Out to More Family

[RobertaFermina]

A month ago, my daughter told my ex carelessly about my cding. She said it was an "oopsie."

ex: your dad has no feminine side, no respect for feminine
daughter: oh mom, dad is pretty cool about that, he even dresses up as a woman......

Oh well. Ex tells my mom, then a few members in my family.

Saturday, I was going to a family gathering and had to wipe-off my nail polish. I decided not to and to let he chips fall where they may. I even brought pictures from my last outing.

The subject of my nails came up, and I owned up to it and shared my pix. I got positive reaction from my sisters and nephews. They had questions - are you gay? do you want to be a woman (who wrote that script?)? and I answered them all. No. No. Proud to be a man, so happy and free as a woman.

Turns out they had something about it from my mom or ex...so I was simply filling in the blanks with my truth and what is positive about it for me. Also the pictures showed how beautiful and happy I am, and that went a long way to put them at ease.

We went shopping and left the pictures on the table.

My brothers and brothers-in-law arrived after we left, and were looking at the pictures. My nephew noticed that some were accepting and some were saying not-very-nice things, so he gathered up the pictures and put them back in the envelope, and told his mom what he saw. Having one family member with such thoughtfulness and concern makes it so easy to not-worry about the few who are uncomfortable or rude about it.

The best part is I don't have to hide who I am or what I do. Its too much trouble and so often the ruin of many a fabulous nail polishing !

So not my sisters and gay nephew see me as a great shopping buddy !

As for those with unkind responses, I am prepared for the other shoe to drop. Hope it is a size 10!

Another successful OUTing!

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[marie354]

I am sooo happy that it turned out so well for you and it was a joy reading about your experience.
Way to go sis!

[Marla S]

Hey, congrats.:thumbsup:
We can't expect that everybody is fine with it, but if some are that's great.
And yes, it's great not to have to hide.:happy:

[kaitlin]

Hi Roberta, I think it is great that you were able to come out to your family. I wish that a lot more of mine knew, one of Tammy's sisters knows it all, another sister, her mom and a neice know about the matching toenail polish but that is all. And this is a huge family (on her side) I am sure they would be somewhat ok with it but I'm still to afraid to tell. I guess one day things will be right and I'll be out, ???? When family and friends are happy with it you just feel good inside, when they make negative, rude remarks, you just want to put a brick in your purse and...well ya know. Take care and congrats! Kaitlin

[RobertaFermina]

Dear Kaitlin,

I just knew inside that *for me* hiding it was too much to for me pay for "peace." I found faith based on knowing my family, myself and that what I do *IS* Good. From that place, courage grew. I may still have trouble over it - I'm sure to have at least a few flaps and wrinkles to weather and smooth down.

When the price of reclusive cd-ing is too much for you, you'll know it. I hope you are enjoying your privacy in CDing for now. There's no need to worry when you can 'draw up the shades'. The time will come along in its own time, whether you worried about it or not.

I hope that day comes for you too, and in a good way!:love:

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[Di]

So glad it turned out well......that was a big "oopsie." but ended well..glad you do not have to hide who you are anymore.:hugs:

[kerrianna]

Hi Roberta, :hugs:
I'm glad you have enough support from people to make up for the people who don't get it. You seem well grounded enough to understand that those who don't get it are acting in ignorance and fear.

It must be a nice feeling to be more open about it. It is such an important part of who you are. In this case too, the fact that many people knew and were full of questions they didn't dare approach you with, having you let them know you're willing to talk about it and not be ashamed or anything gives them a chance to actually understand it better. There's nothing worse than people with half information talking about what they don't know amongst themselves.

I hope it keeps getting better for you. :hugs: :love:

[Colleentg]

Isn't that just like a lot of people, their first opinion or question is if you are 'gay'? I've always hated that. I don't know the statistics, but there are probably just as many or more heterosexual CDs than gay ones. What brings people to assume all CDs are gay?

[SherriePall]

Roberta -- Congratulations and I wish you the best in the future as your family now knows.

[MJ]

i am so glad to know more family are accepting, good for you, all the best with your family now time will tell how they deal with the information