what does this mean? How do you know?

[Jessicafem]

I've left a couple of posts on this with the conclusion that I want to stay in the closet. Something I've come accross becouse I'm very into personal development is a program asking to put if anything was possible what would you do and one of the thoughts that always drifts in to my head is being a girl. How do you know if this is what you want or just a fantasy?

[GypsyKaren]

Hi Martina

You've got to know yourself, a simple answer that's oh so tough. Are you willing to give up your life as you know it, are you willing to give up absolutely everything? If the answer is yes, then it's real.

Karen

[Siobhan Marie]

You've got to know yourself, a simple answer that's oh so tough. Are you willing to give up your life as you know it, are you willing to give up absolutely everything? If the answer is yes, then it's real.


Martina, I so agree with Karen. For me, I know its what I want to do, need to do and if that means giving up everything including my life as I know it, which is frankly a total sham, then thats the way it has to be. Just my :2c:

:hugs: Anna Marie x

[SusanTL]

Hi.

I totally agree with Karen. She is so right, and you will give up eveything and just about eveyone will turn against you. I am so sorry to say.

On the other side. I have never been happer in my entire life as I am now. Living totally as a female. I love my family, but I made a new family. I loved my friends, but I made new friends. Friends that accept and treat me as Susan. Was the trade worth it. For me it was.

Hugs Susan

[btmgrl6]

Yup..Lost friends and some family.. Moved,got a new job, and made some new friends. it hurt, but living 24/7 as a girl was not only the right thing to do,it was the best thing I ever did! Eventually some family members came around some,and a couple of my old friends (the females). I suppose my moving away was a relief as I was now "out of sight,out of mind" They no longer were embarassed,or having to explain WTF was wrong with me...Hahaha. I am happy,being a girl. And i am very good at it too hahaha.

[Shelly R]

Hi Martina

You've got to know yourself, a simple answer that's oh so tough. Are you willing to give up your life as you know it, are you willing to give up absolutely everything? If the answer is yes, then it's real.

Karen

I have to agree with Karen, 100%
That decision is tough, I have lost a 15 year marriage, my second marriage is going south, friends, family, everything I ever knew and loved. I have not moved out of this town, but the impression that I get from the ones that knew me from before, like me better this way. My new friends know me as a woman, no questions asked, that is my reward. The loss for me was nowhere near as bad as if I had never allowed myself to be me, acceptable damage, I would do this all again if I had to, gladly. As a woman I have never been happier with myself. :2c:

[Maggie Kay]

I have a different take on this issue. My experience is akin to a dawning realization that I am in a process. One that is largely out of my control. Staying in the closet seems not an option as this condition has a mind of it's own. The woman in me demands to be expressed. The cost? Due to other circumstances not related to TG, I lost just about everyone I knew twenty years ago and have not had any real friends or extended family anyway. I have a wife and young adult daughter. They are in the process with me and while it is incredibly hard, they do not want to lose me anymore than I want to lose them. We know the meaning of love and accept each other no matter what. Easy? No way. Recommended? How can one recommend or belittle the wind? It goes where it must. So it is for me and apparently the three of us. Now should my business clients be forced to know that I am no longer a man, well most would run for the hills. Fortunately, I have found a way to do business as sort of a recluse. I was always better off alone anyway. Where will I end up? God only knows.

[Amy Hepker]

For me there is no choice, I can only be male and a crossdresser. I could never pass as a female and I have accepted that, not that that is what I want. I would not take the chance of having to start over and that is what I would have to do. If I was younger and able to make the change over (even if it wasn't all the way with the big change) it would be a long road down a path that would be scary as well as enticing. If I were younger I could have taken measures to keep myself looking more like a Female than turning into the Man that I am. Just being a crossdresser I have lost alot. Alot of friends and ladies that I wish I still was with. Yes, you are going to lose a lot in changing into the real you. If I was younger I would have gone a head and done it knowing the people I know now and having a place like crossdresser.com. When growing up I always though that I was a freak of nature, now I know better, I wish I would have known then what I know now. You never know though somewhere down the road I may still make the change even though I don't think I could pass. Life can be and is strange.

[claireswife-gg]

Well, I can tell you what I have observed, and that is the fact that Claire had to transition to save her sanity. It is such a strong feeling that I can't imagine her unable to decide if she was transsexual or not. It's not a wanting to be a girl, it's a knowing you are and need to live as your true self.

I would recommend you find a gender therapist and let them help you sort out your feelings, drbecky.com is a good place to look for that. You'll have to do this anyway if you ever want hormone therapy/surgery, so you won't lose anything if you are.