Another Question for All - on being submissive

[Peggy55]

What is the opinion of everyone that CD'ers tend to take the submissive role in a relationship. I read this somewhere and wanted to see if it has any merit?

[Sheila]

We have a balanced relationship, sometimes he is leading, others I do, but maily we go together............. works for us:D

[Kali]

My femme personality is definitely submissive to women, but overall we have a pretty balanced relationship.

[Ugly Michele]

I am totally submisve. Would let my wife treat me as she wants. She could say, or do anything she wants to me. I am her belonging as I look at it. I love her so much that I have nothing but her. How she treats me is a show of love and every bruse would be a badge of honor, every kiss a show of love.
She is my everything and I am hers to do with as she pleases.

[marie354]

I'd love to play the submissive, but my SO will always wait for me to make the first move. Then, as they say... It's all fair.
:hugs:

[Sierra Evon]

Yep !!!!, thats me submissive girl to a tee, just dont make me mad !!!!!:heehee:

[Tamara Croft]

My Tam is very submissive (don't tell her I told you), let's just say she likes my :dom:

:heehee:

[paulaN]

I'm a sub all the way. I don't like beeing pushed around though. Then again I don't think anyone does.

[Brenda Love]

I'm only submissive when I'm dressed or underdressed......my wife has joked many times about getting me a french maids outfit to clean the house inn,not only would i do all the housework and love doing it I would also do anything she asked.I think my wife loves and needs me to be the boss sometimes so I give her that too.

hugs
Brenda

[Sweet Jane]

Hi

I don't think I'm submissive, I hope that I'm not dominant either. I just hope that as a couple we can be happy and achieve so much more than we ever dreamed we could alone.

[Billijo49504]

I let my wife be the boss, till I say so. Then the real boss comes out. But we do share the responsability most of the time...BJ

[Crissy Kay]

Yes, I am rather subbie while dressed in one of my maid outfits!!!

[Tasha Meredith]

A little. Not so much in the D/s kind of context, but I'm definitely not some kind of control freak.

[Nigella]

I suppose at some point we are all submissive.

I for one am, how else do you think she got me to the alter :devil:

But seriously our relationship is built on trust, mutual respect and an understanding of each other. But I suppose the short answer is, occasionally yes.

[CDTiffany]

completely submissive!!! And I love it!
XOXO Tiffany

[Karren H]

WRONG!!!!!!! I'm outgoing and semi-agressive, no matter how I'm dressed!!!

Love Karren

[sherell]

I prefer to be sub when we role play but in are normal routine we discuss everything

[sherell]

WRONG!!!!!!! I'm outgoing and semi-agressive, no matter how I'm dressed!!!

Love Karren

Thats not a little bitchy Karen

[admirerplus GG]

Peggy,

In my observation I have noticed that each CD in this forum is an individual with their own unique personality. I do not think that being a CD necessarily means that a person has a preference for being a submissive in an intimate relationship.

I do not believe that CDing can be linked to stereotypical behaviour.:2c:

[ArleneRaquel]

As Trina I am very aggressive. :love: & :hugs: Trina - No Shrinking Violet

[Kate Simmons]

Submissive? Not in this lifetime Hon, or any other for that matter.;) :battingeyelashes:

[Amy Hepker]

YES, and NO. I tend to be submissive, but my GLady wants me to be all Male.

[DeeInGeorgia]

Submissive here.

Dee

[Tamatha]

I am usually submissive :o unless I am in control :D and then I am the agressive; unless I am being submissive but only when I am not the aggressive. Somtime I am the observant and then I feel a little naughty:devil: LOL LOL LOL

[Sugar01]

Sub here. But it doesn't neccessarily always mean sexually. Heck, I've been to a few weddings where that phrase is actually part of the cermony; "Wives, submit to your husbands..."

[Tina B.]

No way would anyone think of me as being submissive, not in my male life, and not in my female form, never been one to take much guff from anyone, and never did know how to back down from a disagreement.
But then I really can't think of any women role models in my live that would make me think there is any reason to be, I grew up being taugh Men and women are equal, and the only thing that works is mutual agreement.
And i grew up before the womens lib movment
Tina B.

[Rachel Morley]

It's funny, but when I'm at work, I'm (fairly) assertive. I have to be it's a managerial skill that I have to employ from time to time to get the job done.

However, at home, and especially where my crossdressing is concerned, my wife is very much in charge. What can I say? ... I'm married to a bossy woman who likes her partner to be feminine and who thinks crossdressing is fun. I'll leave the rest you your imagination :D :o

[Karren H]

Thats not a little bitchy Karen

No little about it!!! hehe

Love Karren

[Roxi Loh]

I don't like to be submissive nor do I like to domme. I like to be a girl and act like a girl with other gg's or tg's. I get this question all the time. I can roll play as either but it is not a turn on for me.

[cdlaura2007]

I have to admit that I'm very submissive. I think the only thing better than wearing women's clothing is being tied up while wearing women's clothes.

[nikisbest]

I am totally submisve. Would let my wife treat me as she wants. She could say, or do anything she wants to me. I am her belonging as I look at it. I love her so much that I have nothing but her. How she treats me is a show of love and every bruse would be a badge of honor, every kiss a show of love.
She is my everything and I am hers to do with as she pleases.

The only time I can't be sub is when I am at work, I guess that is why
I like to be submissive. I have to be dominate at work, so love the submissive time.

[Bethany Ann]

Yes I turn into a submissive little thing when I dress...when Im not, Im all guy!

Bethany

[Bethany Ann]

I have to admit that I'm very submissive. I think the only thing better than wearing women's clothing is being tied up while wearing women's clothes.

Oh yes I have to agree...a roll of duct tape and a big fluffy bed and I could be in heaven...I love the struggle. I have rolls of bow ribbon (Pink, red, satin, sparkely...everything) I love to play with...who says you cant keep a good girl down obviously never spent a night with me.

Bethany

[bobbie_francis]

Mmmmm, Yes I am definitely submissive. Even more so when I am in fem mode.

bobbie

[lilsissy]

I am definitely submissive when dressed. Like many others, I am assertive in my career, but slipping into a pretty sexy outfit allows me to drop the facade and be myself.

[Kali]

I guesss I need to amend my entry here; I would consider myself sexually submissive to my SO when I'm dresssed. In all other aspects I remain my dominant, aggressive self, regardless of attire.

[caryn m]

sorry to disagree but marriage is a 50 /50 deal dressed or not both have equal rights and equal responsibalitys. at least till she says otherwise.

[loki_uk]

I think I'm naturally submissive and it's a trait thats seperate from my CD'ing, I don't see it as a feminine trait it's just part of me

[suchacutie]

I am really surprised at the general flow of the responses. Tina is feminine, and in her mind that is anything BUT submissive :).....

tina

[Lanore]

I'm single, but totally submissive in just about everything I do and love it.

Lanore

[JenniferMint]

What is the opinion of everyone that CD'ers tend to take the submissive role in a relationship. I read this somewhere and wanted to see if it has any merit?

I'm submissive when it comes to relationships. This probably makes it harder for me to find a girlfriend, if a prospective girlfriend is expecting me to initiate something with her and doesn't make a move on me!

[Peggy55]

Wow looks like the submissives have it by a long shot so far. By the way....When dressed I would be very submissive as well!

[IceMaiden]

Sometimes my SO is submissive when dressed, but a lot of the time he is very dominant. We kind of feed off each others moods sexually so either way is good.

[tightsgirl]

WRONG!!!!!!! I'm outgoing and semi-agressive, no matter how I'm dressed!!!

Love Karren

I'd have to agree I tend to be very dominating in relationships, but I am also psychotic and a sociopath:bow:

[melissaK]

I seek to neither control others nor to let others control me. So, I am independent? As a child I had no control over so many decisions my parents and school authorities made that hurt me, I don't trust anyone easily.

If the yardstick is the S&M bondage world, I don't like giving up ultimate control and would rather tie or spank than be tied or spanked. But I don't enjoy being in a dom role either. I don't want the responsibility of you . . .

If the yardstick is henpecking or nagging, then I am neither dominant nor submissive. I won't put my wants ahead of my spouses without discussing it. But I expect the same in return. Like TinaB's comments, equality rules the day. I won't stay in a relationship where this isn't the rule.

If the yardstick is how I follow institutional rules, then I am passive aggressive. I don't draw attention to my disagreement with the rule, and I find a way to avoid or get around it and do what I want to do.

Hugs,
'lissa

[kassi]

sorry to disagree but marriage is a 50 /50 deal dressed or not both have equal rights and equal responsibalitys.


i agree w/caryn. sometimes the decision is brit's and sometimes it's mine it just depends on the situation

[dancinginthedark]

No definitive link. At least not at my house. Ok sometimes in erm certain cough-sexual-cough situations :dom: Enough said

[LanceTrish]

I am submisive by nature and in all relationships rather it is Trish or Lance. Infact thats how I ended up finaly embracing Trish instead of hiding her and denying her. All my reltaionships are D/s.
Trish

[MsJanessa]

Actually in case you couldn't tell from My previous posts and avatar photo I'm totally Dominant when dressed. Once I put on My makeup, teased hair, silks, satins and leathers I have a remarkable sensation of absolute power and I love to assert it over others. :dom:

[Tree GG]

In social settings (parties, restaurants, any gathering) he's always been submissive (almost painfully shy). When it's just him, me and the kids - we're closer to 50/50 with him getting the tie breaking vote so he's a bit more dominant. I really haven't noticed any difference when he's dressed.

[Lisa Golightly]

I have all the submissive tendencies of Sauron...

[subcd]

I am totally submissive when dressed.

[Angela E.]

Normally I enjoy being submissive,but sometimes I like to be the agressor.:devil: :heehee: Angela.:rose2: :GE: :rose2:

[sherell]

I have to admit that I'm very submissive. I think the only thing better than wearing women's clothing is being tied up while wearing women's clothes.

Tied in womens clothes gets my vote

[Kelsy]

Normally I enjoy being submissive,but sometimes I like to be the agressor.:devil: :heehee: Angela.:rose2: :GE: :rose2:

:iagree:

Jennifer:happy:

[Colleentg]

I was always basically submissive. These days, I'm only sub to men and women, but not to other CDs/TGs.

"Hey, bring that corset back you borrowed"!

[Casey Morgan]

What is the opinion of everyone that CD'ers tend to take the submissive role in a relationship.

In a RELATIONSHIP (which is different than during intimacy), I would have to say that's most probably an overgeneralization. I would think the numbers would be fairly equal for CDs and non-CDs. And don't forget, topping from the bottom, which some CDs seem to be doing, isn't really the same as being submissive. It looks like many CDs enjoy being temporarily in the submissive role, which is more akin to bottoming. But when the fun is over, I believe you're looking at a different dynamic.

Submissive or dominant (or switch) is who you are "at rest". Being submissive only when you're dressed is like being into men (no pun intended) when you're dressed: it either seems to indicate a switch tendency or it's just part of the "fantasy". And these submissive or dominant tendencies, stripped of much of the meaning from "that community" (no offense intended, else I'd be offending myself), boils down to this: are you her/his pilot (dominant) or do you prefer to be the wind beneath her/his wings (submissive)?

This should also not be confused with stereotypical gender roles. Assuming female gender roles doesn't make one submissive, and assuming male gender roles doesn't make one dominant.

So when you take all of that into consideration, I wouldn't expect the number of CDs who take the submissive role in a relationship to be significantly different than the number of non-CDs who take the submissive role.

[linnea]

I have submissive and dominant tendencies at various times. I'm not wishy-washy; my attitude varies with the circumstances and my mood.
SO THERE!!! (if that's all right).

[Adrienne Heels]

Definitely submissive

[Maureen Henley]

I am naturally a laid-back, consensus-orineted person. When dressed, I try to be as submissive as my wife will let me be (not very - she says she doesn't want the job of boss). So my submissiveness is mostly in my mind/fantasies. As a few stated before, the only thing better than being en femme is being in bondage en femme.

[Madeleine]

What do you want me to be?

Love - Maddie:hugs:

[Cyndi06]

I suppose at some point we are all submissive.

I for one am, how else do you think she got me to the alter :devil:

But seriously our relationship is built on trust, mutual respect and an understanding of each other. But I suppose the short answer is, occasionally yes.


Kind of fits our relatinship

"I chased her ...until she caught me"

[Deidra Cowen]

I'm not very submissive at all. Very outgoing and like to be assertive...even when dressed. Have told this story before but one of my Tgirl friends here in Atlanta told me she chatted with a guy that had been flirting with me just a bit earlier. He told her I "scared him!" due to my crazy assertive personality. I got a kick out of that.


By the way, two GGs I dated were into that bondage stuff...I would be the dom with them. Never done the sub thingy. :tongueout

Anyway of course you can be a chick but still be confident and in control! I see a good number of GGs like that. Always admire that.

[Elsia]

Yes I would have to say I am submissive when dressed, and look foward to it.

Just love being tied up.

[Kimberly]

I would say I am submissive, deep down. Quite a lot, whist en femme and in company I'm quite outspoken, flirty and outgoing - probably a defence mecanism. x

[BobbieCD1944]

Sounds like a contradiction. I don't feel that my crossdressing desires have much to do with my being a submissive. Can make for all sorts of fun though, given the right GG partner.

I had known about my crossdressing and fetish desires for years. Heck, I began to notice in my preteen years. Was married for close to 30 years. In the early 90's, after the separation and divorce, I began to explore more about who and what I was. No doubt, I'm a submissive and a masochist. Thank goodness for the good kink people in the SFBay area and kink aware therapists.

On the other hand, I am not a whimp or doormat. I could not, will not, begin a relationship with a woman who is not a dominant and I would not get into a relationship with one who is domineering. There is a difference. I gave up using the alternative personals a few years ago. Seems I don't match what many of the "dommes" were looking for. I'm too alpha, too independent.

[Roxi Loh]

I am not submissive at all when dressed...or otherwise. There are times when I would role play as a submissive but if it gets too demeaning I react very aggressively. I like to be in control...but do not have domme tendencies. I just want to enjoy being a gurl.

[btmgrl6]

personally I like to be submissive....let someone else take control for a while.it's a relief from the everyday struggle. let someone else make the decisions now and then.in the real world I'm in control of me.

[RobertaFermina]

Roberta does not submit *EVER*......unless she chooses to :tongueout

[femvirgin]

I defiantly prefer being the submissive one in relationships and most activities. I like other people to take charge and have there way with me. I enjoy being lead. That being said there is always a line and if someone crosses that line they will know about it and know not to cross it again. I am capable of changing my attitude quite fast when someone goes too far. Also if asked am quite upfront with what I would consider to far.

I almost never want to be the dominant one but I also like to make other people happy and if that mean playing a dominant role once in a blue moon I can handle that.

[racquel]

Oh ya.As Maxwell Smart would say"and loving it".;)

[Girlieboy]

Why not, indeed! As the old saying goes, "whatever floats your boat". Good luck to you in whatever you love to do!

:hugs:

Diane

[Glamourgirl GG]

Yes my husband does unfortunately. I would rather do that, but oh well. There is absolutely nothing exciting about me having to be the dominate one. Yuck.

[MsJanessa]

[QUOTE=Glamourgirl GG;779282]Yes my husband does unfortunately. I would rather do that, but oh well. There is absolutely nothing exciting about me having to be the dominate one. Yuck.[/QUOTE To each her own Darling--I can't imagine Myself in a sub role but love being a Domme:dom:

[Marcie Sexton]

When we got married 20 years ago the minister told us a marriage was a 50-50 proposition...that during our life time would drift as far as a 90-10 relationship, but in the end all would equal out and remain a 50-50 relationship...that is pretty much how we still are...with Mr. drab and marcie...

besides, I'm the boss of my house :rolleyes: because she says I can be...

not hen pecked, just hen house ways....:heehee:

[Chloe Jean]

I am very submissive. Love being under the control of a Dom woman.
She can make all the decisions
Amelia-

[maidvicky]

Very Submissive-being 6'7" in heels seems to exciting for my girlfriend !!!

Or maybe it's the whole maid on a leash thing .........LOLOL

[JoAnnDallas]

In someways my wife is the dominate one and in someways I am the dominate one. When it comes to the household, finiances, and such, she is the dominate. When it comes to the yard, outside activities, socializing, I am usaully the dominate. Since she does not know about my fem side, I would not even guess as to how that would fit in.

[Mariah]

I'm aggressive =D but he is Submissive, Wierd how we are so diffrent lol.

hopes to you all
keris

[Glamourgirl GG]

To each her own Darling--I can't imagine Myself in a sub role but love being a Domme:dom:

True, but I am a genetic female which by many "stereotypes" is usually the submissive one. I assume you are still genetically male which by most stereotypes is dominant. So that testosterone and your desire to be a dominatrix semi go hand in hand...or hand in whip. :heehee:

[Tiffany Tuesday]

So when you take all of that into consideration, I wouldn't expect the number of CDs who take the submissive role in a relationship to be significantly different than the number of non-CDs who take the submissive role.

I agree with all of your post Casey and would take it further:

CD's I believe are no more submissive in reality and possibly less so than other men or women generally. However many of us do, or have when younger fantasised about submission, predominantly to a woman for a number of reasons.

Due to imposed feelings of guilt it may be a sub-concious excuse as to why we like to cross dress, certainly there is an abundance of "forced to dress" scenarios in CD fiction and fantasies. Then too, to be the submissive takes the pressure off having to perform successfully in the masculine sexual role. So there may be a form of stess release. And adopting a submissive role also fits a preconceived stereotype of the female.

Once you have explored such fantasies in reality things become clearer. The exploration is amazing fun both as submissive and dominant but it did not change me either way. It did emphasise that for me being a woman is empowering, possibly because that is how i feel inside but also because openly being who i really am gives me strength and confidence.

I would like to be dominated in role play more often as I genuinely enjoy being fully submissive but I am strong willed and need to respect the dominant for it to work. Most often i am either asked or through boredom assume the role of dominatrix and have discovered a rather sadistic delight in chastising and humiliating submissives to entertain a crowd. The peculiar thing is, as you so succinctly put Casey, most so called Submissives are ironically "dominant bottoms".

The roles of dominatrix and submissive are by mutual agreement and more delicious when about power games and assumed humiliation than mere corporal punishment. There is fun in giving vent to both sides of your character. For me submission or domination is purely role play fun, an entertainment and nothing to do with my reality. It is a very minor part of my life but great fun when the right circumstances arise.

[Hali]

when am in DRAG even MY thinking Faculty some how reduces in the presence of MEN even in the surrounding areas not even close to me but wen close to me; hey sometimes i cant even TALK just to show how lost i become and of course submissive.

[Eugenie]

I'm not submissive at all, that is in the sense of S&M.

However I admit that when I'm "en femme" I would completely abandon myself to a gentleman who would have the qualities required to seduce a lady.

He would have to be charming and well educated, give me the feeling that I am the only woman that counts for him. Then, and only then, I would fulfill all his desires...

But that is just a fantazy... I haven't had the opportunity to be in this situation nor did I seek it...
:hugs:
Eugenie

[joaniieann]

Well I enjoy not being in charge and having to make decision after decision. Just lead me along!

[Nicole]

Wow Tiffany, you are very beautiful! I am just getting started and your photos give me much needed inspiration. I need at least a year to get caught up (though I am very proud of my eyes)!

Excuse me for diverting the topic. When it comes to submissive or dominant behavior, I like both. I enjoy experiencing the whole gamut with equal intensity. Now that I am CD'ing again, naturally I am very submissive right now and will probably stay that way for a while. I need to be soft and care for myself right now. But in the future I can see myself having days of being an 'assured' and 'confident' woman as well.

My basic personality is to be giving whether en femme or not, so if I had to choose only one it would be submissive. I am glad I can switch though, because some days it is the only way to get through in one piece. :devil:

[yingyang]

:heehee: If there is respect and trust, bring on a big dom! Or, I do know what's right most of the time, so if you want/need, trust me. My problem is trusting. I don't really know. I'm alone. :o

[johnnaisacd]

My wife and I switch. For us, its all roll play and a fantastic way to relive stress. So if you have not tried it, go for it, It's lots of fun.

[MsJanessa]

I agree with all of your post Casey and would take it further:

CD's I believe are no more submissive in reality and possibly less so than other men or women generally. However many of us do, or have when younger fantasised about submission, predominantly to a woman for a number of reasons.

Due to imposed feelings of guilt it may be a sub-concious excuse as to why we like to cross dress, certainly there is an abundance of "forced to dress" scenarios in CD fiction and fantasies. Then too, to be the submissive takes the pressure off having to perform successfully in the masculine sexual role. So there may be a form of stess release. And adopting a submissive role also fits a preconceived stereotype of the female.

Once you have explored such fantasies in reality things become clearer. The exploration is amazing fun both as submissive and dominant but it did not change me either way. It did emphasise that for me being a woman is empowering, possibly because that is how i feel inside but also because openly being who i really am gives me strength and confidence.

I would like to be dominated in role play more often as I genuinely enjoy being fully submissive but I am strong willed and need to respect the dominant for it to work. Most often i am either asked or through boredom assume the role of dominatrix and have discovered a rather sadistic delight in chastising and humiliating submissives to entertain a crowd. The peculiar thing is, as you so succinctly put Casey, most so called Submissives are ironically "dominant bottoms".

The roles of dominatrix and submissive are by mutual agreement and more delicious when about power games and assumed humiliation than mere corporal punishment. There is fun in giving vent to both sides of your character. For me submission or domination is purely role play fun, an entertainment and nothing to do with my reality. It is a very minor part of my life but great fun when the right circumstances arise.


Hmmm---do you ever travel to New England Tiffany?:dom:

[MsJanessa]

True, but I am a genetic female which by many "stereotypes" is usually the submissive one. I assume you are still genetically male which by most stereotypes is dominant. So that testosterone and your desire to be a dominatrix semi go hand in hand...or hand in whip. :heehee:

That's true but one weird thing is when I feel the most feminine I also feel the most dominant at the same time---go figure:doll: :dom:

[Tiffany Tuesday]

I am really delighted that my piccies have encouraged you ThirtyFT, thank you for making me feel good. Having lovely eyes is a real bonus girl .. they say the eyes are the window to the soul!

Sadly Ms Janessa i have never been to New England nor any reason to go :( Although i believe in the Fall it is truly beautiful. x

[Peggy55]

Wow I haven't been to this thread in some time and I'm glad to see all the responses! I think the submissives still have it! On that topic I was wondering something else.....at least with me, not having an s/o since before my dressing days which started last year I can only speculate I'd be submissive although I think 99% in my mind that would be the case.

I was wondering if my submissiveness is somewhat played out in the fact that I find tight, spandex, girdles etc to be my favorite things to dress in (I'm in the closet so most of my dressing revolves around undergarments, stockings, garters etc.) I find the feeling of being bound....not tied up...but bound in support garments is my Fav!

Anyone else?

[Casey Morgan]

I would say it's possible Peggy. I haven't gotten that feeling from undergarments but I know it's partially why I like to sleep with my sheets and blankets wrapped around me. It's like a big giant hug to go, or maybe not go. :D

[Regina girl]

Love to be submissive but So is not to keen on me as such, For me when dressed up as a woman would love to be treated as one by her as 90% i am the man:D But she is still cool:hugs:
Regina

[KristyCD]

When I dress I feel submissive - that is sexually submissive like a ****

[JenniferR771]

I am submissive to my domineering wife. 28 years.

She hates my cding. But...

In my fantasy life i enjoy the idea and stories of men forced to dress. Also like bondage stories.

[Lovely Rita]

As Rita I have to admit that I am very submissive.

[nancyfenfem]

i am not submissive and straight when in my male role. i have the occasion to meet a man I know that likes me to dress. When we meet I dress very sexy for him and become very submissive. My goal is for him to be in charge and for me to please him. It makes it interesting for me knowing that there is a man that can call me and I respond with wanting to do as he says.

[KatieZ]

I'm no longer married, but when I was, I was only dominant at work. At home she called me katie and i called her Mistress.

"Are you a real man katie?"
"No Mistress"
"What are you katie?"
"i'm your little sissy Mistress"

Sure miss that.

[AERIN]

This girl is very independent, not a bone of sub in her.