Eeek! What do I do? Meeting them on Saturday

[pocoyo]

Oh no... oh no...

I'm meeting up with "The possible biological Dad" and "The possible half brother" on Saturday for the 1st time in like 3 years or something.

I will have my mum with me for back up... so that's good but...

Oh I really don't know how to present myself.
I am so fed up & confused because one the one hand I just want to run and have my hair cut in a proper boy's style to show that I make a good boy too (not just "Mr Perfect"...the brother hehe) and feel a little less inadequate that way.

But I am also torn because perhaps it would all be a bit weird and awkward if I was presenting as a boy and maybe I should let their lasting memory of me ('til they see me again) be as a girl.

I think I will be so frustrated and grumpy seeing the half brother being all manly and perfect though. Especially as last time I saw him he was basically a little boy and looked and sounded it (he's just turned 18 but looks more like 28 in the recent photos I've seen!)

AND... as a lot of you know, I am currently doing The Great Experiment at the moment, (where I try and think about gender a bit less and try being a girl) to see how it feels to me and to be kind to others for a while and let them be all happy 'cos I'm being a girl.

This week I was thinking "Oh well.. I might not have to do it for too long now as my hair is quite long and I do look girly and more like my 'old self' now."
But my mum today was saying my hair ISn't that long and that she would like it to grow for about another year... A YEARRR???!!!! Aarrgh. Oh man. That was so discouraging.
I told her I'm so sorry but I won't be able to keep growing it for a year.
Then I suggested I get hair extensions and she said no to that too (because it's expensive & she thinks I can't afford it. plus a bunch of other (negative) reasons).

So on the one hand I want to get my hair cut tomorrow to help me be more boyish on Saturday. But also I'm not even sure it is the right thing to present boyishly on Saturday. Perhaps I should go as the prettiest girl I can be, to show that I can at least do one thing well.

If I do run out and get my hair cut tomorrow that will just put the "finding out if it's right being a girl" off even longer :angry: and I want to get it over and done with.

And as my mum pointed out "every time you get your hair nearly long, you run and get it cut again" and I have been promising to grow it & do think I need to, in order to find stuff out.

Mum did say that lots of boys have long hair. But having long hair actually hinders my passing I think, because I have some quite girly features, so people wouldn't look at me and see a boy, they'd always see a girl.


OOOOH help!! What do I do?


P.S. That avatar <--- is me a few years ago with long hair. It's not that long now haha. I just thought I would be brave and have a bit of a girly pic as my avatar as I'm "being good" and being girly! (Also, the pout reflects my current mood :p)

[Kimberley]

Pocs, just be your usual zany self. NO ONE could ask for more or less. Just be Pocs. Dress down and baseball cap, hair up etc etc. You know the drill.

I KNOW you will do just fine. You want to know about them as much as they do about you and WHO SAYS you have to get into gender issues on the first crack. Nahhhhh. Just relax and enjoy yourself.

:hugs: :love: :hugs: :love: :hugs:
Kimberley

[pocoyo]

Here is me with hair in 2 bunches (took this photo a couple nights ago), and the kind of haircut I wanna run out and get.... (just so you can envisage what I'm talking about).

[pocoyo]

Do what, kind sir. Wait till saturday, and invite your brother to spend time with you while youre having your hair cut. This way you'll accomplish both goals and will have time for some male bonding. Well, maybe you'll go play ball or something afterwards....

Ahh.. it's probaby wrong, but I like your long haired pic. much.

Haha! I think I will be a bit too shy to ask him to come to get my hair cut.
Hmm, I'm not even sure if I want to bond with him to be honest...
I don't really want to be part of that family, even though they are nice people. Aww it's ok, I kinda like the long haired pic too... but in a sort of "I'm crossdressing/playing dress up/having fun" way.
Thank you :happy:


Pocs, just be your usual zany self. NO ONE could ask for more or less. Just be Pocs. Dress down and baseball cap, hair up etc etc. You know the drill. I will try... but I will also be really REALLY shy around Mr Big and Bolchy and Mr Wonderful hahaha, how mean of me to refer to them like that. (It's ok.. I'd say that to their face):heehee:.
Hmm... I would dress down, but then I'll just end up as "androgynous frump" which I HATE. I'd rather look like either a coolish young boy (nearest I can get to handsome sexy dude right now) or an attractive girl (with no curves or boobs). I hate being androgynous frump.


I KNOW you will do just fine. Oh thank you. I hope so. My mum doesn't even want to go either lol!

You want to know about them as much as they do about you err.... hahaha there was a REASON I didn't speak to them for 3 years. Hehe.
I'm only meeting up with them because the "poss biodad" is moving to another country and asked to meet up.

and WHO SAYS you have to get into gender issues on the first crack.owhh :worried:... unfortunately I've already gone quite into depth about it talking on Skype with him (the poss bio dad). D'OH.. maybe I shouldn't have. But I was soo wanting to stop the feeling of inadequacy and say "Hey I'm a cool boy too...." But yeah, maybe we'll just ignore the whole gender thing. Ooh man I've just realised that it's likely I will be really emotional and possibly unpredictable on Saturday (due to pmt), and I just had an image of me crying or getting really angry and storming out :worried:

Nahhhhh. Just relax and enjoy yourself.
I'll try... :cry:

:hugs: :love: :hugs:
Kimberley
Thank you very much :love: :hugs: hehe xxx

[Kate Simmons]

Poc, Have a purpose in mind and just be yourself and don't be nervous. I'm sure you will do fine.:hugs: Sal

[bi_weird]

Dude Poc, you could try sexy-androgynous rather than frumpy. It's my favorite look, though it's too much work to do often. Think men's style women's clothing, things that are a bit tight (honest, I've started defining "girls clothes" as tight and "boys clothes" as loose...do ya spose that's bad?) but more in a masculine style. I usually do a women's button up shirt that's a little small and a tie, 'cause it gives me curves and yet, well, there's a tie there. Have you got boyish-cut girl pants? (My favorite 'cause it somewhat satisfies my Mom while still not being tight all over) Makeup that doesn't show at all helps - mascara isn't obvious, but works well. You'll end up fem, 'cause your body is female afterall, but I find it's boyish enough to make me feel like I'm not lying to the world, and it's definitely presenting as not-so-girly to people who have known you as a girl before. Honestly, I've seen gay guys around here wear the same sort of stuff, and it works for them too.
I would say don't cut your hair though. You seem determined to do this experiment, no use putting it off. Tie it back and pretend it's not there.
*HUG* You know what, though? Ignore all clothing advice. The day they show up, wake up and pull what will make YOU feel most comfortable out of the closet. If you're going to feel better playing a girl then find something tight and pink. If girl clothes will make you break out in hives, pull on the guy stuff and to heck with anyone who says otherwise. Don't compare yourself to Mr. Wonderful (yes I know that's impossible...try anyway?). Know that you're awesome the way you are, no matter how you choose to present. The key point being "choose to present". You're you no matter the clothes you're in, and while I do know the clothes make it feel different, the real you will still be there. Take a deep breath, promise yourself a treat afterwords, and know that you'll be fine.

[dancinginthedark]

Ok babe I'm in that kind of mood tonight, yeah full mommy mode, sorry Poc. :tongueout First you are wonderful no matter what mode you present. Ok, let me explain or try to: Poc you are always you inside. You are just you & nothing else is too terribly important right now especially clothes. Wear what ever makes you feel the best, not what you think/feel someone else will like. You have no reason to try to impress someone by being the best girl you can be. Or even to be the best guy you can be. There is no need to dress to impress some guy who may or may not be your biological father and a potential half-brother. They would be damn lucky to have you in the family not the other way around. They'd be lucky to have you in their life's. Understand? You aren't broken hun just a little confused right now that's all. We all get confused sometimes.

Just be you. Gender does not define you my dear. Souls don't have a gender do they? So who you are inside will always shine through. You are bright, lord you are so damn smart it is scary sometimes. You are compassionate, out going, wonderfully witty and have this sense of humor with just the right twist to make you interesting as all hell. Didn't you know that?

So you take a deep breath and then another and listen to your Auntie Mae. You are going to be fine. Think a moment with me will you? What is the very worse that can happen when you meet these guys? Maybe you get flustered and you get emotional. Maybe they do too. Play it through in your mind and practice in your mind how you'd like to be able to handle things. You'll feel more prepared and maybe be able to relax a little bit too.

What else could happen? They won't like you? It would hurt true but that would be their lose. I know you want to be liked and even loved but at what cost? Yourself? So they don't like you, guess what they don't even know you. Truth is one meeting will not let them see you Poc like all of us here can see you. They'll get a quick glimpse and if THEY are lucky they'll see you. And if they can see you hun really see who you are shining through they will want to know you and they will come to love you too.

I'll stop lecturing soon but listen: you know how you are always kind and compassionate and so insightful here with your friends? Well I know someone else who could use some of that TLC you are always doling out. Look in the mirror and give that someone looking back some of that love. You deserve it. Now if you don't mind too much get over here so I can hug you. :hugs:

Mae

[kerrianna]

Well...since you asked...you might not want to hear what I really think cuz I'm going against the grain here...but what I hear YOU wanting is....
CUT YOUR FREAKIN' HAIR AND GO AS YOU!

oops, sorry for yelling. It's just this experiment of yours, while a noble idea, seems more designed to please OTHERS and not you. The more I hear you talk about it the more clear it becomes that it ISN'T what you want to be doing...so stop it now...rattle everyone if that's what happens to them (even your poor mom...she will survive) and live your life for YOU.

You're the one who has to live your life, when you look in the mirror in the morning it won't be mom, or Mr Wonderful or Mr Big and Bolchy (lol, I HAVE to look that one up)...it will be YOU looking back.

I know it's easy for me to say, not having to actually be in your shoes, but your mom already knows what you desire, your poss.bio-dad already knows...so it's not like you'll be shocking the family with some great secret. If anything you may be confusing them, and yourself, more by waffling.

Maybe it's time to stop THIS experiment and try the next experiment - Pocs as Pocs wants to be. Everyone else please adjust your sets, because if they truly love Pocs (and they do I'm sure) they will find a way to accept what they can see as important to you.

I know part of your experiment is to see just HOW important being male is to you, but all your questions seem to contain the same directional pull under the surface. Maybe presenting in such a charged situation as a boy will actually give you a better idea of how right or wrong it is for you. If you basically say 'sod it, this is how I am' then you will have an opportunity to feel your strengths and weaknesses in that mindframe.

Maybe that's what you intend to do presenting as female, but what I'm reading from you is that you're almost 'pretending' to be female in this case. If you're going to do that why not really experiment and try out something YOU want to do. You already said you didn't care if you develop a relationship with them, so who cares what they think. Find out what YOU think. Besides your poss-bio-dad sounds open minded about it. And don't even think for a second of comparing yourself to Mr B&B because there will always be guys you can compare yourself to and feel you don't measure up (I know - I still do it -waste of time). Just be who YOU WANT TO BE and let the world take care of itself.

I know you have a very close relationship to your mom and don't want to hurt or embarass her so the only thing I'd suggest (because you can't live the rest of your life second guessing yourself) is that if you do decide to cut your hair and present, you give her plenty of warning and explain how IMPORTANT it is to you to do that. She will understand. She just needs to be given warning so she can get HER mind around that aspect of the meeting.

If you KNEW there were no repercussions, if I told you that whatever you did was going to be fine and dandy with everyone...what would you LIKE to do when you meet them?

I think you will have a cool time no matter what you do.
I'm sure no matter what, they will have been very glad to have met you. So I think you should use this as an opportunity to just be yourself how you want to be.

Okay, having said that whew! I understand if you decide to keep mom happy. But do think about your own happiness hun.
And listen to your Auntie Mae. She's right about everything she said about you. I get to give hugs right after her....hmmm.....she's still hugging....:whistling: ....
oh! My turn? Good! :hugs:

[Abraxas]

Whelp, boy-o, looks like you've gotten yerself into a pickle.
Normally I'd just say f*ck 'em, do what you want regardless, but I know fully well that it's never (especially, it seems, in this situation) that cut and dried.
I agree with what Bi said, though-- when you wake up in the morning, try to forget about what might happen and just do what your instinct tells you. If you feel like a boy that day, dress the part.
Being comfortable will make things easier and you'll be more able to deal with whatever happens. If you're already uncomfortable and something negative happens, you're less likely to respond to it well. At least, that's my feeling.

[Lisa Golightly]

I tend to find I only decide what to do on the day... Book an appointment (which you can cancel) and relax till saturday morning... Then when you get up and peer one eye open into the mirror with mad hair make your decision. :)

[Felix]

Hi Pocs well like I said before I tried to make ppl happy by growing my hair but it just screwed me up. In the end I just said right I'm havin it cut and I've never looked back. I think men with long hair is good you suit it :thumbsup: and I think ya pass fine bro!! I've just got back from my parents and for the first time in ages I had no nagging about my hair. I must admit I did go slightly more fem but it was only for like 24hrs so no harm done and I wasn't as stressed as I thought I would be. Just be you hun if ya think dressin down a bit on the first time might help then go for it. If ya want them to know ya as you the man then go for that. Just be you it will be fine hun :hugs: Go with ya gut instinct on the day! Well good luck hun and lets know how it goes xx Felix :hugs:

[pocoyo]

Awww thank you so much for your lovely replies! :D

You're all so nice. :love: :love: :hugs: :hugs:

Awww what wonderful people.
Still mulling the hair thing over. :thinking:
I love all your advice.

Btw I have met them before, but haven't seen them for like 3 years or so.
(Just incase you thought I meant meeting them for the 1st time).

Hmmm I do have a probable outfit to meet them in, but my mum says it's scruffy, (it's not). I'm like "Mum I do't care if it's scruffy...does it show curves is what I'm asking!" haha.

[Kate Simmons]

Go with your own feelings on what to wear Hon. I look at it this way, they have to know your feelings, your likes and dislikes sooner or later. Dress however YOU feel most comfortable. That way, you will be more at ease with the whole situation. No need to add to the stress really.:koc: :battingeyelashes:

[MJ]

hi poc
quote :- Perhaps I should go as the prettiest girl I can be, to show that I can at least do one thing well.
hey you do both very well, as you are doing the great experiment then the girl mode i think you should show your half brother just how hot you are in fem mode..
hugs Marissa

[pocoyo]

Thanks Sal :) :hugs: Good point!
Thanks MJ :) Haha! That probably sounded like I am vain or something when I said "one thing I can do well"... I sooo didn't mean it like that though!!!
I just meant "I can carry-off something that they know and like!" (being girly).


I'm feeling happier about it now and I think I have found the answer....

Weirdly (after talking to my mum on the phone for 40 minutes and whinging hahaha) I looked in the mirror, and my hair had gone into a cool unisex style of it's own accord! It's a sign I tells ya!
So I think I will go with my unisex hair and my unisex (curve-hiding) clothes lol.

Not sure what to do about make up. Might be fun to have Jack Sparrow type make up... but they probably wouldn't "see" it the way I do, and would just see it as girly make up I expect.

It's either "boy" make up or no make up I reckons... hmmm! :thinking:

[Kieron Andrew]

Not sure what to do about make up. Might be fun to have Jack Sparrow type make up... but they probably wouldn't "see" it the way I do, and would just see it as girly make up I expect.

It's either "boy" make up or no make up I reckons... hmmm! :thinking:
not all girls wear make up so you dont even have to bother if you dont want to i reckon

[Kate Simmons]

I think you look good in either mode, Poc, with little or no makeup. I, personally, wear very little these days even en femme as it's just too much work and I don't feel I have to fulfill anyone's "standards" anyway.:happy:

[CaptLex]

Wow, lots of good advice here - I think you'd all make great therapists. I don't want to repeat anything already said, 'cause everyone said it better, but I'd like to offer a different view in case it helps. Have you stopped to think about what they might be feeling about meeting you again after such a long time? They may be a bit nervous too. They may wonder what you'll think of them and how it will feel to share some time with you before they have to move away. It may not even have occurred to them that meeting with you may be causing you any anxiety (with or without gender presentation issues). They may just want to spend time with you and get to know you a little better, regardless of how you present. In other words, I'm guessing that however you dress or whether your hair is long or short, they just want to see and talk to you.

I agree with the idea of waiting to see what you feel like wearing when you wake up that day. Wearing what you feel most comfortable in will be the best way to accomplish feeling confident and relaxed (which is what I assume you want). Then put on your winning smile and say hello. Ask them questions about them, get to know them, let them know that you wish them well and that you appreciate the opportunity to see them again - that they wanted to spend some time with you. I think that's what they'll remember when they leave - not whether you look like a boy or a girl.

Regarding your long hair. I agree that if it's causing you stress, then it might be time to tell Mom that the experiment is over. That you now know how the long hair makes you feel, and you're not happy with it. I'm sure she'll object, but the bottom line is do it for you, nobody else. Otherwise, resentment can creep in, and that's a whole new bag of stress. Just my :2c:

Hope it goes well - please keep us posted. :hugs:

[Lisa Golightly]

TBH you're so lovable it really doesn't matter how you present yourself... You're infectuous... In a good way of course :)

[kerrianna]

TBH you're so lovable it really doesn't matter how you present yourself... You're infectuous... In a good way of course :)

:iagree:

sounds like you found a good course...the main thing is be yourself and enjoy the moment...:hugs:

[pocoyo]

Good point Kieron.. thanks dude!!
Hey Sal... that's really cool. :thumbsup:
Oh good one Lex :D Some things for me to think of there.
Thanks!
Awww Lisa.... :o Thank you. (Me thinks not though haha!)
Kez... Thank u!

************

Here is a link to a video of some of my unisex outfit possibilities for Saturday.
Should I wear one of these, or something completely different?
(I'm not allowed to wear my nice skater pants 'cos they are too scruffy and wide apparently).

Right so here is the link, but youtube stretches my videos.. so when the video starts
to watch it accurately please press the little "resize" button, as shown in pic below, then it should show at the right width.
(Even MY a*s isn't as wide as the stretched vid hahaha!)


[Edit... linky and viddy go bye bye!]


(I'm not being vain by asking for the vids to be the correct size... I just want accurate viewings of my outfits & how they actually look! lol :happy:)

[kerrianna]

:D :D :D Can't stop grinning!

You are soooo sexy Pocs! Love your strut.
I see pups wanted in on the action. :heehee:

Pink walls at Pocs house? :eek: Well, they bring you out in counterpoint. :daydreaming: .........
...... hmmmm?

Oh! What do I think? :p

Well, I like the hoodie one, maybe because that's how I dress a lot (being a techie) all in black and comfy.

And I like the last one - the 80's jacket sans belt.

The first two gets you the "tuck your shirt in young man! :slap: "

I think you look great no matter what.
:D ...can't stop grinning....:love:

[Kimberley]

Yup, on the money for sure

80's jacket, no belt, slacks and black shirt. Tie..... ummm so so okay I think maybe, I dont know. It works but I am not so sure. Just my taste I guess.

:hugs:
Kimberley

[bi_weird]

Dude Poc, why aren't you in America? I'd so be buying you a drink, even without a sexy accent...
Oh wait, opinions. Loose the hoodie. Most of those have a strong element of "Hi I'm cool and I'm fifteen and a sk8ter boi yo"...which can work, but you don't want to look fifteen. I like the belt, honestly, and the tie, and the outfits that go with that.
But hey, thanks for making me smile. I've had a really crappy day, and it was great to get on here and have a good time watching you strut your stuff.

[Abraxas]

Dude...
Okay.
I know I said I wouldn't do this, but you're smokin'! In all of it. Personally, I think you could walk around in some froofroo pink polkadot dress and that attitude would be the only thing I'd notice.

*ahem*

Having said that, I think I like the last one best. With the belt. Anything 80s, in my opinion, is right on and spectacularly groovy, and you pull it off well.

[kerrianna]

Personally, I think you could walk around in some froofroo pink polkadot dress and that attitude would be the only thing I'd notice.


Hey! That's where my dress went! Give it back Pocs! That was my favourite! :heehee:

[bi_weird]

Hehe so I showed your video to two of my friends. They liked the eighties look, and some day they'll figure out what gender all y'all on the forum are. They're always like "wait, so this Poc...is a him...so he is really..a...so I'm still confused...how do you define gay??"

[Lisa Golightly]

Cor! You look good in everything... Even with the mad stunt dog leaping around :)

[pocoyo]

Kerrianna - hahaha! Oh as if I'm sexy lmao!!!
My mum hates the shirt-hanging-out look too muahaha.
:heehee: glad you couldn't stop grinning!
Pink walls... helloo I am gay! LOL... ok so actually the wall colour is nothing to do with me :p

Kimbles - yeah, I only like the tie like that because it's a bit of colour and helps distract from possible boob shape showage... :eek: I didn't have it done up because I thought that would be "trying too hard" to look boyish (even though these are unisex outfits). If that makes sense!
But I did think I should go without it.... we'll see how noticable the old flab-lumps are on that day :heehee: Oh if it wasn't for the curves I'd have such fun wearing clothes!!

Bi - hehehe would you? Awesome :cheers:
Glad I gave you a smile too, yaay! Muaha, unfortunately I tend to look like a 15 yr old skater boy a lot (not in this video but in real life I mean). HAHA "strut my stuff"... "bumble about dizzily" would have been more accurate *chuckles*

Abraxas - haha! Well that was my other outfit choice actually... :p
You said you weren't going to say anything?
Smokin'? Ch'yeah right LOL thanks very much :D
Hooray for 80's chic.

Bi again - LOL! So did they say "so that girl dresses as a boy and thinks she's a gay boy?" Or what? :o

Haha Kerrianna again - no I will not!

Lisa - HAHA "Mad stunt dog", that made me laugh out loud. It's such an accurate description too. You should see her sometimes!
Look good in everything my hobbit butt! But thank you very much for being sweet :D


I apologise for my general stumbliness.. my balance wasn't too great yesterday!!


Thanks for all the cool comments! :love:
(Hope you were honest though, because honesty is more important than being nice to me. If I look horrendous and fat/wide & really curvy and hideous... like in those girl trousers *shudder*,.... I need to know if there's something I'm not spotting!)
Btw it doesn't help that one of my slender bits is my upper half... but it's hard to show that more slenderness off without revealing the horrible things attatched to my chest.
So I end up looking more short and wide because I'm hiding the curves and revealing the more chunky bit (lower body) if that makes sense... any tips?!

(The curves & the chunky muscle/flab legs are becoming less curvy/chunky though.. yes in a healthy way!)

So it's looking like the jacket and pinstripey loose trousers.... cool.....
(Btw I do have a bunch of other clothes if any of you had another suggestion like "well you'd look less short and squat, and have simply noo curves, and look really slim if you wore THIS" or whatever...).
Thank u!

[Abraxas]

Well, I'd said no more compliments, but dammit Poc, I just had to! :D
Hrm. As for slimness, vertical stripes are supposed to work best, according to the people who know these things. But to be honest, you don't appear terribly curvy to me. *shrug* I think what you've picked works. :thumbsup:

[pocoyo]

Haha oh yeah you did say that lol! Thank u :heehee:
Ahhh the ol' vertical stripes trick.... :thinking:

[kerrianna]

(Btw I do have a bunch of other clothes if any of you had another suggestion like "well you'd look less short and squat, and have simply noo curves, and look really slim if you wore THIS" or whatever...).
Thank u!

Well, in that case, I think you should try that froofroo pink polkadot dress of mine you won't give back! :tongueout :D

[Marcie Sexton]

Be yourself...after all that is who you are...

Don't read any thing more or less into my reply...Just be yourself...

[Kimberley]

Oh cmon pocs.... do it right

41562

:hugs: :hugs:

[Kieron Andrew]

Cor! You look good in everything... Even with the mad stunt dog leaping around :)
down girl!!! stop that drooling!

[Kieron Andrew]

Good point Kieron.. thanks dude!!
ok what did i do or say???




[Edit... linky and viddy go bye bye!]
ok not fair im last to the party and i miss the linky viddy thing :( i wanna seeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

[Lisa Golightly]

down girl!!! stop that drooling!

Can't help it... :happy:

[Kieron Andrew]

Can't help it... :happy:
but its sooooooooo unladylike hehee

[MJ]

ok what did i do or say???


ok not fair im last to the party and i miss the linky viddy thing :( i wanna seeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

hey i missed the link thingy, as well , Kieron that's what we get for being late :rolleyes:

[pocoyo]

Kerrianna - haha well... perhaps I will :p

ShuShu - thanks :) Hmm.. not sure I want attention.. perhaps I'll wear something "subtle" hehe! No I don't do them professionally (haha how could you think that from that silly video :heehee: ?) I did do a lot of video/film stuff at college though, and I make videos a lot.


Marcie - hehe I'm trying!.. I just don't know who "me" is... I have so many facets/layers whatever. It's very confusing. I will try though :happy: Thank you.


Kimb - haha!!! Well that is a very fetching outfit I have to say :D


Kieron - You reminded me that girls don't even have to wear make up and that many don't! So if I wanted to go as "unisex" or even girly it would be ok to not wear it.
Hehe don't worry that you missed it, I was working on another video to show you guys (for fun & to say hi) earlier. But then I had to go to work before I finished it lol! Pesky work getting in the way. I will probably finish it and post it for you either tonight or tomorrow. :o

Lisa!! Oh stop it... and you called me a tease.. pah! :p

[pocoyo]

Hehe don't worry MJ.. another video coming soon!

[Lisa Golightly]

Lisa!! Oh stop it... and you called me a tease.. pah! :p

I'm not a tease... I'm just loveable :)

[Kieron Andrew]

hey i missed the link thingy, as well , Kieron that's what we get for being late :rolleyes:
it wasnt my fault someone got me steaming drunk at the Valentine party last night and i didnt get eat any cookies so i was drinking on at an empty tummy:(

[Kieron Andrew]

I'm not a tease... I'm just loveable :)
you are tease AND Loveable!!

[Lisa Golightly]

you are tease AND Loveable!!

You silver tongued devil ;)

[Kieron Andrew]

You silver tongued devil ;)
why thank you young lady :) :hugs: :love:

[Sierra Evon]

Poc , good luck to ya , :thumbsup:

[pocoyo]

Haha Kieron n Lisa! Aww Lovable Lisa! :luvu:

Thanks Sierra!
ShuShu .. hahaha!!

****************************

Ok so, I met them :D

And it wasn't as scary as I thought at all!!!....

My mum texted me from the car park (parking lot) where she had parked, to say that they had also just arrived and parked there (they were early!!!!!) anyway just after she texted me my heart was going BANG BANG BANG! I was scared and excited all at once. I saw them arrive through the window and grinned then ran to answer the door and gave them all a big hug lol.

We took some photos and I gave the poss biofather a book I had bought for him AAAGES ago but not had chance to give to him yet (as I hadn't seen him for ages).

We all went to a pub to have lunch and it was really nice. We all had a fun time and laughed a lot! We even made the waitress laugh and she loved us and how cheeky we all were. When the 2 "grown ups" went outside for a cigerette my poss half brother and I had a little chat about stuff and I told him about my transgenderedness... and he seemed really cool about it.

The best bit about the whole thing was... I was scared that the poss half brother was all tall and strapping and perfect and manly and looking about 28 wasn't I? But actually... HE WASN'T EVEN THAT TALL!!!! AARGH!! :D :D
Especially with my chunky-soled trainers on lol!
He wasn't huge and bulky at all! Coool. And also he didn't look 28 (he seems to look a bit older in photos).
He just still seemed like himself! Which was cool. And he wasn't all arrogant and horrible like I was worrying he would be either, he just seemed really sweet and nice and as my mum put it "a lovely boy"... awwww!!!

I didn't really feel that inadequate! Apart from I kept findind my hair annoying haha! But it wasn't too bad.

We took the pup for a long walk afterwards and he was running around with her, it was so fun. (For once I wasn't doing much running around because I was suddenly getting soooo tired!... I think it was the relief of finally meeting them and getting it over with!)

So it was a successful day, and I'm so thankful to you all for helping me not to be so nervous and encouraging me and being sweet to me and "holding my hand". *cartman voice*...I looove you guys :D

Here is a link to a few photos (I only got a few on my camera... Mum got some better ones, so when she gets them developed I will show them to you as well):

http://pocoyo.myphotoalbum.com/view_photo.php?set_albumName=album02&id=themoodylook

When you want to go to the next picture just click "next".
Each picture has a little caption at the bottom explaining it too.

Oh also I made a silly little video, it's very short. But I filmed that moment just after mum had texted me and I knew they were on the way. Then when it was late and they'd all gone and it had gone well. And then earlier today!

Here is the link for that:

[Edit: Gone again]


[Edit: P.S.... forgot to say that I was just myself I think... and I showed them that video I made for you guys, so they got to see me in all modes! (Androgynous with them, and boy and girl on the video).

Haha, also, in the pub the poss biofath said "Have your hands grown? They look bigger!"
Muahahah I loved that, and claimed I was about to go through a growth spurt :p!]

[kerrianna]

:D :hugs: :love:

Hey Pocs, glad that went well.
You guys sure look like brothers. A couple of right cheeky monkeys if you ask me.

It looks like you were just being yourself - that's really cool because they got to see the real you and as all your friends here will testify the real you is really cool! :hugs:

Will have to wait for the video as it's not available right now.

Pat yourself on the back dude, because you handled a stressful situation really well and made it work - like we knew you would. Pocs rocks! :thumbup: :^5: :dance:

[CaptLex]

Hooray! So glad it all went well after all. The pics are great - it looks like you guys really get along. I wasn't able to see the video (it says "unavailable), but I'll try checking it out again later. Bet you're relieved now, huh? I'm sure they were just happy to see you and spend some time with you - how could they not? You're such a cool guy/girl. :D

[Dasein9]

Hey, I get to say Itoldjaso!!!

Poc the Brave! :)

[Kieron Andrew]

Hey, I get to say Itoldjaso!!!

bugger! you beat me to it! lol..........so i'll say it again! Itoldjaso poc!...............i just love the pic of you and the son together, you just like to boys hanging out together!........

[bi_weird]

HEY glad it went well! Love the pics. Hope the video will work soon. I'm going to go eat breakfast/lunch instead of obsessively clicking on it 'til it works...

[pocoyo]

Hahaha *strumpet blast*

Thanks everyone! :hugs: :hugs: :heehee:

Lol bi... it's really short and boring and not worth doing that at all!!

It's weird how I do look slightly like the posshalfbro but the other day I took a photo of my dad and me (as in my proper dad who IS my dad, who was there when I was born, 1st person to hold me, saw me take my 1st steps etc etc) and we looked welll alike! :D

[Kieron Andrew]

I'm going to go eat breakfast/lunch instead of obsessively clicking on it 'til it works...im glad i wasnt the only one doing that lol

[pocoyo]

Hahaha twonks.
You will be like "er... was that it?" when you finally see it lol!

[Felix]

Congrats Poc looks like it all went swingingly well for ya!! The pics are great I'll have to see if my comp will let me watch ya video's too xx Felix :hugs:

[pocoyo]

Thanks Felix!! :hugs: :D xx

[Sheila]

pocoyo,

glad it went well and you both look cool

jess

[kerrianna]

:straightface: You and youtube are such a tease.
Not available, not available, not available...

Pocs playing hard to get? Nawwwwww.....come on youtube get it together already! The line stretches around the block!

[Di]

So glad it went well....was thinking about ya.....and like the others have said...you do look like brothers hanging out.....very cool:thumbsup:

[Abraxas]

Yay! Glad things went well for ya, mate! :D

[bi_weird]

Poc now it says your video is private! How do I do this friend thing on youtube? My SN on there is biweird34.

[pocoyo]

Oh er.... *looks shifty* I did just put it on private....

I edited the link bit to say I did hehe (So don't slap me for being sneaky!)

I altered it because it STILL wasn't showing, hours and hours later and it was really short and pathetic anyway. And my voice is really weird in it.

[Kieron Andrew]

Oh er.... *looks shifty* I did just put it on private....

I edited the link bit to say I did hehe (So don't slap me for being sneaky!)

I altered it because it STILL wasn't showing, hours and hours later and it was really short and pathetic anyway. And my voice is really weird in it.
so can we see it or not!! we've been waiting hours!!

[pocoyo]

Erm no... when I said "altered it" I meant altered it to private... so only I can see it.

Oh fine I will put it back on public but I''m sure it still won't work.. and if it DOES work my voice is horrible in it. I'm not trying to talk like a boy at all and sound gross lol

[Kieron Andrew]

Erm no... when I said "altered it" I meant altered it to private... so only I can see it.

Oh fine I will put it back on public but I''m sure it still won't work.. and if it DOES work my voice is horrible in it. I'm not trying to talk like a boy at all and sound gross lol
lol....up to you buddy but your public have been waiting lol

[pocoyo]

Thar... the links back (and actually seems to work now for me at least).

Prepare for yuckiness lol :(

(Don't forget it's stretched unless u resize it... not that it really matters on this video)

[Kieron Andrew]

awwwww we got a poco hug!! thems the best!!!! your voice was fine!!!

[pocoyo]

awwwww we got a poco hug!! thems the best!!!! your voice was fine!!!

:bighug: :bighug:

Hehe!

My voice was ewwww gross...

But I didn't really fancy "putting on" a voice yesterday :heehee:
(Couldn't even be bothered to sound like a young boy... let alone try and compensate for my lack of testosterone!)

[dancinginthedark]

Very happy for you Poco. Loved the vid and your voice is not at all weird. My son watched with me and was most impressed that I know someone who is on the Internet. :D Then he recognized you from the site and was even more impressed. lol "OMG mom you've talked to em'. I know you did. I saw you posting to em' before!! " He recognized you in both boy and girl mode and thought you were the coolest person ever. I happen to agree with him you are very cool. Eric (my son) says you should be on the Jay Leno show. So what do you think Poco ready for TV?

dancin

[pocoyo]

Awwwwwwwww Dancing!! That's so nice!
Thank you :hugs: :hugs: :bighug:
Yay he recognised me both ways *grin*... see it IS the same person yaay! :D
:love: Tell him hi!
Hahaha Jay Leno!


Oh btw here are 2 more pics of Ol and me that I got sent today...

http://pocoyo.myphotoalbum.com/view_photo.php?set_albumName=album02&id=hug1

http://pocoyo.myphotoalbum.com/view_photo.php?set_albumName=album02&id=armsround

[CaptLex]

Awww . . . cute pics. You guys do look like brothers. I wish I had a brother . . . well, I do . . . kind of, but we're not related by blood. Anyway, it's nice that you get along. :happy: