this drives me crazy

[Jessicafem]

38b

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I am always going back and forth with my feelings. I used to work out when I was younger so my chest has kind of turned into boobs. But I love the feeling of wearing a bra. Its the best feeling. I've been dressing since about 7 and whenever I have free time I'll dress up loving what I see and wanting to go all the way (transition) but once I've pleased myself (sexually) I begin to think more logically (I don't think I'm feeling asamed) Just seem to squeeze the urge out for a while so I can get on with my day, with some weeks being very active and some not. It seems the closer I invision myslelf with a female body the more extasy I feel. Kind of scary sometimes I think I'll cross the line and not want to come back. My logical side says this is just a fantasy and that the reality of really transitioning wouldn't be what I expect. But my emotional side yearns for it. There seems to be a constant battle going on. Drives my crazy sometimes. Can anyone relate to this?

[Sharon]

I would say that because you lose interest after masturbating, that dressing up is just a sexual need you have. There's nothing wrong with that, and is common among crossdressers, but you are most likely not a transsexual. Your fantasy of transitioning is most probably that -- a fantasy.

[janedoe311]

You get a burst of male hormones when you climax. But it does not mean wanting be be a women is just a sexual fetish.

I loose some of the female feelings sometimes for a while but it does not last.

Yes we all go back a forth, it is normal. This is the underlining problem the society expects us to be either male or female. Most of us would be better off both, but we are "driven" to choose one so we have anxiety at going back and forth ie confusion.

This is normal.