Maggie Kay
02-21-2007, 06:02 PM
I've been gradually increasing the femme content of my attire and manner in public. Today, my wife and I were walking down a side street and we met a man who said "Bon jour, Ladies, wonderful day" and then with a big smile, he explained that Bon Jour was French for good day. We hurried on by. We were sort of aghast as he was very forward. It is a tourist town and things like this happen. However, not to me, usually. My wife later asked me if I was uncomfortable about the exchange. I said that it was part of what I now have to expect. She said that she was OK with it too, now. I realized that I had passed to the point that the protection normally afforded her by my male presence had gone. Later, someone else in a store called me Ma'am and asked me if I needed help. I responded in my best femme voice "No, just looking" so as not to embarrass the store clerk!
I am just fine with the issue but it brings up a point. This is serious stuff and no longer just a matter of possible public embarrassment. Now, when I am in public I have to be aware of a totally new responsibility of behavior. I have to act like the other women and behave according to new rules. Men no longer give me space instead they get into mine. Women act catty sometimes and try to push me out of their space. Instead of wondering if I pass, now I apparently have to deal with the probability that I do pass. There is no longer any way to predict how people will react to me. I used to be fairly sure if I walked up to a stranger and put on a certain smile, look and such that I would be received in a way I wanted. No more. Now all bets are off and I have a totally new world in front of me. DID NOT see that one coming!
My initial reaction was, I gotta stop this RLE now! However, that was fleeting as I know there is no turning back and I really don't want that anyway. Still, Having all my social mechanisms nullified is like living in a foreign country where the customs are totally different and one can insult without meaning it. I suppose in time, I'll learn the nuances of this new life.
I am just fine with the issue but it brings up a point. This is serious stuff and no longer just a matter of possible public embarrassment. Now, when I am in public I have to be aware of a totally new responsibility of behavior. I have to act like the other women and behave according to new rules. Men no longer give me space instead they get into mine. Women act catty sometimes and try to push me out of their space. Instead of wondering if I pass, now I apparently have to deal with the probability that I do pass. There is no longer any way to predict how people will react to me. I used to be fairly sure if I walked up to a stranger and put on a certain smile, look and such that I would be received in a way I wanted. No more. Now all bets are off and I have a totally new world in front of me. DID NOT see that one coming!
My initial reaction was, I gotta stop this RLE now! However, that was fleeting as I know there is no turning back and I really don't want that anyway. Still, Having all my social mechanisms nullified is like living in a foreign country where the customs are totally different and one can insult without meaning it. I suppose in time, I'll learn the nuances of this new life.