My Hairy Security Blanket

[CaptLex]

Been scratching my head for a few days about my new chin hair. Basically, I like it. Not only do I like the way it looks, but I'm really happy that I get called "ma'am" a lot less with it, although that still hasn't stopped completely (believe it or not, Kieron). My problem is that I know when I go see my mom it'll have to come off again. My cousin and I joked about my wearing a surgical mask and telling her I have a cold, but I know that's not feasible, so I'll have to shave it when the time comes, and that's bumming me out. So far I've been able to hide behind the excuse that I'm recuperating at home, but sooner or later I'll have to see her in person and I'm dreading that day. My therapist thinks that the situation is hindering my transition (mentally), but he understands why I feel I have to continue to hide it from Mom. I really can't tell her, and I really can't let her see me like this or she'll freak out. There's more to it, but that's the bottom line. I guess I'm not really looking for advice 'cause there's nothing that can be done - I just wanted to get that off my chest. :sad:

[kerrianna]

Sorry you have to shave it Captain, but hopefully it will grow back better afterward, although I guess as long as you're seeing your mom it will have to keep coming off. Hmmm, can see why you're scratching your head about it.

I have all sorts of dumb explanations (most of which will make her think you have lost your marbles :rolleyes: ) you could use...but since you didn't ask for advice (especially dumb advice :o ) I'll just give you some hugs.
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[pocoyo]

AWww Cap.
Erm, maybe you could wear a scarf wrapped around your neck and tucked over your chin a bit and say you have a sore throat lol!
Ooor a really high turtleneck!
Erm then again...

I will give you some hugs too... :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Hope you manage to sort something out.
But hey like kez says perhaps it will grow back stronger :D

[bi_weird]

*hug* Yeah that's a conundrum, no better way to put it. Sorry that it looks like you're gonna have to shave.

[CaptLex]

Sorry you have to shave it Captain, but hopefully it will grow back better afterward, although I guess as long as you're seeing your mom it will have to keep coming off. Hmmm, can see why you're scratching your head about it.
Yeah, that's the problem . . . I can grow it back, but then I'll have to keep taking it off again. :p


I have all sorts of dumb explanations (most of which will make her think you have lost your marbles :rolleyes: )
They can't be any crazier than the ones my cousin and I already thought of. I think my favorite one is he said I should tell her I glued it on to play a pirate in a play - and it won't come off now! :heehee:

Thanks for the hugs, guys. I'll get through it, I know. At least I'm enjoying it while it lasts. :D

[pocoyo]

I glued it on to play a pirate in a play - and it won't come off now! :heehee:

HAHAAA!!! hahahahaha! Oh hahaha!
That's fantastic!!! (Wahaha I think I must have taken some happy pills because I found that soooo amusing LOL).

[Kate Simmons]

HAHAAA!!! hahahahaha! Oh hahaha!
That's fantastic!!! (Wahaha I think I must have taken some happy pills because I found that soooo amusing LOL).Er--yeah, Poc, I had to laugh because you laughed. We seem to have some interesting dilemmas, don't we? My wife got mad at me once for a whole week because I shaved my legs.:doh:

[kerrianna]

They can't be any crazier than the ones my cousin and I already thought of. I think my favorite one is he said I should tell her I glued it on to play a pirate in a play - and it won't come off now! :heehee:
:D

:heehee: That actually is EXACTLY one of the ideas I had! To the letter!

I was also going to suggest you tell her the doctors diagnosed a strange non-threatening condition and advised you it would be dangerous to remove it. :D

Glad you are enjoying it for now. Probably stroking it while musing on a possible solution. It does make you think better you know...which might explain why I've gotten thick-headed lately...:rolleyes:
:hugs:

[Abraxas]

Probably stroking it while musing on a possible solution.

AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

:lol2:

Strokey-beard meeting.

:lol2:


*dons serious expression*

Sorry, had to.

[CaptLex]

Glad you are enjoying it for now. Probably stroking it while musing on a possible solution.
:OMG: Have you been spying on me?

[Kate Simmons]

:OMG: Have you been spying on me?Nah, It's a natural thing Cap. When I have whiskers, I can't keep my hands off off them. A "guy" thing, you know?:happy:

[Dasein9]

Just wondering... What would be the worst thing that could happen if she did "freak out? "

[sparks]

As part of the hairy Yettie type thing I've got going on I only shave the whiskers about once a week. I would shave all the time if I was allowed to shave the body hair as well.
But it's even colder around here if i shave my legs. The wife gets a whole lot more distant.
But Cap...Once ya start shaving it becomes a chore. I only look forward to changing up the sideburns.

BAHH! Long live the goat.

[Teresa Amina]

I really can't tell her, and I really can't let her see me like this or she'll freak out

Don't know how quick your voice is changing but you won't be able to hide that forever. Very Tough. Potential parental response kept me bottled up for years, but you're on your way now, no point in stopping. Just a matter of choosing how and when.

[Lisa Golightly]

Still, the more you shave the thicker it will grow... ;)

[Kieron Andrew]

Don't know how quick your voice is changing but you won't be able to hide that forever. Very Tough. Potential parental response kept me bottled up for years, but you're on your way now, no point in stopping. Just a matter of choosing how and when.
Teresa is right....you mum might be old and frail but she could last years yet, therefore is going to see you through all the physical and emotional changes, i.e voice changing, skin changing, muscle defining......hair growth...you are not going to be able to hide all of these things forever, you need to tell her in a way she will understand and in my mind......soon, you've already told her things in a way she will understand maybe now whilst you have the goatee is the time to take the bull by the horns so to speak

[CaptLex]

Just wondering... What would be the worst thing that could happen if she did "freak out? "


Don't know how quick your voice is changing but you won't be able to hide that forever. Very Tough. Potential parental response kept me bottled up for years, but you're on your way now, no point in stopping. Just a matter of choosing how and when.


you are not going to be able to hide all of these things forever, you need to tell her in a way she will understand and in my mind......soon, you've already told her things in a way she will understand maybe now whilst you have the goatee is the time to take the bull by the horns so to speak

I don't want to go into all the reasons why it would be a really bad idea to tell her, but trust me on this. I really wish I could. I wish I could sit down and explain it all and finally make that anxiety go away, but I know without a doubt that telling her the whole truth (and not just the little fairy tale I concocted for her) would have serious and damaging consequences - and not just for me. It's not just that i don't want to go against her beliefs or that I don't want to disappoint her - I've done enough of that all my life. There's so much more to it.

Yeah, she could be around for a while yet - I've considered that. And, believe it or not, she hasn't really noticed the voice difference - probably because she's very hard of hearing and when I raise my voice so she'll hear me, it also makes my voice sound higher. The day may come when I'll change my mind, damn it all to hell and take the plunge, but I really can't foresee that day. Meanwhile, I consider shaving a necessary compromise.

BTW, Sparks, I consider shaving my face far less of a chore than I did shaving my legs. ;)

[dancinginthedark]

Capt pardon me for butting in but as a mother myself I wanted to say something your own mother may never say simply because she'll never know, "Thanks" You've put love & another's welfare first. I see your actions as a true gift of love. Your mother may never know what you are doing for her but I do. :hugs: and more :hugs: for being so wonderfully loving and compassionate. I think your decision while hard is the right one for you.

BTW don't worry overly much about Mom noticing all the coming changes in you. Folks tend to see what they expect to see. Mom expects to see her daughter. IMO no matter what you do that is what she will see. Mothers' see with their hearts hun not their eyes. Chances are pretty good if she did notice a few chin hairs or whiskers even she'd think they were due to hormonal changes from the change of life. Heck my sister-in-law has to shave now and that's every day because of all the facial hair she got after going through an early menopause after an emergency hysterectomy. Just my :2c: take what you can and leave the rest.

dancin

[pocoyo]

Capt pardon me for butting in but as a mother myself I wanted to say something your own mother may never say simply because she'll never know, "Thanks" You've put love & another's welfare first. I see your actions as a true gift of love. Your mother may never know what you are doing for her but I do. :hugs: and more :hugs: for being so wonderfully loving and compassionate. I think your decision while hard is the right one for you.

dancin

:cry: :cry: :cry:

[Kate Simmons]

Besides everything else, I just want to say enjoy your whiskers while you can Cap. Just knowing you can grow them gives you confidence and empowerment. I know it sounds silly but I was thinking about the three little pigs. When the wolf knocked on the door and demanded to come in, the pigs said:"Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin" which tells me they were stroking it and coming up with strategy. This is kind of what guys do as well and I'll tell ya, while many M T F's diss this, it does indeed mean a lot. I'm just talking from experience and have decided to enjoy being Rich for awhile. That having been said, I'll be looking at the experiences here by the guys in a new light. In any case, I've taken the advice and have decided to re-explore and possibly re-define my guy side. Don't be surprised if I learn something from you guys in your journies because essentially I'm opening back up the old "deer path" in my own life. Looks to be somewhat exciting, I figure.;) :happy:

[Kieron Andrew]

In any case, I've taken the advice and have decided to re-explore and possibly re-define my guy side.
Hmmm! you mean you actually listened to what i was saying!:D

[Kate Simmons]

Hmmm! you mean you actually listened to what i was saying!:DI always listen to you, my friend.:happy:

[John]

Damn. Ah well, as is life. At least you can grow it back again.

Make the most of the situation and try a few diferent stiles while shaving it off. That way, if they look good you can grow them again, and if they look abismal, they're going anyway.

[CaptLex]

Capt pardon me for butting in but as a mother myself I wanted to say something your own mother may never say simply because she'll never know, "Thanks" You've put love & another's welfare first.
You're not butting in, Mae, I welcome your help and advice. Thanks for putting it that way . . . you're right, I'm transitioning for me and damn everything else, but in her case, I can't be that cavalier. I would never want to do anything to cause her any harm, so some of my issues have to take a back seat.


Chances are pretty good if she did notice a few chin hairs or whiskers even she'd think they were due to hormonal changes from the change of life.
Actually, she knows that all the females on my father's side also have to shave because of excess male hormones, and that I've inherited that. What she wouldn't understand is why I'm not shaving it off - why I'd rather let it grow.


Just my :2c: take what you can and leave the rest.
It's all good advice, and it's worth a lot more than that. So, you'll send me a bill . . . ? ;)

Poc, please don't cry. :itsok: :kiss:

Salandra, I'm glad you're exploring more of your male side again. Love the three little pigs comparison. :happy:

Kieron, dude . . . I always listen to you. You have a simple, no BS way of looking at things that cuts right down to the heart of the matter. It helps me see what's important.

Joshua, I love your advice. I think I will experiment while I can. Right now it's still fun (I'm like a kid with a new toy) - I hope it never gets old.

[kerrianna]

Joshua, I love your advice. I think I will experiment while I can. Right now it's still fun (I'm like a kid with a new toy) - I hope it never gets old.

You'll know when it gets old - it turns white. :sad:
Then you look like Colonel Saunders. :sigh:

actually I can see you as a southern gentleman, sitting on your verandah, stroking your white beard and musing on how hot the day is.

[CaptLex]

actually I can see you as a southern gentleman, sitting on your verandah, stroking your white beard and musing on how hot the day is.

With a mint julep . . . saying, "frankly, my dear". :lol2: Just as long as nobody mistakes me for Santa Claus.

[Kate Simmons]

Ya know Cap, sometimes I think I'm overlooking the obvious here. Your musings about stroking your whiskers really got me thinking about just how important that is to me. Gets me to thinking why I always held out by insisting to be a tomboy as my femme self. Guess I really don't want to let that go and really do appreciate my masculine side. I'm not trying to hijack your thread but just thinking out loud here. Maybe this "vacation" from being "her" is just what I need for some insight. It may sound strange but with the adventures you guys are having, I'm re-discovering just what it's like to be a guy and am enjoying it immensely. I think this is in line with my goal of being a more rounded person. As Alice would say:"curiouser and curiouser". I'm wondering just how may other M T F's would be willing to be honest with themselves and do the same thing?:happy: