Crossdresser Advocacy

[Stephanie Brooks]

There are a few active threads regarding employment and crossdressing. Let's look at it closer.

Imagine this:

Imagine you could go to work or school as a man one day and as a woman the next. You come and go as you wish, and about the only problem you encounter is they call you Stephanie when in drab or Steven when in drag. You may hold an executive position in your company or high office in your school class.

Socially you may switch on a whim. You might attend a birthday party as a man or a wedding as a woman. The only gender preparation you might need to make is to indicate how you'll attend an event.

Now let's come back to reality.

We are so far from such a world. Can we ever get there? How do we do it? Do we want to do it? Are we willing to fight the good fight to do it?

Understand that no one is going to do it for us. If it is ever going to happen it will be from us.

Thoughts?

[sherri]

We are so far from such a world. Can we ever get there?
I don't know. It's difficult for me to envision it as ever being mainstream. Then again, it would have been difficult for my parents' generation to foresee divorce as commonplace and gays in the news.


How do we do it?
One chance + one person willing to take that chance. Person-to-person + ripple effect.


Do we want to do it?
At my age, I'm not willing to sacrifice my career and earning power to start all over from the bottom. But if someone can understand I'm as competent in a skirt as I am in Hilfiger slacks, yes, I do want to do it. Very much.


Are we willing to fight the good fight to do it?
Give me one supportive person in the organization with enough influence to make my hire stick and yes, I would be willing to cope with some of the inevitable adversity.

[Sharon]

I don't know. It's difficult for me to envision it as ever being mainstream. Then again, it would have been difficult for my parents' generation to foresee divorce as commonplace and gays in the news.


One chance + one person willing to take that chance. Person-to-person + ripple effect.


At my age, I'm not willing to sacrifice my career and earning power to start all over from the bottom. But if someone can understand I'm as competent in a skirt as I am in Hilfiger slacks, yes, I do want to do it. Very much.


Give me one supportive person in the organization with enough influence to make my hire stick and yes, I would be willing to cope with some of the inevitable adversity.

Yeah, what Sherri said. :)

[sherri]

Yeah, what Sherri said. :) Alright! We have an amen from Sister Sharon. Anyone else?



At my age, I'm not willing to sacrifice my career and earning power to start all over from the bottom. I've also thought about getting a part-time job on the side, not because I need the money, but so I can have the experience of dressing at work.

Surely there's a business out there that could use a sweet girl like me a couple of nights a week, or maybe Saturdays? :)

No manual labor or tacky uniforms, please. :p

[StephanieCD]

I'm not willing to fight the good fight. I'm a (excuse the tongue) pussy when it comes to such things.

I think in addition to the many taking a stand support from media will break the societal ice. The various rights movements can be tracked by the lead set on television, when it was applicable (or around).

We need the media. A sitcom about a smart, successful, straight, and charming man who sometimes dresses as a woman at home. Not playing on his dressing so much for humor, except where merited by good hearted gay-ish jokes (ala Will and Grace), and more for the humor in his life. Maybe his search for a woman who'll understand him - dating stuff. Instead of a wacky neighbor he'd have a Jehovah's Witness and a sports fan for a lifelong friend who just accepts him anyway.... that kind of thing. That kind of thing would break the ice a little - it would have to be GOOD though.

As for the work place... it'll be tough as long as they are permitted by law to require men and women to wear different uniforms, etc. Depending on what state and so on the can tell you how many earrings, if any, and how long a hem line must be. For men they can dictate the color pants and state that only pants can be worn, etc. If there were a gender expression movement it wouldn't start in the workplace it would start in the one place we all have in common, above work - the media.

[Vickie-CD]

I agree with Sherri, I just don't see it getting wide acceptance, much less mainstream. I don't want to be negative, but it's just the reality of society as a whole Compareing "GG's" wearing mens clothing to us dressing is compareing apples to oranges. Through history women wore mens clothing because of it being practical in there work, both world wars working in factories, farm work, cotton mills of the south, etc...
We cannot make the same arguement.
In 1930 Marleiene Dietrich made a movie "MOROCCO" (great movie), in one famous scene she is dressed in a gentelmans full tuxedo doing a singing act in a club, she walks into the audience and planted her lips firmly upon another ladys lips. It was controversial, but acceptable. Keep in mind this was 1930. If it had been the other way around, a MtF dressed and kissed another man, it would have wound up on the cutting room floor, totally unacceptable.
Bottom line, if you are not hurting yourself or anyone alse, go for it and enjoy!!
(I DON'T WANT TO CHANGE THE WORLD, BUT I DON'T WANT THE WORLD TO CHANGE ME) quote from Ozzie Osbourne song.
Love,
Vickie

[ChristineRenee]

I agree largely with both Sherri and Vickie. I say largely because I have seen changes, slow though they have been to arrive, in the 40 + years I have been a CD. Could you even conceive of a show for example like "She's A Lady" playing in the straight-laced, prim and proper 1950's?

I still believe that significant change, if it ever is to come, will have to be led by the younger generation. Many things in this country are cyclical. What I am experiencing now is that the younger people are far more tolerant and accepting than even people of my generation, the baby boomers. I certainly want to see this happen in my lifetime, but I just don't think the people of my generation can have the impact on present day society that the younger people can. They are the trend setters now. We can lend them our counsel and support, but I believe if there is a good fight to be fought here, they have to be in the front lines of it and want it as much or even more than we do.

As Dennis Miller used to say at the end of his rants, "Of course that's just my opinion...I could be wrong."

[Nikki A.]

Unfortunatly I don't think things will ever really change in the near future, By the time we are comfortable with who we are, ther are too many responsibilities (financial and family) for most of us to try to break through society's rules.
Only those who are independently wealthy or in the arts successfully are able to flaunt society and do or dress how they want. Imagine if THE DONALD was one of us.

[Maddie Knight]

In time a society that is accepting of all diversity will arive, intill then all we can do is try and dispel common myths about cd'ing ( i.e. we are all gay ).
I agree the media will have to play a big part in this but the signs are already there. David Beckham has been pictured wearing a sarong and pink nail varnish. He his still a roll model for many young men and has emense respect from macho men in the sporting world.
If more men in the media spot light were as successfull as Beckham things would change. Maybe only slowly ( i.e. nail varnish become acceptable ) but our time will come. Its just a shame many if not all on this forum will not see the day cd'ing is totaly accepted.
Its up to us, not to fight society but to educate the next generation of society.
Here's to the future, lets hope its a good one.

[Holly]

In time a society that is accepting of all diversity will arive, intill then all we can do is try and dispel common myths about cd'ing ( i.e. we are all gay ).
I agree the media will have to play a big part in this but the signs are already there. David Beckham has been pictured wearing a sarong and pink nail varnish. He his still a roll model for many young men and has emense respect from macho men in the sporting world.
If more men in the media spot light were as successfull as Beckham things would change. Maybe only slowly ( i.e. nail varnish become acceptable ) but our time will come. Its just a shame many if not all on this forum will not see the day cd'ing is totaly accepted.
Its up to us, not to fight society but to educate the next generation of society.
Here's to the future, lets hope its a good one.Maddie, you are absolutely right! Twenty years ago you would have never seen a television program with gay themes and leads. A hundred years ago women would not believe they would ever vote. Society can and DOES change. We must be prepared to be the agents of that change. Ladies, WE CAN DO THIS! Will it happen in out lifetime? Not likely. But if we begin the process of educating society about who we are, then in the generations to follow, They will reep the benefits of the seed we sow today. Is this a huge task? Absolutely. But the sooner society understands that we are no different then they are, the sooner we will become accepted. We have racial diversity, just as mainstream society has. We have different sexual preferences, just as mainstream society has. We have varied social and economic backgrounds, just as mainstream society has. In fact we are more like they are then we are different from them. That's what we need to concentrate on... the common bonds we have with one another. My $.02, for whatever it's worth.

[Wendy me]

thats a tough one i love wendy everything abought her to be able to dress and be her but be called by "his" name would be a downer for shure............................
i know this would be cheating but if that was to be i would switch names around
then when wendy was out and abought i would be called wendy................
hay it's my dream anyway..............

[Stephanie Brooks]

It's an interesting set of responses. Thank you all!

It's funny. Many of you know my situation; I'm headed toward divorce because of my transgenderism. Suddenly I've less to lose. Sure, I've got money to lose if I mess up at work, but finding another job that pays close wouldn't be that difficult.

Maybe it comes to that. As long as everyone is basically comfortable in their situation, nothing is going to change. No one will push to change things, and those who do will fight in mostly isolation. That's not a criticism, it's an observation and conclusion. It's natural. The gay rights movement might not have happened if not for Stonewall.

A number of years ago I brought Stephanie into the public eye, not much but a little. It is my intention and hope to do the same once I have things resolved in my marriage, whether I remain married or become divorced.

[sherri]

It's funny. Many of you know my situation; I'm headed toward divorce because of my transgenderism.
Divorce, just about anybody's, tears me up. (I think sometimes it upsets me more than the people it's happening to.) Multiply that times 10 when there are children involved. They are worth enormous sacrifices.

Sorry, I don't mean to be melodramatic. I hope you can find middle ground and save your marriage.

[Lavazza]

This might be of interest here:
"Workplace Guidelines for Transgendered Employees"
http://www.tgender.net/taw/tggl/

[Danielle1960]

The closest I think I saw of the media actually trying to address Crossdressing or transgendered issues, was Alley McBeal. I recall the couple of episodes of the very attractive young lady who was really a full time transgendered person. One of the young men (clerks) had fallen for her and they were becoming close. The lady of course had to reveal her complete self in a tasteful manner before things went to far. Of course this was done at a dance when the two were slow dancing because the guy wasn't getting all the hints being provided. He left and in the epilog of the show he went to her appartment to start over because of the feeling they shared.

They never did develop the charactor beyond the epsiode I described. Sort of a shame because they had done such a great job. :confused:

Oh well. We'll have to just take one step on the ladder at a time in order to reach the other side.
Danielle :)

[Fallen Angel]

i can feel for my ladies on this site and realy believe that some day it will happen. but for the time being make the best of it.im one of the lucky ones i can go to work either way. and have done so many times. and im ecepted for what i am and there are many tranns gender friendly places work and play. how far or how willing are you to get there. what will you give up to start fresh what will you sacrifice? to be what you want to be to live your dream.

[Danielle1960]

I think we dress much differently than pioneers of the past but we are the pioneers that will someday be looked on for the sucesses and failures. Slow methodical transformation of soceities attidude towards us is the goal and that happens with each of us individually. An example I had a discussion with a missionary from our church who was rather upset by all the gay marriage stuff. I informed him that marriage has always been a institution of the church and the governments got into the action when they realized there was money to be made. With that I explained too that if the government wants to issues marriage licenses it didn't affect his life in one bit, because his church doesn't support it. He actually hadn't thought of it that way. Then I explained that he should be understanding of those people who fall outside the norms of soceity. Just because one is GLBT doesn't make them a bad person, all it means is that they are struggling with life like everyone else. Hopefully that conversation will mean a change in tolerence later down the road.

I guess all this soap boxing what I'm really trying to say is change comes about by the small conversations we have everyday. Everyone including us live in our own comfort zone. (remember the religouse threads?) and just don't think outside the box.

Danielle :)