Fear vs. Common Sense

[KimberlyS]

I was originally going to write this in response to PrincessMichelle's post on "Fear" and Marina Twelve's response to that. But as I wrote it I began to realize it is a post in itself.

So whats the difference between "Fear" and "Common sense?"

The following are some of mine. What are some of yours?


Fear: My wife will leave me, their goes my life, my wife, my kids, my job.

Common sense: Committing to my wife and marriage. Spending a tough 4 years learning to communicate better with my wife. And continuing to work with my wife to come to something that will work for all of us. Giving my wife and I a better relationship than we ever had. :hugs:

Fear: Going out.

Common sense: Getting out of town. Way out of town and just doing it.

Fear: Going out as a guy wearing femme clothes.

Common sense: When going out presenting a male image or a female image that the general public can deal with.


What are your Fears and Common sense solutions that you have done.

KimberlyS-CD
Joe in a skirt :happy:

[Michelle Ellis]

Fear keeps me safe, it makes me question my descions... it keeps me in the closet worrying that my life will turn for the worse if I open the door.

Common sense tells me to get out and live my life before it's too late.

I wish fear and common sense could get along better with one another.

Fear tells me not to shop, someone might see me, it might get back to someone I know...

Common sense tells me to forget it, it's my life, I'll do what I want.

Between Fear and Common Sense is Courage... (thanks Lisa, this struck a chord with me, and it's worth repeating) Courage being the realisation that something is more important than the fear.

M

[Joy Carter]

I spent a life time in fear of what others would think and say about me. I'm now regretting no being myself earlier in life. It would have saved me/SO allot of stress, heart ache and sadness. Commonsense is what I thought I was using when I refused to give in to me being transgendered. Commonsense now is that I just go to another city and make new friends, and finally live like I should have years ago. One more thing Kimberly. I don't care that I look like a guy in a dress. I love myself for who I am. Nobody is going to cheet me out of that.

I Love All Of You Joy :<3:

[marie354]

Fear about coming out now that we met so many people since we've moved here.
Common sense tells me to just do it and get over it.
Fear about what people will think.
Common sense says the hell with what they think.
Still undecided.

[Marcie Sexton]

If one uses common sense there really isn't a need for fear...I have been faced with a lot of things including jumping out of a plane at 8000 feet...

I used the knowledge I was taught and learned...applied it...sure the unknown is scary, but not to be feared...Application of common sense...

But then again I'm left handed, a CD'er, and OCD'er...need I say more...

Oh Yea a realist too...

[marie354]

I guess you're right Marcie...
It has been said before in history.
"The only thing to fear is fear itself."

[Kristen Marie]

Fear used to rule my dressing. I am now older and wiser (I think). This past year, I have let common sense be my guide and I am enjoying life so much more.

[cindybarnes]

Hi Kimberly.

Good question !
Fear of getting cought by a non knowing or accepting SO or fear of being found out by co-workers are both probs most of us deal with.
Then there may be fear that its more than just a CD thing,, how far will this go,, and whats next, is even a bigger question.
Common sence tells me that I cant come out to people in my daily life without some sort of undesirable results. Common sence also tells me if I want to shop during the day as Cindy, dress accordingly. Common sence also tells me dont go out downtown alone at night while dressed,,,, the list goes on and on,,,drinking and driving while wearing 4 inch heels etc,,,,
Fear is often a good thing because it makes you think,,,Common sence is sort of thinking ahead without the fear,,, some people just dont seem to grasp either .Nothing wrong with overcomming your fears when mixed with common sence :)

Cindy

[Jodi]

I agree with Cindy. Common sense is thinking ahead to preclude adverse actions occurring. When dressed, I try to think like a woman as to safety. That includes where to park my car at night. How to approach the car. NO ALCOHOL when driving dressed. Don't go to any venue that a lone woman wouldn't frequent. Shop out of town where the chance of being observed is nil. Dress appropriate for any occasion. There is no fear involved with the above, just common sense.

Last fall, two girls that I know were assaulted after leaving a club in Cleveland. In retrospect, they got careless. They parked their car in a bad spot, and they weren't observant. No common sense shown there.

Jodi

[susie evans]

fear is the un known the only thing i fear at this point is not getting every thing done i want to before i die

if i use comman sence i will be able to make them happen

:hugs: susie

[Butterfly Bill]

Fear: Going out as a guy wearing femme clothes.

Common sense: When going out presenting a male image or a female image that the general public can deal with.

Joe in a skirt :happy:

I have found common sense to be presenting myself as what I really am to other people, and wearing women's clothes that make my male body look good and that would be appropriate on women for the surroundings I am in. I have observed that large parts of the public can deal with that. Joe in a skirt is what you are, and other people can accept that because that is honest.

[KimberlyS]

Thanks for all of the great responses. I love the different views people have in this forum.

Joy said "One more thing Kimberly. I don't care that I look like a guy in a dress. I love myself for who I am. Nobody is going to cheat me out of that."

I am similar, when out in full femme I think I blend good at a distance, but up close I am not going to fool people and do not really try, I just want to have a decent look. IMHO our attitudes first, along with a decent look, will get us the acceptance or tolerance to deal with most people. And that has also been my experience.

Butterfly Bill said "I have found common sense to be presenting myself as what I really am to other people, and wearing women's clothes that make my male body look good and that would be appropriate on women for the surroundings I am in. I have observed that large parts of the public can deal with that. Joe in a skirt is what you are, and other people can accept that because that is honest."

I have been out once as a guy in obvious femme clothes and did not have any problems. But living in a small conservative town and area, I do not want to put my wife and kids through having to deal with me coming out in that way. Kids have enough to deal with when going through school. I do not need to give the other kids any more reason to pick on my kids.

So I will continue to go out in a mix of male and unisex femme clothes when presenting a male image. And while getting out in full femme it will include a wig and makeup although it is not really me. But it allows me to get out in more feminine looking clothes at times and it is a compromise for my situation that works for all of us.

And, like I started my going out fully dressed far from home in larger cities, I am sure in the future I will do the same as a guy in femme clothes. Who knows, maybe I will be in Butterfly Bills area when it happens and we can do lunch or something.

KimberlyS-Cd
Joe in a skirt