Sometimes it's amazing how accepting people are...

[JeanneF]

So, first of all, I go to an absolutely awesome nail tech. She knows all about my dressing, and has seen me in girl mode a couple of times. Generally, I get my nails done in boy mode because of time constraints (usually I go in the evening late in the week), but occasionally I've gone on Saturday, so I'll go en femme. When I go in boy mode, I usually just have her do a clear, but if it's before the weekend and I'm not going to be doing anything between then and the next time I'm going out, I'll have her do color.

Anyway, I decided my nails just looked like hell today...it had been two weeks, and they were a bit long and ragged. So I stopped in this evening in boy mode. They were really busy, which isn't a problem, but there was a pretty long wait. So finally she gets to me. I decided to go with a dark purple-red (OPI Bogota Blackberry, FWIW), and as her to keep the length long, and really girl them up. They came out awesome, but when she was finished, there were three GGs at the four-unit nail dryer station.

I'm generally not nervous, but all these girls were about my age, and pretty attractive. So I sit down and stick my hands under the dryer, just smiling a little, but not saying anything. The girl next to me looked over and said "you've got great natural nails. Mine suck so I do acrylics, and I love that color". Nothing sarcastic or anything. I complimented her on the her color too, and we just started chatting. Next thing I know, all four of us are talking nails, hair, clothes, etc. totally accepting of the fact that this boy sitting with them is fully knowledgable about almond vs. round toe heels. It was just a really cool experience. At one point, I made a joke about how this length was about how long I dared to wear them, and one of the girls responded "that's ridiculous, people should just let you be who you are." Totally cool.

I guess I'm still surprised with how "in stride" so many people seem to take this thing. I mean, I'm not totally shocked...I met my girlfriend when she waited on me when I was shopping for shoes, but it's still a refreshing experience.

[goofus]

...I met my girlfriend when she waited on me when I was shopping for shoes, but it's still a refreshing experience.[/QUOTE]

Oooooo...tell us more about that!

[susie evans]

it's good to have suport

susie

[JeanneF]

Oooooo...tell us more about that!

Lol...it's that same old story. Boy wants a new pair of pointy-toe heels, Boy goes to the mall, meets Girl at the shoe store. Boy and Girl talk about shoes, make small talk, Girl mentions she's new to Cincinnati and wants to know what are fun places to go out to. (Girl is assuming Boy like Boys). Boy tells Girl about cool clubs, buys shoes, and leaves. Boy doesn't really think much of it except "that was a really cool salesgirl".

Boy wants cute new platforms, goes back to the mall. Meets Girl again, Girl thanks Boy for telling her about the club scene. Boy invites Girl to go dancing sometime, Girl give cell phone number. Girl still thinks Boy like Boys, and thinks maybe Boy can be her "gay friend" in Cincinnati.

Boy invites Girl to go dancing. Boy dresses as Girl, Girl and Girl go dancing. Don't do much dancing, instead, spend hours talking, Girl says "you are so cool, too bad you're gay". Boy replies "Uh, who said I'm gay?".

Boy and Girl will have been seeing each other for two months as of February 9th. So far so good, and she even shares her employee discount at work. :)

Seriously, I never thought I would meet someone like this in Cincinnati. Pretty, thin, smart, and totally openminded. She likes me more in boy mode, of course, but is totally into the girl side as well. She's not into "manly men", she's always dated the artist/musician types, so I'm a good match for her...the girlyness of an artist, but with a much better paying job.

The only down side is that I'm not exactly looking forward to telling people the story about our "first date" or how we met. We may have to tell the story of the second date instead (dinner at a nice restaurant), and just say we met at the mall. :)

[GinaVegas]

Great story of how you two met Lisa!

[Barb Valentine]

Wow that just fantastic Lisa
Thanks for sharing
(lucky girl)

[Trisha]

well you can get away with it you look good as a girl and you are a nice person easy to talk too glad i got to meet you last year

[Sally2005]

I fear the unknown, but I digress.

The girl talk is an interesting thing. I meet with one woman for a few minutes almost every day. She is near my age and she has only ever seen me dressed up (in a comical style) on halloween. When I usually see her the chit chat is minimal and if there are other women there the conversation is directed away from me or if I make a comment it is often interpretted in a diffent way than I was thinking. Typical girl guy in different worlds. Anyhow, on halloween, I got the girl talk from her and I was the one that didn't know what to respond because it wasn't so much 'as a guy in a dress you look good or uncomfortable' it was a one to one exchange on her own experiences. She saw my long nails and I jokingly said they are hard to pick up keys with and she just a matter of factly said, you'll get used to them.

Another time I remember a difference was on other halloween when out on the town with my wife in the 90s I was wearing one of her summer dresses and bar tender girl told me I looked good and she had a dress just like it in the 80's. My wife was major pissed off since she often wore the dress. I never saw that side of my wife before and I realize the comment was a subtle jab only the well versed in women culture might pick up on.

I'm trying to get out more these days in regular daylight but I don't interact with others much yet so the limited past experence is all I can provide. There is a change in the way woman interact with you, its like an all or nothing switch is turned on and you get pulled in to their world. It can be fun.

[Joy Carter]

I have only interacted with a few GGs while dressed. The first one told me my wig was perfect for me. And she wanted to know where I bought my boobs (birdseed and nylons). In fact my boobs hung so low I looked like a granny. She was nice though. A member here (married). Just haven't seen her since October.

[gianna25]

See....why does everyone assume we are gay or like men just cause we crossdress...I hate that...anyway...great story Lisa....you keep workin it girl
\

[noname]

I have to say, it's true. I think many people accept us. We've probably all had some negative experiences and they do seem to stick out. Though I will say some people do accept us, most will not want to hang out with us.

[katey]

lisa that is such an awesome story, both at the nail salon and your girlfriend.

[Holly]

Lisa, thanks for pointing this out in such a positive fashion. I go to the nail salon every other week and very often while sitting in the spa chair or drying my nails under the dryer, other customers will come and look to see what I have had done to my nails this time! Those little peeks into the "girls world" are precious and I love them as well.

[uknowhoo]

Hiya Lisa, and thanx so much for posting. It's so reassuring, and encouraging to read of experiences such as yours. Oh, and continued good luck w/ your girlfriend, btw. xoxo

Tammi

[Nigella]

Most people are accepting, just the odd few who are verbal about seeing a bloke in a frock,

Simple solution, ignore them, they more than likely will have no impact on your life, and besides its not illegal.

Enjoy the experiences, I certainly do.

[goofus]

Lol...it's that same old story. Boy wants a new pair of pointy-toe heels, Boy goes to the mall, meets Girl at the shoe store. Boy and Girl talk about shoes, make small talk, Girl mentions she's new to Cincinnati and wants to know what are fun places to go out to. (Girl is assuming Boy like Boys). Boy tells Girl about cool clubs, buys shoes, and leaves. Boy doesn't really think much of it except "that was a really cool salesgirl".

Boy wants cute new platforms, goes back to the mall. Meets Girl again, Girl thanks Boy for telling her about the club scene. Boy invites Girl to go dancing sometime, Girl give cell phone number. Girl still thinks Boy like Boys, and thinks maybe Boy can be her "gay friend" in Cincinnati.

Boy invites Girl to go dancing. Boy dresses as Girl, Girl and Girl go dancing. Don't do much dancing, instead, spend hours talking, Girl says "you are so cool, too bad you're gay". Boy replies "Uh, who said I'm gay?".

Boy and Girl will have been seeing each other for two months as of February 9th. So far so good, and she even shares her employee discount at work. :)

Seriously, I never thought I would meet someone like this in Cincinnati. Pretty, thin, smart, and totally openminded. She likes me more in boy mode, of course, but is totally into the girl side as well. She's not into "manly men", she's always dated the artist/musician types, so I'm a good match for her...the girlyness of an artist, but with a much better paying job.

The only down side is that I'm not exactly looking forward to telling people the story about our "first date" or how we met. We may have to tell the story of the second date instead (dinner at a nice restaurant), and just say we met at the mall. :)

Great story! It's kind of too bad that she just assumed you were gay, but I guess such is life when drag queens are more visible?

[Rachel Morley]

She's not into "manly men", she's always dated the artist/musician types, so I'm a good match for her...the girlyness of an artist, but with a much better paying job.

The only down side is that I'm not exactly looking forward to telling people the story about our "first date" or how we met. We may have to tell the story of the second date instead (dinner at a nice restaurant), and just say we met at the mall. :)
Hi Lisa,

Wow, what a great story! Your GF sounds similar to my wife with regard to not liking manly men and liking alternative type guys. I met my wife on a crossdressing forum, we're both vegetarians and so when people ask us how we met we don't exactly lie but be don't exactly tell the truth either. We tell them that we met on the internet on a forum, but we say it was a vegetarian message board not a crossdressing one :D

Those GGs in the nail salon sound awesome. I'm still trying to get my butt in the nail salon in girl or boy mode but just can't seem to get up the courage yet. Maybe the positive encounter you had will tip me over the edge and I'll go next weekend :happy: Anyway, thanks for such a great account of what happened to you I really enjoyed reading about it . :hugs:

[Missy Anne]

LisaK,

That sounds like a really nice experience!

Angel ---- Go for it! We await the story.

Missy Anne

[Angie G]

That a great experience I'm glad you had it if only everybody was like that it would be a better world :hugs:
Angie

[Kimberly]

Woo! You see... nice people exist.

In nail salons, apparently. xx

[Kelsy]

Those GGs in the nail salon sound awesome. I'm still trying to get my butt in the nail salon in girl or boy mode but just can't seem to get up the courage yet. Maybe the positive encounter you had will tip me over the edge and I'll go next weekend :happy: Anyway, thanks for such a great account of what happened to you I really enjoyed reading about it . :hugs:

Angel , The last time I was in Texas visiting my SO she treated me to a pedi!! I was nervous going in but once there it was totally awesome!! What an experience having your toenails done and chatting with the ggs! Of course I was still in boy mode and we joked about the color I wanted, but settled on clear:sad: should have gone with the pink and next time I will!!:D

Jennifer:happy:

[Country girl]

Angel , The last time I was in Texas visiting my SO she treated me to a pedi!! I was nervous going in but once there it was totally awesome!! What an experience having your toenails done and chatting with the ggs! Of course I was still in boy mode and we joked about the color I wanted, but settled on clear:sad: should have gone with the pink and next time I will!!:D

Jennifer:happy:

Ya know Baby, I think the perfect time to accomplish this would be Vegas! Don't you agree? :love: CG gg

[tall_brianna]

OMG, this is a great story. What an inspiration. I can't wait until I feel as comfortable in my skin as you do in yours. I have had my first manicure and pedicure recently and I loved it. The two Asian girls working on me were very nice and didn't see to flinch when I said I wanted clear but I was so nervous that someone would sit down next to me and comment on the clear coat I was getting (yeah, also with a little extra length and explicit instructions to not square off the tops). The techs never asked and I never told but they treated me like one of the girls... and I'm not even close to being in a red state! Wow.


Next thing I know, all four of us are talking nails, hair, clothes, etc. totally accepting of the fact that this boy sitting with them is fully knowledgeable about almond vs. round toe heels.

Okay, I've obviously got some work to do. lol. what is the difference? :)

-b

[kerrianna]

My experience is that generally women are nicer and more compassionate and empathetic than men. I think they GET this whole way of living better than males, so we're lucky being able to cross over.

A lot of us are interested in our looks (ie passing) so we run into GGs that are interested in the same things. Most girls I've known are very accepting and natural - I wish we would let males be that too.

There will always be exceptions of course, and I think most of those people have been closed down and boxed in by external stuff.

In general I think Girls Rule!

...and I want to be one...:cute:

[CaptLex]

My experience is that generally women are nicer and more compassionate and empathetic than men. I think they GET this whole way of living better than males, so we're lucky being able to cross over.
In my experience (as an FtM), the opposite is true. I've found much more acceptance among males than females. I think it might be because people are flattered that we want to be like them, and are more likely to be accepting and helpful than if they think we reject being like them. Just my :2c: .

[Holly]

Ya know Baby, I think the perfect time to accomplish this would be Vegas! Don't you agree? :love: CG ggI know a place (http://www.aharmonynailspa.com/)... :D

[loki_uk]

See....why does everyone assume we are gay or like men just cause we crossdress...I hate that...anyway...great story Lisa....you keep workin it girl
\

I've probably let the side down then, I met my wife to be in a gay bar...ok it was the only place I knew to dress up in those days but still....

[JeanneF]

See....why does everyone assume we are gay or like men just cause we crossdress...I hate that...anyway...great story Lisa....you keep workin it girl

Honestly, the assumption that I'm gay never bothers me. I was a theater geek in High School, I dress very trendy as a guy, have highlights in my hair, and I'm not shy about my love of fashion and style...it's not an unreasonable assumption for a person to make about me. As one close GG friend once said "you're the gayest straight guy I know"...and she had no clue about my dressing at the time.

Considering that we are the "T" in LGBT, I personally think we as a community need to get over the "I'm swear I'm not gay!!!" that so many people seem to have. I understand the whole "most crossdressers are heterosexual", but the reality is that while we may be heterosexual, we are definitely not "straight". I just think that the way that many of us freak out at the thought that someone thinking that we're gay only helps to polarize us from the rest of the LGBT community and hurt our ability to take advantage of the level of acceptance the rest of the community has acheived.


In my experience (as an FtM), the opposite is true. I've found much more acceptance among males than females. I think it might be because people are flattered that we want to be like them, and are more likely to be accepting and helpful than if they think we reject being like them. Just my :2c: .

I think you're right. I have a couple of lesbian friends, and when they've come out, the guys that they're friends with have been much more accepting than the females. And no, this isn't because of the "male lesbian fantasy"...these girls are far from fantasy material. ;)

I think that both sexes find those that reject the norms of their sex somewhat threatening, while those of the opposite sex think "well, I like being a guy, I can she why she could want to be a guy" and vice versa.

[Country girl]

I know a place (http://www.aharmonynailspa.com/)... :D

Holly, you tease, you know we can't wait!!! Vegas here we come!:hugs: :love: CG gg

[gianna25]

Honestly, the assumption that I'm gay never bothers me. I was a theater geek in High School, I dress very trendy as a guy, have highlights in my hair, and I'm not shy about my love of fashion and style...it's not an unreasonable assumption for a person to make about me. As one close GG friend once said "you're the gayest straight guy I know"...and she had no clue about my dressing at the time.

Considering that we are the "T" in LGBT, I personally think we as a community need to get over the "I'm swear I'm not gay!!!" that so many people seem to have. I understand the whole "most crossdressers are heterosexual", but the reality is that while we may be heterosexual, we are definitely not "straight". I just think that the way that many of us freak out at the thought that someone thinking that we're gay only helps to polarize us from the rest of the LGBT community and hurt our ability to take advantage of the level of acceptance the rest of the community has acheived.



I think you're right. I have a couple of lesbian friends, and when they've come out, the guys that they're friends with have been much more accepting than the females. And no, this isn't because of the "male lesbian fantasy"...these girls are far from fantasy material. ;)

I think that both sexes find those that reject the norms of their sex somewhat threatening, while those of the opposite sex think "well, I like being a guy, I can she why she could want to be a guy" and vice versa.



Lisa interesting conversation going on.....the thing is this....from my fairly little experiences which have really only been in the past year mainly the last few months, I have spent the most time in my life around a gay crowd because i came out to a TS friend and then she ran with it.....But all the gay guys i am meeting her friends and their friends etc seem very shocked that i like to dress up and then i dont want to be with a guy....that i still like girls.....then i found this article about why straight men crossdress http://www.goofyfootpress.com/kinkycorner/crossdressing.php
its kind of funny becasue it talks about us being the most ostracized group.
Anyways for me i feel that being a crossdresser is different from being a T-girl....i know the T could mean transvestite too but i dont consider myself that either....just a crossdresser....i dont do it that often and it seems that when i do i will do it a bunch of times and then be tired of it for quite some time.....i havent had the desire to put on a stitch of clothing in the 2 weeks that i have been home and i dont think i will have the desire for quite a while....its like doing it 3 days in a row was overkill for me and i just dont feel like being bothered.....anyways thats just my :2c: which is probably worth only a penny..LOLOL

thanks for listening to my rant

G

[Wendrme]

I had a fittng today at a lingerie store, The salespeople and the customers around me were all GG. It was the most wondefull experience because NO ONE cared that I was a guy. They just cared that I got the proper fit.And the women customers commented on the items I was going to try on.And wanted to see how I looked weaing them.
Women can be and are so nice and friendly. No problem.

[Rachel Morley]

Honestly, the assumption that I'm gay never bothers me.
Me neither Lisa. :happy: If you ever saw some of the things I wear in boy mode and with my eye makeup, jewelry etc ... well lets just say that uneducated people will think I'm as gay as hell! I can't say I know what I'm talking about because I don't, but IMHO rarely are gay guys attracted to crossdressers. However I do understand why some people mistakenly think that women's clothes on a guy must mean he's gay. :rolleyes:

[JeanneF]

Lisa interesting conversation going on.....the thing is this....from my fairly little experiences which have really only been in the past year mainly the last few months, I have spent the most time in my life around a gay crowd because i came out to a TS friend and then she ran with it.....But all the gay guys i am meeting her friends and their friends etc seem very shocked that i like to dress up and then i dont want to be with a guy....that i still like girls.....then i found this article about why straight men crossdress http://www.goofyfootpress.com/kinkycorner/crossdressing.php
its kind of funny becasue it talks about us being the most ostracized group.

I totally agree with crossdressers being the most ostracized. A lot of the gay community doesn't understand us, for the exact reasons you point out, and the "straight" community doesn't understand CDing whatsoever.

I guess I need to mention that I don't identify as a crossdresser. I'm transgendered, and am currently in the process seeing a therapist exploring if I am transsexual (the signs are pointing to yes). So that may be a big difference in where my outlook is coming from. However, I am predominately heterosexual (or lesbian, depending on your perspective).


Anyways for me i feel that being a crossdresser is different from being a T-girl....i know the T could mean transvestite too but i dont consider myself that either....just a crossdresser....i dont do it that often and it seems that when i do i will do it a bunch of times and then be tired of it for quite some time.....i havent had the desire to put on a stitch of clothing in the 2 weeks that i have been home and i dont think i will have the desire for quite a while....its like doing it 3 days in a row was overkill for me and i just dont feel like being bothered.....anyways thats just my :2c: which is probably worth only a penny..LOLOL

thanks for listening to my rant

G

That's cool. There's nothing wrong with that. I go through down times on the dressing as well, but the female feelings are always there underneath...for me it's more a lack of desire to take the time to get "dolled up", the days that if I was a girl I'd put my hair in a ponytail and wear sweats. That's one of the big differences, IMO.

[Kristen Kelly]

I totally agree with crossdressers being the most ostracized. A lot of the gay community doesn't understand us, for the exact reasons you point out, and the "straight" community doesn't understand CDing whatsoever.

I guess I need to mention that I don't identify as a crossdresser. I'm transgendered, and am currently in the process seeing a therapist exploring if I am transsexual (the signs are pointing to yes). So that may be a big difference in where my outlook is coming from. However, I am predominately heterosexual (or lesbian, depending on your perspective).



That's cool. There's nothing wrong with that. I go through down times on the dressing as well, but the female feelings are always there underneath...for me it's more a lack of desire to take the time to get "dolled up", the days that if I was a girl I'd put my hair in a ponytail and wear sweats. That's one of the big differences, IMO.

Great article I agree totally with the article and you Liza. My GF still has that worriy that I will stray to the "gay side" because of spending so much time in gay bars, The standing joke after telling her I was going to do "drag" shows was "You are going to dance and sing in front of Gay men for money". One advantage now if I'm caught googling a pretty young girl I get a smile instead of the horns (If she only knew I was checking out what she was wearing more than just the girl)