One of those less than good thinking days...

[rickie121x]

First, I am retired and have lots of time. I am single, and have lots of privacy. I do love crossdressing, and at 72, I have been doing it at various levels for 60 years! I should be pretty good at it by now and have most of the problems solved. I feel comfortable and normal in female looking garb and dress for a good part of every day.

I love my comfort and my relaxation and so I don't shave my face every day. So, typically, while in my femme drab mode -no makeup, faded ankle length blue wraparound skirt, bulky sox, topped with a soft old sweatshirt, and in the mirror I just look horrible! So I try not to look in the mirror and then I just putter around most of the day and feel just fine - it's so easy to do! And then I read about so many of you-all that primp and refine and wear fancy stockings and shoes and make a really big deal out of dressing - and I begin to think I should do that every day - just like my mother and grandmother really did.

I am old now and just can't put up with the notion of the pain and complications of facial hair removal and hormones - and the expense, good god - the expense! Yeah, and the facial skin discolorations due to the sun damage from when I was young - so that making up is a long and drawn out affair.... So I guess that I will walk by the mirror quickly and just take a quick glance at my femme carriage when I walk and my general "look" and just skip the details. Cra-, I used to love those beautiful femme details 20 years ago - but then I didn't have the time.... Damn, why does life come in enigma packets!

And then, this lonesome situation. I dress, and so I can't go out comfortably and easily. Result, I don't meet people and I stay lonesome. Question, am I just a loner..., or is it my dressing fetish that separates me? And does it make any difference which? I want a woman in my life - and I am sabotaging that goal either way!

Bad thinking day, :( Rickie , wannabe :doll: , but still :(

[Kahlan51]

Just recently retired and I love it but I can sympathize with the feeling of letting it all hang out. I don't really think that is such a great idea. I think it is a slope that leads to death of the spirit. Just my idea so I have started to take extra care of my appearance and I seem a lot happier. Kahlan

[Cristi]

I'm right with you there. I've had many many days like you are having.

I think yes, dressing DOES separate me from things a bit. I have to decide every day that I'm not working if I'd rather a) stay home, dress and just be a hermit or b) skip dressing that day, get out and DO something.

I've been going out dressed a bit, but that isn't the same. I'm not going to have any REAL interractions with people I meet while dressed. I sit and wonder sometimes just how much of life has passed (is passing) my by because it was easier to sit at home in a dress than it was to go out and do something... anything!

Add to that the fact that my self confidence goes up and down like a yoyo and things really get fun. Some days I'm at the top of the world and am convinced that I pass. Other days I know that I don't, but I go out anyway. On my bad days, I just see my image in the mirror as a tall ugly middle-aged guy in a dress and wonder just what the f*** I'm trying to accomplish. :(

I'll say it anyway, but I'm sure you probably already realize that a lot of the negative feelings you get when you look in the mirror are because of the values that society has imprinted on you. You have to be beautiful and feminine or you have no value. :( :(

All we can do is try to replace that garbage with our own values. I like doing this, it makes me comfortable, it doesn't harm anybody else, therefore it is good and the 'rules' that say otherwise are wrong.

Hang in there...

BTW: Your post really resonates with an inner dialogue I have a LOT (right down to the Heinlein quote!)

[Kelsy]

I'm right with you there. I've had many many days like you are having.

I think yes, dressing DOES separate me from things a bit. On my bad days, I just see my image in the mirror as a tall ugly middle-aged guy in a dress and wonder just what the f*** I'm trying to accomplish. :(


I can sympathize Rickie and Cristi,
I have thought ,on more than one occation, that if I could only put the genie back in the bottle, if I could only go back and live free of this aspect of my personality, what would life be like. Sometime I get affraid that this need to dress is taking control and I can't escape. But of course there are the other times when I just love being a girl and all is well with the world. It is a strange soup we're in! Keep smiling

Jennifer:happy:

[Karren H]

Well Rickie.... On the positive side I think you just talked me out of retiring..... EVER!!! :). And I'm surprised in a city that's just full of people and things to do that you can't find something... I know there is a Tri-Ess chapter there and yeah I also know that your going to tell me that it not your bag or style or life style...

But I'll bet its sunny and warmish there... Run out to the Hoover dam and watch them build that new bridge!! Rock and mineral hunting enfemme in the desert? Try to find Area 51 enfemme!! Hehe.

I can think of a million things to do.... How about doing an enfemme Elvis Impersonation?? Don't see those everyday on the strip? Hmmmmm?

:D

Love Karren

[marie354]

Yes it is wonderful being a girl... I think. This does hamper going outside for some of us though. Hopefully I'm going to get over that fear soon and achieve that "freedom of dress" where ever I am.
I don't get out much anymore even though I retired at 49 for medical reasons, but my SO doesn't get out much either.
I do have an understanding woman at my side, so that helps me from being lonely, but I would love to be "out and about" when I'm dressed.
I will soon I hope.
Try not to feel too down, there will be a day that you will meet someone purely by chance and you'll just know... "Wow... We click!"
You won't even be looking for her when it happens.
At least that's how it happened with me.

[rickie121x]

Well Rickie.... On the positive side .... Run out to the Hoover dam and watch them build that new bridge!! Rock and mineral hunting enfemme in the desert? Try to find Area 51 enfemme!! Hehe. .... How about doing an enfemme Elvis Impersonation?? ....Hmmmmm? :DLove Karren Thanks - made me laugh. Think I will go out to the GoodWill store and shop!
Rickie :heehee:

[Karren H]

Thanks - made me laugh. Think I will go out to the GoodWill store and shop!
Rickie :heehee:

Hope you haven't left yet!!! If you find one of those Vegas Show Girl costumes in a size 10.... Buy it for me!! I'll pay you back! Prommise!!! Hehe

Like any of those showgirls are as big as a 10!! Probably a zero or a 2... Grrrrrrrr...

Love Karren

[Janelle Young]

I sometimes wonder much the same thing Rickie, am I dressing because I am a loner or am I a loner because I crossdress? There is one thing for sure, at least for me, and that is if I am dressed I will not be meeting anyone. The next issue is if a GG is met do you tell her or not and if you do tell her can she deal with it? For me I think the answer is one must have hope, or perhaps faith might be a better word for it, that a GG will be met and she will be able to deal with a crossdresser.

[susie evans]

rickie go ahead and vent your frustrations all you want we all have lows and highs and we all care about you i think you need a shopping spree i think i am going to visit a mine site in your area at the end of the month and will do it in a dress and heels (wonder if any one will notice ) i will take my trusty camera and tir pod and post a picture stay tuned :D :hugs:

susie

[SandyR]

Guess we all have our bad and good days Rickie, hang in there! Try what I do to keep me motivated, take a nice long bath, shave your leggs......get out lotion up and put on something nice and sexxy......


Kisses, hun.....Hang in there....

SandyR

[Karren H]

rickie go ahead and vent your frustrations all you want we all have lows and highs and we all care about you i think you need a shopping spree i think i am going to visit a mine site in your area at the end of the month and will do it in a dress and heels (wonder if any one will notice ) i will take my trusty camera and tir pod and post a picture stay tuned :D :hugs:

susie

If it's a gold mine pick me up few samples... necklace, earrings.... :D

Love Karren

[SandyR]

If you find some time, I could use a new set of ear rings, gold hoops, and a nice lace necklace...........


Sandy...

[Peggy55]

Rickie/Christi,

I am right with you! I am 51 years old and have had some really bad turn of events in the last 9 months (lost a job I had for years, totalled my car etc...)
I never cross dressed before last Sept/Nov. There was some night dress here from an ex girlfriend, I tried it on and have been hooked ever since. I wish I could find a link I posted early in my days here, perhaps if you search my postings you'll find it but one of the things it did say is crossdressers can be a very lonely bunch! As I am not working I tend to dress whenever I can. Of course this is with all the blinds closed and a careful ear out for any neighbor etc aproaching my door. Do I like cross dressing? Strangely, yes, I like it a lot. It tends to comfort me. At first there was a sexual aspect as well but more so now...comfort. Do I think it's taking over my life and wrapping me in it's cacoon...yes I do. I have very little social interactions these days. Sometimes skip things I need to do for dressing. Hide in my house, haven't looked for a girlfriend due to this new "activity "etc. I will never be a go out on the town kind of dresser...just at home. So here I am and on Valentines Day no less!


*****

Here's the link:

http://www.jenellerose.com/htmlpostings/darkside/Temperament.htm

[Alice B]

Old is but a state of mind. Think loike youre old and you'll be old. Think and behave like your young, no matter what others thing and you'll be young. I am a very young 64 and just beginning to appreciate all that life has to offer and all that I can be.

[rickie121x]

:wave: Thanks, you gyes. I appreciate the wonderful replies. And Peggy, that "janellerose" link really seems to hit the mark as an educated set of crossdresser information.

Like my new ID for crossdressers, "gyes"? :heehee:

Rickie, :whew!: feeling better, but still dressed in maledrab :straightface: after doing the tree pruning and trash preparation.

[Marcie Sexton]

Well I'm 17 months from an early out....then I'm out of there...and full time dressing...

I'll find things to do both in drab and femme, mostly femme...:rolleyes:

[BettyAnne]

Hi All,
I too am in my seventies and retired, but as my wife of 41 years doesn't really care for it, I dress rarely. Fortunately, she doesn't object to my "underdressing" so at this time I own practically no men's underwear.
It's not that I can not pass. By some genetic freak, I have a very light beard, a kind of neutral facial bone structure, and age very slowly. The photo you see here was taken by Glamour Shots a couple of years ago.
Before I was married, when in my late teens, I actually spent a summer in Paris with a cousin "en femme". It was a once in a lifetime experience. I still treasure it.
These days, I keep busy flying as a pilot for Homeland Defense. You would be amazed just how many pilots wear pantyhose, by the way. Long flights tend to make your blood pool in your legs so "Leggs" really are practical.
The last time I ventured out dressed was years ago. I guess the ability to look pretty underneath seems to suffice these days
So, to all my fellow septagenarians. enjoy.

Betty