends and both my brothers. My SO already knew. Hiding really is not fun, unless you are playing hide-N-seek with your grandchildren.
:hugs:

[Peggy55]

Well Bobbi-Joe I'd have to agree with you in general. But having said that bear in mind that people do things for as many reasons as there are people! At 51 I've only been crossdressing for about 5 months but I am "addicted" and can relate to alot of your line items. The other thing I've developed is the seemingly constant compulsion to shop the thrift store for more! Doesn't matter how many black slips ect. I have....this one's nice I'm buying it! I collect antiques as well which I could also argue is an addiction!

[Salina]

bobby-joe, One major difference between the 3 addictions you mentioned as
an example (smoking, drinking, drugs) and CDing is those addictions can and in many cases will kill people, where to my knowledge CDing will not. I can point out many other big differences as well, but I will say CDing has for me at times taken on some characteristics of addiction. It appears to me in my short time here that most if not all of the folks in here can and do function very well in their lives.

[renee99]

One major difference between the 3 addictions you mentioned as
an example (smoking, drinking, drugs) and CDing is those addictions can and in many cases will kill people, where to my knowledge CDing will not.

Now trying to suppress CD for an entire lifetime on the other hand ...

[amanda barber]

"crossdressing is like an adiction" is an easy statement to make without SA counciling training, especially with your carefully chosen examples, but crossdressing more closely reselmbles a treatment regimen than an addiction.

[darling_felicity]

I think points 5,6,7 & 8 are very debatable and at least vary with each of our circumstances.

But the most important thing is that unlike smoking, drinking or drugs, we are being true to ourselves. Sometimes for the first time in many years. Those of us who hide it from SO and families do it as least as much for their protection as our own. A lot of us who cannot come out in the open sacrifice parts of ourselves still for the happiness of others.

Luv, Felicity

[RobertaFermina]

I get it that CD behavior has played a part in turning the world of those you love for the worse. I am sorry to see you or anyone suffer over this gift, that can become an obsession.

I wish you much love and healing, and clarity and courage to do what is right to discover your part in restoring harmony.

As a recovering addict, and a 12 Stepper, I rely on this:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things that I can,
and the Wisdom to know the difference.

Wisdom I have received says that a time of pain and anger is seldom a time to reach for solutions - it is a time to find understanding and compassion.

I hope you find it or that it finds you. You can look in my direction, and PM me if you wish.

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[JC]

an addiction such as alcohol or drugs starts at a much older age than many crossdressers.

the addicitons mentioned harm all involved. playing dress up is not harmong me or my body

jc

[Karren H]

Nahhh... I can stop any time I want to......I just don't want to!!!

Love Karren

[Megan_Girl]

I'm sorry to here your having a tough day and I hope the venting helped.

We're here to help, talk or just listen anytime you need us.

Having had a bit of experience with addiction and recovery I think I can say.... that for me anything I would do to excess and to the detriment of me, my family or my life could become addictive. too much work, sex, exercise, food, booze or golf *** as examples.
I have to maintain a balance in my life of the things I want to do and the things I need to do. I have come to realize that I'm not Superman and no one expects me to be him. There are things I can control and things I can't. I simply turn over those things in my life that I have no control over to my higher power and get on with those things I can.
I have found in my short time back to CD'ing that the times when I can get in some "Megan Time" are happy calming times and aid me in my ability to relax and cope with the world and it's clamors.
I hope you can find something that does this for you as well. And just ask if we can help in anyway.
XXX
Megan






***(although I don't think you can have too much golf)

[Butterfly Bill]

Since having come out 12 years ago none of what you have listed applies to me. I do everything in the open, buy things in stores honestly, don't have to lie or hide because everybody knows as soon as they see me, and I don't spend any more time thinking about it than anyone else would about puttingon the clothes they normally wear.

[Suzie S.]

First of all, venting is a good thing Bobby-Joe. In part, that's why we're all here on this forum. To talk to others, seek advice, give advice, and get our problems and issues out in the open.

I agree that there are some similarities, but by itself crossdressing is not harmful. It is something at least I know I HAVE to do. I could not give it up. Giving up crossdressing would be harmful. I think harm comes from the lies and deceipt entwined with the crossdressing. As for me, my wife knows and accepts me for who I am. She knows because she is my wife and I don't keep secrets from her. As for friends and other family, they don't know, and there is no harm in that.

That being said, I do agree that, looking back, I now dress more than I did a couple years ago. Will I dress even more a few years from now? If I do, and my wife is not OK with that, now I AM causing harm. The old expression 'too much of a good thing' comes to mind.

So, I thank you for your post as it reminds me to keep my actions in check and be aware of whom they might be affecting. Nothing in excess is good, for myself, and the ones I love. Sometimes we get carried away, it's human nature.

I just think the term 'addiction' gives crossdressing such a bad name. :2c:

:love:
Suzie S.

[crossing-the-rain]

I have come to the conclusion that crossdressing is similar to an addiction. Say like drugs, smoking, drinking,

These are my thoughts:

1-the person feels so good when they "use" they cannot stop
2- they sneak and hide to get their "fix"
3- they borrow, steal, hide money to support habit
4- it is usually done in private so they wont get caught
5- they lie, cheat, to SO and children
6- it breaks hearts and marriages
7- they don't see what is so wrong about it
8- they hurt the people that love them
9- it consumes their everyday thoughts that they cannot fuction
10- they calculate the next time the opportunity will arise

maybe I am having a tough day, and need to vent my thoughts
Any other SO's feel this way????
cheers
I have to agree #4 # 6 # 7 # 8
I have disagree and never happened #2#3 #5
I have some what agree #1#9#10
Rain