Lesbian Love

[ubokvt]

In many threads I've read read a common response for SOs when they find out their partner dresses is I married a man I don't want to be in a lesbian relationship. This has always struck me as strange becuse I have never considered having a lesbian relationship with my SO, it just doesn't fit into my idea of dressing. So for those of us that are lucky enough to have an SO who will relate to us dressed in bed, have you felt like a lesbian, have you ever considered the relationship from that view point? Can you even imagin yourself owning that label? Why or Why not?

[Sporco]

I might be different than most but I don't think of myself as either male or female, I'm just me. When I'm making love to my wife it's from me to her and not from the specific point of view of gender. Sometimes I do it i in masculine attire and sometimes in feminine attire. She seems fine with either.

When I'm on top and have an urgent need to drive it's usually in masculine mode however.

[Stephenie S]

In many threads I've read read a common response for SOs when they find out their partner dresses is I married a man I don't want to be in a lesbian relationship. This has always struck me as strange becuse I have never considered having a lesbian relationship with my SO, it just doesn't fit into my idea of dressing. So for those of us that are lucky enough to have an SO who will relate to us dressed in bed, have you felt like a lesbian, have you ever considered the relationship from that view point? Can you even imagin yourself owning that label? Why or Why not?

Dear ubok,

Try and have a bit of empathy, dear. It's not all about you. What you said in your post was that many SO say they married a man, not a woman. If they had wanted to make love to a woman they would have married a woman. They don't want a lesbian relationship. That's how your SO feels. Then you say you can't understand it because you don't feel that way. But it's not how YOU feel, it's how SHE feels. The ability to understand something from anothers point of view is called empathy.

I am not trying to sound harsh here, but try and put yourself in her shoes (no, I don't mean in her heels, I mean in her thoughts). Try and imagine how you would feel about her if she only wanted to make love to you when she was dressed as a man. Wouldn't that seem to make you into a gay man?

That's all these girls are saying. When you present as a woman, no matter how YOU feel, it tends to make them feel like you are making them into a lesbian. In this instance it's not how YOU feel, it's how SHE feels.

With love and respect,
Stephie

[melissaK]

Sexcapades in a sterotypical male role (I don't know how to define it, but I know it when I see it :heehee: ) takes a little mental commitment to role playing by me. Usually not a lot, but a little.

If my mind is left to itself in sexplay, (i.e., no one to please but myself) I'm pretty girlish in what I like and how I behave. So, that has led me to sometimes think of myself as having a lipstick lesbian midset (to steal some labels that I really know very little about being).

And, yeah, gg often view womens clothes on a sex partner as too close to liking sex with a woman. And why not. Imagine if our gg s/os decided to come to bed with a 5 o'clock shadow colored in, wearing a plaid flannel shirt, over a wife beater T, with a big belt buckle on the belt holding up cowboy cut jeans, wearing biker boots, and unzipping to reveal a big strap on, and saying "common buddy, drop them drawers for Bubba now."

I suspect many of us would have trouble seeing the femininity of our gg behind it and we'd wonder if we really were still straight hetero guys if we started playing along with Bubba . . . .

[Jena11]

Well, when I was married my wife told me the same thing. I understood because I see myself as a Lesbian. I seem to be one of the few here that see myself in that way. No big deal. I like everyone and it is what each person wants or needs in there life. Jena

[eleventhdr]

Yes I have thought and thought about just this annd have come to this conclusion i am mostly a straight hetro male transgenered crossdressing male but am a lesbian female because i love the female sex so mucch that i would still love them and want relationships with them evne if i were feamle

The only reason to have relations with a male is to have a baby and then it should be a female vbaby because to give birht to yet another female wow oh wow not that i have anything agaienst boys but i just love gilrs that much more myself oh well

Suzy!

[Helen MC]

To an extent yes. When I was married and in other relationships before and since I have prefered the passive role in sex, with the woman on top and her making love to me rather than the other way round, and with her taking the initiative sexually. Although I have no wish to have GRS I have often thought that were I to so I would not have any attraction to men sexually and would still be attracted to women and thus would have a quasi Lesbian sex-life.

[PaulaJaneThomas]

I've had the occassional les girl be attracted to me when I've been out and about in Brum so that offically makes me a lesbain :D

[Peggy55]

I am a hetro male but when dressed I do think of myself as a lesbian at times. Afterall I am a woman trapped in a mans body who likes women....makes me a lesbian!

[Jackie-Ann]

Well, when I was married my wife told me the same thing. I understood because I see myself as a Lesbian. I seem to be one of the few here that see myself in that way. No big deal. I like everyone and it is what each person wants or needs in there life. Jena

When I was in my young teens, twenties, thirties intercourse was ok. As I got into my forties (now in my fifties) I started losing my drive for intercourse and feeling more like a "lesbian". Before, I could get aroused either way, in my male persona or my female persona although I always enjoyed more when I was wearing feminine lingerie.
Thanks to my SW and her being content just with oral sex, we can enjoy our relationship. I never denied her to have an extramarital affair if she was in need of a "man".

[janedoe311]

Cannot explain why. I am a heterosexual and love women. I do not like men and find their bodies quite repulsive.

But the idea of being a lesbian is just about as repulsive and having sex with a man, maybe more. I could not have a relationship or love with a man as a women, but if I suddenly found myself as a women I would try or find a *******.

I do not like to watch lesbian adult movies or pictures. Prefer heterosexual relationships. Not into oral sex and strap-on’s seem to be “one” sided.

I think it is the need to be normal. Do not what to have anything to do with the homosexual community. I would be very upset if my SO like me dressed up. I do not want her to like women in any form.

So you go figure it. I do not understand it. No doubt why it is called gender confusion. I can not be more confused.

[suzy]

Listen to Stepanie!!!! Listen to what Stephanie wrote!!! That's the answer!:hugs:

[marie354]

I don't think about it at that time at all... I just try to be sure that she enjoys herself and don't worry about myself. I never dress for it, it's skin-to-skin for me.
Now fantasy-wise, I'm sure we all have several fantasies at that time, but never, never about baseball.
:hugs:

[Robin Leigh]

Yes. Most of my girlfriends have been bi, so that hasn't been much of a problem.

And if I were to ever have a sexual interaction with another GM again, it would almost certainly be with another t-lesbian.

:hugs:

Robin

[Tamara Croft]

I just asked my Tam this question, she says she feels a bit of both - a guy dressed as a woman and a lesbian ;)

I don't really consider myself straight, so however she/he feels, is kewl with me :D

[AnnaMaria]

For me the only time this has come up from my so was in the context of srs. The idea that she is not a lesbian and does not want a lesbian relationship was a major factor in her reason for not wanting me to have srs if I ever considered the idea. Other wise she just sees me as me and I personally see myself as one person that just happens to answer to two different names and has two completely different looks depending on my mood.

But, I do have to agree with Steph a woman's perception of her husband can infact be skewed by the idea that the "man" she married is more woman that man in her eyes and she has a problem with the idea that she might be precieved as a lesbian. But no matter what the whole thing is about her and her feelings. And what we as the "male" of the relationship need to do to make her more comfortable with the situation.

Anna

[tonilee]

What difference does it make what we call our interaction? Do we really care what label may be put on what we do? The question to be resolved is, do we enjoy what we are doing. Let us not get tied up in words. Each of us has a limited number of breaths left. Do not waste them on triviolitiaties.

[Tiffany Leigh]

Imagine if our gg s/os decided to come to bed with a 5 o'clock shadow colored in, wearing a plaid flannel shirt, over a wife beater T, with a big belt buckle on the belt holding up cowboy cut jeans, wearing biker boots, and unzipping to reveal a big strap on, and saying "common buddy, drop them drawers for Bubba now."
. .

nobody wants to see that!!!!!:hiding:

[westcoastCD]

I might be different than most but I don't think of myself as either male or female, I'm just me. When I'm making love to my wife it's from me to her and not from the specific point of view of gender. Sometimes I do it i in masculine attire and sometimes in feminine attire. She seems fine with either.

When I'm on top and have an urgent need to drive it's usually in masculine mode however.
Im with you, sporco.

[cocopuff's girl GG]

Stephanie and Mellissa pretty much sum it up for me.

[Angela E.]

I`ve always been attracted to lesbians and they to me.I consider this a normal situation in regards to my sexuality.-Angela.:bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :GE: :rose2: :rose2: :rose2:

[ubokvt]

Stephenie, thank you for the insightful input and I agree with you whole heartedly. I truly understand how an SO feels and how seeing me dressed might cause her to see that the person and relationship has changed.

What I was trying to say when I said “This has always struck me as strange because I have never considered having a lesbian relationship with my SO, it just doesn't fit into my idea of dressing.” I see myself as a person who sometimes dresses differently than the cultural norms, but that doesn’t change me. Still people rush to label and then define me by whatever judgments they have attached to that label. I don’t understand because covering my body with a piece of cloth doesn’t instantly change me or my view of my self, but it does that for others.

My question better stated would be does dressing allow you to see your sexuality from a different prospective? Can you imagine you are in a lesbian relationship? I can’t accept the label Lesbian, I’m just a person in contact with another person, but it does allow me to imagine what it might feel like emotionally and physically to be with a person of the same sex. So what about you? Does being dressed change your view/experience of your sexuality?

To all that answered I appreciate your views, it helps me understand myself, our relationship, and dressing; Thank you

[jennifer easton]

I've never felt that way

[rickie121x]

Except when in the jock mode, or when I am out in the field with my model plane flying friends, I feel like a female- well it is a nice feeling and is a lot different than my feelings in the jock mode....

And I love to be with women and to make love with women. :love: But that happens in my femme state as well as in my male state. Conclusion: I am a heterosexual lesbian. IE. heading for them there females no matter what! :c9:

Rickie :dom: :doll:

[Stephenie S]

Dear ubok,

How do I feel? Well, fortunately (or unfortunately), the situation does not come up for me as I am in a committed relationship. That said, however, I assume that, because I am straight, were I to transition I would then be attracted to men. This is an idea frought with uncertainty. I do not think I am homosexual, lesbian or gay. I am attracted to the oposite sex. I have never been attracted to men in the past so I am assuming that I am straight. I am sure that I would change and be attracted to men if I were to become a woman. Pretty weird, huh?

Lovies,
Steph