Update

[Theater Dork]

I appologize for not getting online recently. I've had a lot going on.

Now that I have a moment, I thought I would give those of you who tried to help me out, an update on what's going on.

Things with the girl I was seeing have fallen apart, which is killing me. I'm in the process of trying to get answers from her about what she wants at this point, but so far i have been unsuccessful. She's got a lot going on and doesn't know what she wants or what she's doing from day to day. So that's still a work in progress.

As for me, I'm getting to be a little more comfortable in my own skin. I still don't think I've quite gotten everthing frigured out with my sexuality and all, but I've decided to just go with what I feel. I've realized lately that some of the things I do are femme and some are butch, but instead of trying to change that, I decided to just embrace it. I'm very open now about my sexuality. Except with my parents. I still haven't told them. But I'll do that when I'm ready. Besides, they have enough on their plate right now. I'm moving out at the beginning of March, so they're trying to deal with that. They have just recently decided to be supportive as opposed to just being negative like before. My dad told me the other night he is going to buy me a new dresser and a new matress (instead of me buying them) and help me fix and repaint my entertainment center.

My increasing attraction to women is almost overpowering now. I've had quite a few guys hit on me the past couple weeks and only one has been able to even spark an interest. On the other hand, I've met a few girls who have astounded me.

As confused as I still am, I'm starting to get more peace of mind about it. There are times when it is still kinda hard, but at the moment, I feel peaceful and almost happy. I got all my hair cut off. It was a little longer than shoulder length and now the back and sides are about an inch long i think and the front is a little longer. The front looks a whole lot like Shane's hair in season two of the l word. That's who it was modeled after. So with my new hair and the tiny bit of self-confidence I have recently found, I'm starting to feel a bit more comfortable with me. :happy: :rose2:

[pocoyo]

Awww! I'm so glad you're feeling more comfortable with you.
Also it's great that your parents are being cool.
I can relate to that sexuality confusion thing, but in my particular case it's sort of mixed up with my gender issues. I know how hard it can be though.
I'm sorry to hear that you have split up with your girlfriend, but perhaps it was too confusing for you to have a partner right now?
And... your hair sounds fantastic! Go you :D
I'm so glad you're feeling peaceful and almost happy!
Good luck if/when you talk to your parents about things.

[Tamera]

Glad to see you are finding answers to your questions. That is one of the characteristics of being a CD, is the bouncing back from one gender to the next and having thoughts about each gender, this can be very confusing. It's hard for anyone to actually tell you what is the best route to take in dealing with this for we are all different and what is best for me may not be best for you. Keep taking those "baby steps" as they call it.
Tamera

[Theater Dork]

Awww! I'm so glad you're feeling more comfortable with you.
Also it's great that your parents are being cool.
I can relate to that sexuality confusion thing, but in my particular case it's sort of mixed up with my gender issues. I know how hard it can be though.
I'm sorry to hear that you have split up with your girlfriend, but perhaps it was too confusing for you to have a partner right now?
And... your hair sounds fantastic! Go you :D
I'm so glad you're feeling peaceful and almost happy!
Good luck if/when you talk to your parents about things.

Thank you. It really means a lot to me knowing that I can post things here that aren't exactly about cross dressing and becuz I'm not a full on CD. And getting respoces from everyone is really comforting becuz I know I have people I can talk to. In hopes of not sounding too forward, I really feel like I can connect with you, poc. I don't know what it is, but from reading your posts and things that you have written, I somehow feel a sense of bonding and comfort in your words. Thank you.

BTW, yea, I am really really excited about my hair!

[bi_weird]

*HUG*
EMBRACE YOUR CONFUSION! *laughs* Sorry, standing joke with my friends has to do with agnostics finding pride in their confusion and 'spreading the gospel' of confusion to the masses...seems to work for andrygynous people also.
Anyway back to topic. Sorry, I'm thrown off by Pocs pics right now.
But yes, baby steps are good things. Take your time with it - I joined moooonths ago and still can't regularly call myself transgender. It's cool to be whoever you feel like being, even if that changes daily. The experienced members give me hope that someday I'll know for sure which section to shop in for clothes, but if not, then I just have more choices. Sorry about your splitup though - can't be easy to go through when you're dealing with all this. Hope things get better for ya and good luck with your impending move.

[CaptLex]

As confused as I still am, I'm starting to get more peace of mind about it. There are times when it is still kinda hard, but at the moment, I feel peaceful and almost happy. I got all my hair cut off. It was a little longer than shoulder length and now the back and sides are about an inch long i think and the front is a little longer. The front looks a whole lot like Shane's hair in season two of the l word. That's who it was modeled after. So with my new hair and the tiny bit of self-confidence I have recently found, I'm starting to feel a bit more comfortable with me. :happy: :rose2:
Happy to hear that you're feeling more confident and finding some peace of mind. It's a process, I think, but it's great to hear that you're finding out more about yourself and embracing your androgyny. Glad to hear that your parents are being supportive - that's so important too. As for your girlfriend, I'm sorry to hear you broke up - maybe she was overwhelmed by it all. I think some of the SOs can give you better insight on that. Good luck with the move, and keep us posted on your progress.

[Ryan]

Hiya Theater again. Ooops, forgive me, but I have been away a while and only just read your first thread and posted on that one before seeing this one. I am glad you are becoming more comfy with yourself. As I said in the other thread, no need for lables.

You are who you are, you like what you like etc, and no one can change that, and sometimes we dont even know why we are the way we are, we just are. We might not understand why, but we just need to learn to accept it in the end.

If it is something we really hate we would change it and not worry about it. Kinda like us guys that are going through transition etc. Hopefully when we are all done we can move on, not be all depressed and unhappy for the rest of our lives, no. We will become what we have always wanted to be, and are inside, then we will be happy.

You are only young hun, and no rush, no need to rush at all......... Take all the time you need, and ask all you want, as I said before. Sorry to hear about you girlfriend, relationships are hard work, especially if we are confused ourselves. We may give out confusing signals, or do/say things that can be interpreted in a different way to how we meant them to.

If things dont work out with your gf then take it as an oppurtunity to discover yourself without influence. I know it might seem harsh me saying this, but at the ned of the day, it is you who you must think about. You who needs to get through things and get things sorted out, and only you can do it.

Time with yourself can be a great help, I dont mean hide away and not talk or see anyone, but rather, no commitments yea? Please yourself, it may take months or years, try things out, then and only then can you decide how you feel about whatever. Like I said no rush :) Ryan.

[Dasein9]

Congratulations!

I agree with Bi. Confusion is a good thing. (My students hate it when I say that! ) But it's good because it means we're learning. And learning ourselves is learning the most important thing in our lives.

Congratulations also on moving out. In my experience, living in one's own home (even with roommates) is a big help in learning to be oneself. Many happy adventures to you!