Lost the desire

[rachel_rachel]

Hi there all, as i sit here writing this, it is 12.30am in Melbourne Australia 17th feb. 2007... A very important day for me too, My wedding day.

My very soon to be wife has been great, she supports what i do but sometimes wishes i'd just back off a little.. i suppose all wives go through that phase though.

Anyway, here's my situation... she let's me dress whenever i want as long the kids are asleep, or not around, let's me wear nighties and the like to bed, but lately, i've lost the urge or desire to dress up. The last i did was new year's eve at a friends house. I pretty came out to my friends that night, as a lot of them knew i dressed but didn't think i'd leave the house. I did, and didn't take a change of men's clothes with me either.


I havew no intention of purging my clothes.. NO WAY... Should i just leave it alone fro a few weeks and then the urge will come back or just get straight back into the saddle so to speak?

[geekinthepinkcd]

I think a lot of us go through periods where we're not necessarily dressing as frequently. Sometimes, I'm tempted to donate my clothes to charity and just give it up. However, I usually just put them in a suitcase. At some point though, I'll always open up that suitcase and get dolled up.

[Marcie Sexton]

Sounds like another case of hitting the wall...take a deep breath let the dust settle and climb right back in...

Although I haven't been faced with this situation yet, I have in other aspects of my life...

Trust me the desire will return with renewed interest.

[rachel_rachel]

Sounds like another case of hitting the wall...take a deep breath let the dust settle and climb right back in...

Although I haven't been faced with this situation yet, I have in other aspects of my life...

Trust me the desire will return with renewed interest.


Thanks the words of encouragement... I think i'll bouce back pretty quick but my problem is that now i've been out and am out to most of friends, i want to go all the way, all the time... just gotta control my urge i suppose... thanks.

[marie354]

I think that it's a normal thing to not to want to "do the thing" each and every day. For me this morning, just jeans and a top. No makeup and just a quick brushing of my hair.
My SO allows me to go 24/7 anytime I want, and I do most of the time. Even though the jeans are womens and the top has embroided flowers on it, it's really just a casual look... Nothing special.
Not quite the same as putting all my clothes away, but I can't really do that. Most of my guy things are bagged up and I don't like looking that way anyway. I don't get out of the house much this time of year, so today is just lazy day for me.

[Angie G]

Just give it a rest I think it will be back rachel :hugs:
Angie

[Tina B.]

This comes up a lot around here, I think it's just the ups and downs of life, If no body is paying you to dress up, then if you are not enjoying it, and feel like it is more of a bother than it is worth to you right now, it's nothing to worry about, just put your gear away and take a break, when you want it or need it, it will still be there, and remember dressing is not mandatory!
As you say down under, maybe you need to take a "walk about" and come home later.
Tina B.

[ToyGirl]

hey congratulations , have a wonderfull day !

[marie354]

I almost forgot... Congratualtions! She must be one lucky girl... Oh you too!
Might you feel this way from the wedding day jitters?
There are a lot of emotions in play on a big day like that.
You've got too much to worry about right now, don't let it bother you one bit.
You have your wedding to deal with, the reception party, and the best part... "The honeymoon!" Unless you want to wear a wedding dress too, I wouldn't worry about not being in the mood at all.
:love: :love: :love: :hugs:

[Daintre]

Rachel, from reading your post, I think you already know the answer, I think that you just need a brief hiatus from dressing and the desire will come flooding back. I am so happy to hear that you have an accepting wife.

[rachel_rachel]

Thanks to all who have replied... We had a wonderful day, the only downside to it being that it was 38 degrees here last saturday, and i was wearing a black suit.

I was told a few months ago that "she" wasn't allowed to come on the honeymoon, so i respected that and maybe tonight now that we're back home "she" come out for a visit, although it is still a little on the warm side here and a little uncomfortable for dressing.

[Shelly Preston]

Congratulations on getting married

I hope you both have many happy yeaqrs together :hugs:

[Sheila]

41966 on your marriage

Jess

[Robin Leigh]

Hi Rachel!

Firstly, congratulations to you & your bride. :hugs:


i've lost the urge or desire to dress up. The last i did was new year's eve at a friends house. I pretty came out to my friends that night, as a lot of them knew i dressed but didn't think i'd leave the house.This often happens to many of us when we come out to people, or make some other significant change to our CDing. My theory is that it just takes some time for our subconscious minds to come to terms with the change. Coming out removes some psychological pressures, but it can also create new ones.

When you do start dressing again, it's quite likely that you will feel a little different about it all. Consider it as part of the growing process. :)

:hugs:

Robin

[Kate Simmons]

Congratulations Rachel. My best wishes to you and your Bride.:happy:

[Rachaelb64]

1st Congratulations Rachel on your wdding :happy:

2nd I just like to I've been through this just recently, starting to look at it a bit like a CDing 'hangover'. Just need to de-tox, rest a little a come back again. I'm also wondering if you have 'offically' come out to your friends, that 'buzz' of getting caught dressed has gone so has effected your desire in someway. Just a thought :happy:

Have Wedding Great day.

[Bonnie D]

Congratulations Rachel to you and your wife!

I hope she doesn't expect you to change now that you are 'married'. I totally understand that she would not want Rachel along on your honeymoon. However, now that you are getting back to day-to-day living you should do whatever you were doing when you were living together. Talk to her about it if you think anything has changed.

Bonnie

[Casey Morgan]

I think i'll bouce back pretty quick but my problem is that now i've been out and am out to most of friends, i want to go all the way, all the time... just gotta control my urge i suppose...

First, congratulations on getting married. May your marriage be a long and happy one.

Second, getting to full time is a process. It's not like you come out and some cosmic ray comes down and turns you into Captain Crossdresser. You have to take one step at a time. Some steps may go quickly, some may seem to creep along. You're extending your limits at a pace that's right for you. Think of full time as a goal, and enjoy the steps that get you there. That desire is a catalyst for change, but you can't let the process get away from you. This is a PART of your life.

I'll stop now before I turn this into a collection of... phrases that everybody says. (Heck of a time for my vocabulary to fail me.) But it's true none the less.

[Tina B.]

Congratulations, glad to hear the wedding went well, now in America 38 degress is a good reason to wear black!
And it sounds like that desire to dress is coming back already!
Tina B.

[Girdlewoman]

I'm in that mode too. i haven't felt like dressing for over a year. i have tried a couple of times to just sort of do it,but I haven't been "IN" to it. When I dress I pass and all that ,not really afraid to go anywhere. I have had a lot of life altering situations lately and just don't feel like it. It kind of bothers me but I have been involved in dressing since I was a small child, I know what I am and have come to terms with that and I figure the feelings will return when my internal clock dictates,just like always. Peace, Girdlewoman

[Trinni]

Congrats on your marrage. I hope you have a wonderful wedding. Even though it will be crazy, try to take in all in because it will probably be a whirlwind. Also I hear most people don't get a chance to eat at there own wedding, while I made it a point to eat and enjoy every aspect of mine. Have fun and for the feeling about CDing, I agree with everyone else, just give it a reak and when it feels right again then go for it.