HRT Why the Councling is Necessary

[Kristen Kelly]

HRT beginning to see why the counseling was needed, over the past year I’ve seen myself go from 100MPH on transformation to a slower pace, the more I have shed my old habits and things that I have changed, the more I question myself. I have learned a lot about myself, just who I am. I am complex, I am in the body of a man but many of my thoughts are not of my given gender.

I have changed a lot about myself in the last year, looking at me I can see many things, but many could only be seen by sitting down with me and talking for a spell. I have become happy with who I have become, I am not afraid to be seen as I would preferred to be seen as. My outward appearance is not of female but a lot farther from the overly macho persona I had tried to portray a mere 10 years ago.

The slowing down, last month I was driven by all the parties and things going on that I was dressed for most of the days of December, this month maybe the winter blues have kicked in but have only been out totally dressed a mere 5 or 6 times. I say totally because other than work I’m wearing low-rise jeans with simple pockets no ornate trim or things, panties, my hair is just touching my shoulders now and I have it highlighted with strawberry tints, a pair of silver or gold small hoop earring can be seen hanging from my ears most of the times even at work. My walk is different I just don’t stomp as I walk as I had in the past, now but without noticing it, I glide as I walk, my head is up and I am happy with who I am.
If I do not go any farther than where I am now I could be very happy, I have made a lot of new friends with the girls from here as well as the local girls I go out with. I enjoy chatting with those who are still finding themselves and looking for the answers and in helping others I have found some of my own answers.

[Calliope]

Myself, I resent the intervention of professionals who haven't walked a mile in my shoes. Some "free market" those Republicans have delivered.

[melissaK]

Some "free market" those Republicans have delivered.

Tut tut Calliope. I know 'you' of all people were not one to buy into the double speak of a 'free market' . . . And, its getting way off thread, but did you hear Bush define "free trade" to the Catepillar factory workers the other day? OMG! "If you make something and you sell it to someone else, well that's trade; and if they're abroad that's free trade." I will so miss his insightful oratory and strategic thinking. Fortunately his legacy will live on in his Presidential Library. . .

OK. Back to Kristens post - Kristen I really like the recount of your personal journey to date. You've recently covered more than a few more squares on the game board of Life.

And its kinda sophomoric, but I always liked the line from "Ferris Buehler's Day Off"* where he says "Life moves pretty fast; if you don't stop to look around once in awhile, you might miss it." So, maybe you've found a weigh station of self contentment where you can stop and look around for awhile.

Hugs,
'lissa

* A teen suburbanites coming of age movie. I kinda raised my kids on it, for good or bad. They're more self aware than I was at their age; and they keep rules in perspective - i.e. they'll cut school every once in awhile to go "look around."

[AmberTG]

I loved that movie!

[Calliope]

Tut tut Calliope. I know 'you' of all people were not one to buy into the double speak of a 'free market' . . . .

Hence those quotes, dear.

Listen to Bush?

I'd rather polish my nails with a hammer.

[Natasha Anne]

I guess we all need counselling for different reasons. In my case I did resent having someone "judge" whether I should be allowed to transition or not.

That change pretty quickly after my first session with the psychiatrist. I went in pretty much convinced that I was going to transition. As a result he accepted what I was saying, and we ended up discussing other things. For example, he was useful when my wife started behaving disgustingly towards me. He was useful in advising me on how to progress with my little children. He asked interesting questions that helped me consider the benefits of transition versus the potential disadvantages. He helped me think through things and he monitored me and ensured I was rushing into things at 100mph.

Of course he hadn't walked a mile in my shoes. He couldn't judge much about me. He could tell whether I was coping healthily with all the changes I was inflicting upon myself.

I went through transition quickly, but always under his watchful eye. I always kept him up to date and we would always discuss my experiences and aspirations. As a result I actually slowed myself down. He was happy for me to proceed with my surgery about 6 months before I felt truly ready. I wanted to learn so much more about my new life. I was successfully living and working as a woman when he said I could have surgery, but I wanted to slip into the whole thing completely and then have surgery. We discussed that often too. It was not a delaying tactic, it was what put my mind at ease. So after I had worked through getting all my mannerisms, voice and appearance just the way I wanted and established a new group of female friends I felt ready. I underwent surgery and have had no regrets at all.

He was important to me, but it was not in discovering whether I should transition or not, it was more in dealing with things regular people need to deal with too. He was also someone who didn't have a vested interest in my failure or success like those close to me would have been. He brought an external viewpoint about me and that was incredibly valuable.

[Kimberley]

Eloquently stated Natasha.

I am a very vocal proponent of therapy both pre and post op for exactly the reasons you have stated. The changes are far more complex than many of us are willing to admit and some guidance makes it that much better.

Thanks
:hugs:
Kimberley

[Kristen Kelly]

Ladies thanks for your comments. I didn't need someone to make the decision for me or say it was ok, in fact could have easily given her the answers she was looking for easily

"Life moves pretty fast; if you don't stop to look around once in awhile, you might miss it."

That hit home it was healthy to stop and take a breath and look at the big picture, myself my feelings haven’t changes but when you factor in the family and GF that puts a different light on it. Won’t change my thought’s or how far I will go but does keep me thinking.

[Joy Carter]

Hence those quotes, dear.

Listen to Bush?

I'd rather polish my nails with a hammer.

What do politics has to do with counseling ?

[GypsyKaren]

Let's cut the political talk, it has no place here.

Karen

[Kimberley]

We are forgetting the HBSOC are pretty much the rules when it comes to any form of transition. I would suggest sitting down and reading them from end to end and then realize that they are a GUIDELINE; one that is open to interpretation and the flexibility the medical professionals. That IS STATED in the first couple of paragraphs.

The standards are established by the medical community and no one else. The medical community are the ones to apply them (or not) on a case by case basis.

There is ZERO political influence on this process. Until they legislate transgender as being against the law it will remain so. (I am sure more than a few lawmakers and others would like to try though)

If the perception is that you are being held back there are either one of two reasons: You are not ready in the eyes of the doctors or the doctors are somewhat ignorant about the application of the SOC. It is up to us to ask the questions. If you dont like the answers move on and find another physician who does understand.

I dont understand why so many of us have failed to read and understand the HBSOC but we complain about it at every opportunity. We are not stupid people and afterall it is our lives. Shouldnt we be fully aware of all the complications and ramifications? It seems people spend more time reading about and questioning hormones than they do about the process of transition from the medical side of things.

End of Rant.

Kimberley

[Calliope]

Then go to some that have.



I think it's VERY COOL you have found postop doctors!

Me, I live where I live; I'm no jet-setter.

$60 has to last me 'til March 1st.

[joanlynn28]

For me I will tell you why counseling and HRT are necessary together. The first month on HRT was rough on me for a brief period I could not sleep and was on the verge of thinking about ending it all. But after that month things returned to normal. Now three months later my dosage was doubled, pharmacy did not give me the proper dosage and work and home sale are getting to me. Had some trouble with the buyers trying to get a lower price after everything is signed and agreed upon beforehand, and this week has been bad at work with work itself things that going right and problems with certain individuals and my gender issue. At least I got back into therapy again yesterday, I am at the point where I feel like I just might say the wrong thing to the wrong person and get myself into a bad situation. When I told my therapist everything that is going on lately she says it is no wonder you are in a bad state, suggest that drugs may be in order to reduce my irritability and emotions. But then that is why we are on HRT under a doctor's care. Things will get better especially when I go full time my coworkers already know what they suspect about me trying to keep hiding what they already know is preatty pointless now.

[melissaK]

We are forgetting the HBSOC are pretty much the rules when it comes to any form of transition. . . . The standards are established by the medical community and no one else. The medical community are the ones to apply them (or not) on a case by case basis. . . .
There is ZERO political influence on this process.

Loved your rant. The advice of knowing the HBSOC standards is sound. And if they don't make sense on first read through (and they didn't to me), go back to them and reread them a few times. Take them to a counsellor or doctor and discuss them. Post your Q on the forum.

I quibble with the idea that the medical community and the HBSOC standards aren't influenced by politics. If you meant theres no direct legislation by Congress, I am with you. And you are right there's plenty of folks trying to legislate their ideas on TS.

But I think there are still plenty of politics involved in the medical community about who gets to sit on the HBSOC board, DSM board, the board of your local hospital, or even your HMO. The politics of these individuals, some of whom are fundamentalist Christians who don't believe homosexuality or transualism exists, sit in positions that make the day to day decisions that control gateways to care and monetary assistance. These behind the scenes people at a hospital or insurance company can be invisible, but still stonewall your goals, even if you have a sympathetic doctor on the front line.

So like you say, you need to be smart enough to know when the obstacle is really you not being ready, or whether its them, and you need to flow like water around that obstacle and find another path.

I'm still looking for that level of self awareness . . . apparently me trying to flow around the obstacles by travelling that Eygyptian river was a mistake . . . :heehee:

[ChristineRenee]

Myself, I resent the intervention of professionals who haven't walked a mile in my shoes. Some "free market" those Republicans have delivered.Having been "stonewalled" by these so called professionals myself throughout the course of my life, I agree wholeheartedly Calliope. They haven't walked a mile in my shoes...NOR do they have a clue as to how I am inside.

Caveat emptor (buyer beware!) ladies with ANY of these "professional" types. Most of them don't give a tinker's damn about us...never have, and never will. But they will gladly take our money anytime they can. :mad:

[joanlynn28]

Let's not forget that most if not all of these barriers that have been created to protect us from ourselves are more to prevent the health professionals who treat us from being sued for malpractice than to keep us from multilating ourselves. Sorry I really don't want to use that word multilate it is too strong of a word but I think that you will know what I am trying to put across.

[ChristineRenee]

Let's not forget that most if not all of these barriers that have been created to protect us from ourselves are more to prevent the health professionals who treat us from being sued for malpractice than to keep us from multilating ourselves. Sorry I really don't want to use that word multilate it is too strong of a word but I think that you will know what I am trying to put across.Exactly what my point was. Many of them don't know anything about it...and don't really want to know either. If they lose you as a patient because they won't prescribe HRT for you, even if you have been previously diagnosed as having gender dysphoria, and then you drop them because of it...well...fine with them. The majority of them don't care about our welfare, our well-being, or our community in general...whatsoever. :(

[Kimberley]

I'm not sure I agree with your negative assessments of the medical communities.

There are a lot of trans people in these communities that have specifically devoted themselves to helping us. There are specific clinics devoted to helping us. To say that that these people dont care is minimizing both us and them.

The US health care system may be a victim of letigious behaviour but that is not the case in many other parts of the world where public health care is either available as an option or the rule.

Please dont lump the actions of a few into a generalized statement that characterizes and diminishes entire professions. It is unfair and misleading to others who do have access to public health care for transition in that it could dissuade them from proceeding.

The US system of health care is more like profit care, so yes you may be right in your assessments and experiences with a few doctors in it but certainly not all and as I said, the US system is not necessarily reflective of the rest of the world.

End of Rant.

[ChristineRenee]

I'm not sure I agree with your negative assessments of the medical communities.

There are a lot of trans people in these communities that have specifically devoted themselves to helping us. There are specific clinics devoted to helping us. To say that that these people dont care is minimizing both us and them.

The US health care system may be a victim of letigious behaviour but that is not the case in many other parts of the world where public health care is either available as an option or the rule.

Please dont lump the actions of a few into a generalized statement that characterizes and diminishes entire professions. It is unfair and misleading to others who do have access to public health care for transition in that it could dissuade them from proceeding.

The US system of health care is more like profit care, so yes you may be right in your assessments and experiences with a few doctors in it but certainly not all and as I said, the US system is not necessarily reflective of the rest of the world.

End of Rant.I only speak from my own personal experience. I have not had a lot of medical support since I have realized that I am transgendered and need HRT for hormonal balance. The basic theory for them seems to be...unless you are a transsexual and plan to fully transition in the future, you don't need to be on HRT...PERIOD. Sorry...but I don't either agree, nor do I fit into, that blanket, "one size fits all" theory of transgender health care.

My :2c: on that once again.

[Stephenie S]

Joanlynn is quite correct. The SOC are there for the protection of the medical community, not for the protection of the TG community. My endo and my GP both explained this to me in slightly different versions. My endo needs me to be under the care of a qulified gender therapist not because I need therapy at this point, but because he needs the protection of a referal to maintain his insurance coverage. If his insurance company thought that he was prescibing HRT without a valid referal from a gender therapist, they would cancel his insurance. Plane and simple, it's for THEIR protection, not ours.

This may sound harsh to some, but it is quite common, even required throughout the medical community. As a medical profesional I have many protocols at my work that specify when and how I can react to different medical situations. While these benifit the patient, they are put in place to protect the medical professional who can then state that he/she was following standard medical practice if there might be a problem down the road.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Kimberley]

Thank you. You both made my point.

:hugs:
Kimberley

[AmberTG]

When I go to my therapist, we don't often talk much about my TG issues, we talk about life issues that cause me depression. Being TG used to be a major source of that depression but I seem to have mostly come to terms with it, now there are other issues to discuss, although we do discuss the TG issue briefly at every session, just to see where I'm at with it. I have assumed the responsibility for my own HRT and have discussed this with my therapist, the V.A. healthcare system can be just as difficult to get there prescriptions from as any other healthcare system. If I didn't have the use of the V.A. healthcare system, I'd really be screwed for health care of any kind.