A Special Friend

[Alicia_lynn419]

Hello all,

I have a special GG friend. C and I have been the best buddies since we were 12 years old... we met the first day, first class of 7th grade. Now, 28 years later, our friendship has grown deeper and deeper. C was the first person I came out too, and she has never flattered in her support an encouragement. Over the past 6 years or so, we have both gone through a lot separately, and even though we have not actually seen each other in about 10 years, we still talk almost everyday, (I live in Atlanta, Ga, she in Wisconsin).

Over the past year, we have found our feelings for each other increasing... we share a very special love for one another. Recently, we've been discussing the possibility of "what if..." Here is this amazingly wonderful, warm and loving lady, one who said she "loves and embraces" all of me. She would be TOTALLY cool with my CDing... she said she would enjoy having me around dressed, and even coming to bed in something pretty.

Sounds like a no-brainer, right? Well, there is about 1,500 miles between us, and we are both a little scared at the idea of "what if we became a couple, and it didn't work"? How would that affect the future of our relationship. Sometimes it sounds too good to be true, and at the same time, I'm afraid to upset the balance of our relationship.

At least we have been able to talk openly and honestly with each other about our concerns, yet I know feelings are growing more and more for each of us. If either of us were in a position to pick up and move to the other, I think we would at this point...

Has anyone else ever faced a situation like this? Has anyone else ever come to realize that a life long friend and confidant is the person you've been searching for your whole life, only to find them right in front of you all along?

[celeste26]

Get her while you can, either in Georgia or Wisconsin, or even some place else just dont let her go ever.!!!!

[Tracy_Victoria]

Hello all,

I have a special GG friend. C and I have been the best buddies since we were 12 years old... we met the first day, first class of 7th grade. Now, 28 years later, our friendship has grown deeper and deeper. C was the first person I came out too, and she has never flattered in her support an encouragement. Over the past 6 years or so, we have both gone through a lot separately, and even though we have not actually seen each other in about 10 years, we still talk almost everyday, (I live in Atlanta, Ga, she in Wisconsin).

Over the past year, we have found our feelings for each other increasing... we share a very special love for one another. Recently, we've been discussing the possibility of "what if..." Here is this amazingly wonderful, warm and loving lady, one who said she "loves and embraces" all of me. She would be TOTALLY cool with my CDing... she said she would enjoy having me around dressed, and even coming to bed in something pretty.

Sounds like a no-brainer, right? Well, there is about 1,500 miles between us, and we are both a little scared at the idea of "what if we became a couple, and it didn't work"? How would that affect the future of our relationship. Sometimes it sounds too good to be true, and at the same time, I'm afraid to upset the balance of our relationship.

At least we have been able to talk openly and honestly with each other about our concerns, yet I know feelings are growing more and more for each of us. If either of us were in a position to pick up and move to the other, I think we would at this point...

Has anyone else ever faced a situation like this? Has anyone else ever come to realize that a life long friend and confidant is the person you've been searching for your whole life, only to find them right in front of you all along?

Yep.

Raksha and I fell in love over the phone. you never know how or when love will strike. I was bored and living in a town where my circle of friends was limited, I placed an advert and Raksha was the second person to reply, (The first thankfully didn't leave a phone number otherwise this might be a different story) Anyway we clicked right away, and of all the things she actually lived in my old home town 60 miles away. we phoned and wrote daily, and we met just before christmas. 14 years later I have no regrets at all, best thing I ever did! I now have 3 wonderful sons because of it, my 24 year old stepson, and two little boys that came along afterwards.

[marie354]

This is a wonderful thing. It's never happened to me that way, but what you have seems very special indeed.
I would seriously give it some thought if I were you. An understanding life-long partner is a rare gem shining brightly for you.
The two of you need to talk some more and determine just who will move where and if that's what you really want to do.
Job-wise... Jobs have always been an easy thing to find for me. If I couldn't find one, I'd make one. I'm sure that it's not a problem for either of you either, so what have you got to lose.
If your relationship has blossomed to this point, I'd go for it.
I'm truely excited for you. I think it's fantastic.
:hugs:

[Mary Morgan]

A dear friend of mine died many years ago. I was extremely upset at his passing. At his funeral, I met his mother and we spoke of him. He had mentioned his friendship with me to her and so she knew of me. Out of emotion I suppose, I told her that I would never allow myself to have such a close friend again, because of the pain of the loss. She smiled and asked which would be worse, to have a close friend and share much, then lose them? or, never have the friend in the first place, not have the memories or the feeling?

My take on your situation is that if you are both available, both adults, both honest, truly close friends, it can only be good for both of you to give it a try. Don't spend your life not knowing or wondering what you might have missed. Good luck, Louise

[Gisele]

You have known each other that long. So you know her and she knows you inside and out. How can there be a "what if"? You two know!

It sounds like you two need to figure out what you want to do now.

All my best, Beth:happy:

[Wendy me]

you know what just might be sad if you two don't get together and end up with outher people and every day would would be thinking what if ??????

[kaitlin]

Hi Alicia Lynn, It sounds like you have been blessed with a rare gift, a friend like C. I understand being scared of the "what if's" but I think you and C should at least plan to meet somewhere in between your two homes. Take a few days to meet, talk and just see how things go. No harm, no foul ! If you two have a great time, maybe you can move foward a little. If not then your friendship is still intack and things remain as they are. I think it would be a win-win idea for you both. Finding someone who loves and cares for you as you are and not as the world thinks you should be, is a wonderful and rare thing. I have that in my life and I wish everyone here had it as well. Take care and let me, us, know how things go. Kaitlin

[Sheila]

yup, he was a friend for a long long time, we fought our feelings for each other, timing never right etc eventaully we were both free at the same time and still we danced around each other. We gave it a go, it was right. The worry both of us had, was that we would lose a friendship.

If you are sure thern give it a go hun

Jess

[Joy Carter]

Pack a bag and fly up there. You both will know after one weekend of being together. Just take it light and have allot of fun before any commitments.

Good Luck Joy Carter :hugs:

[ubokvt]

My first love, me 15 she 13 didn't make it then but we stayed in touch through family and friends. We each lived our lives, grew up, married, had children, diviorced, and never intruded into the others life because they were involved and those were the rules. 40 years later at my mothers funeral we met face to face again. The first day of a new life, 6 years into it, it is the best relationship of our lives. It does happen and that shared life 40 years ago made it possible.
If you're serious, want to try it, have the TALK set out the boundries to save the friendship, talk about possiblities, expectations, find out if you're both sure you want companionship and want to try and do it. You are an adult now, with lifes experience and skills you never had as a child. You Know what a good relationship is and now have the skills to build it with the right person. So go for it. I quit my job, left my adult children and grandchild and traveled 3000 miles to be with my wife. I regret none of it. The gains far out weighed the losses. Wish you luck friend.

[MJ]

i agree you should try and see what happens. you both have to work on the relationship , sounds like you are both off to a good start

[Bobbi Lynn]

Go For It!!

[Sandra]

You have known each other long enough go for it

[suzee007]

what a dream situation to be in. You two should welcome each other into each others life under one roof. What a wonderful way to start out knowing so much about each other. I wish you both a happy life together
Suzee::

[Suzie S.]

Alicia_Lynn, you go for it girl! :thumbsup: Trust me, you don't EVER want to have a regret for not at least trying! Regret is a tough meal to eat! I'm sure she might have the same concerns as you. You never know until you try! If you both love each other, you will find a way to make this work! Get off this 'puter and go get her man! I wish you both the best of luck! :hugs:

[Tina]

I think while you are reading this reply you should also be trying to book a
flight to Wisconsin. Don't let life pass you by. Everyday you wonder what to
do is another wasted day.

Don't forget Valentine's day is just around the corner. So take a few days off
and go visit her with a dozen roses in hand and nothing but good things will
happen.

Like the Nike commercial says, "Just do it".

Tina

[Lauren B]

It looks like this has "meant to happen" written all over it.

[Jere Oneil]

This definitely comes under the category of, if you don't give it a try, you will never know it it would have worked out, and this is something I feel you will regret for the rest of both your lives.

[celtic.blue.eyes]

Sounds like you're too concerned with "what if" (you do). Try giving equal concern to "what if you don't", and picture what the rest of your life will be like. Do you have any better alternatives if you don't give it a try? From the length and quality of your relationship, and the fact that you are both dropping some rather strong hints, it would be quite unwise to drop the ball on this one.

Just for the record, I married a lifelong friend, who has become my lifelong best friend and lover. I think you will find some of the most successful marriages are based on foundations of friendship, whether the friendship developed before or after the marriage.

And that 1500 mile distance? Careers and jobs are everywhere. The right woman is not. You know that by now!

If I were in your shoes, I'd travel the the North Pole via Antartica to pursue a lady like the one you describe!

[Alicia_lynn419]

Thank you all for your encouragement and support. I wish it were just as easy as flying up there, or her down here, but right now we're both in extremely tight financial situations... We would like very much to try to plan something later this summer, meanwhile we are both trying to find better employment situations.

[Jere Oneil]

Thank you all for your encouragement and support. I wish it were just as easy as flying up there, or her down here, but right now we're both in extremely tight financial situations... We would like very much to try to plan something later this summer, meanwhile we are both trying to find better employment situations.

Here's a suggestion which would be a little cheaper for both of you. Use some vacation time, say a week. Then pick out a location about halfway between the two of you and spend the week together, splitting the expenses. This will give you a chance to "try before you buy" so to speak. Maybe that isn't a great term to use, but all I mean is for the two of you to be able to spend some time together. After all, you haven't seen the lady in quite a while. And don't base any decisions on the fact that she accepts you dressing. There is a heck of a lot more to a successful relationship than just that one aspect.

[Angie G]

Alicia you have a good friend there don't screw it up I not saying don't go for it just take it easy hun :hugs:
Angie

[Alicia_lynn419]

Yes, We've talked about meeting half way, or going to visit some mutual friends this summer in our home town... We have also discussed not screwing up a good thing, but feel we won't know til we try. I also discussed this with my therapist today, and admitted that although i am quite intrigued, I did not want this to be a relationship based solely on her acceptance of Allie, and know we have been friends long before she knew Allie.

When she told me about 2 weeks ago that she "loved and embraced all parts of me..." it was wonderful.. I got a little misty eyed.. never thought I'd hear that... especially after an ex wife that knew and refused to embrace all of me.... but thats another thread.

[Kristen Kelly]

You won't know unless you try.

Through my life I have had and still do have many great friends that are GG women, some of the women I've dated I'm still friends with, It didn't work out romanticly. The long distance romance thing is tough, dated a girl from Pittsburgh for 6 month, flying or driving from NJ every other weekend, or flying her out here. After 6 months moved her out here. Well under the same roof we had our problems the things I loved about her once in a while I could not take all the time, but she missed her family (very close to her mom) and friends. and after about 6 months moved back. Will never find another like her I thought, and didn't, I found one better.

[matti]

From what I know there are only two things certain in life: Death and Taxes
All other things may or may not happen depending on the person or persons involved. Relationships are meant to take longer than some would like but time is your friend. I fully believe that if it is meant to be that both or you are meant to be together you will know. I think you will both realize at the right time that you can not spend another day apart and then all other concerns become minor. Moving, chaning, distance, etc become secondary to the strong love and bond you both have developed.

Enjoy this time in your life.

[Girdlewoman]

Don't blow a great friendship. They are often times more lasting and valuable than a marrige. I have had friends since the begining oftime,male and female. Many know about me and in the interum I had a wife for 21 years. Surprise to me many ask me what the marrige was all about. Peace, Charlene