Being Feminine

[Deanna2]

There have been many threads of one form or another that have explored issues of being feminine and I have been intrigued at some of the sentiments expressed.

Is being feminine behaving like a woman? Does it mean being all pretty and dainty? Are all the women we know pretty and dainty? Can a woman be feminine and look daggy at the same time? The questions could go on ad nauseam.

One very common line is that wearing a skirt or dress allows one to be 'more feminine'. I don't understand what that means. Do you need to be wearing a skirt to remind you that you are trying to be feminine? I would say the answer is NO. Putting on a skirt does not make you feminine any more than putting on a football jumper makes you a footballer.

Being feminine, or masculine for that matter, is a frame of mind regardless of what you are wearing, if anything at all.

[MJ]

hi Deanna
you got it in your post
quote :- Being feminine, or masculine for that matter, is a frame of mind regardless of what you are wearing, if anything at all.
for me it's the whole picture, when i am dressed head to toe then i feel better about myself , and it does not matter what i am wearing pants , skirt , dress . it's a state of mind .
hugs marissa

[Angie G]

I think your right Deanna I can be feminine with out being dressed it's a state you put yourself in :hugs:
Angie

[Marla S]

Except for a few things that are genetically determind (having influence on the identity though) and the standards our society has concerning the dresscode, everything else is available for both physical genders.
That some things are considered feminine or masculine is more due to the fact that those traits, skills, and privileges are more often found for the one or other physical gender. The reasons being a mix of physical, genetical and cultural effects.

A skirt isn't feminine. It was defined feminine. But because it is fairly exclusive to woman in our cultur, it is even a very strong feminine signal.
Wearing a skirt doesn't make you a woman, but covers and detracts from masculinity. You don't expect to see a man, if you see someone wearing a skirt. So you will always look for the woman and you will always see some kind of woman first, as long as there are no other evidences that it is not a woman (hands, voice etc.). That's why it is harder to become passable wearing pants, and easier to feel feminine wearing a skirt.

Similar for pentyhose, stockings, bras, high heels, color pink, etc. the whole stuff CDs usually prefer to wear.

If you are feminine without clothes, you are feminine. Clothes only support it.

[Lori SC]

.....One very common line is that wearing a skirt or dress allows one to be 'more feminine'. I don't understand what that means. Do you need to be wearing a skirt to remind you that you are trying to be feminine? I would say the answer is NO. Putting on a skirt does not make you feminine any more than putting on a football jumper makes you a footballer.

Being feminine, or masculine for that matter, is a frame of mind regardless of what you are wearing, if anything at all.

Please consider how you feel is one thing. How people relate to you is another. Strangers will react to you based on visual clues - your looks. So as previously said, a skirt sends more feminine clues than pants. The same with long hair, breasts, polished fingernails, etc. How people relate to you makes you feel a certain way. People correlate female attire with feminine personality.

I think a lot of it is mental image. How you feel is influenced by how you look. I personaly think it's easier to "feel more feminine" dressed like a woman. I can see myself in a mirror, and know I look more feminine. If I am in jeans and a tee shirt - I look like a guy. I know I look like a guy, and don't "feel very feminine" at all.

No ones core being changes with what they have on. But some aspects of their personality may be more visible and others more sudued depending on how the feel at the time. So CDs who say they "feel more feminine" at a certain time may let more feminine behavior show.

You're right, you can feel feminine no matter what you have on. I just think most of us try to match the visual image with the mental state.

Hugs, Lori

[Jamie E]

:hugs: :love: :heehee:

[ArleneRaquel]

Being feminine is a state of mind and it doesn't make any difference if I am enfemme or drab, I find myself thinking about being a woman. Enfemme I am so much more alive and free. It is a feeling that I can't put into words and do the sense of serenity justice. While it is true that I am " more sexual " while enfemme but it is so much more than that. As " Trina " I am at peace. :love: & :hugs: Trina - Irishwoman Just Being Herslf

[Kate Simmons]

Depends on what you are trying to accomplish mostly. Like most everyone has said, being feminine (or masculine) is a state of mind mostly. The problem is, I don't think being one way or the other is a "thing" as much as it is the person. What happens as a result of any feed forward or feedback activity is mostly dependent on the person doing it. I never attempt to act in any certain way. What is perceived by my actions is different for different people. The image I project is that of a fairly attractive woman but one who has kind of an "attitude" and who is definately no bump on a log. I kind of demystify the CDing in the process and people more or less say:" Wow, he/she is just a regular person" . I never try to be something I am not and that seems to go a long way with folks. This may not work for everyone but it seems to work well for me. I'm just myself most of the time and however people want to interpret that (as masculine or feminine) is just fine with me.:happy:

[Lanore]

If cloths made me feel female, then I'd be hanging in the closet or tucked in a drawer with them. Just look around at all of the women out there and you'll see all shapes and sizes. You'll see dresses, blue jeans and tee shirts and jogging suits. I wake up feeling very female and it doesn't matter what I wear, I'm still the same inside. Cloths just accent who I am.

Lanore

[susie evans]

it's the state of mind looks actions in other words the hole package :hugs:

susie

[AZGia]

I feel feminine most of the time because that is me. I like to look and feel pretty in drab or dressed. When I am pretty I am feminine. So as you said it is a state of mind. I try to feel and be pretty which makes me feel feminine and act feminine which makes me comfortable.

[joaniecd]

I agree with AZGia you are as feminine as you feel. we dress to look and feel more feminine, but it is a state of mind. I was told I was feminine since I was a child. I didnt know what people meant then ,but later in childhood when I desired to dress I realized that i should have been a woman. now i feel great and dress all the time,AND FEEL FEMININE.

[Sierra Evon]

I think your right Deanna I can be feminine with out being dressed it's a state you put yourself in :hugs:
Angie

Ditto " " " " " :happy:

[Lou Lou]

If you're dressed to the nines but walking and standing like a man, you're simply NOT feminine

[suzy]

You ARE only as feminine as you feel!!! That's it in a nutshell! The clothes help me feel feminine!:love:

[SatinSarah]

of course you can feel femenine inside without any outer clothing. But like most of you I become the feminine woman I desire to become as I dress. In drab I can act feminine but just look camp! I want to feel feminine/ like a woman and that means wearing a bra and high heels. I guess from the other avatars here it helps to dress as a woman to nejoy those feminine feelings which we know are part of us!

[Eugenie]

I think that both are important, feeling "femme" inside and looking "femme" outside.

Human beings are symbolic animals, no other animal uses symbols spontaneously. Other animals may be trained to understand symbols but don't create them.

As was said above in the discussion, culturally, in most cultures of the world, there are clothes and body adornments and treatment (makeup, hair style) that are attributed to women while other are attributed to men. Even pants follow that dress code. Independently of the body shape which dictates the shape of pants, women pants tend to be made in softer material, have different styles than male pants. Wearing clothes that are mainly worn by women helps one feeling more like a woman. This is for the visible clothes.

The symbolic content also plays for invisible clothes, such as underwear. Since soft and lacy underwear are culturaly associated to womenhood, since Brassieres are definitively considered a women apparel, since nylon stockings or panty hoses are mainly women's priviledge, wearing all or some of these invisible clothes makes one feel more part of the woman cultural identity.

That plays a definite role in the overall feeling of "being a woman". All the above clothes and underwear cary a symbolic content that has a far deeper impact on our feelings than we would dare to admit. There is a tribe in south America where transvestism is institutionalized at certain periods of the year. They live almost naked, yet during these periods the men in the tribe wear artefacts that are normaly reserved to women and while doing so, the also behave like women. This is the impact of symbolic signals.

Of course, by all means, using the clothes and apparel usually attributed to the other gender (in this case women) isn't enough, if there isn't that inside drive to be a woman, wearing women clothes and underwear won't make one feel like a woman. Many male have been x-dressing just for a mascarade party without feeling like a woman the slightest bit.

Conversely, for some of us (I'm one of them) it is enough to feel the "woman inside" to get in the spirit, without having to dress "en femme". For people like us though, the feeling of drab clothes is often rather unconfortable... The urge to conform to the dress code that we feel appropriate is often making us very unhappy and tense when we can't do it. Here we are, dressed in drab and still feeling so much "femme".

It is also at the roots of some misunderstandings between transgender MtF and the various femininst lobbies. We keep using some feminine clothes and apparel as identity symbols while they are rejectoing such symbols as signs of women opression by a male dominated society...

Well, this is a never ending discussion topic... There will be many more posts and even many more threads addressing this subject and we won't have an answer. But do we want answers? Isn't it fun discussing endlessly our favourite subjects :heehee:
:hugs:
Eugenie

[marie354]

I agree with a lot of what has been said here. Clothing is just a way to express how you feel or want to look at that time. You might change into something 4-6-8 hours later because your mood has changed or you're going someplace special and want to present yourself differently whether you dress as a man or a woman doesn't necessarily reflect what you feel inside.
Just one woman's opinion.
:hugs:

[Jesse69]

I disagree. I only feel feminine when all dolled up in a wig, breastforms, and women's clothes. More femine in a skirt, dress, or skirt suit.

[linnea]

There's no doubt in my mind that it is not the clothes, make-up, jewelry, etc. that make a person feminine. However, wearing the clothes appropriate to a mood, event, or character commonly helps the wearer and any observer who might be encountered. One critical truism about Shakespeare's plays is that they stand very well on the words; they can be performed in a number of settings that are not necessarily theater sets. The Globe Theater in London, in fact, was not much like our typical theaters today with their sets, curtains, etc.
But present those words in an historically appropriate set and use historically appropriate costumes and you usually have an enriched presentation.
If one is feminine of mind and attitude, wearing the cultural-typical clothes associated with that frame of mind and heart can enhance the experience for everyone--the wearer and anyone that person encounters.
No, I don't believe that one HAS to wear a dress to feel like a woman or be feminine, but I do enjoy and benefit from wearing typical feminine apparel because of the way it enhances, enriches, and enlivens the experiences and sensations.


If you are feminine without clothes, you are feminine. Clothes only support it.[/QUOTE]

[Deanna2]

Thanks for all yur comments girls. They have made for some interesting reading.

[Andrea_girl]

The feminine feelings I get can only be described as being like butterfly's in your stomach.

Its a lovely feeling.

I normally get the feeling when I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror or see my reflection in something.

[PaulaJaneThomas]

One very common line is that wearing a skirt or dress allows one to be 'more feminine'. I don't understand what that means. Do you need to be wearing a skirt to remind you that you are trying to be feminine? I would say the answer is NO. Putting on a skirt does not make you feminine any more than putting on a football jumper makes you a footballer.

Hi Deena,

I think you've posed an interesting question and also made an interesting point. I think we all differ in terms of what we need to wear to feel feminine. I know trans people who say they need to wear a skirt and stockings to feel right. At the other extreme, I crossdress 95% of the time in jeans. I think we're all different so I'd say wear whatever you need to wear to take you where you need to be.

[sarainpa]

I remember an old saying something like "she could make a potato sack look good". Feminine is a state of mind in my mind.:D

[PaulaJaneThomas]

I remember an old saying something like "she could make a potato sack look good". Feminine is a state of mind in my mind.:D

They were probably talking about me because compared to me a sack of potatoes does look good ;)

[Tiffy]

They were probably talking about me because compared to me a sack of potatoes does look good ;)



Hun I think they meant if she was wearing the potato sack.:happy:

Tiffy

[lisajane]

i feel most fem when my nails and heels are on and I am about to step out the front door for some girl fun :happy: Lisa

[Mona]

I agree that feeling feminine is an atitude or state of mind, even a roll we chose to play (live) but for me dressing really helps me achieve these feelings. As an aside the most feminine woman I've known is also the most intelligent and strong.

[JoAnnDallas]

I feel the most feminine when I am all dressed up and I feel my stockings rub against each other and I feel the helm of my dress or skirt touching the top of my knee. Then too the feel of freshly applied makeup, wig, and perfume. Also the sight of freshly painted long nails and the click of my heels as I walk. heavenly......