What am I?

[Christine Andrews]

How do you know what you are?

I'm confused on this issue and it is on my mind more and more. I cannot identify what I am.

I love dressing up and it is becoming more about comfort and personal satisfcation (as I'm writing this I am as enfemm as I can be and feel natural and comfortable and almost electrically positive). I've come out of my shell and slowly begun to enjoy shopping (in person) and contemplated wprking towards going out in public.

However, I am also scared to do this, I have difficultyt admitting to myself that I do enjoy CD'ing as much as I do and I always seem to feel guilty for doing it even though I am doing nothing wrong.

Although I wouldn't seriously consider transgendering (as far as I can forsee anyway), if I lost my genetalia I would not be concerned if it were altered to be a vagina.

Looking around on this board I see different groups of CD'ers who know what they are and want.

Do I already know what I am and want and simply unable/willing to accept it or can you help me identify what I am?

Thanks!
Kirsty Marie Hall

[Tamara Croft]

You mean transitioning ;) and I wouldn't worry about labels, the most important thing is how you feel and accepting yourself. I don't think there is one term that describes anyone really, but if you want a label, then I'd say you were transgendered, which is just an umbrella term for all ;)

[marie354]

Before I found this site, I was more confused about who I was than anyone, I think. But now, I've only been here about a month now, I feel much better about who and what I am. I am a crossdresser and proud of it. I accept it as part of my whole self. I don't think that I could be complete without all parts of my being.
Keep reading here and I hope that the advice that others offer helps you find the whole person that you are. It's wonderful to feel free.
:hugs:

[Marla S]

Looking around on this board I see different groups of CD'ers who know what they are and want.
I am not sure about that.


Do I already know what I am and want and simply unable/willing to accept it or can you help me identify what I am?
You should at least be willing to accept it. It's there, it's part of you, and it most likely won't go away. Accept that. From there try to integrate it as a normal part in your life. Then you'll now better what you are.

[Marcie Sexton]

My dear, if I may address you that way, we all have issues...( omg if you only knew ). It is simply some of us have learned to deal with them in our own personal way, or even worse hide them...:(

We all need a forum where we can reveal our issues. For some reason, yet to be figured out by me, we have an ability to convey our issues to strangers, who are like like ourselves, but yet different...

As happy as I am, I still on occasion have an issue with transitioning, :straightface: however it is not a subject I am prepared to discuss with my wife. So I rant, rave, vent, scream, fuss, and cuss to my friends here to help me deal with it.

I hope this will give you an idea where I and I'm sure a lot of the other gals stand. This for me is a haven of relief to help me deal with issues that I still have...and VERY GRATEFUL FOR IT TOO, I might add...:happy:

I hope I have helped...and to all the gals, THANKS !!! :love:

[Karren H]

You are most certantly Human.... and any other sub-catagory is just an unnecessary label.... So call yourself what ever you like!! You don't need to be pidgeon holed into any specific catagory....

What you want is totaly up to you! And what ever cirsumstance you find yourself in... Once you figure out what you want and/or what you need then, things get a lot better and more fun!! Did for me!!!

Love Karren

[Christine Andrews]

"I accept it as part of my whole self. I don't think that I could be complete without all parts of my being." (marie354)

This sums up for the most part how I feel about crossdressing. The worry I feel comes as I get closer to accepting this part of myself. I kind of Yo-Yo on this - when I'm up I accept it and more than happy to do so but the guilt that lingers in background pushes me down and leads me to doubt myself and my actions. However Marie354 you have summed up my feelings perfectly in so few words. :notworthy: :notworthy: :bighug:

"It's there, it's part of you, and it most likely won't go away." (Marla S)

This is very true and the part which clashes with my acceptance. I have purged and tried to stop - but it doesn't. Marla S you have told me what I needed to hear - what I know deep down to be true :o - accept it and integrate it into my life. This I will work towards doing as far as my closet will let me.

"You mean transitioning " (Tamara GG)

:silly: :silly: :redface:
That is exactly what I meant - I seem to be dropping more words than anything recently - but once my brain is unpackaged and broken in (its still new:p ) I'll remeber.

Your also right about labels being unimportant and I usually don't care what people think (well, except for my mum and my cat) but I sometimes forget that, thnakyou for reminding me of this!

Thankyou all for the feedback and fro putting up with me and my questions!

Kirsty Marie Hall

[Rachel Signy]

I'm pretty close to you here. My behaviour fits in the "straight CD" camp, but my gender identity is closer to female than male. Somewhere in the middle, really. I agree with the people who say that labels don't matter, but it sure would be nice to walk up to a large group of people and say "err, hey, I think I'm one of you".

[susie evans]

there's nothing wrong with you, you have to imbrace the fact that you are human and have you own values and life to live and except it and move on :hugs:

susie

[gennee]

Self-acceptance is the first step towards self discovery. When I admitted that I love to dress up, I was liberated. I consider myself transgender and a transvestite. I'm very happy with who I am.

It sounds like you may be transgender. Don't let the label define you. We're all different and diverse.

Gennee

:happy:

[Kate Simmons]

It may take a while but sooner or later , you will get a handle on your feelings. The most important part is accepting yourself and enjoying being yourself. No hurry or even necessary really to put on a "label". We are all unique individuals after all and when it comes right down to it, you're just "you". We are glad you are here at any rate and we all help and support one another.:happy:

[Casey Morgan]

I agree with the people who say that labels don't matter, but it sure would be nice to walk up to a large group of people and say "err, hey, I think I'm one of you".

Yeah, sort of the transgender version of not having to do the A/S/L thing everytime you talk to someone. Different people use different identities in different ways, but hopefully you can say "I'm a {whatever}" and people will have a fairly goods idea of who/what you are. But there are two people who posted earlier who (seem?) to use a different identity than I do but we're fairly similar.

Kirsty, you'll have a hard time figuring yourself out until you're willing to accept yourself for who and what you are, even if you're not sure who or what that is yet. I'm glad to see you recognize that.

From there, one of the hardest things is seperating the things we fantasize about from the things we actually are. But if you can start with some things you absolutely know about yourself, it becomes easier to look at other identities and see what does and what doesn't sound like you. Does this particular statement fit me? Why or why not? And looking at other identities gives you a good idea of the questions you need to ask yourself. You may not know you need to ask some of them.

I found that the Wikipedia entry on Transgender (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgendered) was very helpful when I started trying to figure out who I am. The page has changed some in the 10 months since I first looked at it, but Virginia Prince's definition of transgender is the definition of the identity transgender (abbreviated TG) which falls under the umbrella usage of Transgender. It's confusing, I know. An identity which falls under the umbrella. Add to that confusion the fact that quite a lot of people here seem to have moved "someone who... believes that they fall 'between' genders, not identifying fully, or strictly, as either male or female" to other identities (or ignore that part altogether) and it gets even more confusing.

I wish you good luck as you work towards discovering who you are. Remember, we're here to help if we can; that's what support is all about. There's no such thing as a stupid question, and no question is too "minor" to "bother us with".