Baby steps..................my foot!!!

[Dawn D.]

Well, it has been quite a time over the past two weeks! What am I talking about........! It has been an incredible journey this past few month's! I'll try to explain:

I only came out completely to my wife about a year ago. And have been a member here since about the same time. My darling wife actually took to understanding fairly easy, though with the "normal" reservations. And I beleive I have heeded the advice given to others here about taking things slow, i.e. baby steps. In the beginning, to me, at times it seemed too slow. We bought and read books, watched tv programs, and talked and talked and yes I'll admit cried and then still talked some more.

Looking back, I think it took about six months before we really started to have a little fun with CDing. We made little shopping trips, sometimes just for her and then at times some things for me. Eventually we started painting our toe nails together and still do! Then we reached the acceptance level of "getting comfy" in our pj's or nightgowns, robes and slippers! Wow, that is so much fun! It's like nightly pajama parties!!!! We have begun to watch romantic movies together. I have found that I truley enjoy them! And of course, this being February, what better time for romantic movies!!!

Recently, she has gained enough trust in me and grown so supportive that now I can dress up fully on occasion and enjoy this experience with her as well. In all of this acceptance from her, there is one thing that she has struggled with the most and that is make up. Well, to make this long story a bit shorter, A couple days ago, I was stunned to say the least when she made the suggestion that we go to the local Tarje' (Target) and pick up some new lipstick for...................us....(gulp)!!!! I instantly turned to jello... Believe me when I say that this is the women of my dreams and has always been. Even before she really new about Dawn. I am truely blessed! She is trying sooooo hard. And, to this point seems to be coping quite well.

It got even better. After getting a whole selection of make up for me and of course replenishing her stock too, we have come to a new agreement that Friday nights are "our" nights. Tonight being the first! We start with making our own pizza from scratch. Then cocktails. Then watching "What Not To Wear" w/ Stacie and Clinton(my favorite program). How much better can it be? Well..... at breakfast this am she told that tonight I was to get dressed in my best and she is going to "Doll" me up! Fingernails, make up and all! I am in such anticipation right now I cannot hardly do my job!!! Good thing I am the boss!

I have to find this woman a box car load of Roses somewhere!! She is one fantastic lady! And not just for her acceptance either. She is an awesome mother and nurturer, life partner. And last but certainly not least, one incredible friend!! Thank you honey, I Love You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I just felt I had to share. And to those still not able to enjoy this level of acceptance, here's hoping and praying that someday it happens for you too!!


Dawn

[marie354]

What a wonderful story of your acceptance. My SO accepted me from the start but didn't want to see it until about 2-3 months ago when she decided to let me run with it.
Fantastic news! You'll probably be in a pink fog for a while. I know I was, and maybe still am. I love shopping in a way that I never had before.
:hugs:

[JoAnnDallas]

You did the right thing. You took it slow and let her make her own desisions and come to her own conclusions. In short you set back and let her get her head around your CDing. At the same time you did not force it on her or go into the Pink Fog. As result she has come to the understanding that your not going anywhere, your not going to transist, and you still love her.

Congrads.....I hope the two of you have a wonderful night.

[Sheila]

Hope the two of oyu have a great night hun

Jess

[Dawn D.]

Marie:
Yes, I too have an enjoyment for shopping, that I get just giddy about it. My wife really seems to like having me with her when we go. Maybe, it is because I don't grumble and grovel like some other husbands do when looking at curtains and table clothes and such. Instead we talk openly together about making sure things are color coordinated and has the right look!

JoAnn:
Pink Fog? Right now, I'm trying hard not to fall into the Pink SOUP! lol. Seriously though, you are right, letting her come to terms on her own time schedule is the right approach. As frustrating and somewhat agonizing as it may have seemed to me in the early stages, it was definately worth the wait!

Thank you, Girls!

Dawn

[Dawn D.]

Thank you, Jess! We Will!!!

Dawn

[SandyR]

Sounds like you have a great night planned, enjoy! When you mentioned how other husbands grumble when they take there SO's shopping. Mine told me after she found out "I was not to surprised, since you always pick out the best shoes for me!".


Huggs...

SandyR

[kerrianna]

:hugs: Way to go lucky girl! Hope you two have a lot of fun tonight and every Friday night. Obviously you're doing a good job at making this safe for her, so do try to keep from getting too giddy and silly girl. :D

Lol, I KNEW bosses didn't do any actual work! :rolleyes:

:love:

[KimberlyS]

Dawn, I love your title: "Baby steps..................my foot!!! "

If you read what you wrote, yes you started with baby steps and did not push. And the third thing that I read from your post is that your wife then took the lead in most of the changes and progression.

Your wife being comfortable enough lead is the key and I have found some of this with my wife also. They can change/accept more/progress/what ever words you want to use, at their speed a lot better than than they can at ours most of the time. So we do the baby steps and they can take what ever sized steps that they want.

It also sounds like you and your wife are doing things together that you both like. So it is not just your own person thing, but something you do together. I try to do this often also. If I am dressed at home and my wife is around we try to do something together that we both like to do. And on our outings we do the same. Things we both like to do and also she gets both femme me and male me time.

And a finally the most important part is where you said:

"We bought and read books, watched tv programs, and talked and talked and yes I'll admit cried and then still talked some more. "

It sounds like you are communicating with your wife. A skill many of us struggle with, but IMHO is so important to a healthy relationship.

[Sierra Evon]

What a wonderful story , I'm very happy for you !!!!! :thumbsup:

[danielle40I]

Kudos to both you and your lovely spouse! And as others have pointed out in this thread, you both shared in a growth phase in your realtionship. ( the operative word here is "shared").
In my last relationship I admit to making a series of erroneous assumptions and after ten years, found that my SO was hiding a deep seated paranoia for my cross dressing. I tried to lead her, Kicking and Screaming as it were, into something that proved increasingly intimidating. And the relationship imploded.

It has been a heart wrenching lesson in lacking communication skills.

Fortunately, I've met a woman whom I shared my crossdressing with 3 months into the relationship. And she's the one asking all the questions! Not from an intimidated viewpoint, but one of sincere desire to understand.

I've been blessed with a second chance and I know it. I hope that I will have the same seemingly fulfilling realtionship with this wonderful woman as you do with yours.

Congratulations!

Dani

[Tracy Lynn]

Enjoy your evening Dawn. That sounds like so much fun.

[Sandra]

What a lovely post Dawn, hope you both have a great night.

[Dawn D.]

SandyR:
Thank you. We had a funny thing happen while shopping in The Avenue for my wife. You see she loves purple (who doesn't) lol, however, she would just about have no other color. Well, we had a little exchange while I was trying to convince her that a yellow top would look fantastic on her. I must have said a little to loud "you need something in your closet besides purple!", as these two ladies passing by(maybe not used to men helping thier wives shop for clothes) turned, looked at me then started giggling loudly. My wife just said "ok, your right". The two other ladies jaws dropped! I just smiled at them!

Kerrianna:
Well, thank you! About us bosses, to borrow a phrase....."and, now you know the rest of the story....Good day!"


Kimberly:
Many thanks for you observations. I don't think I could honestly say that I didn't push. I'm pretty sure she would say I did. However, living with this wonderfull lady for 28 years and married for 27, I think i've earned when to stop pushing! Call it feMale intuition. You're very astute though, I did offer to her total control over this. Her imediate response was that she did not want to control it. We agreed that if I felt the desire to dress I could and if she felt that it was becoming too intense for her comfort she had the right to ask me not to or to slow it down. To this point she has not one time asked me not to do anything. Except once, I got into her makeup and she was a little taken aback from my appearance (must have been pretty bad... lol). At that time she did say that this (makeup) was something that would take more time.

I have learned how to tell when she really does not want to talk or discuss the CD issue and that is OK with me!!! But, yes, communication is a healty thing!


Sierra Evon: Thank you too!!

Danielle:
Thank you for the kind words. So sorry to hear of your earlier relationship. I know that I would just die were that to happen to my wife and I. It sounds though that you have a solid foundation to work from in you new relationship and that is truely a wonderful thing! Congradulations to the two of YOU!!!

Dawn

[Danika]

That sounds like a lovely evening for sure. My SO and I have had several "girlie" and I couldn't be happier. Good luck and have a blast :happy:

[Dawn D.]

Sandra and Tracy: Thank you both!


Oh look! I just made Junior Member......Hoooray, this is an awesome day!!


Dawn

[susie bear]

Dawn,

Congratulations on everything. I think it's wonderful. My wife and I just went shopping for nightgowns for ME together. First for us. Good luck.

[Dawn D.]

Danika and Susie Bear: Thank you very much!!

[Tina B.]

Dawn happy early Valintines day, sounds like a sweet time in your life.
It took my wife a long time to teach me to use makeup, and the first lesson was to stay out of her's. but with practice it gets easy, and it is so much fun to practice.
Have a great evening!!!!!
Tina B.

[Jasmine Ellis]

lovely story I'm happy for you

[SherriePall]

Dawn -- Sounds like you have a keeper. Hope you have a good time tonight. Keep us posted.

[Dawn D.]

Tina, Jasmine, Sherrie: Thanks for your kind words!

To all the members here. Of all the internet sites I have ever been a part of, CD related or not, this one is beyond compare. I can never express enough my gratitude for the kindness and understanding that comes from the hearts of this site!

Will keep you posted on how things go tonight.....................with minor...hemmm....ommissions!


Dawn

[Tina B.]

Tina, Jasmine, Sherrie: Thanks for your kind words!

To all the members here. Of all the internet sites I have ever been a part of, CD related or not, this one is beyond compare. I can never express enough my gratitude for the kindness and understanding that comes from the hearts of this site!

Will keep you posted on how things go tonight.....................with minor...hemmm....ommissions!


Dawn

Dawn, there are somthings a lady never tells!!!
Tina

[Stephanie Miller]

Well? How did it go Dawn? As good as we all said a prayer for I hope.

[Joy Carter]

Well, it has been quite a time over the past two weeks! What am I talking about........! It has been an incredible journey this past few month's! I'll try to explain:

I only came out completely to my wife about a year ago. And have been a member here since about the same time. My darling wife actually took to understanding fairly easy, though with the "normal" reservations. And I beleive I have heeded the advice given to others here about taking things slow, i.e. baby steps. In the beginning, to me, at times it seemed too slow. We bought and read books, watched tv programs, and talked and talked and yes I'll admit cried and then still talked some more.

Looking back, I think it took about six months before we really started to have a little fun with CDing. We made little shopping trips, sometimes just for her and then at times some things for me. Eventually we started painting our toe nails together and still do! Then we reached the acceptance level of "getting comfy" in our pj's or nightgowns, robes and slippers! Wow, that is so much fun! It's like nightly pajama parties!!!! We have begun to watch romantic movies together. I have found that I truley enjoy them! And of course, this being February, what better time for romantic movies!!!

Recently, she has gained enough trust in me and grown so supportive that now I can dress up fully on occasion and enjoy this experience with her as well. In all of this acceptance from her, there is one thing that she has struggled with the most and that is make up. Well, to make this long story a bit shorter, A couple days ago, I was stunned to say the least when she made the suggestion that we go to the local Tarje' (Target) and pick up some new lipstick for...................us....(gulp)!!!! I instantly turned to jello... Believe me when I say that this is the women of my dreams and has always been. Even before she really new about Dawn. I am truely blessed! She is trying sooooo hard. And, to this point seems to be coping quite well.

It got even better. After getting a whole selection of make up for me and of course replenishing her stock too, we have come to a new agreement that Friday nights are "our" nights. Tonight being the first! We start with making our own pizza from scratch. Then cocktails. Then watching "What Not To Wear" w/ Stacie and Clinton(my favorite program). How much better can it be? Well..... at breakfast this am she told that tonight I was to get dressed in my best and she is going to "Doll" me up! Fingernails, make up and all! I am in such anticipation right now I cannot hardly do my job!!! Good thing I am the boss!

I have to find this woman a box car load of Roses somewhere!! She is one fantastic lady! And not just for her acceptance either. She is an awesome mother and nurturer, life partner. And last but certainly not least, one incredible friend!! Thank you honey, I Love You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I just felt I had to share. And to those still not able to enjoy this level of acceptance, here's hoping and praying that someday it happens for you too!!


Dawn


Dawn, I'm all misty eyed here for you. :hugs:

[Suzie S.]

Dawn, that was a wonderful and inspiring story! Thank you for sharing that with us. I hope you and your wife have many, many more happy years together! :hugs:

...and don't forget that boxcar of roses!!! :love:

[Dawn D.]

Well, I said I would keep you all posted and I am here to report that Dawn had an absolutely dreamy night! When we arrived home Friday, we were putting some groceries away and then I was just starting to help make a pizza for us when my Wife turns to me to say "go pick out the color for your nails" . I dutifully obliged. I picked out a very nice pink color (sorry girls, I am not yet to familiar with names of the paints). So, when I brought out my color, She says " now go in and get dressed in what ever you would like to wear.I'll make the pizza. Come back out and I will do your nails" My heart was racing in anticipation! You see, we always paint each others toenails however, this is the first time she has painted my fingernails!! What an absolute lucious treat! I wore a pair of pink Flexees panties, a bra (no forms yet so, must fill with other finery), a beautiful vintage pink lace slip, a new pair of L'eggs shear energy pantyhose, a really pretty blue pull over two piece dress with a lace bodice and a pair of white stappy sandals with 2 inch heels. Oh, I felt so good!!!!!

My wife does a fantastic job on fingernails (of course lots of practice), she gets compliments all the time! Well, she sat me down, and it was like a full manicure! She trimmed and filed and preped my nails, and then, the greatest experience was when she rested one hand at a time on top of her left hand and painstakenly caressed each stroke of the brush along my nails. I'm telling you, sitting there in full dress, in the presense of a beautiful woman, while she is working on my fingers and talking to each other about all kinds of things is my first and will always be my most treasured moment of feeling 'girly'. It was shear heaven and I felt sooooo honored! It was very emotional, she looked at me and said "you look like your going to cry". I very nearly was. I reached out to hug and kiss her and she said "not until your nails are dry. You'll muss them up!" So, I sat here in anticipation again. But, joyfully so.

As I said before, her biggest hurdle to get over is the makeup. And it turned out to still be too big of a hurdle for this night. It's is not so much me wearing it, more than it is her putting it on me. I'll tell you though, I was not in the least disappointed. She made me feel so special that night the make up did not matter.

Once my nails were dry, we finished with dinner and settled in together with cocktails and a couple hours of Stacie and Clinton. It was so thrilling to sit and listen and watch Stacie, being dressed up. My wife and I would at times agree with her and Clinton and other times not. She even said that she felt Stacie would approve of the style clothing that I chose to wear(my heart went aflutter!). I wish they would do a makeover on a CDer sometime!! That would really be a fun show.

Anyway, that's where I'll stop on Friday night! The rest is.....uhhh .......personal. I will say that the rest of the weekend she was very willing to let me do some things that previously she wouldn't. Like, she suggested that If I were careful not to be obvious with exposing my fingers that I could keep the nail polish on for our trip to town and shopping the next day (Saturday). I thought about it and ultimately chickened out and took it off. I felt it would just be too obvious. On Sunday though, I regained some bravery and asked her to put a more neutral color with gloss on, she even asked if I wanted to wear my fragrance (Amber), and I did. If you've ever worn that, you know it is quite distinct. Then we went to do more shopping, That was exhilerating!!! Never got a second look from anyone (that I was aware of anyway). I ended up keeping the nail polish on until this morning just before going to work (rats!).

I want to say here that this was one of the best weekends I have ever had and I intend to reciprocate very well to make Valentines Day especially good for Her!!!! Thank you, Honey! Your the best...XOXOOXO:love: !!!!!



Dawn

p.s. Thanks to everyone here for your kind words and support!!!

[krisinpink]

What a great thing! Have fun, be in love, and enjoy enjoy enjoy!!