@ a young age

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

Where-ever or not this is right to put in this section im not sure, so please forgive me if iam wrong .
Briefly il explain, then you will get out-line of what im saying. here in UK there are alot of childrens programes on, and eventualy they bring out magazines etc to coincide with them. there is one that alot of children seem very keen on . called : "FIFI", its about flowers , and animmals, that talk & do things in a garden. its aimed @ little girls really. anyways, the mag was due out today, so i went to get it for my daughter. there was a young lass in the shop with a little girl, and a very young boy who must be about only 1 i reckoned.:rolleyes:
We both went for this particular magazine, and paid and walked outside. now i presummed the little girl was having this magazine. as i walked along this young mother said :
" arrh i see another fan of FIFI ? "
i laughed and replied my daughter would kill me if i didnt get her it. she blushed & said:
"oh this isnt for my daughter its for my little boy !! he loves all girl things. has a pink bedroom & loves FIFI. he has pink bed set etc. "
i think my face said it all i was :eek: why i dont know but still very :eek: she explained that his father went mad , because he said she was turning him into a ***** ( i wont say what she said, dont want to offend ).
she said he always dressed up in his sisters clothes, and he wanted a pink bedroom as well. she even told me he had a barbie doll !!
now i dont see anything wrong in this, not @ all. another friend said her son ( when he was little had a dolls pram ) !! & her dad went mad @ her for buying him it !!
so.... my train of thought here is ...... is it so natural from such a early age that this happens ?? is it part of lifes "learning" process that some children go through ??
this young mum was so embarrassed when she told me, and even more embarrassed when she said her little boys dad wouldnt even go in his bedroom because he said she was trying to make him into a girl !! :straightface:
ive never even thought of any of this @ all with children, but it most certainly made me stop & think after this encounter this afternoon !! :rolleyes:

[tommi]

I remember having a mural of a seen from Bambi on the wall when I was little
and I can tell you it had little chance of my cd behavior. I really hated that
movie as a child. My dressing started more as me wearing moms nylons and
shoes , and a whole lot of other variables. I was youngest of 4 had some
heart problems from birth so I was sheltered and then on top of all of that
I just enjoyed and envied girls for their clothes for as long as I can remember.
The room had little to do with it.

[Robin Leigh]

so.... my train of thought here is ...... is it so natural from such a early age that this happens ?? is it part of lifes "learning" process that some children go through ??Sure, some people start to express gender variance at a young age. A supportive environment before & during puberty is a much healthier environment than most TG/TS people get to experience. OTOH, this child isn't living in a bubble, and will probably need to be discreet when not at home. Especially in your neighbourhood!

How old is this child? Only one??? I thought there was a typo in your post...

:hugs:

Robin

[Tina B.]

It's funny how we think we can infuence children, I have known people that don't want there little boy to learn about violence, so they won't allow war toys in the house, and then you see the child point his finger at someone, and go bang, bang! If you see a little boy take his Action Figure (boys doll) and play house with it, he may be one of us. I belive you can try to lead a child the way you think they should go, but you can not make them end up where you want them to be. It's kind of built in.
Tina B.

[Kate Simmons]

Angie, if she is a smart Mom, she will let the boy alone and not try to influence him whatsoever. It sounds like the Dad doesn't get to spend much time with him, which is unfortunate. Children need to spend time with both parents if they are there and available. I would have loved to spend time with my Dad but he always seemed to be working to support us and then he was always going to veterens meetings or something else at night. Still, that did not influence my thinking in any way and I just got into CDing on my own as my Mom never encouraged me to do it. It's okay if the boy is girlish but he needs the guideance of his parents as he will be asking questions about things. He needs to become the person he was meant to be, though, without any influence one way or the other.:happy:

[Daintre]

I think all children try out different things whether it be playing with action figures or dolls. As parents we should take note of what is going on, but NOT try and push the child into a certain way of acting. Painting a young boys room pink is going over board, nothing wrong with a pink accent or two. In this example, the dad won't go into the pink bedroom, so how does the child feel about this? The dad is embarrassed and the child must pick this up. Children need guidance from us in order to grow normally. We must always be aware not to over react to what our kids are doing and playing with. Kids will grow into and out of many different phases.

* this is just my opinion *

[Valerie Nicole]

I think that what any child needs, no matter what, is love and support. As a really little boy, I used to play dress-up in some of my sister's old costumes and such. My mom discouraged this...and I think this is (at least part of the reason) why I felt so guilty when I hit my teens and started dressing. :2c:

[Robin Leigh]

Painting a young boys room pink is going over board, nothing wrong with a pink accent or two. In this example, the dad won't go into the pink bedroom, so how does the child feel about this? From the way WickedBlonde put it, it sounds like the pink bedroom was the kid's idea, just like the pink clothes, etc. It's just that the mother is accommodating these desires, and the father isn't. The Pink Fog is strong in that house, and the dad doesn't like it. His reaction is quite understandable, but I agree it's not a good situation to have that division. Still, it's better for a young TG to get support from one parent than from neither, don't you think?

Robin

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

i dont know this lass or her children, id say her son was about one maybe alittle younger . i shouldnt have been shocked really :eek: but it just made me think more . and i remeber my mum telling me i didnt like dolls , hated them !!
yes where i live it is hard very hard enviroment , when i first moved here i had to toughen up to, to my surroundings.
i think maybe because this little boys sister had these things, it was just something he was copying . if i hadnt experienced c/d and been involved with forum im ashamed to admit id have been horrifed ( sorry ) :sad: but, it actualy made me what to post, and get some input on this. :rolleyes:
life is very cruel ( as we all know ), and ive seen where a girl is having to take a father role in the family, because of mothers "problems". & this little girl is only six !! :sad:
its a case of "dog eat dog " out there today, & children in one shape or form are having to change/grow up alot faster than alot of us did !!
so, role reverseals , exploring femmine/male sides , is now part of alot of childrens lives :rolleyes:

[ToyGirl]

One of my friends who transitioned through school , her father left them , couldnt deal with it. Seems to be pretty standard.

The fact that colours have gender makes me sick to the stomach , colours dont need a gender and the world would be a better place without the constant pressure of binary gender roles.

Hope the kid grows out of it.

[Maddie]

my grandson wears my daughters 3 in boots and also has a stroller and baby doll

there is nothing wrong with this the doll and stroller make him a better and understanding young man and a hell of a lot better than his father

ps he is only 2 and takes very good care of his little boy baby

[kristine239]

Yes, there is a lot of this going on in the world. I was talking to a mother in Brisith Columbia, Canada today who is going through the same process.

In this case I think the father is much to mocho and needs some help and the mother also needs to know that there is a lot of help available for her. this should not be ingnored as it won't go away and if not treated soon, will lead to major problems in this youth's future.

In the US and Canada there is a very active organization called PFLAG that has a great program for trans-youth. I hope there is such an organization in the UK.

Keep this in mind incase you encounter this situation in the future.

[Charleen]

This thread dredged up a memory of my dad. Now, my mom knew I loved to walk in her heels and play house ect. My dad on the other hand was a "man's man".Look in the dictionary under masculine and you'll see a picture of my dad. He loved having a son, but in the end I was a disappointment to him. The only we had in common was a love of cars. What came to mind reading this thread was the fact that when about 3 he gave me a baby doll. Said his mechanic had it in the shop. Someone left it. I loved that doll, playing house with my friends, bathing it ect. I also realised I still had it. My mom saved it and it was in her stuff. I just pulled it out and am going to clean it up and put it on my bed.
What I don't think I'll ever understand is why my dad gave it to me in the first place. Most if not all my life he tried to tell me how to a "man" and not a sissy. I HAD to have a crew cut until my mom intervened when I was in the 8th grade, and I was the only one with a crew cut. Bottom line is that I never turned out to be the man he thought I should be.
That mentality is still highly prevalent today unfortunately.

[JoAnnDallas]

A friend of ours have two children, a girl and a boy. They are only a year apart, with the girl being the oldest. I remember when they were around 4/5 years old and the girl started wearing nail polish, bows, and such. Well her younger bother got mad and had a fit until his mother also let him wear nail polish, bows and such. This did not last too long, since all his sister's GF's teased him about it. Today they are both grown and I bet he doesn't even remember the incident. LOL

[JoAnnDallas]

There was a news program on the other day, two twin boys, age 7, where one twin was all boy and the other twin was all girl. The twin boy that was all girl, had a Pink and Lavendar bedroom, dolls, a doll house, and wore bright Pink nail polish. His twin brother's bedroom was decked out in GI Joe colors, model aiplanes, military toys, and such. They asked the twin that was all boy what he wanted to be when he grew up. He asnwered that he want to join the Army. Then they asked his brother, and he answered that he wanted to be a "GIRL of course". The parents said that they were allow each twin to express their inner feelings and was not going to try and force the one that was girlish to be anything else than what he is. They did say that say the the girlish twin does get teased some.

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

maybe as well, as long as the child is happy & well then thats the main thing :o creating a comfort enviorment for the child whatever the wants/needs i suppose comes first for any parent !!

[JoAnnDallas]

Mabey today, but when I was growing up and I expressed girlly ideas, my father would have gotton mad and forced me to be a boy. Just the difference in society today I guess. I grew up before Dr. Brothers appeared on the sience. LOL

[JenniferR771]

JoAnn,

Twin boys age 7. One girly and the other masculine. Are they identical twins?
If identical their genetics are identical. This case history almost proves that gender identity is not the result of genetic processes--it is not inheirited.

On the other hand perhaps someone can cite some evidence to the contrary. I think I heard somewhere that twin boys where one is gay--the other has a few percentage points higher chance of being gay also.

Twins raised apart are a better genetic experiment--because then the effects of early childhood upbringing are eliminated.

Jennifer

[JoAnnDallas]

From what I heard on the news, yes they were identical twin boys. Genetics may or may not have anything to do with Gender Identity. I have heard that Gender Identity may be hormaonal more than genetics.

[RobertaFermina]

What you resist, persists.

As long as the opportunity is always there for the boy to choose to do boy things *or* girl things, then all is well.

If he ever has enough, or is curious, he can choose to do a boy thing, and start down that path as far as he wants.

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[amanda barber]

ive never even thought of any of this @ all with children, but it most certainly made me stop & think after this encounter this afternoon !! :rolleyes:

Gender identity is usually known by the person around 4-5. It is then fought/supressed/ingnored for years or decades if it doesn't match the physical gender, only to be "realized or "discovered" later in life.

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

Actulay, a comment that was made in a earlier post ( re colours ), its the same with a child/baby when they are young etc. "pink" for a girl, "blue" for a boy !! yet i dressed my daughter in white or lemon :o & when i found out what sex she was, people would say :
" oh dont guarantee that, what would you do if it was a boy & u had all pink things " !!
i think now adays , people do go for "negative" colours. ive no probs dressing my child in blue clothes ( even thouh she is a girl ) !! :rolleyes: strange isnt it how colours etc effect so many gender issues !!

[Rachaelb64]

Things will go as things go :happy:

At 2yrs old my son pushed a toy pram around and had doll it lasted for about 18months. Personally I never made a big deal about, my ex-wife seem to have the problem.

He is now 15, plays rugby, football, rock climbs, skies and every thing else inbetween. He well adjusted from teenage boy.

He knows about my crossdressing, and through he does want to see me dressed he hasn't rejected me and we still do alot of father/son things together.

It does really matter in my view whether boys plays with a doll or girls like playing football as long as they know there are loved. :D

[Tina B.]

I am another one that had a macho dad, 50's style, the first time he caught me in a dress, playing dress up with a bunch of other kids, around 6 or so, he let me know in no unceartain terms, that it was not a thing a boy should do, and if he caught me doing it again, there would be trouble that I didn't want to see.
when I was ten, we had another child brought in to the world, a boy, but times they where a changing, at least for my mom, he was a change of life baby, and was spoiled rotten by all of us. he wanted a doll when he was around three or four, so mom got him a boy doll, dad had a fit, but mom won out. she made a whole wardrobe for that doll, and by brother took the thing everywhere we went, much to dads embrassment. now in his mid fifftys he is as macho as they come, and I am the girly one, wish I could of had a doll!
Tina B
you will be what ever you will be, and there is no stopping it!