Being a CD is so stressful

[DeniseNJ]

When I first found this site, it was a joy reading all the storys and seeing all the beautiful pictures {It still is}. Some of you girls look so stunning , it made me want to be so much like you. I came on here every day, getting careless about my computer security. Yes my wife knows I dress but as with many, she hates her man transforming into a woman.I was feeling more woman as the day went on. Oh yes she was noticing my behavior. I know I have been doing some form of dressing all my life , and like with most of you , I like me as a girl better than as a guy. I got so excited , just the thought of going out as Denise or meeting other cd's in my area, thought and fantacies ran wild. I didn't care what people thought, I wanted to open a new chapter in my life. I started buying heels, make-up, hoses, bra's, panties more often, even trying on heels at payless in hose and polished toes and getting help from the girls {Best part it wasn't Halloween}. Shaved my legs and kept shaving them. lotion, growing my nails longer, toes polished. I was feeling so good and more feminine as the days went on. What a balanceing act it is of my life and the life that I always desired. I came out more in the past 4 months than in the past 25 years. Sending and receiving PM's from some of you girls made me feel special and accepted. I was ready and Denise was ready to experience what it feels like to be a woman in public. It is fun posting pictures and my mind was over come by the thoughts of being a girl. Well I had to slow down because I thought I was ready to come out and so wanted that. I need slow down and regroup, I was getting a bit out of control. I need to meet with another and Dress and just talk and see what it feels like to be around girls like me. How I wish I can go on Vacation and be Denise for a week in another state with girls like me . I guess I chickened out, For all you girls living out your dreams I tip my hat, you girls are so brave. I dressed this past weekend and walked down the driveway in my heels, it felt too good. I just hope someday I can be as brave and most of you!!! :hugs:

[marie354]

I'm getting there as well.
So far... I walked around the block... At night.
I've met with another CD'r and chit-chatted about hair, nails, makeup, etc.
She and I think we are ready for the next step. Going out to a gay bar.
Not sure of when or how yet... My car is not working now so travel will be up to her to drive. Cab fair would be outragious, so that's out.

Anyway... I'm looking forward to it. I think my time has come... Finally.

I've been CDing for years and it's only since I've found this site that I've been feeling really good about myself and building confidence.

Your time might not be now. It's different for different people. Your time will come too, when your ready for it.
:hugs:

[Dani's Secret]

Hey GF, I am now were you have been! Right now all I want is to express myself without a care in the world, but deep down inside I know it will be tough for me to walk out my front door all dolled up, and this would be after my wife is told! that alone will be a hurdle for me to overcome because I know her well and dont think she will be very supportive of my happy self.
I know for myself that it all will happen in time, time that I have.
Well wishes and hugs babe, Dani

[Karren H]

I think that crossdressing is a hugh stress release, at least it is for me!!! Nothing like walking through a crowded department store enfemme to relieve all you anxioties!! hehe

Love Karren

[Glenda58]

Denise slow down and take baby steps. It can be over whelming coming to the forum and seeing all the ladies going out and wanting to be like them. But you have a wife you need to take care of her also. I have been dressing for over 50 years and now live alone. When I came here I found that I was not alone and found some friends to meet and the courage to go out shopping and many other things. I spend thousands on cloths and shoes. I have stop now to see what I want next. But I will be back because this is some much fun.

[NatalieGirl]

You have come a long ways, Denise. You're doing great.

Just remember that you have every right to be the girl you are inside.

And I am with the others, I find crossdressing to be a great stress-reliever.

Case in point:The shit has literally hit the fan at work recently, and I may lose my job. In earlier days, I would have been completed frazzled over it all. But now I am handling it in stride.

[Rita Knight]

Hi Denise and Everyone Else That is Interested,
After reading your post, my first question to you is how much do you value your wife? Gee it is great and fun to dress and go out like me. However, I live alone. How much is her support and companionship worth to you? I know a lot of married CDs whose wives are accepting in one degree or another. They would file for divorce the moment they knew you were having sex. For me, divorce was extremely painful.

Second, have you ever considered joining Tri-Ess? I know some of you are looking for wilder times and hate their str8's only rule. The dirty secret is some chapters don't mind so long as you don't go there for pickups. The northern New Jersey website can be found here: http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Heights/7396/ Southern New Jersey here: http://www.triessnj.org/snr/

[susie evans]

you are right in a lot of ways but life is a balancing act also and just takes time to figure what is going to work best for you in the long run just take it one step at a time :hugs:

susie

[deedee2]

I know my CDing is a release for me as way to express myself. I enjoy this minute time to do what I think is right and satisfying. You should as well. I still get excited about getting my nails done or going shopping at the mall for an outfit. Take your time and ease into what you like . You have the rest of your life to cross dress. :2c:
Hugs Dee Dee

[Angie G]

Denise you go girl :hugs:
Angie

[Sejd]

Hi Denise NJ
I just sent out pictures of me as Sejd to old friends, and was surprised that they responded so positive. the people I really care about had the best reactions, the friends who I know are not so close, had a much harder time. But I did it anyway, and it felt good. I know what you mean about taking it easy. I think that's a good approach. Take your time, build it up slowly, become friends with your own wonderful sexuality and then it won't feel so owerwhelming.
hugs :hugs: +? +? +? :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Sejd

[Joy Carter]

Case in point:The shit has literally hit the fan at work recently, and I may lose my job. In earlier days, I would have been completed frazzled over it all. But now I am handling it in stride.

Is it not great to know that your TG issues had affected you and you didn't realize it. Myself, I'm so much more calm now that I don't have this monkey on my back. By God I'm genuinely happy for the first time in my life.:D

[Suzie S.]

Hi Denise! I too understand how you feel. It's easy to get too wrapped up in the experiences of others. I know I am sometimes jealous of the freedom and bravery of others here on this forum. Although I admire them for their choices, what works for them may not work for you and me. Everyone needs to know their limits! You need to step back, slow down, and analyze how your actions may affect your life. Are you prepared for any fallout that could occur? How does your wife feel about these urges you have, or does she know? If you are in a committed relationship, keeping secrets is just plain wrong. Are you prepared to go this alone if others in your life do not want to share this with you? If it is possible, communicate your feelings to your wife and find a mutual boundary that is comfortable for all.

I know that I would love to take my crossdressing further, and I would love to go out enfemme. I also know that I would love to go 24/7 for a while to see what it is like. But, I know that these are not options for me. I have to accept certain boundaries in my life. I respect my wife's wishes, and heed the responsibilities of my life such as work, family, friends and financial obligations.

What makes this forum so great is the vast diversity of people that visit here. They are wonderful people who selflessly share their life experiences and emotions for all to see. We work through problems and accomplishments together. But, alas, we can not live our lives vicariously through them. We need to be ourselves. And, I can't say this enough, we have to be accountable for our actions and the impact they can have on the ones we love. If after much consideration you still need to take things to another level, then take the next step. Just be cautious where your foot lands. Just my :2c: .

I wish you all the best!

[darling_felicity]

I think that crossdressing is a hugh stress release, at least it is for me!!! Nothing like walking through a crowded department store enfemme to relieve all you anxioties!! hehe

Love Karren

Karen Darling, if we all looked like you there wouldn't be a whiff of stress on this site. Stay gorgeous girl.

Luv, Felicity

[Robin Leigh]

Hi Denise!

As Glenda says, baby steps. You've done the driveway walk. Next mission, the late-night walk around the block. :) But really, it's generally safer during daylight hours. And less suspicious: GGs don't often walk unaccompanied at night. But I will admit that I do go outside en femme much more at night than during the day.


I know a lot of married CDs whose wives are accepting in one degree or another. They would file for divorce the moment they knew you were having sex. For me, divorce was extremely painful.
Huh, Rita? I don't see how this is relevant to Denise's situation. She just wants to meet other CDers to chat, not to have sex with them!

:hugs:

Robin

[DeniseNJ]

I want to clear the air, the stressful part of being a Crossdresser for me is...I want so badly to dress more often , go out as Denise, meet other CD's I want to feel like a girl almost every day . As for the drive I did that 3 times as Denise and it was great, walk around the block , it is a contry area one trip around the block in heels and I will need therphy.. Well tonight I shaved my legs again, polished my toes and got dolled up Yes I feel at ease now and so love looking like a girl thanks for the support :hugs:

[stephanietv]

Hi Denise! I too understand how you feel. It's easy to get too wrapped up in the experiences of others. I know I am sometimes jealous of the freedom and bravery of others here on this forum. Although I admire them for their choices, what works for them may not work for you and me. Everyone needs to know their limits! You need to step back, slow down, and analyze how your actions may affect your life. Are you prepared for any fallout that could occur? How does your wife feel about these urges you have, or does she know? If you are in a committed relationship, keeping secrets is just plain wrong. Are you prepared to go this alone if others in your life do not want to share this with you? If it is possible, communicate your feelings to your wife and find a mutual boundary that is comfortable for all.

I know that I would love to take my crossdressing further, and I would love to go out enfemme. I also know that I would love to go 24/7 for a while to see what it is like. But, I know that these are not options for me. I have to accept certain boundaries in my life. I respect my wife's wishes, and heed the responsibilities of my life such as work, family, friends and financial obligations.

What makes this forum so great is the vast diversity of people that visit here. They are wonderful people who selflessly share their life experiences and emotions for all to see. We work through problems and accomplishments together. But, alas, we can not live our lives vicariously through them. We need to be ourselves. And, I can't say this enough, we have to be accountable for our actions and the impact they can have on the ones we love. If after much consideration you still need to take things to another level, then take the next step. Just be cautious where your foot lands. Just my :2c: .

I wish you all the best!


amen sister amen

[Delila]

I couldnt imagine where I would be without dressing well I can but its not a pretty thought. When I turn into megan its like there is no other world to stress about. This is probably why my wife is so accepting better a feminine husband than a dead one. It is good that you are working towards expressing yourself more just remember this is something that should be fun and there is really nothing to be gained from worrying about it.

[Kate Simmons]

I know how you feel Denise. I was on "pins and needles" while my wife was here. Now that she's not living here and I can be myself most any time I want, it's certainly different and I must admit can be quite lonely at times. There is a certain amount of trade off in everything. The other thing is that to me, dressing is no big deal to me any more and really a matter of consequence. I do like looking nice as Salandra but I enjoy being Rich as well. It's hard to explain sometimes and kind of like almost being a GG. We feel that GG's look nice and they do but the more I do this, the easier it seems to become and I really don't feel that the final product and end result is anything spectacular, just all in a day's work. I lived 24/7 for about a month and I feel if I did do this all the time, it would be a normal routine and just another day. So, it depends on your outlook and situation, I guess.:happy:

[Trisha]

as for me as a guy im full of stress as a girl im stress free so i try and stay a girl as much as i can

[Michelle_NY]

You can just take it one step at a time Dear. I wish I can go out more often myself, but myy wife would freaking flip too. I love getting all dolled up and going for a drive or shopping at big Dept stores. Its just a real rush. I wish I had a gf here in NY to go with me. XO Michelle